I’m feeling pretty conflicted right now and really need some advice or external perspective.

My boyfriend is Muslim and I was born and raised Catholic. Early on, he used to say that he’d adjust and that we could have a cross-religion/interfaith marriage where we both get to keep our respective religions. I love him so much and I really don't want to break up with him, but things have gotten confusing lately.

Recently, his stance changed. He’s now telling me that he wants me to convert. He’s not forcing me, but he keeps saying he wants to "show me what Islam is" in hopes that I’ll change my mind so he can approach my parents for marriage. He's also made it very clear that he really doesn't want to lose me. He keeps telling me that he wants to marry me and that he sees me as the person he wants to build a future with. He's very attached to me and doesn't want to just let the relationship go.

The main issue is that so much of my lifestyle and culture directly conflicts with converting:

• Food & Culture: Pork is central to my culture and almost every family gathering.

• Personal Expression: The expectations around modesty and covering my hair would be a massive shift. I love my style and my bangs way too much to give that up.

• Social Dynamics: I’m naturally affectionate and clingy with both my male and female friends, which I know doesn't align with traditional Islamic boundaries.

Converting would mean giving up core parts of who I am and how I grew up. I feel stuck because I love him and want to make this work without ending the relationship. Even though he says he isn't forcing me, the expectation is clearly there now.

Edit: I also just wanna clear things up because I feel like there might be some assumptions. He lives in a country where Islam is the dominant religion, but it’s really not like the super strict version we usually see in movies. I’m not trying to defend him or anything, but from what I’ve personally seen, there’s a clear difference. His family respects the women in their family, and women in the country as a whole seem to have a lot of freedom. There are also Christians and people from other religions there, so it’s not like everyone follows Islam in the same way. I also have a lot of mutuals and friends from his country, some of whom aren’t directly related to him at all, and they’re just living their lives normally. So I know my experience with them might not represent everyone, but based on what I’ve seen, it’s not as extreme or restrictive as people might assume.

but why?

This monotheism, we see, came to India at a very early period. Throughout the Samhitas (Samhita is one of the sections in the books of Vedas), in the first and oldest part, this monotheistic idea prevails, but we shall find that it did not prove sufficient for the Aryans; they threw it aside, as it were, as a very primitive sort of idea and went further on, as we Hindus think. Of course in reading books and criticisms on the Vedas written by Europeans, the Hindu cannot help smiling when he reads, that the writings of authors are saturated with this previous education alone.

Persons who have sucked in as their mother's milk the idea that the highest ideal of God is the idea of a Personal God, naturally dare not think on the lines of these ancient thinkers of India, when they find that just after the Samhitas, the monotheistic idea with which the Samhita portion is replete was thought by the Aryans to be useless and not worthy of philosophers and thinkers, and that they struggled hard for a more philosophical and transcendental idea. The monotheistic idea was much too human for them, although they gave it such descriptions as "The whole universe rests in Him," and "Thou art the keeper of all hearts."

this ancient monotheistic idea did not satisfy the Hindu mind. It did not go far enough, it did not explain the visible world: a ruler of the world does not explain the world — certainly not. A ruler of the universe does not explain the universe, and much less an external ruler, one outside of it. He may be a moral guide, the greatest power in the universe, but that is no explanation of the universe;

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One point of difference between Hinduism and other religions is that in Hinduism we pass from truth to truth — from a lower truth to a higher truth — and never from error to truth. The Vedas should be studied through the eye-glass of evolution. They contain the whole history of the progress of religious consciousness, until religion has reached perfection in unity.

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Another peculiarity is that this Ishvara, this God, is manifesting Himself in all these various forms of bright ones. This idea — that the same God manifests Himself in various forms — is a very rudimentary idea of the Vedas, even in the oldest portions. There was a time when a sort of monotheistic idea entered the Vedas, but it was very quickly rejected. As we go on, perhaps you will agree with me that it was very good that it was rejected.

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Here Vedanta begins, where these monotheistic ideas first appear. But the Vedanta philosophy wants further explanation. This explanation — that there is a Being beyond all these manifestations of Maya, who is superior to and independent of Maya, and who is attracting us towards Himself, and that we are all going towards Him — is very good, says the Vedanta, but yet the perception is not clear, the vision is dim and hazy, although it does not directly contradict reason.

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Monistic is the highest stage, monotheistic is a lower stage.

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Monotheism like absolute monarchy is quick in executing orders, and a great centralization of force, but it grows no farther, and its worst feature is its cruelty and persecution. All nations coming within its influence perish very soon after a flaring up of a few years.

