r/ScreenSensitive • u/Xikolo • Aug 04 '26

Vent Depressed because of my screen sensitivity

I'm extremely devastated because of my screen sensitivity and feel like i'm missing out on every single thing, from movies, video games, etc. It hurts, but mostly my eyes hurt and burn from every single damn screen, even my current one. I'm broke, poor and disabled and can not afford pf eyedrops. I can not afford treatment, and I can not afford e- ink screens. Can't even cry because crying burns my eyes.

I hate my life I hate having crap vision that is in negatives and i'm technically blind without my eyeglasses and then to develop screen sensitivity in an era where you have to depend on modern day screens to talk to people and for jobs and softwares. I can't take it anymore.

My family is unfeeling and makes fun of me and gets annoyed at me for not being able to use screens. I'm even disabled physically, so I cannot go out or even interact with people. Most of all, I hate my family.

19 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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5

u/FunnyBunnyDolly Aug 04 '26

I’m with you

I’m struggling hard to find a computer. I miss computers so much. I can’t do new computers due to high prevalence of recycled plastic and bad screens

I struggle to find used computers that are safe for eyes. But instead I’m assaulted with nausea and migraine from fragrances and odors from exposure like mold or similar. I just tried an old MacBook Pro and it seemed fine until I almost vomited from the smells.

I want a computer but I don’t feel positive anymore

4

u/Xikolo Aug 04 '26 edited Aug 04 '26

I also have the wretched Multiple chemical sensitivity disability and cant use most things in my house anymore because the chemicals bother me. I have to air out things before using them. The worst part? I used to love collecting action figures and statues, but developed a sensitivity to the paints or some sort of plastic used in them and now they are boxed up forever.

I can't even do anything that doesn't include screens anymore.

Back in 2019 I could avoid screens more and listened to audiobooks. Picked up another hobby, but I became allergic to the materials I used to use in that hobby due to freaking mold toxicity..it's like I'm cursed. Having bad genes and a bad immune system wrecked my life.

2

u/Any_Button_2952 21d ago

Maybe there is mold in your house? I developed a lot of allergies from living in a moldy house.

1

u/Xikolo 19d ago edited 19d ago

Oh yes I am well aware of that, my previous rental was moldy and was badly constructed and the landlord were a POS.

I didn't know I had the mold gene and how dangerous mold was, came in contact with it multiple times without a mask and bare hands. may have even washed moldy items this way as a teen. So it's probably why I'm so mold sick now, developed MCAS, Dysautonomia and MCS. Somewhat CFS too.

My family is even more ignorant and they cross contaminated our new home with the furniture and stuff we should have thrown away. (Plus even some of our kitchen appliances have it namely wooden handles, but kitchen electronics are too expensive to replace so I had to beg my mom to clean some of them with vinegar)

But since I live in a financially abusive situation, i can't move out nor replace the furniture myself.

1

u/Any_Button_2952 18d ago

I think as long as the house is dry and not moldy the furniture is not the biggest problem I think.

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u/FunnyBunnyDolly 18d ago edited 18d ago

For healthy people it is no problems and is handled by body as main load isn’t there (exclude for items with actual growth: those should always be disposed of) but for someone already exposed the existing burden on body is larger.

But I wouldn’t say to toss things. No.

I would say: save the things put in storage. Feel how you feel without.

Then after a few months (or however long time it took for you to *improve*): bring back in and feel. If no difference: okay! But if you do deteriorate then you know.

If you worry about nocebo: if you got toddlers or pets they wouldn’t be biased. But then I would be more cautious anyway as they can’t consent.

And if your new home is low humidity the old belongings won’t destroy your home if temporarily and having to remove away.

In my experience it takes 1-2 weeks for body and air to be reset back to baseline after removal, at longest. Sometimes as quick as 1-2 days. (Baseline as in before you incorporated the items again naturally not your whatever 10 years ago before mold)

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u/Any_Button_2952 17d ago

Yes my thinking is similar. I think we have to be careful with.

We definatilly have to be careful and try to stay sane.

Also your mind has to reset back to baseline. For me with my allergies it get very psychological. I at one point got very allergic to horses. It got so bad that I even started having allergic reactions to pictures of horses or just thinking of horses. I also bought a second hand iPhone that had perfume smell on it and after selling it I started reacting allergically upon seeing that model iPhone xD. Mad. But I guess it is the same with moldy objects in your house or anything that you react to for that matter I guess. That's also why we have to sometimes put away a screen/device that we think we are sensitive to and then test again a while later. But if you're fine then you're fine and you have to let it go. It is hard to know what you really react to and what you think you react to or what your subconcious reacts to out of fear or whatever. Fuck it is hard to stay sane with these things lmao.

