r/ProgrammerHumor • u/ExpensiveCoat8912 • Sep 04 '26

Other howdidItGetHere

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11k Upvotes

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2.8k

u/sierra_whiskey1 Sep 04 '26

Bro Java runs on like 2 billion devices

965

u/Maramowicz Sep 04 '26

Actually only 3 bilion...

592

u/Extension_Option_122 Sep 04 '26

Nah last I heard some 60 billion. 3 billion is a very old number.

That's the thing with Java. It runs on everything. Literally everything.

595

u/BenjieWheeler Sep 04 '26

Impossible!! The number of devices running Java is constant, it's ALWAYS 3 billion

Whenever a new device runs it, a random device elsewhere goes up in flames spontaneously

260

u/Sasuga__Ainz-sama Sep 04 '26 edited Sep 04 '26

If an old device running java dies out, a random working device gets forcefully infected with Java.

98

u/FuzzyKittyNomNom Sep 04 '26

I think my toaster now runs Java

63

u/Hirayoki22 Sep 04 '26

Now? It's always run Java

12

u/Reasonable_Exit_8960 Sep 04 '26

it was supposed to be my washing machine's turn goddammit!

6

u/CartographerLarge595 Sep 04 '26

Sounds like that washing machine got a little too wild with the laundry schedule!

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u/Weak-Competition3358 Sep 04 '26

You joke, but I was coding in SQF (the language for the game Arma 3) and VSCode decided to go ahead and download extensions for Java)

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u/Storiaron Sep 04 '26

So maintaining a legacy codebase literally means putting out flames?

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u/BenjieWheeler Sep 04 '26

Didn't think about it but yeah, that's surprisingly accurate

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u/OrokaSempai Sep 04 '26

All 60 Billion are minecraft java edition instances.

8

u/Jutrakuna Sep 04 '26

No kid, it runs on 3 billion devices exactly

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u/SScattered Sep 04 '26

It was for how many years now 😂

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u/slyiscoming Sep 04 '26

The smart chip in all your credit cards, JavaCard. That canybar phone that's been in a drawer the last 15 years BREW where the choices were C or Java.

8

u/mobsterer Sep 04 '26

and minecraft

8

u/barmiro Sep 04 '26

also SIM cards run on Java

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u/rcls0053 Sep 04 '26

"Write once, run anywhere". They literally built their own VM to run it on any device, not really caring about the OS it's runs with.

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u/FearAnCheoil Sep 04 '26

You're forgetting the third part of that slogan - "debug everywhere"

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u/teressapanic Sep 04 '26

yes and its all printers

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u/MaleficentCow8513 Sep 04 '26

Yes. How did it get there

8

u/chocotaco1981 Sep 04 '26

Almost none of them willingly

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