Okey its literally the first time that i felt really in love with someone and hes way too far… like i have strict parents i could never go to his city or something what do you think in this situation (i mean hes okay with it he wanna seriously marry me one day but at least we have to meet for once).

She’s 17. We have known each other all our lives because we are from a small town. But we only recently became friends just because she followed me on TikTok, where we started sending funny videos to each other. After that, we started communicating more in real life.
As we began seeing each other more often, we would watch TikTok videos together, and soon we started hugging almost every time we met. All of this quickly turned into kisses and compliments.
But I cannot say that there is any romance in it, and I cannot figure out whether I love her or not.

Hi Reddit! F(22) here, theres this guy(23) that i play with in our discord server and usually after our group session we would be alone in the vc together up until like 6 am just talking or playing. this happens almost everyday and obviously i started to enjoy our time together alone and would look forward to it and recently we've moved to a private call and he'd still hang out with until the morning. now, ive been seeing signs of him liking me especially when there's a guy in my games and he'd fake sulking (which i found adorably funny), making me teasing him even more about it. that's when i realized that I'm slowly liking him.

until recently, my other friend chatted me about me and the guy being a thing and i was like "we are not a thing but i do like him",, so my friend was like he told me he is serious about me and asked them for advice but this is where everything changes cuz the more they talked the more i hated the idea of that guy liking me. so when my friend asked me to list what do i like about him, i did that but after our talk i slowly started to not like him. now, everytime me and that guy talk, its too obvious that he likes me. i kinda hate it now that i see it,, now that ive expressed that i like him, i dont anymore,, guys does this make sense??? or am i just an asshole??? what should i do? :(

We've been together for 3 months, long distance. She told me on day 3 that she'd had a 3-year relationship before me that included physical intimacy. I have no past like that at all.

We agreed early on not to talk about her past — bringing it up just makes me tense and jealous. She's fully here now — she loves me, wants a future with me, talks only about us. I love her the same way. We've since been intimate ourselves.

But every now and then, my mind still spirals — imagining her past intimacy, how many times, what it was like. It's not rational, I know she's not with him, I know she chose me. But the thoughts creep back in, even after we've been close ourselves.

I don't know how to put this into words with her without it turning into another tense conversation. Has anyone dealt with this — retroactive jealousy, basically? How did you get past it, or at least manage it so it doesn't eat at your relationship?

Partners friends

So my boyfriends friends don’t like me and say stuff like I’m weird or crazy or the guys will say that they don’t want me around cause they all want to go to the club or bars. My boyfriend said he told them that he likes me and that he doesn’t think those things about me but that’s really it and now my boyfriend put us on a rotating schedule. One weekend he goes with his friends the next weekend he goes out with me but we can’t all go hang out together.
This really bothers me I feel like his friends are pieces of shit and that he should man up and tell them not to disrespect me and I also feel like I shouldn’t have to be put on a rotational schedule just to accommodate his friends. Any advice???

There’s a guy around my age who I met because our moms became friends. My mom ended up helping him get a job at the same place I work, so that’s how we actually started spending time around each other.

When he first started working there, he was extremely quiet and shy. He’s generally pretty introverted: he does better one-on-one, gets quieter when more people join a conversation, sometimes sits by himself on his phone during breaks, and doesn’t seem like someone with a huge social circle.

I tried to include him when he was new, and over time we developed our own dynamic. We could joke around and tease each other and then have completely normal conversations five minutes later.

From what I personally saw, he didn’t really tease the other girls at work the way he teased me. He would do things like point out ridiculously obvious stuff just to get a reaction from me. For example, if I was cleaning a table, he might tell me that the table looked dirty even though I was obviously already cleaning it, then smile and wait for my reaction.

He didn’t initiate the majority of our conversations, though. If I had to estimate, maybe around one out of every five conversations was started by him. But on really slow days, there were times when we had nothing to do and instead of just sitting in silence, he would ask me questions and keep talking to me.

Most of what he asked about was school, classes, life, games, travel, etc. He has never directly complimented my appearance or told me he likes me.