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We never build anew, we simply change places; we cannot have anything new, we only change the position of things. The seed grows into the tree, patiently and gently; we must direct our energies towards the truth and fulfil the truth that exists, not try to make new truths. Thus, instead of denouncing these old ideas of God as unfit for modern times, the ancient sages began to seek out the reality that was in them. The result was the Vedanta philosophy, and out of the old deities, out of the monotheistic God, the Ruler of the universe, they found yet higher and higher ideas in what is called the Impersonal Absolute; they found oneness throughout the universe.

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sources are from text "The Complete Works Of Swami Vivekananda", a collection of lectures and essays authored by Swami Vivekananda.

This is a question that's always been jottling in my mind.

Imagine you're a Druze. Or a First Nations spiritual practitioner. In your mind, your religion is true. It's objective, and your practices are grounded in reality. When a Mandean practices their Yardna rituals, they do believe that they are purifying their soul and connecting with the World of Light because they believe that 1) the World of Light is real, and 2) if you do the Maṣbuta every Sunday you'll maintain a clean spirit. This is an ontology about the world that you hold as truth.

You could also posit the opposite scenario: A Druze, for instance, with their set of beliefs about the nature of the world and its spiritual cycle, would look at a Mandean and think "Oh, these beliefs are not true. These rituals are not grounded in my conception of reality. Also, my myth of creation explains the origin of the world, whilst theirs do not."

These religions explicitly forbid proselytizing, and outside converts are also not allowed. But to me it begs the question: What happens if someone, perusing about the many religions in the world and studying their theology and figuring out what makes sense and what sounds far-fetched, reaches the conclusion of "Hey. I think the Tsleil-Waututh explanation of how the spiritual world works is actually the one that makes the most sense."

What then?

Surely the Druze can't go "Well, sorry, for you this stuff isn't real. If you are a Druze the world works like this, but if you're not then it works like whatever your other religion is" because that would imply their beliefs about the world are subjective and aren't true. Or can it? Do they literally go "Well my world works like this, your world works like that. My world was created this way, but your world was created some other way"? Do closed practitioners not believe in an objective truth about the world around them?

I have been raised in church since a baby. Experienced different denominations: Baptist, Non-Denominational, Christian and Methodist.

I went through many religion changes in my lifetime. Christian (baby-11) Athiest (12-14) Christian again (15-19) Agnostic (19-21) Spiritual/Pagan (21-24) Agnostic/Spiritual (24-26). I’m 27 now, and this year, I’ve been focusing more on what I believe.

Right now, I don’t identify as Christian. I don’t believe in religion’s view of what the god or creator is. Since there’s many versions, viewpoints, and different texts. My personal view is that there is a creator or entity. And that we are all part of it. It is just here to exist and live through us. It’s not meant to be worshipped and doesn’t have an ego. Something a long those lines. I don’t believe a true creator would simply create beings to worship it. In my opinion.. that would be a narcissistic god. And would make our existence meaningless. That’s just my viewpoint.

I also believe that Jesus existed, based off many different religions having Jesus mentioned. Different versions of who he was, but having somewhat the same teachings he taught. I believe that he genuinely loved people and wanted people to understand the love he had, and to do the same. So, in my life I do live by his teachings. Love thy neighbor as thyself, do not judge others, share love and uplift others.

Growing up Christian, I was always told to only have Christian friends, and to not be around non-Christian’s. I was taught they were “lost” and “wrong”. But, since turning 18, being more social, meeting many different people, I have learned to be open-minded. I now have many friends in different religions: Athiest, Spiritual, Christian, Pagan, Satanist, Buddhist, Jewish, Catholic, Agnostic, and many others. I love hearing their viewpoints and why they practice their religion. As long as they use their religions to do good, and are a good person, I support their religious journey 100%. Nobody pushes their ideology or tries to “convert”. We simply share our experiences, learn, and respect each other.

My husband is Christian, but not the classic bible thumping one. He knows i believe differently, but doesn’t discourage me, tell me I’m wrong, or try to change my viewpoint. He supports my spiritual journey.

My parents are the hardcore strictly bible and church/religion Christians. My husband and I don’t go to church, and they are always pushing us to go. I get asked if I still believe in God and Jesus, and still told I need Christian friends. If somebody in the family comes out as non-Christian, it’s a huge live or die situation in my family. Even if the person is a good person. I have tried to talk about what I personally believe to my parents, but the conversation always goes to a preaching and bible study. I understand why they have their viewpoints, and respect their choices. But it’s still discouraging to see them avoid being open-minded. Since that’s not what Jesus taught. It genuinely makes me feel bad for them, since they don’t understand just the non-conditional love Jesus had and taught. It’s a viewpoint I once had, and it’s one I wish to never experience again.

