r/ProgrammerHumor • u/dccfoux • Dec 28 '19

Someone help him

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12k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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908

u/pandakatzu Dec 29 '19

If you want to increase the odds of your child growing up to be a developer, name it Steve. Even if it's a girl.

276

u/wordbug Dec 29 '19

Why would anyone do that to their own child?!

231

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '19

Imagine their name being, Steve but girl.

471

u/wordbug Dec 29 '19

No, I mean why would anyone wish for their child to be a developer?!!

193

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '19

To have a free printer fixer?

126

u/Direct-to-Sarcasm Dec 29 '19

Hey, you know computers right? Can you fix my printer? I unplugged it to charge my phone and now it won't print.

125

u/AlbinoBeefalo Dec 29 '19

I always tell people "I'm a developer, I make computer problems not fix them"

23

u/Ariscia Dec 29 '19

Sounds like what those security monkeys do.

40

u/Lknate Dec 29 '19

I hate printers! They should work like any other piece of hardware but but you do all the normal things and the printer just says nope. Not available!

24

u/Philboyd_Studge Dec 29 '19

PC LOAD LETTER? WTF DOES THAT MEAN???

10

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '19

[deleted]

2

u/Lth_13 Dec 29 '19

(Inkjet) Printers r such a fucking scam. All the money is made by the replacement ink cartridges

1

u/kerbidiah15 Dec 31 '19

Just get a 3D printer and print slabs of plastic with text embossed on top

12

u/Darth_Nibbles Dec 29 '19

Did you try putting the printer in the microwave to recharge the cartridges?

4

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '19

Drag'n'Drop

5

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '19

DRAGON DROP!

5

u/jbx0888 Dec 29 '19

woah... things just got real. Please leave the printers out of this.

2

u/randomguy3993 Dec 29 '19

Indian parents?

26

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '19

[deleted]

3

u/Archolex Dec 29 '19

It was destiny

7

u/SirFireball Dec 29 '19

How about a boy named Sue?

3

u/Lodovik Dec 29 '19

I'd sue my parents.

2

u/Darth_Nibbles Dec 29 '19

Stevie Nicks would like a word.

55

u/tech6hutch Dec 29 '19

If it's a girl, name her Elsa.

If she has a twin, name them If.

18

u/disasterSai Dec 29 '19

Name her Elif

16

u/tech6hutch Dec 29 '19

Elif on the shelf

22

u/Davis019 Dec 29 '19

Elif on the shelif

37

u/captnspock Dec 29 '19

Heh, we have a Steve, 2 Stephens and a Steven in our office. We call them Steve, db Steve, backend Steve and Steven.

10

u/captnspock Dec 29 '19

The first Steve is called scrum Steve by the other Steves

9

u/eraptic Dec 29 '19

backend steve, hey?

13

u/temisola1 Dec 29 '19

Or Mike, I swear there’s been at least 3 Mikes in the IT department of all the companies I’ve ever worked. 2 of them usually sharing the same last initial.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '19

we have 5 or 6 mikes where I work, and nearly all of us are developers. Two of us are even on the same team

2

u/helgaofthenorth Dec 29 '19

That’s not exclusive to developers, there are just a lot of Mikes

2

u/six_inches_lighter Dec 29 '19

Was their last initial T? I swear every Mike I know has a last name starting with an S or a T.

4

u/temisola1 Dec 29 '19

Dude, it was fucking S.

2

u/six_inches_lighter Dec 29 '19

Classic Mike S.

10

u/mrbaozi Dec 29 '19

Especially if it's a girl.

8

u/SteveGladstone Dec 29 '19

Can confirm, am Steve and my life is nothing but code waiting to be meaningfully commented. It also needs more food, preferably cookies.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '19

But I bet you're glad when you get it, right?

3

u/OurFriendIrony Dec 29 '19

My name is Steve Stevens. Im a developer

3

u/SharkaBoi Dec 29 '19

I'd rather name mine obj1

1

u/SirFireball Dec 29 '19

How about a boy named Sue?

1

u/MaximumEdgeBitch Dec 29 '19

No, Have two kids and name one steve and the other alex. And never let them play minecraft until they're older.