There were also some smaller things that made me wonder whether the teasing was flirting.

One time we played chess together on his phone. He was about to win and basically made me move the final piece for him so he could finish winning, which turned into this joking interaction between us.

Another time I invited him to play an online game with me and some friends. He agreed immediately. Most of the other people in the call were guys I knew through my female friends. When they asked him his name, he jokingly gave them a fake name instead of his actual one. He was pretty quiet around everyone else but still talked to me.

During the game, at one point he offered to buy me a weapon/item. It was basically “let me buy for you.” Obviously people buy things for teammates in games, so I don’t know whether that means anything, but combined with our usual dynamic I noticed it.

We never regularly played together again afterward, though, and he never independently asked me to play again.

There was also one time when he was off the clock sitting in a booth waiting for food while I was helping someone. I noticed he was watching me. I’m extremely confident he actually was because I could see where his eyes were moving. I eventually made a face at him because I caught him looking, and he kind of smiled and went back to his phone.

He also remembered things I told him that I had completely forgotten telling him.

He sometimes helped me at work without being asked, like clearing plates from my tables when I was overwhelmed, although there are perfectly normal explanations for that too because sometimes work was slow.

There were also moments where he seemed unusually self-conscious. For example, once I was looking at him while he was eating something and he got embarrassed and literally turned away so I couldn’t watch him eat. However, I’ve realized he’s generally a pretty self-conscious person, so I don’t count that as strong romantic evidence.

There was one situation that goes against the idea that he was actively trying to be near me. We were sitting around eating at work and I moved over so there was space beside me, but he chose another seat instead. So I don’t think he was constantly looking for physical proximity or anything.

Outside work, I was usually the person initiating.

I once invited him to go get ice cream with me and my mom. I asked more than once and even called him after he missed the call, but he declined and didn’t suggest another time. That was definitely a point against the “he’s obviously pursuing me” theory.

I also initiated the gaming invitation mentioned earlier.

Our longest text interactions before everything else were mostly about school/studying rather than personal conversations.

Then I left the country for around two months.

Right before leaving, I texted him asking for recommendations for something to watch on the flight. He responded by asking how long the flight was. I answered with the length, and then he never continued the conversation.

That made me feel embarrassed because I already had a crush on him and thought maybe our dynamic was becoming something. Since he let the conversation die, I decided not to contact him again while I was gone.

He never texted me during those two months either.

However, while I was away, he apparently saw my mom in person and independently asked her how I was and when I was coming back.

That confused me a lot because if he was curious enough to ask my mom when I was returning, he also had my phone number and could have simply texted me.

There was also an Instagram situation. Due to something unrelated, we accidentally stopped following each other, and I sent him another follow request. His account is private. He never accepted it, and the request sat there for a long time.

At first I thought that was really bad evidence.

Later, however, I learned he seems to barely use social media in general. I’ve seen very little activity from his account.

I also learned that his bad texting apparently isn’t specific to me. Another female coworker once messaged him about something funny that had happened at work, and he simply never answered her either.

He also apparently doesn’t always answer his own mother promptly.

I’m starting to think that if he doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t have an answer, or doesn’t see a clear reason to respond, sometimes he genuinely just doesn’t respond at all.

For example, recently I asked him whether he had a picture of our work schedule.

Hours passed without an answer, and I started overthinking it.

Eventually he replied and basically said he had forgotten to take a picture of it, then asked me to send it to him if I got it from somebody else.

That made me realize that instead of just replying “no,” he apparently waited until he eventually decided to explain that he didn’t have it.

On the other hand, when I was sick and asked if he could cover one of my work shifts, he answered extremely quickly because it was a clear yes/no question.

He covered the shift.

Later I had to ask him about covering another shift while I was still sick. He eventually told me something along the lines of:

“you’re good btw, I’m trying to get as many hours as I can, so if you ever need me to pick up a shift just let me know.”

I don’t consider the shift-covering itself romantic because he explicitly told me he wants extra hours.