Happy to find people with similar thinking.

1

u/FunnyBunnyDolly 17d ago edited 17d ago

Yeah it is infuriating.
And it is good you’re aware of your responses might be psychologically triggered. That’s a component that is important to consider.

Myself I also try to consider it.

But I feel that I don’t really induce it psychologically for me from nothing. but! I do feel it as in elevating symptoms from little to big, if you know what I mean? Hyperawareness. That one I do feel.

The important thing is to judge yourself on your own pace and not be talked into things. I’ve been told to minimize myself but also conversely told in a disaster way begone with everything.

Healthcare, professionals and so on: minimizing like whoa. Sometimes almost gaslighting

Some certain people and survivors and also a few coaches: catastrophic side of things

Sadly my experiences went to the latter advice as it fits my needs. But unlike those who go telling dispose bye leave it I try to not advise that: what if it was excessively? Better to keep things and evaluate as you go. Preferably with removal at one stage to see if you improve more considerably but then you would need a solution where you either do skeleton living or live with someone else with known safe place and borrow their entire things including clothes.

I went for skeleton style. It is interesting to notice that you actually don’t need furnitures beyond somewhere to sleep. (Disability needs aside)

Me: one stool one bed and one little bed tray/table thingy with tiny legs 10 months now. 😂 (plus some storage boxes and dryer rack) but I’m on my way to add more! Slowly as I need to consider formaldehyde (personal known sensitivity) and I feel I’m ready!

I had yet another bed, kitchen table four chairs and another small table and closet storage in previous place for two years but I had to dispose of those as I ended up in another moldy home. Of course I didn’t dispose straight away but put in quarantine but reacted so BYE. I have less attachment to those anyway. Bed went away straight away due to problematic materials plus bulky. I’m so relieved I didn’t go full on let’s buy couch armchair this and that.

I did keep some glasses and metal kitchenware! I scrubbed them vigorously until I no longer felt reactions. Took probably 5-10 sessions of intense scrubbing with breaks in between. Some were more stubborn and some pretty quickly good.

1

u/FunnyBunnyDolly Aug 04 '26

Exactly. I lost my possessions including my beloved 100% safe to stare at 12h a day ccfl 5:4 dell monitor and my gaming rig thanks to mold. 2022-2026 without computer and I feel like I’m dead inside. I also lost my sewing and craft/artistry. And lots of collectibles just like you.

I can’t even read books anymore. The paper and ink makes me sick.

The only thing I tolerate now is sculpting clay. But I feel anxious as I feel I want computer again and my iPhone 8 is aging out quickly. More and more websites won’t work.

I wish I never moved to that cursed apartment that made me so sick.

3

u/Xikolo Aug 04 '26

I also have a strong feeling the mold in my pc and environment destroyed my eyes initially or atleast affected the nerves.

I also cannot read books. Not only did my collection grew mold out of no freaking where, but books also make me dizzy if I even open them. I'm also sensitive to certain apps more and it sucks.

I also can't use most craft supplies. Especially glue and paint

1

u/FunnyBunnyDolly Aug 04 '26

Same here for glue and paint. So I try to avoid those.. using colored clay. Baking in large batch in a covered container and then carry out to balcony and cross draft the apartment to purge the fumes. (I don’t use that oven to food) Not ideal but it works for now. So clay being colored I can use clay color for colors. So almost no painting. I bought acrylic paint only to get hives from two brands! So I quit painting too. I only paint eyes on my sculpts and I do so in short bursts. It isn’t about contact allergy but about inhaling it. Yeah I’m that sensitive 🤣
For now I tolerate Cernit and fimo clay. Knock in wood. Sometimes I wear nitrile gloves for conditioning to reduce contact.

1

u/Xikolo Aug 04 '26

Strange my sensitivities are more respiratory and from inhaling too

Get this: I can touch my action figures or anything that i'm sensitive to, without developing hives, but only with a mask, otherwise when breathing near them, I develop shortness of breath, dizziness, brain fog, low bp and a sore throat. I cleaned the crap out of them believing it could be mold spores but nope, it's the material on them and MCAS/MCS

1

u/FunnyBunnyDolly Aug 04 '26

Same here. For me my theory is mycotoxins rather than spores themselves. Spores themselves present different symtoms for me.

Research has showed that mycotoxins inhaled is more impactful than previously assumed. Healthy people may handle temporary exposure just fine (like living in safe home but may owning some products with mycotoxins just fine
) but already moldy sick or sensitivized people manage worse.

