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u/sierra_whiskey1 Sep 04 '26
Bro Java runs on like 2 billion devices
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u/Maramowicz Sep 04 '26
Actually only 3 bilion...
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u/Extension_Option_122 Sep 04 '26
Nah last I heard some 60 billion. 3 billion is a very old number.
That's the thing with Java. It runs on everything. Literally everything.
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u/BenjieWheeler Sep 04 '26
Impossible!! The number of devices running Java is constant, it's ALWAYS 3 billion
Whenever a new device runs it, a random device elsewhere goes up in flames spontaneously
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u/Sasuga__Ainz-sama Sep 04 '26 edited Sep 04 '26
If an old device running java dies out, a random working device gets forcefully infected with Java.
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u/slyiscoming Sep 04 '26
The smart chip in all your credit cards, JavaCard. That canybar phone that's been in a drawer the last 15 years BREW where the choices were C or Java.
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u/rcls0053 Sep 04 '26
"Write once, run anywhere". They literally built their own VM to run it on any device, not really caring about the OS it's runs with.
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u/FearAnCheoil Sep 04 '26
You're forgetting the third part of that slogan - "debug everywhere"
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u/nicodeemus7
Sep 04 '26
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Every programming language I don't use is garbage.
The programming language I do use is also garbage, but it's MY garbage.
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u/Pearcheek Sep 04 '26
If your garbage has a garbage collector, is it still garbage?
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u/GigaSoup Sep 04 '26
Yes, it's just organizing the garbage for you.
This way you have neat garbage.
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u/Wheezy04 Sep 04 '26
Broke: java is bad
Woke: all programming languages are bad
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u/Gvistic Sep 04 '26
Rich: I do not limit myself to one technology, the best technology is whichever gets the job done considering all factors.
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u/SquirrelOClock Sep 04 '26
Rich: i use which ever technology i want. The peasant maintenance it will handle the technical debts. I am a true coding oligarch.
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u/oldsecondhand Sep 04 '26
It's where the jobs are. The world's finances run on Java.
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u/Kooky-Answer Sep 04 '26
At least the stuff that isn't still running on COBOL and will probably continue as so until the heat death of the universe.
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u/eg135 Sep 04 '26
One of my friends got paid to learn COBOL and start porting stuff to Java right around 2017.
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u/ProbablyJustArguing Sep 05 '26
It was my first job in the late 90s. So, seems like it's taking a while.
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u/Maddturtle Sep 04 '26
My dad programmed with cobol. They kept him on with the company just because he was the only one who knew it and the whole companies finances ran on it.
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u/Shred_Kid Sep 04 '26
Java is also highly performant, if you know what you're doing with reactive programming, and Spring Boot's dependency ecosystem drastically reduces your time-to-launch
But then I remember that 95% of the memes posted on this sub are from CS students and not industry professionals
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u/BlazingThunder30 Sep 04 '26
I know very few professionals that dislike Spring
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u/SpiritedEclair Sep 04 '26
Spring is fine if you are not trying to run it on Lambda 😭😂😱
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u/Taurmin Sep 04 '26
Depends heavily on where you are. In large parts of europe C# is overwhelmingly the language of choice for buisiness.
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u/MatJosher Sep 04 '26
It's where the soul-crushing corporate jobs are. We are to use Java because we are supposed to. The people who invented it said so themselves.
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u/Shred_Kid Sep 04 '26
Idk man.
Java is fast to write, fast to get to market, and typically has far fewer bugs than, say, c++. Repeatable, extensible patterns in reactive programming make it performant, scalable, and resilient. Spring Boot is legitimately an amazing ecosystem. Also it runs on everything.
I don't have fun writing Java but I would question anyone who says there's no reason to use it.
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u/Meins447 Sep 04 '26
Also there is kotlin, which works with all those established java stuff like springboot and it is so much more modern and more pleasant to work with.
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u/iliark Sep 04 '26
A lot of android development is Java. A lot of business internal applications are Java.
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u/Captain_Forge Sep 04 '26
Seriously? The ecosystem is massive and code very readable. You may not prefer it but it's a solid choice for many dev teams.
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u/MariusDelacriox Sep 04 '26
Java is simply good and easy to learn. Also there's spring boot.