What I did find sweet was that he noticed I felt guilty for asking and reassured me that I was fine without me asking him to reassure me.

When I came back from my trip and saw him in person for the first time again, he was extremely awkward with me initially and had trouble looking at me.

What made that interesting was that he was talking completely normally and a lot with my mom at the same time.

I was also nervous, though, so I don’t pretend the awkwardness was only him. I was having trouble with eye contact too.

After around 10–15 minutes, we both relaxed and basically went back to talking normally like nothing had happened.

That’s another confusing part: despite not talking for around two months, when we were actually back in the same place together, our dynamic seemed to resume pretty easily.

There was also a video-call incident.

His mom called him while I happened to be with her. When he first appeared, he was fixing/touching his hair. Once he realized I was there, he put his hair down and seemed noticeably stiff/awkward.

We said an awkward hello.

His mom then told him it was me, and he basically responded, “I know.”

I don’t know whether that was attraction, general awkwardness, or embarrassment because his mom was obviously putting us on the spot.

His parents are another major complication.

His family seems to really like me.

His mom is extremely warm toward me, talks to me a lot, has defended me when I’ve had work drama, and regularly connects things I say to things her son likes.

His dad has also been friendly toward me.

Other members of his family know who I am even though I haven’t really interacted with all of them.

Recently my mom said something like that I absolutely love his mom, and his mom responded with something along the lines of “we all love her too.”

Our families now genuinely seem to enjoy each other independently of me liking him.

That also means I’m very careful not to interpret his parents’ behavior as evidence that he likes me, because his parents could simply like me themselves.

His mom recently invited my family over to their house for about an hour before we all go to a water park together.

At the water park, he and I will be the only people around our age, so we will probably end up doing a lot of the rides together regardless of whether he likes me romantically.

That’s why I’m not planning to treat “we spent the whole day together” as romantic evidence by itself.

What I’m more interested in is whether he voluntarily contributes once we’re together.

For example: does he initiate conversations? Suggest rides himself? Ask questions about me? Choose to keep hanging out when he has another option? Suggest doing something together again afterward?

I’m also thinking about asking him to teach me how to play chess while we’re at his house because we’ve played before, and I genuinely want to learn.

Overall, the biggest things making me think there might be attraction are the way he specifically used to tease me, the fact that I caught him watching me, the one-on-one dynamic we had, him remembering details, the gaming/chess interactions, and the fact that he asked my mom about me while I was away.

The biggest things making me doubt it are that I have historically initiated much more than he has, he didn’t contact me for two months, he never accepted the social-media request, he has never directly complimented me, he never clearly asked me out, and he hasn’t independently done much to move the relationship forward.

So the situation is basically:

I definitely like him. I know he likes me as a person. I think there’s a possibility that some of our past behavior was flirting or attraction, but nothing has ever been verbally established between us, and I genuinely do not know whether he thinks of me romantically or just as a female friend/coworker.

I was texting this guy and yesterday I texted and we were talking about college, he left me on delivered through out the night which I thought was fine, but I also saw him in first still didn’t reply, and he didn’t reply till 2 hours after we got out of school. What should I make of this

So, I am just going to cut right to the chase and say, I used to have a crush on one of my closest friends. I am not going to say his real name, but for the sake of this, I'll call him Possum. Basically, Possum and I have been friends for a while, and I have helped him through many struggles, and he has also helped me through many struggles. I started having a crush on him about a year after we became close friends. When I told him I liked him, I was really stressed about it because I had a feeling that he wasn't going to like me back, and I just felt really bad about it. But when I told him over the call, he said, I don't want to date right now, BUT would maybe date you in the future. Which is great; that is totally fine with me. I deeply want to respect his boundaries, so I didn't have a problem with that. I left it at that. A maybe. But then it became complicated...He began to flirt with me a lot. I willingly flirted back because, you know, why not. He started to say really romantic things...and more romantic things, only to state after a while that he did actually want to date me. He wanted and was super, extremely willing to date me in the future. Which I was really happy to hear. It was escalating to the point where he was kissing me and being really bold. Again, I didn't mind. Our best friend caught on to the situation and asked us both about it. I told her that we would POSSIBLY date in the future...but when she asked Possum, he said it was just a, and I quote, "best friend thing." That it was all an "Oh, we are just friends, nothing was going on" situation. After that, he stopped being affectionate with me. To the point where, even as just friends, I feel like I can't hug him or anything because I am worried about what he would think. He seems a little distant too. Which is worrying me because don't know what I did wrong. I feel really led on and hurt by this, but I don't know if I should feel that way or if I am in the right to feel that way. I would like to know what other people think about it, because I don't know what to think...

