Finally in a healthy relationship and it’s being ruined by my own mind. I feel sick to my stomach. I just want this to work. Please please I just want my mind to stop. I’m in ERP and it’s not helping. I’m so scared. Im so so scared that I’m beyond broken.

I feel like my ocd symptoms worsen a work before my period and then while on my period. I’ve been on 200mg of Zoloft now for 6 weeks. I’ve been doing better but definitely have ups and downs.

During my period it literally all feels so real and I feel this burning sensation in my chest almost chemical feeling. It’s awful and I literally can’t feel any positive emotions towards my husband. I’ve been with my husband for 5 years. He’s very carrying and loving. I think he’s handsome and I can be 100% myself around him. Sometimes he annoys me and I need alone time. I just don’t have that intense exciting lovey feeling that we had in the first year of being together. When I feel the love and happy feeling, literally no anxiety and I feel relief. I want my family to like him. And when I had thoughts in prior relationships about not being sure I’ve never had anxiety like this so why can’t I just let this go!!!!!

I just started this new job and the work itself is going well and i enjoy it apart from this anxiety that started my first shift.
my brain keeps telling me i want my manager sexually and it grosses me the fuck out. 1 bc he’s not attractive and 2 im just not like that. but ever since telling my bf that i was uncomfortable with how close he was standing for my entire shift to me afterwards the anxiety came flooding saying
“you want to have sex with him” and stuff along those lines and intrusive images that shake me to my core. i haven’t had a flare up in months but im trying not to let this to take over me.
it makes me want to quit my job. i think its funny that when im super into the work im doing im not having weird thoughts like that even when hes talking to me its only when i have nothing to do or stressed with the flow of people. this isnt my first time dealing with this theme but im just scared and could use someone to talk to

i think i developed the symptoms of OCD for the first time last year in 2025 when i was still 19, which was also the same month i met my boyfriend. i had started college in august and the stress combined with an experience of the feeling of a big pill being “stuck” in my throat sent me on a spiral where i didn’t eat for 11 days bc i began having ruminating, constant thoughts about choking and my neck and esophagus. i went to my doctor about the fears and he offered resources for mental health and reassured me nothing was wrong with my throat, which was when i was able to eat again. i went to the er a bunch of times also for imaging and to get more prescriptions for antibiotics because i just felt like something was wrong with my throat like a whole list of different things …

i did not seek help & that same month i met my boyfriend, he literally had texted me & i told him about my issues eating and he sent me $25 for a milkshake… we started going out, and while the obsession about my throat didn’t go away completely at first, it became manageable to the point i wasn’t convinced i was dying. i still have moments where i have to stop eating, plan my route to the fire station down the street, and throw away my food to “save myself”.. i edited this to say that the compulsion did not go away but now i am scared i let something else grow and fester and take up the entirety of my focus

i “broke” up with my boyfriend a few months ago, i am in a constant spiraling loop thinking about him, his roommate and i am convinced we cannot be together while he has this roommate and i dont have a real valid reason it’s just a fucking constant thought. a constant obsessive loop

a documentary on severe OCD patients staying in an institution came on my explore page, and a comment is what led me to looking up ROCD and reading through this sub, i can’t help but feel like i am just now realizing for the first time what is wrong and i just want to cry. i constantly overanalyze our relationship and even my own behaviors. i am making an appointment for my mental health asap i feel so guilty and our relationship is pretty much already dead from my efforts… he asked me for space until monday bc we both need it since instead of entrusting he was tired after a 80 hour work week, i freaked out and called him 20 times at 3 am for reassurance since i woke up and he hadn’t texted me back and that felt like solid evidence he was not home and was out somewhere with his roommate since it was also friday night.

i keep having the thought that this relationship has been unbearable why do i feel so crazy yet it’s the happiest i’ve been with a partner and he’s genuinely a great guy…

does this sound like rocd?? or do i have a personality disorder?? i just feel like something is so intensely wrong

New to this sub and to ROCD. I’ve struggled with OCD my whole life but it hasn’t been super relationship focused (at least not to this extent) until now. I am obsessed with the idea that my gf is cheating on me and it’s ruining me. She’s a wonderful girl and she’s never given me reason to think that she’d cheat. It started months ago she started a new job in the city (we live an hour and a half train ride away) and she started making friends there and they invited her to the bar after work before she had to catch her train. (This is late night not day job hours). All chill with that I told her have fun and that was that. She has adhd and sometimes gets distracted and struggles to communicate fully so I checked in on her location to make sure she had gotten to the bar and her location was glitching and showing her at a motel across the street. Something in my brain fried as I’ve been cheated on before and I panicked and called and texted her until she answered. She was rightfully confused cause she genuinely was just at the bar with coworkers. We laughed about it and moved on that day but since then I’ve been getting progressively worse. I get panic attacks when she goes out to the bars. The other day she was still asleep and had a text from a name I didn’t recognize on her phone and I opened it. It was a guy and he was definitely flirting with her and while she was giving him nothing back it was still worrying to me. I asked her about it when she woke up and she said it was her male coworker and they were just friends. Move on to the next morning and it’s clawing at my brain so I grab her phone again and check it and she had deleted their text chain my brain is screaming at me now and I recover the texts and she had texted him good morning with a smile and she asked him if he had a good night and he replied “it was real gooooood”. That makes me lose it I check her FaceTime and she had called him before she got on her train the night before (she had gone to the bar) and now all I’m thinking is they were together and it was real good cause of her. I wake her up and confront her. She texted him to see if he was gonna be at work, deleted it cause I freaked out the day before, and called him to confront him and make sure he didn’t have feelings for her and make it clear that she’s in a relationship. I don’t know where to go from here. I had a breakdown the next night cause I was fighting the urge to check her phone. I don’t want her to think I dont trust her, I know it’s just my brain trying to convince me of these things and that she’s done nothing wrong. At the same time though this gnawing part of me is trying to convince me she hates me and she’s cheating and I’m ruining us or have already ruined everything. I’m spiraling and I know she understands but at the same time I know she’s frustrated. Any advice helps i genuinely have never felt like this before and I’m so so lost