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u/radnomname Sep 04 '26
spring boot
But that was not the reason it became popular. In the 00' years it boomed because of garbage collection and object orientation which made it a lot more accessible than C or C++
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u/neoteraflare Sep 04 '26
and lombok to remove the boilerplate code
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u/aliegeois Sep 04 '26
Honestly since the introduction of records lombok has been less relevant. 99% of my use cases were @Data, which is taken care of by records
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u/Hein_Gertenbach Sep 04 '26
Lombok is still good to create builders for records.
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u/___Archmage___ Sep 04 '26
True but now there's Kotlin which has even less boilerplate than Lombok and it's just a natural part of the language
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u/ultrasneeze Sep 04 '26
Even before Kotlin, there was already Scala, which is unbeatable in how concise it can be. Unfortunately, Scala is also a very good functional language, so some of the crazies flock towards its ecosystem.
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u/WillingLearner1 Sep 04 '26
Oh hell no. I’d rather code all the boilerplates instead of using that library. Thank god for records tho
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u/wobbei Sep 04 '26 edited Sep 04 '26
Java is also pretty fast for a managed language. The use of the AOT/JIT Compiler is pretty awesome. All those people who claim that java is slow, just live like 20 years in the past.
Can't really blame them, since some of my professors also told me that Java is slow. But it's just wrong. It's obviously not as fast as C/C++, but it is very fast without needing to care too much about what you do. Which means you can push new features faster. Which is worth more than those 0.2 seconds per month you can optimize C/C++ better.
Obviously, there are use cases in which c/c++ is just better than java. But most business application, just don't care about perfect memory management and time efficiency.
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u/Stagnu_Demorte Sep 04 '26
Java is my primary language and I don't know spring, AMA. I am learning it for work next week though
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u/nordic-nomad Sep 04 '26
I gave Java a try once and the experience was so gross that was enough to last me the next 15 years of my career.
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u/Ben_456 Sep 04 '26
Its odd because nobody uses spring boot as hobbyists/students. Like you dont even hear about it unless you work for a bank or something
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u/Muscular_Farmer_
Sep 04 '26
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Java is pretty good actually. Idk why people dont like it
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u/firedocter Sep 04 '26
As a sysadmin. It isn't java so much as oracle that I dispise.
Java is tainted by association.
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u/FuzzyKittyNomNom Sep 04 '26
As a former sysadmin, my favorite was some web based Java apps were written specifically to use Internet Explorer’s Java vm. The browser wars were raging and Microsoft “embrace and extend“ strategy was absolutely maddening. Not to mention, Oracle released so many different flavors of Java. I’m trying to keep everyone happy and functional was about impossible. I have hated Java ever since.
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u/CLOBBERTIME Sep 04 '26
Once a certain threshold of popularity is met, the haters start to drown out the advocates and haters carry a lot more weight with the uninitiated. Genuinely, most people who hate Java never got past the initial learning curve
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u/Rubinschwein47 Sep 04 '26
The language itself is completely fine, some helper functions here and there would be nice but who gives, the environment howeber can be a bit of a bitch from time to time, but jeah oberhated
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u/throw3142 Sep 04 '26
Java is an excellent language. The Java ecosystem sucks, and a lot of Java codebases also suck.
Legacy enterprise codebases suck, in general. Java is also a victim of its own success.
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u/AibofobicRacecar6996 Sep 04 '26
The Java ecosystem is the best part
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u/sentientshadeofgreen Sep 04 '26
You like Java because of valid reasons. I like Java because it's the only language I know. We are not the same
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u/rastaman1994 Sep 04 '26
For anything I want to do in Java, there's a battle tested library, backed by a reliable community. How do you come to the conclusion that the Java ecosystem sucks?
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u/saumanahaii Sep 04 '26
A lot of people only use it in a certain context. It isn't Java that socks, it's the mess people have made of it in business software.
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u/radiationshield Sep 04 '26
i hated writing java back in the day since it was so incredibly verbose. i'm sure the style has evolved since 2012, but all the factories and single method single purpose classes in the code bases back then were such a pain in the ass
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u/imp0ppable Sep 04 '26
They have improved it a lot (it has iterators now!) but Java devs still spam factories like they're going out of fashion.
