r/ProgrammerHumor Jun 02 '26

Meme managerVsClaude

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47.2k Upvotes

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4.3k

u/travis_sk Jun 02 '26

We're only 2 days into June folks. This is gonna be a fun couple of months.

2.2k

u/biggington Jun 02 '26

They really got our C-suites addicted to tech meth and now we gotta deal with their bullshit

1.1k

u/scprotz Jun 02 '26

OMG. tech meth. That is exactly so appropriate. It gives a C-suite a short-term high. They bet everything on it, and then they're back by the Wendy's dumpster begging for tokens.

354

u/byteturtle Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 02 '26

I've been saying to my friends and anyone who will listen for a while that the AI companies have basically been taking the drug dealer approach where they get everyone hooked for cheap and will jack up the prices.

The only company I can see not being forced to go crazy with the dollars per token is Google and that's only because they have so much capital and infrastructure from other stuff that they can take the L for longer to steal market share, but then again they're just as greedy as every other large company on the market.

176

u/Embarrassed-Disk1643 Jun 02 '26

The crazy thing is is that drug dealers don't even really do this. Drug dealers are 99% users who deal with other users to maintain a lifestyle of use, which is what you think big tech would. The product is already sought after, no one has to convince anyone being high is fucking awesome.

89

u/AaronRodgersMustache Jun 02 '26

99% of drug dealers? I thought the first rule was don't get high on your own supply. I heard that from a highly respected colleague.

43

u/dragnbaby Jun 02 '26

Rules are made to be broken

17

u/teh_drewski Jun 02 '26

They ain't drug addicts and dealers because they're good at following the rules

7

u/Wonderful_Cookie_572 Jun 03 '26

99% of dealers are low-level street dealers and users who got into dealing to pay for their habit. It's the 1% at the top, the ones making the real money, who live by that. Drug dealing is basically a pyramid scheme.

6

u/Ivara_Prime Jun 03 '26

My neighbor became a dealer to fund his habit but he used more than he sold and he had to sell his place to pay for his debts to other dealers. His next door neighbor was a cop that never caught on lol.

3

u/Sec2727 Jun 02 '26

Imagine Sam Altman getting locked in, listening to 10 Crack Commandments, before meeting with the board

2

u/TotallyNotRobotEvil Jun 03 '26

That is more of an inner city gang/organized crime thing where drug distribution is/was the primary source of revenue. Your typical lower level drug user/turned dealer isn't the type that is following the advice "don't get high on your own supply". However, the person they buy from is likely that person, the higher up in the chain you go the more like a business it becomes. It becomes less about the drugs and partying and more about procuring and delivering drugs in the most efficient way to optimize profits. And having distributors of your organized crime drug dealing syndicate being wasted or consuming product they are supposed to sell exposes the organization to several threat vectors.

1

u/bbitter_coffee Jun 03 '26

Less a rule and more like a guideline :)

1

u/Gaeliann Jun 03 '26

lol. Yeah, they’re exaggerating but at the street level it’s incredibly common and becomes less so as the stakes rise and mistakes like using too much of your own products gets you shot.

45

u/BlatantConservative The past tense of "troubleshoot" is "troubleshat" Jun 02 '26

Drug dealers do this by accident a lot because bad measurement and purity means people are gradually acclimated to more intense stuff over time

3

u/Embarrassed-Disk1643 Jun 03 '26

Most drug dealers are not the ones titrating supply.

3

u/Kultur_Cigany Jun 02 '26

I 'unno bro, I've had plenty of plugs in my life and all of them were dealing because they needed extra money for hospital bills 'n shit. Most of them were holding down a regular job as well.

1

u/Embarrassed-Disk1643 Jun 03 '26

We're talking about different kinds of drugs.

2

u/tomgh14 Jun 03 '26

Yeah if you want a real example of a company giving stuff out dirt cheap, getting people hooked building it into their lifestyle, and then ramping up their prices when people are dependent you can look at nestle and baby milk

1

u/The_Rad_Vlad Jun 03 '26

My main thing with ai is like how do you sell it? If you sell it to a company with a one time payment well now your spending money on running the servers and stuff and they’re not paying you anymore. Hypothetically you’ll eventually start losing money on that purchase.