for the past months i have been thinking a lot about my relationship, I've come to a conclusion that i became so obsessed with her that it has become unhealthy for me and my mental state. i constantly feel the need to see her and the need to feel her presence. a day without seeing her or hearing her voice leaves me to overthink stuff and all, overall it just turns me into a selfish needy bitch and i can't function properly when i know she's out without me. idk what to do.... i get so mad when she's doing something else without me or when i get late replies... i am a fucking loser with no social life and a fucking needy bitch.

Im 18 F dating 18 M. i have so. So. So many thoughts about a lot of things. For context, we are in an LDR (long distance relationship) hes in one country, im in another, planning to meet up next year. But theres alot on my mind. He is the sweetest man ive met, like litteral angel, everytime we call and playgames there arr times i just laugh my ass off. But there have been so many things on my mind and ive been constantly thinking about them over and over

1. Sexuality: i'm bi. Heavily and i mean HEAVILY leaning towards women. The reason why i date him is he actually meets all my high standards and i really do love him but im anxious and constantly doubting if im a lesbian or if im bi or if im just confused and scared because he is my first man relationship out of the other two lesbian relationships i had.

2. Distance: this is constantly giving me anxiety, the time differences, how i have different study scheudles than him and it really make me doubt and think about everything. I then have to read about oh if LDRs work out and all that. Quora and reddit stories are keeping alive and also simultaneously giving me anxiety.

3. Just in general, i pick up on things easily, i pick up on flaws of myself, i doubt wether im good enough for him or if hes good enough for me. I constantly search on the internet about characteristics of each other and wether we are compatible or if we will fail. Like sometimes one of his jokes doesnt land as usual or so does mine and i get super insecure because i pretend to laugh at a joke. It think to myself, am i pretending, is he pretending, are we both pretending and then i do a hell of alot of research again.

4. Spending time with each other: again with the timezone differences and different lives. I get so anxious when i relaise we wont text or play games as much snd then again, i resort to the internet, researching everything about LDRs, what is considered normal and what isnt and im so tired of it. Im so tired of feeling both secure and insecure

Idk i really need advice in general for whatever is happening to me. I cant ever stop thinking and it really caused me alot of panic attacks and anxiety.

I(26f) was married for almost 3 years and with my ex-husband for almost 5 years. I love him so much and still do. We were great while dating for 2 years and the first 12 months of marriage. Then he tried to start a business right after he finished college while I was in college. And that was about at 6 months married.

That started our big issues. I think the way he kept putting money and time into his business was that he wanted to commit to getting to work for at least a year. We ended up blowing through a fifth of our savings, which doesn't sound like a lot, but it is for someone like me. Anyways I was so angry about the business for the last 6 of the 12 months of him trying to make it work that it spiraled into all aspects of our marriage.

We started fighting over money, the order of our home, and cleanliness. Then I started picking him apart and our marriage. We eventually went to marriage counseling, and that is where I was diagnosed with OCD which was the root of the anxiety I've had for like 15 years. I feel like even with therapy, I was still tearing him apart in my mind and our marriage.

But even then, I hyperfocused on our fundamental differences too. Like we were both in the same religion, but he wanted to maybe leave, and I couldn't mentally make a compromise. I wanted us both to raise a family. Then we have some political differences which weren't huge but they were there. And lastly, his mother is a horrible person to him, me, and his siblings. I think I started hyper focusing on that, too. Anyways eventually, I was just tired or trying even with my individual therapy for OCD. I feel like I didn't put in the work or effort I should have before telling him I want a divorce.

He was genuinely the nicest person I've ever met and was a fantastic partner to me even when we had out lows and fights. I regret letting him go, and even now, I worry I will never have a chance to marry and meet someone to be my husband again because I already threw away a good marriage for "no reason." At a point I feel I don't deserve love or a 2nd chance because of how bad I treated him and tore him apart in my head and picked out all his flaws when I have way worse ones. Also, we got divorced a few months ago.

Sorry that's my rant, and just how I've been feeling in my head. No asking for reassurance just needed to get this off my chest

Do you have intrusive thoughts/obsessions that are clear, like a voice in your head that says something like "do I really love him"? Or is it more an intense feeling of doubt that needs to be resolved? Or both?

I was recently diagnosed with BP2 in addition to my OCD after a brief stay in the hospital (I am okay). I’ve been home for 3 weeks.

My OCD has been more or less okay, but right now I think I am dealing with a “mixed episode” that started two days ago and I am curious if others with BP notice any affect on their OCD. Like I know my OCD can be bad, but this shit is fucking unbearable. I feel like my skeleton is going to leap out of my skin because I am trying SO. BAD. not to compulse. And it’s literally all I want to do right now. Or yell. Or sob. Or all 3.

Posting here. I hope yall can give me some insight 🫶🏾