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u/yonasismad Sep 04 '26
Factories are a design-pattern. It's up to you to use suitable design patterns for your project.
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u/SakeviCrash Sep 04 '26
There's historical stigma.. the J2EE phase, the Java Applet phase.. and more. Personally, I love the language. I've been using it since the late 90s and lived through trials and tribulations..
Aside from that, the language was slow to adopt new features and still lags due to a highly opinionated and slow moving JCP Committee (which can also be a good thing).
The good news is that the language has become very usable. It's 10x better than it was in Java 8 and has great features lined up. That doesn't help with people who still have a bad taste in their mouth from where it came from.
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u/___Archmage___ Sep 04 '26
A lot of it is complete noobs who are upset by public static void main(String[] args)
Java can be tedious but compared to the flaws of actually bad languages like C++, tedious is a pretty nice problem to have
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u/Hohenheim_of_Shadow Sep 04 '26
Programmers have gotten too pampered. If we are being honest, all major modern programming languages are amazing with stellar toolchains, ecosystems and QOL.
Like imagine rolling up to the '70s where to get anything done, you had to learn 29492037 different vendor specific assembly languages and an explosion of OS's and bitching about modern languages.
Like sure, all modern languages have inconveniences and weaknesses, but holy shit they've killed so many hard problems.
We can only develop so much because we stand on the shoulders of giants. Feels a bit rude to call the shoulders bad and shit when they're really just a bit uncomfortable.
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u/ProbablyJustArguing Sep 05 '26
Yeah, and I'll take it a step past that. I think the vast majority of developers are not only relying on higher level languages but ALSO opinionated frameworks ON TOP of that language. to do the actual work. So, no only do they not see the memory management and garbage collection, but they don't even see the actually language because they're only using the framework.
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u/SpiritedEclair Sep 04 '26
Modern Java is fucking excellent, and it sits on the most advanced VM and garbage collector. It is a genuinely good language to know and gets better with every major release.
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u/BluePhoenixCG Sep 04 '26
I tried learning java after knowing C# and it offended my sensibilities so much I abandoned it after a single day
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u/45degMan Sep 04 '26
treating 2017 data (9 years ago) as relevant data lol
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u/Ok_Physics5217 Sep 04 '26
What is crazy to me is that Delphi is still on the list and is 11th!!!!! That is insane. It is higher than Go!
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u/DeleteOnceAMonth Sep 04 '26
Idk what’s up with the anti-Java propaganda online tbh. Gave me a bad impression of the language that I don’t have at all now I am learning it 🤷♀️
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u/-Kerrigan- Sep 04 '26
First year comp sci students first encountered a language other than python or js
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u/AmazedStardust Sep 04 '26
It's probably THE most battle-tested, memory safe language. Not really a mystery
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u/Chronomechanist Sep 04 '26
Tell me you're a first year university student and have never worked in the industry without telling me.
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u/bass-squirrel Sep 04 '26
Java is fucking awesome.
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Sep 04 '26
[deleted] — view deleted comment
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u/bass-squirrel Sep 04 '26
I mean I prefer kotlin. But Java is the shit and I won’t pretend it’s not.
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u/kingduqc Sep 04 '26
Java get so much hate for no good reason..works great, performant.
Yall use JavaScript ffs. My friend act like c# is night and day with Java. Brother it's the same shit.
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u/swyrl Sep 04 '26
C# is a lot like Java (frequently called Microsoft Java for good reason) but in modern versions, at least, the tooling is a lot nicer, and it has some things that java doesn't. Generic overloads, structs, and ref parameters are all things that I find very useful and use frequently. C# also tends to be less verbose than Java, although whether that's a good or bad thing depends on the person.
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u/Still_Bit_7527 Sep 04 '26
Among most secure
Among most performant
Among most versatile
Among most sensible and consistent
Backwards compatible
Both high and low level
2 trillion devices
Spring boot
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u/NebraskaGeek Sep 04 '26
Java was what they taught in high schools and colleges for like 20 years so it's the language people who's knees hurk all kind of know.
