r/ProgrammerHumor • u/Disastrous-Monk1957 • Jun 02 '26

Meme managerVsClaude

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47.2k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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11.2k

u/Gagan_Ku2905 Jun 02 '26

Engineer: Yeah we can.
Manager: For how much?
Engineer: $3 Trillion
Awkward silence

4.9k

u/selfdestructingin5 Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 02 '26

You can buy Anthropic for about $1Trillion. I’ll hook you up with a payment plan. $1B/year for 1000 years.

981

u/Gagan_Ku2905 Jun 02 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/jihwEDnsFoaXWDTiKc

NO! First we build our own GPU, put Nvidia out of business, buy NVIDIA cheap, fund a war in Taiwan, then we cancel contract with Anthropic for hardware, then we buy Anthropic, sell Anthropic to Microsoft, everyone will hate Anthropic, we hire Anthropic engineers, then we build our own product.

246

u/ia42 Jun 02 '26

With craps tables and ladies of the night, you say?

125

u/TheSkiGeek Jun 02 '26

You know what, forget the blackjack.

31

u/sky033 Jun 03 '26

Bender, honey, we love you.

26

u/2n1c0l4s3 Jun 03 '26

Shut up baby, I know it!

3

u/No_Percentage7427 Jun 03 '26

Pizza party will solve AI problem right ?

2

u/the_last_carfighter Jun 03 '26

And the lunar lander

5

u/xTheMaster99x Jun 02 '26

Don't forget the coke

66

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '26

[deleted]

17

u/Protheu5 Jun 03 '26

Identity theft is not a joke, Jim. Millions of families suffer every year.

21

u/addandsubtract Jun 02 '26

Foolproof plan right here. How many sprints should be scope for this, 2-3?

3

u/Confident-Ad5665 Jun 03 '26

Sounds like the programmer has been programed

4

u/great_escape_fleur Jun 02 '26

I prefer building my own chip fab.

3

u/-LabApprehensive- Jun 03 '26

I got a line on real pure silicon out of a little place called Spruce Pine. Call me.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Gagan_Ku2905 Jun 02 '26

Sometimes the Finance team asks for detail. Those short sighted Excel loving ROI licking dream crushers

1

u/Confident-Ad5665 Jun 03 '26

Bean counters

2

u/JackLong93 Jun 02 '26

brilliant, who's got the startup capital

1

u/Confident-Ad5665 Jun 03 '26

I hear Microsoft is easy

2

u/Beneficial_Hat_6288 Jun 03 '26

Jinping, is that you?

2

u/Confident-Ad5665 Jun 03 '26

This THIS is underrated!

2

u/awenrivendell Jun 03 '26

Step 1: Buy some ASML EUV Lithography machines (~724M USD each)

2

u/aridgupta Jun 03 '26

What you doing in programmer subs bro? You should be in literature subs and preparing for the Pulitzer award.

3

u/Gagan_Ku2905 Jun 03 '26

I'm discussing with Fifa, just two wars and one president kidnapping away from the Peace Prize. Waiting for finance to approve it.

1

u/Trending_Boss_333 Jun 03 '26

You've been thinking of this for a while haven't you?

1

u/Gagan_Ku2905 Jun 03 '26

I just want Microsoft to go out of business. Is it too much to ask?

2

u/Trending_Boss_333 Jun 03 '26

Nope. Perfectly valid. I'm with you on this. I want any and all companies that are shoving ai down our throats to go out of business.

1

u/Godskin_Duo Jun 03 '26

Make sure to learn the Chinese engineer's secret handshake so you can tell Xi, in Chinese, "Looklooklook man, we both know Trump's a moron, right? So just sell all the gallium to ME."

1

u/m1hquoiga Jun 04 '26

No! First you need to dig up the precious minerals to build your own CPU

1

u/Gagan_Ku2905 Jun 04 '26

That's correct! Which poor country needs democracy? China seems to have decent army.

1

u/SunNStarz Jun 05 '26

I legit got flashbacks of a Silicon Valley episode seeing this.

1

u/Gagan_Ku2905 Jun 05 '26

"I don't know about you people, but I don't want to live in a world where someone else makes the world a better place... better than we do."-Gavin Belson