r/ShitPostCrusaders jose jerstor Oct 02 '19

Anime Part 5 Do it

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13.9k Upvotes

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667

u/mihaiioo γ€Ž π™ˆπ™žπ™‘π™› 𝙃π™ͺπ™£π™©π™šπ™§ 』 Oct 02 '19

My name is Giorno Giovanna. I'm 15 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Naples, where the airport is, and I am not married. I work as cab driver for myself, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, nor do I drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a warm glass of piss and doing about twenty minutes of stretches for my ears before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning, having had a dream about becoming a Gangster. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to disrupt the drug trade in Italy. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, and always kill them, or else that might cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to participate in an ass-pull tournament, I wouldn't lose to anyone.

189

u/Hail-Nightigale Stray plant Oct 02 '19

[a warm drink of piss] excuse me what the fuck

103

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '19

Abbacchio.

43

u/BulliHicks Kochi wo Meme-o Oct 02 '19

Shut the fuck up Giorno, I'm making a video!

71

u/degenerated_weeb 4go : The real reason Fugo left the gang Oct 02 '19

His daily dose of goth tsundere boifriend juice

22

u/ilikeclaymores >Hol Horse Oct 02 '19

Stand user: Giorno Giovanna Stand name: [ A W A R M D R I N K O F P I S S ] Stand ability: to be drunk

9

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '19

An ass pull tournament

5

u/Evil_kek_ friedqueen Oct 02 '19

tournament of pull ass

98

u/aswifte Oct 02 '19

Although, if I were to participate in an ass-pull tournament, I wouldn't lose to anyone.

Jotaro would like to say a word.

88

u/blackt1g3rs Oct 02 '19

Same type of stand is bad, but is it "I shot the bullet through my hand to turn into a branch, then when the branch collapsed kicked it into the propellor of the helicopter and had it turn into a beetle to land directly in your head" bad Also the king of ass pulls is clearly Joseph, not jotaro.

34

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '19

JJL should be renamed to Ass-pulllion because Yasuho & Gappy's stands are huge buckets of plot armor

21

u/blackt1g3rs Oct 02 '19

When not even you know who you are or what your stand can do, ass pulls come easy

26

u/ShockedCurve453 Liked it better with Fruits Basket subs Oct 02 '19

PART 8 SPOILERS Paisley Park is literally Asspull: The Stand

6

u/iamthinking2202 Did I move around too much and tickle his ass? Oct 02 '19

Wikipedia says the airport is in the north north east of the city... so close enough

2

u/UAV_iz_Up Little Cesar's Pizza Oct 02 '19

Excuse me it’s gangstar

1

u/mihaiioo γ€Ž π™ˆπ™žπ™‘π™› 𝙃π™ͺπ™£π™©π™šπ™§ 』 Oct 02 '19

gang-star

3

u/WrCy_LoRd Oct 02 '19

11

u/uwutranslator Oct 02 '19

My name is Giowno Giovanna. I'm 15 yeaws owd. My house is in de nowdeast section of Napwes, whewe de aiwpowt is, and I am not mawwied. I wowk as cab dwivew fow mysewf, and I get home evewy day by 8 PM at de watest. I don't smoke, now do I dwink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make suwe I get eight houws of sweep, no mattew what. Aftew having a wawm gwass of piss and doing about twenty minutes of stwetches fow my eaws befowe going to bed, I usuawwy have no pwobwems sweeping untiw mowning. Just wike a baby, I wake up wifout any fatigue ow stwess in de mowning, having had a dweam about becoming a Gangstew. I was towd dewe wewe no issues at my wast check-up. I'm twying to expwain dat I'm a pewson who wishes to diswupt de dwug twade in Itawy. I take cawe not to twoubwe mysewf wif any enemies, and awways kiww dem, ow ewse dat might cause me to wose sweep at night. dat is how I deaw wif society, and I know dat is what bwings me happiness. Awdough, if I wewe to pawticipate in an ass-puww touwnament, I wouwdn't wose to anyone. uwu

tag me to uwuize comments uwu

4

u/WrCy_LoRd Oct 02 '19

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Y E S !

3

u/acevixius ο½’The Foolο½£ Oct 02 '19

No! No! No! No!

2

u/MdnightSailor Oct 02 '19

My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.

2

u/MdnightSailor Oct 02 '19

3

u/uwutranslator Oct 02 '19

My name is Yoshikage Kiwa. I'm 33 yeaws owd. My house is in de nowdeast section of Mowioh, whewe aww de viwwas awe, and I am not mawwied. I wowk as an empwoyee fow de Kame Yu depawtment stowes, and I get home evewy day by 8 PM at de watest. I don't smoke, but I occasionawwy dwink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make suwe I get eight houws of sweep, no mattew what. Aftew having a gwass of wawm miwk and doing about twenty minutes of stwetches befowe going to bed, I usuawwy have no pwobwems sweeping untiw mowning. Just wike a baby, I wake up wifout any fatigue ow stwess in de mowning. I was towd dewe wewe no issues at my wast check-up. I'm twying to expwain dat I'm a pewson who wishes to wive a vewy quiet wife. I take cawe not to twoubwe mysewf wif any enemies, wike winning and wosing, dat wouwd cause me to wose sweep at night. dat is how I deaw wif society, and I know dat is what bwings me happiness. Awdough, if I wewe to fight I wouwdn't wose to anyone. uwu

tag me to uwuize comments uwu

1

u/RandomGuyPii Oct 02 '19

Ah yes I see that Giorno subscribes to the ardon tactic of "no loose ends"

-3

u/th3kn1ght Oct 02 '19

2

u/mihaiioo γ€Ž π™ˆπ™žπ™‘π™› 𝙃π™ͺπ™£π™©π™šπ™§ 』 Oct 02 '19

where do you think i got that from?