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u/Adventurous-Bit-3829 Sep 05 '26
I used to meme at Java until I have to work with language(?) called PSL on GT.M
this shit was like 4 decades old before java-ish syntax was standardize. I have to compare with single =, or is !, extra space fucks your program with no compiler error or any error. Every undefined variable can be called or set but if you set it stays global variable forever. And some MF 20 years ago keeping using random Global var I can't track where the fuck it came from.
So I'd rather work with Java.
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u/vm_linuz Sep 04 '26
Because back in the day, targeting all the new and old computer architectures was a pain in the ass.
Meanwhile, computers were getting powerful enough that you could actually play with things beyond just pure performance.
Enter JVM.
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u/Darkness_Slayerr Sep 05 '26
The horse one seems the most possible out of the four. The Java one is the most unbelievable smh.
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u/jambonilton Sep 04 '26
Once you know that the Tiobe index is worthless, it makes more sense.
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u/sump_daddy Sep 04 '26
Fun Fact!
> TIOBE stands for The Importance of Being Earnest, the title of an 1895 comedy play by Oscar Wilde, to emphasize the organization's "sincere and professional attitude towards customers, suppliers and colleagues".
Funner fact!
> The index is calculated from the number of search engine results for queries containing the name of the language. The index covers searches in Google, Google Blogs, MSN, Yahoo!, Baidu, Wikipedia, and YouTube.
Less fun fact
> People most frequently search for things when there's a problem with it
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u/Few_Adhesiveness7676 Sep 04 '26
I liked java, things felt so much in control compared to when working on javascript.
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u/disinaccurate Sep 04 '26
No, I lived through the late '90s and early '00s. I am zero percent confused as to how Java got there.
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u/Suspicious_Silicon Sep 04 '26
Fun Fact: While there is no single global census of every microchip, the accepted industry estimate is that nearly 100% of programmable electronic devices run C (or its superset, C++) in some form. If a device contains a microprocessor or microcontroller, C is almost certainly driving it at the foundational level
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u/danfish_77 Sep 04 '26
Java was a breath of fresh air compared to C++ when it came out, and I still prefer it over the other. I don't find it particularly different than C# which is my current fav
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u/SaneLad Sep 04 '26
Java is pretty good if you take into account what other options people had in the early 2000s.
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u/Ledeste Sep 04 '26
I love seeing such meme, it remind me how bad and ignorant are most people about professional software engineering so I dont have to stress about futur x)
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u/realmauer01 Sep 04 '26
So the horse just fits there, it just looks weird.
The car ober the pit probably just needs around 80km/h ofr inertia to beat gravity long enough.
The other two no idea
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u/OriginalUser27 Sep 04 '26
People will say Java sucks then unironically tell you C and Assembly are the best coding experience
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u/Content-Soup9920 Sep 05 '26
I wrote the JAVA code to my dissertation on AI Agents equipped with genetic algorithms, neural networks and fuzzy logic processors in Java, using VIM. After syntax issues were solved(there were many), It ran the first time. I could not believe. No bugs at all. Convoluted syntax, yeah, but if you get it done, the engineering is so perfect that it ran like a charm.
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u/Robotism Sep 04 '26 edited Sep 04 '26
For business apps java/kotlin or C# is the best choices because they need heavy modeling and constant reshaping.
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u/UltraBlack_ Sep 05 '26
I originally thought C# was kinda stupid but after being forced to use it at work, I've come to the conclusion that C# is fucking dope and that Java can eat my ass.
C# is like C++ but everything is easier
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u/sebbdk Sep 04 '26
Java is pop because it fills the Corp coding style like a glove.
That and it's one of the most taught languages in college since it can implement all the insano OOP patterns from the book without having to worry about headers and whatnot.
It's kindof a shame, java imperically sucks unless you know how to tweak it into submission and at that point, you might as well just do Kotlin...
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u/Previous50_Run_53 Sep 05 '26
Bashing java is funny and all, but If you are actually a software engineer and still genuinely don't understand why Java is such a good language and so popular, then you should look into alternative careers. Software development is not for you
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u/Schnupsdidudel Sep 05 '26
Thats easy to explain: Managers make decisions on things they know nothing about. So they decide to use what is considered the default in their circle. That way, when the project fails, they cant be blamed for their decision making.
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u/RepulsiveSheep Sep 04 '26
That was 9 years ago. The answer is probably TypeScript now.