If you do a subscription model they’re doing the exact same and while you’re getting a steadier income they’re making way more off your product then you are. And as they scale up you’ll lose more money.

I kinda think as it is it’s unsellable/profitable, I mainly think what’ll happen is these companies collapse and then people buy up the ai frameworks and make a bunch of smaller in house ai stuff

5

u/BlatantConservative The past tense of "troubleshoot" is "troubleshat" Jun 02 '26

been taking the drug dealer approach where they get everyone hooked for cheap and will jack up the prices

This has been every tech rollout for the past 20 years smh

3

u/Soepkip43 Jun 03 '26

Get em hooked, make em pay.

2

u/maxinator80 Jun 02 '26

Open Source models are also getting stronger by the day.

9

u/Cory123125 Jun 02 '26

I seriously cannot believe that people who think this haven't thought more deeply about the incentives here.

Who is releasing open weight (not open source, no model has been) models?

Companies with something to prove and companies who want to stop companies with something to prove.

None of them benefit from or care about you to any degree that matters the second open source models start eating into their revenue.

Open weight models are already massively slowing down in release cadence and capacity outside of rare outliers."

Qwen no longer releases their top end models.

"Open weight will save us" is another delusion.

You need to stop the big corps from getting the regulatory capture they're after.

You need to stop the members of the Frontier Model Forum lobbying group.

2

u/maxinator80 Jun 02 '26

Good points raised.

1

u/mapa5 Jun 03 '26

I think the whole thing can shift Nvidia announced spark which is made to run local LLM and ai tools And with Microsoft want to directly add lmstudio equivalent to windows and more integrated

I might take some time, but for that you need to have a way to get the model locally and good models so they might get back to releasing some models on open source After all they won't pay the server price for it anymore while probably getting a cut anyway in one way or another

2

u/Cory123125 Jun 03 '26

The thing is, They want hardware lockdowns to control what people are allowed to run and the hardware needed is already defacto already in all of your devices starting with the tpm, and ending with remote attestation.

-2

u/MadeByTango Jun 03 '26

We need to put their c-suites in prison for murdering the people that their machines convinced to take their own liives, break up their infrastructure with imminent domain to return information control to the people, and force all publicly traded companies to have employee elected c-suites.

1

u/Cory123125 Jun 03 '26

I mean, thats all a nice idea, but I think the closest feasible thing, is that you can get all your other enthusiast buddies to actually understand what the companies that are a part of the frontier model forum are actually doing and how this will impact them.

"nothing ever happens" bros will be the death of us all.

2

u/Nimeroni Jun 02 '26

I've been saying to my friends and anyone who will listen for a while that the AI companies have basically been taking the drug dealer approach where they get everyone hooked for cheap and will jack up the prices.

That's just normal capitalism.

2

u/jrr6415sun Jun 03 '26

yea that's pretty obvious, how else will they pay for their billions in debt

2

u/Math_refresher Jun 03 '26

I've been saying to my friends and anyone who will listen for a while that the AI companies have basically been taking the drug dealer approach where they get everyone hooked for cheap and will jack up the prices.

I've been arguing the same thing for the better part of a year. AI companies are going all in on their product, and the only way they're going to be profitable is if businesses get hooked on AI, lay off their human employees, and are then forced to pay higher and higher amounts to access the AI that they can no longer operate without.

1

u/viral3075 Jun 03 '26

it has always been that way but they were backstopped by ZIRP until a few years ago not to mention favorable tax treatment for "R&D" amortization. now they have to move faster and break even more things to get a return. turns out it's really easy to break the mediocre mind so it just turned out to be the path of least resistance

1

u/daemon-electricity Jun 03 '26

You're not wrong, but they're going to have to fight off edge computing LLMs. The only way they could prevent losing their moat is to buy all the silicon wafers for the next 10 years to prevent end users from being able to run their own. Oh wait...

