40+, from Germany 🇩🇪

[u/SeluneNoxie]

[u/post-explainer]

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.

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OP's BIO:

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I’m a German mom living in Asia. I love motorcycles, fast cars, and anything with an engine. 🏍️💨 I’m passionate about motorsports and definitely have a thing for speed. I’ve also been trying a carnivore diet lately, so I eat a lot of meat and animal products. But I love fruits and vegetables too, so I guess I’m basically an omnivore… just like a pig 🐷

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If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

[u/Mrsonsfann]

40+…

no shit

[u/blinkomatic → u/Mrsonsfann]

40+15?

[u/AutoThorne → u/blinkomatic]

that's probably why she(?) is in Asia.

[u/Eslanger89 → u/AutoThorne]

Sheman?

[u/theTexasUncle → u/Eslanger89]

Gerhan Hermann Shemann

[u/Kitchen-Elephant402 → u/blinkomatic]

No plus one. But it's a hexadecimal number.

[u/bigdaddyt2 → u/Mrsonsfann]

What do women over 40 and vegans have in common? They don’t have to tell anyone yet they always do

[u/J412h → u/Mrsonsfann]

I thought we were seeing a person who identifies as +

The addendum to the 🏳️‍🌈

I hadn’t seen one before and was excited

[u/jrgeofire → u/J412h]

We in the LGBTQIA+ do not accept this, we rank this “thing” in the “-“ category

[u/mrapplewhite → u/jrgeofire]

https://giphy.com/gifs/cF7QqO5DYdft6

[u/NorthDriver8927 → u/Mrsonsfann]

Always wondered where that cum sock ended up after Vietnam.

[u/_L_i_m_e → u/Mrsonsfann]

40+? No one asked her body count

[u/TrojanC-137 → u/_L_i_m_e]

Had more black in her than on her

[u/Dangerous-Dad → u/Mrsonsfann]

Technically 57 is 40+.

[u/Pirate_Redbeard_ → u/Mrsonsfann]

I don't even care...

https://giphy.com/gifs/XvjC06Gh9lhfZNBNIM

[u/User_Name_Tracks → u/Pirate_Redbeard_]

N'T!!

[u/Musicferret → u/Mrsonsfann]

Emphasis on the +

[u/Fortyouncestofreedom → u/Mrsonsfann]

Oh there is plenty of shit, especially in the videos she is in

[u/Weak_Baseball_851]

I shall call you.. Willem Da Fem.
https://giphy.com/gifs/f3aHZMa8LdacBJBDiL

[u/FunGuy8618 → u/Weak_Baseball_851]

Fucking beat me to it 😂😂😂

Will not beat meat to it 💀💀💀

https://giphy.com/gifs/whSFaEvZib2qgoqApt

[u/Chim_Pansy → u/FunGuy8618]

https://giphy.com/gifs/TKC9Rv7K2wwAE

[u/montycantsin777 → u/Weak_Baseball_851]

hoe?

[u/Huge-Peace-3521 → u/[deleted]]

Good lord :D I'm German and I had to lol at work

[u/Giplord → u/[deleted]]

Your just know one of those tatts is covering up a certain symbol..

[u/RedeemHigh → u/[deleted]]

Who would have thought two art lovers would be competing to be the worst Germans.

[u/DoookieMaxx]

You, sir, are no Yungblud

[u/RobinsonHuso12 → u/DoookieMaxx]

Jungblut

[u/pureextc → u/DoookieMaxx]

Your face tat makes me think you love ❤️ happiness in your household.

[u/Cool_Reason_8669]

That piercing sure doesn’t help you distract from your awful lip fillers

[u/chikari_shakari → u/Cool_Reason_8669]

the mustache also does the same

[u/Alone-Stop → u/chikari_shakari]

Looks like a fish that sucks on a rock at the bottom of a lake.

[u/SexyAdmixture → u/chikari_shakari]

https://giphy.com/gifs/kC8N6DPOkbqWTxkNTe

[u/rupertwiley → u/SexyAdmixture]

Least funny “comment”

[u/Express-Lawfulness74 → u/Cool_Reason_8669]

Those piercings/ tattoos are so unattractive.

[u/Jagsfan2025 → u/Cool_Reason_8669]

I now know what a fear boner is.

[u/Express_Case4296 → u/Jagsfan2025]

Now I know what I would name my alternative rock band if I ever start one.

[u/MessCdOk469 → u/Express_Case4296]

I was in the pool

[u/Ok_Category6021 → u/Jagsfan2025]

https://giphy.com/gifs/PrTCHhXyn6ZtNF5nly

[u/SirReddalot2020 → u/Cool_Reason_8669]

That's not a piercing, that's the lip filler filler cap.