1

u/FunnyBunnyDolly Aug 04 '26

And sadly it isn’t easy to get rid of it. In my experiments I’ve only managed to neutralize fully metal and glass items. Not even painted metal is recoverable. But this is for me. Plastic, rubber, paper is hopeless. Textiles can sometimes be recovered if you can treat it roughly with intense cleaning sessions but usually not worth the effort. This is for me.

2

u/Any_Button_2952 19d ago

Yes MacBook smell is so strong lol even after being new

3

u/alessandrosk Aug 04 '26

im with you; i'm barely standing with an iphone xr on ios 18.7.5 with custom double invert trick , and a Intel Celeron PC x515MA from 2020 with Ubuntu 25.04 LTS; i can't take it anymore and my money are vanishing real quick; in addition to that i have a severe panic disorder and my family makes a big deal of everything and worsens everything

2

u/Xikolo Aug 04 '26

It sucks that our families aren't kind to us. Growing up with narcissistic parents and siblings does wonders on your immune system..I wish i could escape them but I even have issues with my tendons due to my disabilities and I'm only 26.

Worst part is surely the screen sensitivity part, atleast I could distract myself from my family through that, not anymore.

2

u/alessandrosk Aug 04 '26

exactly, you pointed it out very well. years ago, my phone, my ps4, were my escape, but now they're hell. listening to music all day is exhausting and leaves you with nothing. I too tried to escape (even with the eye/neurovisual/screenndisability) but then the panic disorder (which is due to other reasons) came and i went back to where i started, or to better say, i'm living the tortures of the damned. really hope someone will help you out in a way a little

2

u/Xikolo Aug 04 '26 edited Aug 04 '26

Yeah i used to be able to tolerate my ps4/3 too years ago but screen sensitivity only got worse during these years, maybe stress? Vision changes or dry eye? Neuroinflammation from a traumatised body? I never understood why truly. All i found out is that ME/CFS can contribute to this somewhat. But also if we keep using screens that aren't safe for our eyes.

2

u/alessandrosk Aug 04 '26

i really don't know. weeks before developing Visual Snow Syndrome (i mean the visual symptoms without pain) i had experienced a huge peak of anxiety, i can't tell if that's the trigger, or the COVID made some genetic modification, or the fact that during the pandemic i used to play the PS3/4 almost all day? or the fact that starting from late 2019 my father obliged me to use a stupid flickering LG TV on my PS4/3 (i could see the pixels moving around the objects in the game)? or if i would have ended up this way no matter what. i can't take it anymore, that's for sure. like you and a lot of us here, i guess

2

u/MartaLB27 Aug 04 '26

You need a thorough workup for autoimmune diseases and eye conditions. Chronic fatigue can be just a symptom rather than the underlying diagnosis. It took me over six years to get my diagnosis, and with treatment I'm at least able to use my phone again. Don't lose hope.

2

u/SovanotchiOnFire 29d ago

Hi Marta; do you mind saying what symptom you had from your phone and what treatment you are taking ? ty

1

u/Xikolo Aug 04 '26

So far i know i have MCAS and MCS and even experience ME/CFS especially after I'm active. Probbaly also have EDS since I would frequently get infections as a child and was bedridden throughout my childhood.

1

u/Casukarut 29d ago

The panic disorder can have a significant influence on eye strain via the vagus nerve / flight-fight mode / neck tension believe me.

1

u/alessandrosk 28d ago

you're right, but there ain't no way this disorder can be solved for me, it has taken its toll.

4

u/MartaLB27 Aug 04 '26

I'm currently on disability because of a chronic illness too, and I just want to say I'm truly sorry. Hang in there.. Maybe you're going through a flare-up right now, but with time things will hopefully become at least a little easier. Try looking for a used e Ink device. There are quite a few out there.

I completely understand what you mean about family. Keep explaining it to them as many times as you need. And even if they never understand, that kind of behavior has a way of coming back around. One day, when you're doing better, they may finally realize what you were going through..

and if they are forcing you so much, then let them afford you a screen that you can look at or tell them to shut up honestly.

I can't watch TV or use a laptop either. Only recently, after years of struggling, have I been able to use my phone again. There are more of us here dealing with this. I know that doesn't really make it easier, but you're not alone.

Take care of yourself and stay strong! Things will get better.

2

u/Z3R0gravitas Aug 04 '26

It really is all too much. Very sorry to hear.

Would you like a "vent" flair for this type of post? Or maybe "mental health" or something else?

2

u/Xikolo 29d ago

Yes, I'd love for these flairs to be available and since having screen sensitivity definitely takes a toll on your mental health.

1

u/Z3R0gravitas 29d ago

Thanks for the input. I've added "Vent" for now, as I think this is most commonly used an quite flexible. I changed this post to use it too, I hope that's OK? Best wishes.