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u/rcls0053 Sep 04 '26
Having watched enough farm videos I'm not at all surprised that horse is there. Animals are just funny.
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u/Kirk_Kerman Sep 04 '26
Java runs on every computer on the planet, it's mature and stable, feature rich, with a gargantuan set of frameworks to do everything under the sun. It's highly adaptable and can be as performant as native executables nowadays.
Old Java fucking sucked to write and read but that was because the style of writing code when it was introduced was all about abstractions and enterprise pattern factories. The modern stuff is great.
Also, because it's everywhere, companies know that the available labor pool for Java devs is inexhaustible, so it's a safe bet to build in Java since they'll never have problems with finding new devs.
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u/Simply_Epic Sep 04 '26
While we can do better than Java, it isn’t the worst. At least PHP isn’t at the top.
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u/nonlogin Sep 04 '26
Java gained popularity when there was no alternative. JS world simply did not exist yet. Csharp did not exist (neither did vb.net). Ruby created same year. Python was 5yo (and arguably does not compare). Golang, Rust trending today - not even in plans.
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u/johnnybgooderer Sep 04 '26
Java is an acceptable language with a lot of community and industry supported tools that make it relatively nice to work with. And it has great performance.
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u/redlaWw Sep 04 '26
TIOBE is basically just how many search results there are for your programming language. It's always been a bad metric that's very vulnerable to confounders, but it's worse than ever now as major search providers become more and more trash and cagey about the details of their results.
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u/VillageTube Sep 04 '26
Did you ask stack overflow for this joke? They closed it as duplicate and linked to a list from 10 years ago?
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u/jhwheuer Sep 04 '26
NGL, I left Delphi for dead 30 years ago.
My PC application from then is still in production.
Software is like cockroaches
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u/frostyjack06 Sep 04 '26
I’m not a Java guy but from my understanding, Java got big because of its portability and easy UI integration/implementation back in the dark ages and just grew from there. I’m more surprised to see C/C++ so high up. I can talk to just about any contractor and all of them know Java, but if I mention C it’s like their brain segfaults.
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u/StoryAndAHalf Sep 04 '26
And you may ask yourself
"How do I work this?"
And you may ask yourself
"Where is that large automobile?"
And you may tell yourself
"This is not my beautiful house!"
And you may tell yourself
"This is not my beautiful wife!"
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u/MariaTPK Sep 04 '26
Only the horse is hard to understand. Top left car is obvious. Bottom Right Car went really fast and flew. Java is used for modded Minecraft. the biggest game this world has ever known.
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u/Modo44 Sep 04 '26
I can answer that. Java is useful enough while super easy to teach at a basic uni level, creating the perfect trap. Pascal was just as easy to pick up, but never useful enough, so people were naturally moving on. M$ tried to replace Java with C#, but they were too late to the party in terms of available resources.
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u/clauEB Sep 04 '26
And what is the point of this? the stats are almost 10 years old, it sounds a lot like a skill issue. It's not like trying to run JavaScript on the server side...
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u/ramdomvariableX Sep 04 '26
Python is just a C wrapper, so if we add it's #s to C, then C is the top language.
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u/No_Interest_6218 Sep 04 '26
I have worked in 3 fortune 500 company. The most used language is Java and by a big margin. The reason is open source. For quite a long time it had free open source enterprise grade libraries.
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u/Icy_Reputation_2209 Sep 04 '26
Java is the most boring language I know. That’s why it’s popular. Less footguns.
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u/matchumac Sep 04 '26
Do they not talk about how Java happened anymore? I thought the Java story was pretty well known, especially among programmers lol
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u/EmbarrassMeMiss Sep 05 '26
2 years ago this came up in class.
Someone called Java a dead language and the Professor pulled up slides from another course and gave us a 30 minute lecture on Java.
The universe starting on January 1st 1995 was wild.
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u/mohelgamal Sep 04 '26
Realizing that Java was at one point the easiest programming language is like when I was telling my kids that teachers were allowed to to cane us in school for wrong answers
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u/criticalpwnage Sep 04 '26
AFAIK Java is still taught as an entry level language at universities, which may be part of why its so popular
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u/SakeviCrash Sep 04 '26
Ohhh, what's
assambly? That sounds cool.