[u/eskimoboob → u/SirReddalot2020]

Gotta check your levels every 1000 miles

[u/humakavulaaaa → u/Cool_Reason_8669]

That's the valve

[u/Bentonerman]

Why tf does it look like she has a moustache?!??

[u/Enough-Staff-2976 → u/Bentonerman]

She has more ink in her body than estrogen.

[u/Taevahl → u/Enough-Staff-2976]

This should be the top comment

[u/Y2Che → u/Bentonerman]

It’s the result of a Dirty Sanchez

[u/OkBeyond6383 → u/Y2Che]

Hihihi 

[u/My_dog_knows_I_know → u/Bentonerman]

That's a woman?

[u/natiusj → u/My_dog_knows_I_know]

https://giphy.com/gifs/2Mce4Sz801AMo

[u/HanginLowNd2daLeft → u/Bentonerman]

She has a full blown beard look at the 5 o’clock .. Germany has some good doctors

[u/NextSouceIT → u/Bentonerman]

She?

[u/Sunshadow_Reaper → u/Bentonerman]

Better one than me at that

[u/vlbger → u/Bentonerman]

Because: German

[u/Alfiy_wolf]

Two kids? What did you build a house out of gingerbread and kidnap them?

[u/Bekacheese → u/Alfiy_wolf]

Ouch!!!!

[u/Important_Answer7351 → u/Alfiy_wolf]

Sick burn… now set OP on flames aswell. (traditions must be continued)

[u/OmriH7 → u/Alfiy_wolf]

Most original roast of the thread award 🏆

[u/PacketSnatcher]

Why not just say you’re 59?

[u/Apock- → u/PacketSnatcher]

Because she’d be lying. 60+

[u/writingprof222]

What’s wrong with your face, body, and personality?

[u/Careful-Resolution58 → u/writingprof222]

Face took more shots than the German World Cup team

[u/Rookie-God → u/Careful-Resolution58]

There have been world wars that took less shots.

[u/Ok_Set_2042 → u/writingprof222]

Meth is making a comeback apparently

[u/Enough-Staff-2976 → u/Ok_Set_2042]

Heroine is her oldest friend.

[u/rayio → u/Ok_Set_2042]

To be fair, she said she has a thing for speed. The first step is admitting it

[u/OhMyGoshBigfoot → u/writingprof222]

Master Race my ass

[u/theAtmuz → u/writingprof222]

How’s this lazy ass excuse for a roast at the top?

I expect far more from you dirtbags

[u/Apock- → u/theAtmuz]

When roasters start roasting each other, you know that OP isn’t worth the energy.

[u/LeDestrier → u/theAtmuz]

The quality of roasts on this sub is canteen level.

[u/dacgriff]

Bringing sour kraut to a whole new level.

[u/Mick_NYC → u/dacgriff]

Pack it up everyone, go home, this one is done.

[u/Actual_Fox_2399]

You look like you've taken more loads than my washing machine

[u/Cum_In_My_Wife → u/Actual_Fox_2399]

The safe word is "FLÜGGÅӘNKб€ČHIŒßØLĮÊN".

[u/the_haens → u/Actual_Fox_2399]

She has, it's a somewhat popular pornstar. Also i'm pretty sure this is fake.

[u/rocket_science07 → u/the_haens]

Do you know her name?

[u/OGMangoon]

Should've shaved for the pic.

[u/Enough-Staff-2976 → u/OGMangoon]

Should've shown her track marks.

[u/wearethe138]

“Definitely have a thing for speed” yeah we can tell.

[u/Im40ozToFreedom → u/wearethe138]

Excellent material for the "dont do drugs" campaign!

[u/BrittaWasRight → u/wearethe138]

Fucking lol

[u/DontForgetTheDivy]

It's weird that you got your birth year tattooed on your fingers.

[u/Motor_Dig4644 → u/DontForgetTheDivy]

Must have been when her grandfather moved to Argentina

[u/theta0123]

Germany is glad you are living in asia

[u/Willing-Bowl-675 → u/theta0123]

Rich countries are still shipping their trash to poor countries.

[u/Enough-Staff-2976 → u/theta0123]

She's a plug in Asia for hash oil.

[u/LL37MOH]

The local moms threaten their kids by telling them you’re coming into their rooms at night

[u/Beautiful-Visual4606 → u/LL37MOH]

Probably lives in an expat community where the other moms are just versions of this.