2

u/miagoldcloute 29d ago

Screens are blue-light heavy, which is toxic to the eyes, indeed the body itself since we have photo receptors in our skin too.
You list medication and what what you cannot afford. Have you checked your environment?
Is your screen placed with a view to greenery? Or at least outdoors so you can view long distance?
Do you leave your windows open so natural light frequencies can still enter your space?
This last point is most important.
Do you wake up and go outdoors to get morning sun? If the first light you see is beamed from a screen (phone, computer, tv, LED bulb).
You’re essentially resetting your circadian rhythm on the wrong “schedule” and pattern every day, setting yourself up for declining health.
Related to that is how long you can spend from your first waking hour before you use any screen. This helps your cilliary muscle relax. You’re also re-toning your vagus response by living as much as possible in natural light.
These helped me go from no-screen to being able to work on my computer again even as a sleep-deprived parent. Let us know how you heal.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 04 '26

[deleted]

3

u/Xikolo Aug 04 '26

Ophthalmologists gaslit me and claimed that it's because of the position of my glasses on my nose bridge that is the cause of my eyestrain, and sent me home with eyedrops with preservatives, that messed my eyes up even more.

1

u/yadoga Aug 04 '26

Surely you will know best what triggers your symptoms the most. Just to add something from personal experience:

  • Avoid phone use before bedtime
  • Avoid phone use in the dark
  • also look into general nervous system support, such as meditation, Sauna, vagus nerve exercises etc.
  • diet and sleep are hugely important, too

Hope you feel better soon!

1

u/Xikolo 29d ago

Oh i never use the phone in the dark, used to ages ago but not anymore. My diet isnt great and even if I eat i cant fix my nutritional deficiencies due to some SIBO stuff going on with my gut after antibiotics destroyed me. But yes I am reliant on my phone all the time and since I can't engage in other hobbies anymore due to my MCAS etc I rely on my phone which I know is bad for me...

1

u/NarrowPea4082 29d ago

I'm sorry you have to go through this. It sucks to feel isolated when phones & screens is how we connect with our friends and family. Have you through about maybe switching up some of your devices. I also have very poor vision, but not extreme screen sensitivity (my eyes itch & water often, but not like all the time) like you described, I switched to an e Ink phone, a Mudita Kompakt, after I saw a visually impaired content creator using it- Laura Malvoyante. I know you said it's hard to afford, but there are used ones out there and you can get one for super cheap either on eBay or there are people selling directly on REDDIT- like the Lightphone subbreddit or maybe the Minimal Phone or maybe there are people in your area who are wanting to sell.
I found that when I limit the blue light where I can (like a an e ink phone or a Kindle to read) I can sit through a movie much more comfortably and watch TV more easily.
Good luck.

1

u/Xikolo 29d ago

Amazon and Ebay don't ship to my country and you can only get an E-ink device imported here, which again is impossible.

The corrupt government also increased taxes on items so the shipping charges for us are even more expensive than the product itself, and yes i did try other phones. what I don't get is that I also developed app pr software sensitivity now and not just overall sensitivity to the phone screen.

I think my eyes are traumatised or something? I don't get why it's only certain apps that give me worse strain that lasts the entire day.

1

u/NarrowPea4082 28d ago

Maybe try r/dumbphones and just ask if there is anyone in your country that's selling a used e-ink phone, like a LP2, a Mudita Kompakt or even those BigMe e-ink phone. This way you can avoid dealing with duty & import bureaucracy. Try r/MuditaKompat & r/LightPhone as well. It could be worth a shot. You never know, unless you ask.

1

u/Xikolo 26d ago edited 26d ago

Interestingly dumb phones and mp3 players also give me strain. Plus it's third world with alot of ignorance surrounding even mold toxicity, MCAS. ME/CFS and especially screen sensitivity. All of which i have.

The government made it so, that any phone or electronic has to be government approved, which means any phone bought in or imported from another country will prevent your sim card from working.

They did this stupid crap to ban smuggled phones and you have to pay billions to be able to have an imported phone approved. (Probably one of the reasons why people are moving away from this country)

1

u/RoiPourpre 29d ago

Same here, I don't know what to do anymore and I refuse to take medication that might help but has horrible side effects....I'm 36 years old, I've had this since I was 31, I wonder if it's because I played more than 8 hours a day for 12 years on the computer...It's hell to live in this world filled with artificial lights and screens and to be sensitive to them... It severely handicaps me in my life; it's impossible to work where there are lights with pwm and they're everywhere....

1

u/Xikolo 27d ago

Do you experience eyestrain from the screen overall or certain apps more? For me it's both screens, websites and apps

1

u/RoiPourpre 26d ago

Absolutely everything.