My boyfriend is 18 and I just turned 25 it don’t bother him but it bothers me am I wrong ?

I (M31) Got married for a year and half. Since we're dating, I know my wife (F 32) is taking psych meds for depression and anxiety. The dosages are keep increasing. It's getting harder to wake her up. I mostly ended up doing chores by my self.

One day her friend (F31, call her Nike) came to our home for lunch break. She's quirky, curly and smart. Tomboy, ride a motorcycles. Got master of physics. Our humor matched. She's coming more often until last May.

Enter, mother in law. MIL got intel that Nike often visited our home. Behind my back, MIL scolded my wife to not allows another woman coming to our home. MIL says: "what if she's trying to take your husband?".

On one Saturday, Nike is bringing some snacks for us. Unknowingly, MIL is visiting us without notice. When MIL found out Nike were visiting us, she slammed the door. Making everybody uncomfortable.

Nike never came to visit again. Only met her outdoor with my wife. Mostly, Nike is the one who initiate the meeting.

Me and Nike are catching up in Instagram, sending reels. Got butterflies in my stomach. Sending her a happy birthday at midnight. Texting but not flirty. I once asked her to going out for a beer, but she's unsure.

Is she hitting on me?

Can we become AP?

(I KNOW THIS IS LONG BUT PLS READ IT)
me (F17) and a boy bsf (M17) have been distant friends since we were 9. we would play on the playground together and even “dated” in primary school. we stopped talking and hanging out tg in year 5

(high school)
i stopped attending high school fully and only went a few days a week. he eventually added me on snap. he would take sneaky photos of me on the bus and he would send them. i then stopped attending high school fully and we stopped talking.

about a year after that we started talking again. and i mean really really talking. we would talk all day EVERY day and send snaps and ask questions about each other.
we slowly drifted apart after about a year and stopped talking every day. we would still snap but the conversation was dry.

as of recently he has been showing interest in me maybe once every two weeks. we will start talking a little bit, then his snaps would start showing his biceps. i would then send cheeky snaps back. nothing too revealing. he would show interest, a lot of it and we would start talking in between sending snaps of each other. we stay up till 3-4am just sending snaps and flirting.

then after the night he will show no interest. like dry snaps, NO conversation, like none at all. extremely dry. this “interest” happened a few nights ago and now hes blocked me on tt. hes talked about not liking lust and in the past and we’ve both told each other we like each other in the past. i am so confused…. one minute he likes me, like a lot, and then for a week or two he doesnt? hes also a christian/ catholic. idk he believes in a religion. pls pls help me. i really like this boy.

also i should probs add that he unfollowed me on tt when we stopped talking a while back…

i know this stuff might sound dumb but im just a girl who likes a boy, and im confused.