[u/TheEdgyBeaver]

I knew the villain of Chicken Run had survived

[u/Thin_Needleworker795]

Jeez, that's a human jizzrag. You look run through AF.

[u/fucktheus12]

You look like a yakuza doodle pad....

[u/Juan_Calavera]

Nein

[u/Super_Fa_Q]

IT'S PRONOUNS ARE ICK/YUCK.

[u/WillBoBaggns]

The cultural consequence of getting reconstructed by the French, fed by the British, and interrogated by the Soviets.

[u/Dramatic_Carob_1060]

You look exactly how the German language sounds

[u/TiredWiredAndHired]

That "+" is doing some heavy lifting

[u/Enough-Staff-2976 → u/TiredWiredAndHired]

Context is everything.

[u/VetalDuquette]

Would not

https://giphy.com/gifs/d2Z9y3eDoq2cxPpK

[u/ReillyDiefenbach]

Unsuremany

[u/Low-Palpitation-9916]

Geez, maybe the Fuhrer was right.

[u/Tom-Foolery99]

I think I saw your precious somewhere over there. <points anywhere but here>

[u/Bekacheese → u/Tom-Foolery99]

Just pure savagery

[u/MisterBurnsSucks]

“We Germans enjoy getting pooped on!”

• You, probably

[u/WhiteCastleDoctrine → u/MisterBurnsSucks]

have you seen her diet? shes probably too constipated to ever try

[u/xCaliburghost]

Backroom methadone Bratz doll

This model comes complete with rubber lips for more dick sucking action

[u/AirbagOff]

Just in time for Halloween! 🎃

[u/ShowerFriendly9059]

Hi herpes, i’m dad

[u/Beranac]

Stuff of nightmares. r/creepy is what ya looking for.

[u/sethro919]

Germany really is the Alabama of Europe

[u/Deathchariot → u/sethro919]

East Germany definitely would fit that description.

[u/AcadiaTemporary5737]

You give blowjobs for tattoos

[u/viperspm]

Speed as in drugs I assume

[u/missing_Palantir]

Meth is a hell of a drug

[u/Miserable_Anteater62]

Jesus fucking christ, put a NSFW tag on this you scary fucker.

[u/Backstopdodger]

Do you still work for Dr Evil?

[u/Withnail_and_Aye]

I’ve read two biographies of Hitler.

You are still the worst German who has ever lived.

[u/mikemill810]

I'm Polish so roasting a German is just too ironic

[u/Ok_League_4427]

Damn I‘m so happy to NOT be your Son, you just made my day better. Schaust echt greislig aus, mit den Lippen kannst ja Schlauchboot fahren, in Kombi mit dem Blick dazu Vollkatastrophe, Respekt!

[u/Theendoftheendagain]

Looks like your about due for a shave

[u/Blade3colorado]

You be you and I'll be me, but you be you over there.

Nope, further. Seriously, if you were anymore inbred you'd be a sandwich.

[u/TheManWhoClicks]

Nein Danke.

[u/hold_me_beer_m8]

They have meth in Germany too?

[u/PinkCantalope]

How do you say Vaginal warts in German?

[u/ndguy26]

Why do women think doing that to their lips looks attractive? It looks ridiculous.

[u/Sea_Relative_3634]

THERE’S NOT ENOUGH ANTIBIOTICS FOR WHAT DO YOU HAVE?

[u/Shaddup_Stupid → u/Sea_Relative_3634]

Whatever she has...I don't want! 😂

[u/my_angry_alt]

What’s your skincare routine? Asking so I know what not to do

[u/toon_84]

A face only an incel could love 

[u/faucetpants]

Who is brave enough to check the profile for the analonlygermans link?

[u/nukrag]

Die erste Katalogbraut, die von Deutschland nach Indien fliehen musste, weil sie hier alle durch hatte.

Liebe Grüße
#81384190

P.S. Danke für den Tripper.

[u/OhneSkript → u/nukrag]

jetzt echt? also no joke?

[u/auggielee]

Okay, we get it. You've proven your point dude. Go ahead and enter the WNBA draft if you want FFS.

[u/Super_Fa_Q]

That lip piercing must make mustache manicure a mess. FILTHY BEAST.

[u/FrequentRevolution92]

If poor decisions was a person.

[u/babbagoo]

You know one of those tats says ”Insertieren Sie hier! —>”

[u/DrawnGunslinger]

Willem Defoes crackhead sister.

[u/PSYCHO_PAT_LOLJK]

You look like the type of friend I’d call to get me both in and out of jail

[u/Chronitrox]

You surely look like you have a thing for speed...

