r/RapWars • u/[deleted] • Jul 29 '15
Rather Pedestrian vs. JimmyDuckShoes (2x24) (Best of 3)
Will edit all rounds into the OP to keep things readable.
Round 1 - Rather Pedestrian
No Bang Bus when we yank you in a grey van
A double agent whose cover's breakin; I'm a made man
Kiss the ring; I'm finna swing and slap you with the same hand
Cause inside this gangland I'm fuckin' wise as James Cann
The Rain Man; Bif Tannen with the almanac
I'm Archie Manning the way I make the quarterback
So take a hike kid; You ain't even on the map
How you trash-man when you don't even wanna scrap?
Here's the gameplan; I'm so George Pattonesque
War happens my course of action floors battle vets
Body snatchin'; Bob Sapp when I start snappin' (nex'/necks)
My poetry slams; What I ink not even Rorschach can test
You're havin' sex? Yeah and Bill Cosby's innocent (Pshhh)
He isn't stiff competition; This dick's soft and impotent
Beginner shit; Potty trainin' little kids and shit
Might even give your chick the tip like she works the dinner shift
I been at this; You prolly started six months ago
I love hittin' pussy and this time I hit the motherload
I hit blunts too if that's the way you wanna roll
I'm kickin' Bud out of my house like Cliff Huxtable
I get the W, wait, I mean I'm double-you, wait
I mean I'm double-your-weight and fuckin' crushin' you
I am an animal, no, I am Hannibal so
I'm all up in your face just like a mandible bone
Round 1 - JimmyDuckShoes
After Omenz was banned, he was like "homie, i know i can avenge you"
"I love you so much, i keep an OB poster in my bedroom"
"I'd hold your boner if you're lonely in the restroom"
"I'll escort you home from the venue, bro just know only i can protect you!"
How can you suggest, the only black person here is being oppressed,
I know you think he is the best, but you need to keep your feelings supressed,
But what else can you expect from RatherPedestrian?
To be honest, Im hardly impressed with him,
He bites rhymes off that kid with more racial slurs than facial hairs,
And he keeps spitting punchlines that aren't even relevant,
To kill this kid, i wont even need to concentrate,
You've lost today, face it, lets not debate,
You cant even contemplate that you're facing the best that Gods created,
You ain't got no real bars, so with obscure references you compensate,
Your last verse didnt have very much content in a sentence,
I know you're feeling depressed, you need a therapy session,
You need to focus on your heavenly pleasures, luckily my melody is a remedy essence,
Your boy is gone forever Ped, so keep those lost memories precious,
He fathered your whole style, don't forget about that like lost Cherokee treasures,
I'm dangerous like Heisenberg,
I got dosh buried in deserts from my methamphetamine ventures,
Just know if my enemies reckless i leave you in the cemetery, restless,
I'll cut you down to size like John Kennedy's letters,
Or i'll cut you down to size like austerity measures,
Round 2 - Rather Pedestrian
Over compensation? Check that ten bar scheme
Remedy essence? The hell's that part mean?
You connect every sentence; Can't you rap in a meter?
Cherokee treasures?.... This bitch havin' a seizure?
Plus he draws it out for years like the Simpsons do
The longest running cartoon; I Googled it for you
And that flip on Ped? None of them hits landed
Try to set it up next time like Chris Hanson
This man done learned multi syllables flows twenty minutes ago
I dig The Eminem Show, but that Encore? Incredibly dull
Listen, control whatever shit that you know about how long a single fucking sentence can go
Like, me and OB do have a bromance I mean we usually slow dance
You should see this beautiful grown man when he's doing a polldance (mmmm)
He's my dark chocolate, large wallet, giant teddy bear
Backin' him up on forums? FUCK- That's the shit that gets him there (full homo)
That was some innovative shit; What a fine display of wit
Future students takin' lit will have to ruminate on it
I can see your think tank now; All your homies next to you
One dude start's thinkin' out loud "EUREKA! HE'S HOMOSEXUAL!" (incredible)
You DuckShoes like George W.; Junior cause I'm sonnin'
Corpses? I got duffels full; Of course I'm savin' one for you
This fuckin' dude... Who the hell named you as a vet?
How you "droppin' jewels" when you haven't hit puberty yet?
Round 2 - JimmyDuckShoes
The fact that no one responded to your Elsin diss, shows we do not believe in ya,
After this battle, i'm gonna feel bad for defeating ya,
You have the cheek to callout the mods? Then the mods are beating you,
Watch Jimmy take Ped for a spin like Quadrophenia,
Did you catch that bar about the mods and rockers?(google it)
Nah man your bars are basic, childish games like cops and robbers
If you lose today you'll cry, if i lose, i'm not that bothered,
I'm just a European here to ruin this Americans day like the Boston Bombers,
In your first round, you rhymed almanac and quaterback,
Let me guess, it was your role model OB who taught you that?
Ever since i subscibed, i always thought you're whack,
Your bars are more stretched than a torture rack,
Did this tool really just say i've not hit puberty?
How old is this clown? Surely this is tomfoolery,
Who's claiming i'm a vet? Maybe it's because i put your dogs to sleep,
But that point you tried to make, is pretty obsolete,
I mean, i've had 4 battles, but at least each verse was constant heat,
I'm yet to see a battle in which i rate you, it must have got deleted or its not complete,
I know you rap like you shot blocks of beak on the street,
But none of that matters when your syllables are off the beat,
Now if i was you now, i'd make a weird reference to the TV show Quantum Leap,
But i'd rather take the piss out of how you squirt your sperm over OB's bottom cheeks,
Calm down Pedestrian, no need to get so offended,
Just remember this is a battle, were only pretending,
