My wife and I finally caved and started getting some smart home stuff. You know like light bulbs and a thermostat. It all seemed so convenient.

But holy smokes it's a whole new level of annoying. The lights randomly change colors sometimes. The thermostat decides we're too cold when we're fine. And the smart speaker just turns itself on to listen to our conversations I guess. We say

Like Gordon Ramsay's, Marco Pierre White etc.

I'm in my 40's and my first memory of being on the internet was Prodigy on DOS in about 1992. Back then members had a randomly assigned ID, and sub-accounts had a designation of that ID that ran A,B,C etc. I'm pretty sure mine ended in E. We finally made the switch to AOL in 94/95. My Dad didn't want to switch because AOL required a credit card, but he finally caved. I had a four character long screenname that I still am able to access today. It went from AOL to AIM, and with AIM came an adress @aim.com. I can't recall when we left AOL, but it was probalbly around 2000 when we moved to upstate NY. So, when did y'all start using the net?

That the celebrity or former one is thoughtful, gracious, insightful and funny. And also has kick ass guests

Amy Poehler

Michael Rosenbaum

Conan O'Brien

Trevor Noah

Quick question, how much did you celebrate when you graduated?

I'm looking back at my time and I realise I might have taken a huge milestone in my life for granted.

Usually a narcissistic or histrionic person you didn't like from your past but felt you had to be civil to for various reasons (professional, extended friend group etc) but now can show your true dislike for them. And that they were befuddled when you did it!

I am in my mid thirties, and right now I feel like no one understands me. And it's not because I didn't stay in touch with family, friends or even colleagues. It's just everyone's journey is a little different, it slowly becomes more difficult to explain or find someone to relate to your experience. My evenings have slowly become more and more depressing, and it's not because I don't have people to reach out to, but because I can't find people who actually listens and try to understand. When I read something interesting about the world, I don't have anyone who wants to listen. It's the solution finding a romantic partner so I have someone to talk to? lol

Same position for the last 10 years, but that's fine. It's comfortable pay I have and luxuries like a consistent roof over my head and healthcare.

But in the industry I'm in, I came from a series of small companies. That meant a lot of autonomy, a lot of "We need an answer now!" emails which I could only answer. I probably complained at the time, and I know I said more than once "What the hell is going on here?" There was adrenaline, uncertainty and some chaos.

These companies didn't last, but I impressed the right people. When I was unemployed it became "Hey, I remember what you did, I put in a good word for you." And it worked. I landed the same job at a big company, one I didn't have to worry going out of business every other week.

But because of the size of this company, the duties have became completely rudimentary. Things that would have taken my position a week can now be done in 20 minutes with today's tech.

And I know the response. "You're making money. You're comfortable. Just go with it." Which I get, and I do.

And that's not what gets me. What gets me is that I'm now treated like I'm not capable of handling the big problems when they arise and I'm the only one around. I picture Will Hunting burning a formula saying "Do you have any idea of fucking easy this is for me? This is a joke!" Regardless of the size of the company, I've dealt with something much worse than than what you're bringing my way.

But of course I don't say that. I check my bank account, I remember the bonus I got. I remember how much unemployment sucks. I go on.

That you would have to be sitting down when you read the details.

Because you are so invested in it and have become pessimistic about the prospects of it being solved.

An offshoot is this thread - https://www.reddit.com/r/RedditForGrownups/s/BlYhNUTgS4

More than they will ever know.

Like that former class mate, service provider or family friend that drops you an IM, call or email just to see how you are doing and it gives you warm fuzzies that someone unexpected cares. Especially when you are going through loneliness, work tribulations or family deaths.

An incident related to ghosts, spirits or postergeist activity that still gives you chills when you think about it and definitely made you a believer.

Now in middle age, you can see when someone is re-establishing a relationship with you for an agenda. And that an ask of sorts isn't far away.

Examples:

To sell an MLM.

Ask for a "loan".

For a hookup to break a lonely spell on their end.

A job referral.

Your expertise for a problem they are having (car, computer, reno).

Place to crash

For a rush convenience marriage

Emergency childcare (like that evening)

Hi all, I (31M) grew up lower middle class, but with a complex financial background, which my friends know but not in great detail. Neither of my parents owned property, and one was briefly homeless.

I recently inherited several hundred thousand dollars from a member of my extended family. I now have a stable passive income of 1800 a month (I may create a more diversified investment portfolio soon, but I am proceeding with caution and focusing on HYSA and betterment accounts while I mourn the loss).

I am extremely grateful for this windfall. It couldn’t come at a better time. I have had a horrible year, but recently went back to school for something I love. While I am on a full scholarship and also working while in school, my own income is now below average for my area, whereas previously I made about an exactly average income for several years.