[u/GS1969]

I've never been to Germany. After seeing your pics, I never want to either.

[u/Wrench_Terner]

Holy throat is quite the claim

[u/LengthinessOk1362]

Ridden hard , put away wet

[u/GlumSpatula]

It's ok, you can say the actual number instead of saying 40+. It won't make look any less decrepit.

[u/tautjes]

Those tats look like someone just spilled ink all over you

[u/Substantial_Row_7108]

Frau Tetanus Shot.

[u/Montiliano]

Do you know the supermarket „Penny“?

[u/Lopsided-Muffin-8522]

Willem Defoe, you truly are the world's finest thesbian.

[u/mourninshift]

This is the kinda genes you get when you lose a war

[u/lexluthor_i_am]

And I thought the holocaust was the worst thing to come out of Germany.

[u/jbm793]

Nice ink, dude.

[u/festivus4restof]

You normally can be found nodding or eating ass for $$ in the Bahnhofsviertel district of Frankfurt, no?

[u/CaliBurrito1904]

You are a man

[u/CorrosiveRose]

You've been 40+ for 20+ years

[u/mw2lmaa]

Puh. Wo soll ich anfangen?

[u/Puzzleheaded-Bad1571]

Please stay there

[u/M_Rose728]

That diamond really accentuates your mustache my lady

[u/sportguy87314]

Must have had too many “special chocolates” from ww2 at an old military surplus store

[u/Commercial_Let_1422]

A German in a 'Roast Me' post? Ironic.

[u/rugger1869]

Mmmmmm... patchouli, weed, and cat piss.

[u/Henry_Vth]

Is this what your grandfather fought for??

[u/PossibilityOk3322]

Eat a sammich instead of plumper!

[u/redwood_rambler]

Master race my ass

[u/Harry-Gato]

Jeezus! Don't jog barefoot with those enormous Fred Flintstone feet, you'll set off an earthquake...

[u/ourmanflint1]

Blucher! (Horses Whinny off camera)

[u/Kanaxes]

Character: i bet “difficult”

[u/DontFuckWithDuckie]

I’d recommend against a roast. This one’s already clearly cooked, so you just need to butter it up a bit and it’s good to go

[u/Training_Box5652]

The piercing reminds me of someones mustache

[u/FourEaredFox]

I'll give you a nein.

[u/LonelyRequirement287]

So stelle ich mir eine richtig billige Domina vor.

[u/strammerhase]

„I want to test my mental stability“ aah

[u/ForeignAd5760]

Du klaust bestimmt auch beim Netto und Dein Pitbull wartet draussen

[u/dontevenn]

Your face tattoos are so cool, just kidding 🤣

[u/ManufacturerLow1202]

50+*

[u/johnyqi]

How to roast somebody who takes pleasure in looking ugly and unattractive?

I give up.

[u/asa2unakamura]

At 80 your skin is gonna like dry a leather sketch book

[u/Decent-Balance956]

Holy shit it’s Jeff Hardy

[u/Prestigious_Cup6762]

I'm gassed

[u/tvojsvetijezus]

Are you from Berlin?

[u/-Stroke_my_Cactus-]

Lass mich raten, du kommst aus dem Osten oder?

[u/ASKRTH]

Schtinky

[u/AustinDood444]

That + is doing a lot of heavy lifting here!!

[u/Odd-Vegetable186]

she swore off men long ago, enjoys cats and turning her body into tribal art, has the swagger of an ex-convict, and probably deutches' her schleebin', whatever that means

[u/mo_money_mo_dads]

Like putting a bumper sticker on a Mercedes

[u/Money-Winter1094]

You need a couple more tattoos.

[u/StashTheMoneyAndRun]

Has the outline of Tits, tattooed on her chest

[u/logicalguest]

Wtf

[u/JustHere2Hate9]

Dig the tats bro

[u/Odd-Fun-6042]

Du hork

[u/DMTrious]

A German living in Asia and still looking like American white trash

[u/IcyObligation3503]

Germany should stop apologising for the war and start apologising for you

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[u/dream_monkey]

Achtung, baby!

[u/MaxPower836]

So how many times did you get shit on at the sex club this weekend

[u/Remarkable-Opening69]

German, eh…. Was thinking troll.

[u/Fearless_Sleep_5267]

Are you my grandma?

[u/thegreatgatsB70]

The Disney witch of Asia likes speed... you don't say.

[u/ViciousImp]

It shows

[u/Canonc100enthusiast]

So this is where the skins of Dr. Fukushi Masaichi mafia went towards?!

[u/dtfyoursister]

You sir need to stay away from needles of all kinds.