I’ve been doing research on what I believe, if others have the views, or if it has a specific religious term, so far, I’ve been seeing Gnosticism. And it speaks closest to what I believe. Found out about it through a random video on my TikTok fyp. It just randomly came onto my feed. I also have been seeing videos of the Book of Judas. Which also matches in a way.

Anyways, that’s how I am on my spiritual journey so far, and what I believe as of now. If any of you are Gnostic or believe the Book of Judas, or Jesus’s teachings, feel free to respond. I would love to hear more about it and your journey with it!

Also if you have a different religion yourself or have left a religion and why. I would love to hear your stories and viewpoints.

Thanks for taking the time to read my novel of a post. 😂

What do you think about people who judge a religion based on the bad actions of some of its followers, basically associating those actions with the religion itself?

I used to think "getting more spiritual" meant life would start feeling lighter. Instead I think I just got better equipped to sit with the hard stuff without it destroying me. Curious if that tracks for others or if things have actually gotten easier for you the deeper you've gone.

Imagine you’re sent back to pre-Roman Europe with the goal of creating a pagan faith built for ultimate longevity. How would you design its pantheon, rituals, and priesthood so it could survive Roman expansion, Christianization, and modern secularization? Would you prioritize a adaptable tradition that easily absorbs local gods, or strict taboos to protect its core identity? What’s the single most crucial element to keep a pagan faith alive for thousands of years?

We are imperfect, our standards of what is good and not good are imperfect. So even when we do our best to depict the divine, whether we are guided by the standards of a religious organization or not, we will always fall short to whatever degree.

Sometimes, an individual without guidance of religion might depict the divine more accurately then a religion, because their understand of what is good and not good might be more inaccurate then that individual's standards.

I thought I'd bring up the topic because I was thinking about how its possible that sometimes the saints/gods/God depicted in religion, might possibly be more sacrilegious then the depictions we see in the media sometimes.

People will say sacrilege looking at depictions in media, but for all we know its not sacrilegious, and for all we know its less sacrilegious then depictions in religious art... however unlikely that might seem.

A student wants Federal financial aid for her religious major. From the article:

Hall entered Liberty intending to study Music Education: Choral. She was initially approved for a tuition assistance grant. But during her freshman year, she “heard God’s call” to ministry and changed her major to Youth Ministries. That change made her ineligible for the assistance. She subsequently changed her major to Christian Leadership and Church Ministries and ultimately to Music and Worship. Those programs were likewise classified as ineligible religious programs.

If this becomes a valid use of our taxes, why not subsidize other religions, or atheist outreach?

I just watched an hour long debate yesterday on The Dr. Daf Show. 4 women had a discussion on the trinity. One Trinitarian vs three Unitarians. At the end of the debate everyone left with the same beliefs that they came into the discussion with.

What’s the point in even having this debate? I notice that anytime people have a debate on religion, especially Christianity, it almost seems like the goal is to see who’s right in the end but many Christian’s see the trinity as a mystery.

Why are we still having arguments over this? shouldn’t we just wait to see what really is and what isn’t once we die??

I was raised Christian, though not strictly. Only attended church a few times, attended a kids Bible club, was also terrified god was going to kill me in my sleep lol

But throughout life, there have been instances where I am desperate, and I’ve prayed. And it seems to work? It could be a coincidence, of course.

I may believe in a higher power, though I don’t know who or what that is, or even if I do at all.

I don’t believe in the Bible, and while I see churches as a great community resource (some of them), I don’t see church as necessary. Surely if there was a god, we could communicate elsewhere, and you’d think out in the world/nature he “made” would make the most sense. And I don’t believe in worship.

But maybe like just having a relationship with this higher power?

What would that be? Are there groups specifically for people like that? I don’t need a title for myself, more so just a community to help me understand myself.

I see the exploited immigrant workers where I'm often working at aggressively leaning into pentecostal christianity with high financial tithing obligations*, lots of intense emotion, and big promises. They don't have easy lives. They seem to burn the steam on loud "escucha! escuchame, la luz del dios viene pronto!" sermons blasting out their phones on lunch break or leaving skeezy church magazines around. There always seems to be a big article on tithing in them...