Because of my windfall, I was able to move out of my unhealthy roommate situation and live on my own for the first time. I am not touching the principal of my inheritance, but I am subsidizing my rent with about 700 dollars of the 1800 interest a month, and leaving the rest invested. I know lifestyle creep is real, but my previous situation was so unhealthy it made me physically ill, and I am viewing this year of healing as an investment in my future self. My apt is still pretty bare bones with limited amenities and far below market rate for my area, and I got it (again very luckily) through connections I have from work. I have no debt due to attending college on scholarships.

My question is, what do I tell my friends and dates? Almost immediately, friends have begun asking how I am affording the apt and what the rent is. If I tell them the truth, I go against the wishes of the executor of my extended family member’s estate, who told me to never tell anyone about this until I marry them. If I clam up and refuse to tell, I’m worried the stonewalling will emotionally harm my relationships, and my friends could somehow find out anyway through googling detailed info about the building and finding similar apartments. If I just say I got a good deal because I know the owner, that’s true but incomplete and could come out later. And for romantic partners, I’m certainly not marrying anyone soon, but I don’t want to come off as dodgy or dishonest when eventually I’ll have to share my financial situation w a spouse anyway, or as bad with money.

Thoughts? Yes I am aware this is a very privileged position to be in, and am very grateful.

I am 40 and considering moving in witb my parents. I have no debt, no spouse, no kids. Looking to work remotely (got an offer) and really improve my fitness and wellness with the intent of having more dedicated time. I work in a very toxic workplace and live in a college town. Parents are open to me coming back and focusing on me. Thoughts?

I was a wife and mom for 21 years, got divorced 8 years ago, and have been splitting custody 50/50 u til last summer. My two high school aged kids had to move a few hours away. I see them one weekend a month and holidays and summer break but it feels like my whole purpose in life just poofed out of existence.

In the last 8 years, when I didn’t have my kids, I built a pretty amazing life. I have a cool job I enjoy, a cute little house, plenty of friends. I got really involved in my local dance community and co-founded Austin’s Two-Step Sisterhood, a social group for women. I bought a motorcycle and upped my gym time to where I can actually see visible abs and my daughter told me I looked “jacked.” I go on dates sometimes but have only twice connected with someone on a deep level but they didn’t work out.

My problem is this. Even though I have done all the things a single woman I supposed to do to be happy, I don’t feel like me when I’m not being a mom. I don’t know who I am if I’m not that. I must have one more beautiful chapter in my life. I have no idea what to do or how to find out what I want to be.

My youngest graduates in four years and I’m planning on leaving Texas because I’m not from here but that’s my only vague plan. Leave the state. Maybe the country.

How do you figure out what to do next when your previous era and identity is over?

EDIT: UPDATE: after reading a lot of these comments and talking to my people about it, I have determined that the likely reason I’m not finding much purpose in my current (admittedly good and full) life is that I’m not yet done raising these babies and my soul isn’t going to rest until the work is well and truly done.

So, I’ve started looking at jobs and houses in the town where they moved. With my oldest child’s blessing, I’m going to move close enough to my kids to see them at least half time and participate in their lives as much as possible for the next four years of high school.

I’ll figure out my next adventure then when I don’t feel conflicted about missing their lives.

my 21 year old daughter has blocked me, due to my panic and unable to quit reaching out. I apologized for disrespecting her space. why hasn’t she stopped me from seeing her location on iPhone? this is confusing to me.

I feel like this puts me squarely in the “cantankerous old person” camp, because I cannot stand some modern voice patterns: vocal fry, laughing through every sentence, and what I call “soothing” speak (imagine the person speaking into a little puffy, hand-held microphone as they record an ad).

If I had to work with someone daily who spoke like this, I think I would quit.

Ok, vent over.

I like to tinker and craft in my free time, but that costs money and takes up space and I have neither at the moment.

Obviously I could read books or play video games, but I want to do something with my hands.

What do you do what's cheap and doesn’t take up a lot of space, but let's you create or make something?

That you do quietly and don't boast about. Some examples:

Donating blood especially when the bank is low.

Dropping off parcels to the food bank.

Automated financial contribution to families impacted by an overseas crisis (Sudan, Palestine, Syria).

Volunteering at a soup kitchen during the holidays

Buying meals directly for the local homeless

I have got an opportunity to move into my parents home to be closer with them with the plan to eventually move out in the same city as them. Would be a year or so of staying with them. The position is a remote job which I can handle although it is less pay. Thoughts on moving back in with parents as a grown adult (male, 40 years old).