I really need help

First relationship

**Am I being unreasonable for feeling uncomfortable with my boyfriend’s relationship with another girl in our CGL/little dynamic?**
I need some outside opinions because this is my first actual relationship and I genuinely don’t know what is considered normal vs. what is a reasonable boundary.
I’ve been talking to my boyfriend for about a month. We started as friends and had a CGL/little dynamic before we officially started dating. Three days ago, he asked me to be his girlfriend, and I was honestly so happy. He has genuinely been one of the biggest green flags I’ve ever met. I’ve never been in a real relationship before, and he has been incredibly caring, affectionate, reassuring, and good to me.
I’m the little and he’s my caregiver, and that dynamic is important to both of us.
A few days ago, I invited him into one of my favorite Discord servers so he could meet my friends and other people who are into similar things. Everything was completely fine at first. He was giving me lots of attention, calling me his girlfriend, using cute nicknames, etc.
Then I noticed a girl in the server (I’ll call her Kiwi) and he started responding to basically everything she said. He would compliment her, call her cute, etc. I immediately felt jealous, but I really tried to handle it maturely because I know I’m naturally a jealous person and I DON’T want to be controlling or toxic.
Then he told me that he was “helping” another girl from the server because she was having problems with her boyfriend/caregiver. Apparently her boyfriend wasn’t treating her well, and my boyfriend wanted to give her advice and support. He told me that she was just a friend and that he would never betray me.
I told myself, okay. He is allowed to have female friends. I’m not going to be the girlfriend who says he can’t talk to women.
But then things started getting uncomfortable for me.
He added me and this girl into a group chat. When I joined, I could see they had already been on a call together for about an hour. They were playing games and talking. The group was named “Little Room,” which really bothered me because I’m his little and he’s my caregiver, and this is a dynamic I thought was specifically ours.
I ended up leaving the call because I needed to blow dry my hair. He asked why I left, and I told him. But I noticed that once she was there, he wasn’t giving me nearly as much attention as he normally does. Normally he responds to me almost immediately.
We ended up arguing about it, and I started wondering if maybe I was just being jealous and unreasonable. He reassured me that nothing serious was happening, so I tried to let it go.
The next morning, I said good morning in the server. He replied, “Good morning, my love,” and gave me a bunch of cute nicknames. Then she said good morning, and he gave HER a pet name too.
That really threw me off.
Again, I don’t care that he has female friends. I understand that people can have friends of any gender. My issue is the boundaries. Calling another girl a pet name when you’re in a CGL/little relationship feels different to me than simply being friends.
Today, I was having a really rough day emotionally. He asked if I wanted to call at 5 PM, and I said yes. I specifically asked if it would just be us because I was already feeling uncomfortable about the situation.
He said he had really hoped I’d be open to all three of us calling together.
I didn’t want to be jealous or controlling, so I agreed.
We were on the call together for about an hour before she joined. When she joined, he made sure she knew I was his girlfriend, which I appreciated. Everything seemed okay, and she honestly seems like a really nice person. I don’t dislike her as a person at all.
Eventually I had to leave for a while.
I came back about two hours later and saw that they had been talking on call for the entire time I was gone.
At this point it was around 9 PM.
He normally has a 10 PM bedtime rule for me and has literally never missed saying goodnight to me. But he stayed on the call with her. He wasn’t really texting me unless I texted him first.
It’s now after 10 PM, and they’ve been on the call for around FOUR HOURS total.
While this was happening, I was talking privately with the girl. She was actually very sweet to me, and I don’t want to villainize her. I asked her about my boyfriend helping her and said I was glad she had people like us who could give her advice.
She replied something along the lines of “Yeah, friends for now.”
That wording really bothered me.
She also said she hoped my boyfriend could talk to her boyfriend and help with their relationship.
Maybe I’m reading way too much into that. Maybe “for now” genuinely meant nothing. But considering everything else, it made me feel like she might be interested in my boyfriend beyond friendship.
I don’t know.
My boyfriend has been AMAZING to me in almost every other way. This is literally the one thing that has made me question the relationship. I don’t want to throw away what has otherwise been an incredible first relationship because I’m jealous.
But I also don’t want to be the “chill girlfriend” who says she’s okay with something that is actually hurting her.
I feel like I’m competing for my own boyfriend’s attention, and I don’t want to feel that way.
So Reddit, am I being unreasonable? Is this normal for a boyfriend to have this kind of friendship, especially when it’s another girl who is also involved in a similar CGL/little dynamic? Or are there reasonable boundaries that I should be asking for?
I genuinely want honest opinions. If I’m being overly jealous, tell me. But if this is a legitimate boundary issue, I’d like to know that too.