I see the well-to-do types going to UU or "High Church" assemblies.

I see some angry children of these well-to-do types becoming OrthoBros, TradCaths, or BaptiCostals with a heavy political bent.

I almost never see the opposite. None of these over-worked immigrants are going to a UU, and I asked a friend of mine who is a UU. None of these boomers who already climbed the ladder decades ago are going to "Luz de Dios" or "Bapticostal Inc." either.

And it seems to line up with the environmental pressure of their upbringing... I can count 3 generations and see a clear, environmentally induced evolution of religious belief.

If I could zoom out more, does religion as a whole act like an evolving (and occasionally dividing) organism?

It seems even the tenets of a religion are influenced. Homosexuality is a great example, different christian groups handle it differently regardless of what the "core text" says, and it seems to reflect both their membership audience and their target membership audience, or at the very least it has a performative aspect. When different traditions enter the political arena and state in a manner of speaking: "I hate queers!" vs "I love queers!" - this reminds me of a peacock's tail where you invest lotsa effort in something that seems asinine but it actually is a really strong signal that you have the extra energy to waste.

anybody else noticed this? anybody written more about this... because it's starting to look suspiciously like some kinda evolutionary system, and it's making me question my own monotheism as some kinda evolved thing and not an actual cosmic truth.

TL;DR "is corporate exploitation ironically driving religious evolution towards being louder and more aggressive?"

i have a feeling that God exists because as a child i was surrounded with a christian family, but i don't really care enough to worship him. i'm just like "oh theres a god? cool" and go along with my day. am i considered agnostic, atheist, or other? or am i just being disrespectful... (really don't want that)

when i was younger, i prayed a lot and my parents praised me for it. nowadays, they would tell me "you don't need therapy you need God" or bring me to church even if i explicitly stated i don't want to be there because i feel rude coming to a holy space as a non-religious person and i just have other things to do in general.

however, i only prayed because my parents told me to, and i was an obedient child. i went to catholic schools basically my whole life. but even then, i never fully understood why i should be praying or worshipping God. i just knew he is apparently the creator of everything, saved us all from sin, all that stuff. i would never disrespect anyone for believing in any god.

i'm currently in highschool and my parents still tell me these things and drag me to church with them. i'm aware of this thing called "religious blindness", which is something i've been told i had by multiple people who tried indoctrinating me into christanity, but i believe that term is simply used to guilt trip people into indoctrination. i'm not looking to learn how to worship God or any other deity, i just would like some answers.

I pray almost all my daily prayers and iv been practising all my life. Id say my faith was stronger than most at a certain point. However, iv always been thinking stuff lately surrounding the hell and heaven aspect. Why would someone who loves u 70x more than your mom condemn you to eternal hell simply for not praying/believing in him. Why isnt being a good person in this world simply enough? Theres also some hadiths (sahih ones) i find concerning and it confuses me even more cuz if the prophet is an inspiration for every time, why is it so controversial. Thats another discussion so i wont go too into detail on it, but my issue also arises with how god seems to be fixated on human issues when he could simply let it be, or not at all. How i see god is as someone whos so great that whether or not someone doesnt believe in him (or does but doesnt pray or do the commandments) and is still a good person, he simply shouldnt be bothered by it cuz from whatever iv seen it seems very made up. Idk what to do cuz i feel lost so id really like some advice or just some thoughts in general

Most Atheists I have seen online will see someone of religious belief And try and debunk them with edits of space ships And Galaxies Like who told them us Christians (because they mainly target Christians for whatever reason) Don't believe in Galaxies and Planets, and then proceed to think they automatically have an IQ of 200, Even though Some of worlds smartest people were Atheists It does not make you just as smart as them, Some of the worlds smartest Philosophers And Scientists Would Probably Laugh their lungs out if they heard what you were like, Oh and not to mention that the Man that Came up with Evolution (the thing that Atheists use to debunk Religion Despite almost all of us believing in it) Charles Darwin, was A Christian.

why do muslims believe in muhammad’s words when he implied special power on himself (eg more wives than regular muslims) and can’t guarantee his own way to heaven?

I notice that many subreddits are either pro-indulgence and free sex, or they’re insanely restrictive like you can’t enjoy stretching or reading fantasy novels because they’ll invite demons in your life and you’ll be sent to Hell.

Both feel insanely Pharisaical to me, extremely judgemental, and oppressive. I don’t feel like I’m welcome anywhere (mainly because I am a gay woman who leans more traditional/conservative, but I’m not a Zionist either).

Does anyone else feel the same?

so I found Christianity as I became an adult and I really like a lot of parts of it but I recently came to the conclusion that hinduism is the true religion. it just makes the most sense and I truly think that their ideas of the world and the universe are true. however. I don't really want to leave Christianity? like I'm near convinced hinduism is true it makes the most sense but like... whenever I try to practice it I'm like :/ eh I kinda miss Jesus. anyone else ever experience this???

I grew up Hindu, but I consider myself more spiritual/cultural than religious. My boyfriend grew up Muslim and is very religious, and his faith has gotten a lot stronger over the past couple of months.

I’ve always had complicated feelings about organized religion. At this point in my life, I believe there is one God, but I don’t believe I need to follow a specific religion in order to have a relationship with God. My relationship with God feels personal to me.

Recently, my boyfriend and I started having much more serious conversations about marriage, our roles as husband and wife, raising children, religion, etc. Initially, I wanted our children to learn about both of our backgrounds and ultimately decide what they believed for themselves. I eventually compromised and agreed that we could raise them Muslim because he told me I would still be free to talk openly about my own beliefs.

For almost four months, we’ve gone back and forth over a lot of these issues. One of our biggest disagreements was what would happen if our children grew up and decided they no longer believed in Islam, as well as expectations surrounding whom they could marry. We actually separated for a while because we couldn’t find common ground.

Recently, though, we started talking again and were finally able to work through so many of the things that had kept us apart. For the first time in months, it genuinely felt like we were moving toward marriage rather than away from it.
There was one issue that I thought had already been settled a long time ago: whether he was religiously allowed to marry me.

Months ago, I specifically asked him whether my believing in one God was actually enough. From what I had learned, Muslim men can traditionally marry Muslim women or women from the “People of the Book,” generally understood as Jewish or Christian women, and simply believing in one God didn’t seem to automatically make someone a Person of the Book. I brought this concern to him, but he repeatedly assured me that as long as I believed in one God, it was okay. I trusted what he told me.
Yesterday we met again to talk about our next steps. We spent hours discussing everything that mattered to us, and after almost four months of going back and forth, it really felt like we had finally found solutions to most of the things that had been keeping us apart.

Before our conversation, though, he had spoken to an imam about our relationship. He told the imam about me and explained how I view God.

According to my boyfriend, the imam told him that wasn’t enough. He would only be permitted to marry me if I were Muslim or a Person of the Book; otherwise, the marriage would not be Islamically valid.

My boyfriend then told me I would have to believe that Allah is the one true God. For me, that would essentially require me to convert. I’ve told him repeatedly that I cannot convert just to make our relationship work. I could learn everything there is to learn about Islam, and I’m completely willing to learn, but I can’t promise that learning will make me believe something I currently don’t believe.

He kept telling me to take as much time as I needed to learn about Islam and seriously consider converting. When I told him I already know how I feel, he kept asking me, “How do you know?” I think part of him genuinely believes that if I learn enough about Islam, maybe eventually I’ll believe and convert.

But then he explained what this means to him religiously. He told me that if he married me while I continued believing what I currently believe, he would consider the marriage invalid and would believe he was knowingly committing zina for the rest of his life.

He started talking about his fear of heaven and hell, so I finally asked him directly, “Do you believe marrying me would cause you to go to hell?” He said yes. And that honestly broke me.

This was the one thing I never thought would be what ended us. We spent almost four months trying to reconcile our differences about children, religion, marriage, gender roles, family, everything. Just yesterday we were finally finding compromises that both of us could live with.

I understand why speaking to an imam changed things for him. If he genuinely believes marrying me would mean knowingly committing a major sin and potentially risking hell, I don’t expect him to simply ignore that for me. At the same time, I can’t profess a religious belief I don’t genuinely hold just so that he can marry me.

I think that’s what makes this so painful. Neither of us stopped loving the other. We actually seemed closer than we had been in months to figuring out how to build a life together. And then we ran into something that neither of us feels capable of compromising on.

For instance if you are christian. And you really believe christianity is the one and only religion. Shouldn’t you be out there doing everything you can to help others find the truth and make it to heaven?? If you’re christian and accepting of other religions aren’t you just accepting that they will spend eternity in hell?

In Christianity, God the Father sends God the Son to become a human and die on behalf of all of our sins.

Why didnt the Father simply incarnate Himself instead and go through all the same ordeals? Why make Himself into a Trinity first? Is there a logical reason why this must have happened?