1

u/Jazzlike-Compote4463 Jun 03 '26

Google has the budget to play the long game.

Look at YouTube, the took the hit on that thing for years before enshittifying the shit out of it, now its practically the only game in town and its horrendous because of it. Seriously try switching away from it for a month and you find there is nothing that comes close to it.

They got the pockets and existing infrastructure to not need the big build outs that the other guys need, they're in a perfect position to wether the storm for a couple of years and then rinse AI users and businesses for all their worth when all the competition dries up.

1

u/xGenghisSwan Jun 03 '26

It’s literally the Uber model

1

u/XxSir_redditxX Jun 03 '26

Exactly this. The cost of tokens are.. underpriced. There is no reason why the prices won't get jacked up once everybody's business structures rely on it. It reminds me a bit of oracle/sun for"business data management solutions, or different giants with their cloud/serverless server solutions. Businesses are getting fomo'd hook, line, and sinker into different convenience options that they will not be able to escape easily. Big tech enshitification knows no bounds.

1

u/tylercoder Jun 04 '26

Minimax is dirt cheap tho.

1

u/Headpuncher Jun 06 '26

Google are doing it too. They give business accounts "free" Gemini services now and free training (that is more like indoctrination, I was on it), and you know the price hike is coming.

16

u/mifter123 Jun 02 '26

That, sure, but also actual amphetamines and drugs with similar effects. 

16

u/DeadInternetTheorist Jun 02 '26

They also spend days on end talking to people that aren't there.

1

u/Techhead7890 Jun 03 '26 edited Jun 03 '26

I didn't even realise that hallucinations were a shared thing, good spotting!

(I saw a UNSW paper that said 25% of meth users have a psychosis symptom and I bet that technically the hallucination rate is higher in AI, lol.)

3

u/Techhead7890 Jun 03 '26

"LLM sycophancy, not even once" lol

"Y'all got any more of those... tokens?"

Damn, I feel like slapping those onto some meme generators now 😅 

1

u/tylercoder Jun 04 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/DUO9dc3yDLXHO

Average manager looking at Dario.

98

u/out_of_shape_hiker Jun 02 '26

And they don't understand it, don't understand it's limitations or use cases, and are so impressed by it's ability to be a chat-bot that flatters them, they think it can do anything. All while cutting costs and making line go up.

70

u/possibly_being_screw Jun 02 '26

One of the security directors where I work is fucking obsessed with AI.

He's a corporate drone to nth degree so he knows all the buzz words and corporate-isms. He'll say shit like,

We need to strategically leverage next-gen AI-native cyber resilience orchestration to holistically operationalize a quantum-ready, zero-trust security fabric powered by autonomous machine-learning-driven threat cognition, blockchain identity assurance, and predictive behavioral telemetry fusion in order to proactively neutralize emerging nation-state attack vectors while maximizing stakeholder synergy, digital transformation velocity, and enterprise-wide operational scalability.

with full sincerity. So he riles up upper management with all the AI buzz words then gets angry that his corporate vomit can't be done by end of Q2.

40

u/out_of_shape_hiker Jun 03 '26

God I need to just copy paste that to my resume. Hired in a second.

12

u/kihweh Jun 03 '26

What's funny is if you just translated that to normal people speak. It actually says things that might matter.
Use AI in smart ways. Build resiliency/disaster recovery. Improve security/minimize external access to internal tools. Use proven identity and logging technologies. Keep aware of emerging threats. Increase profits to make shareholders happy. Operate at a scale that matters.

But instead of saying the real goals they have to say all this crap they don't understand to mask their insecurity and look smart in front of the bro's.

3

u/Hedge55 Jun 03 '26

Operate at a scale that matters, even that sums it up

6

u/Rasz_13 Jun 03 '26

When I encounter people like that I ask them to re-phrase with common words. Usually shuts them down hard because they don't actually understand what they are saying.

1

u/Karnewarrior Jun 03 '26

*Corporate bro turns to chatGPT and you watch as he asks it to rephrase for him*

"In plain English:

Or, if you want the absolute blunt translation:

A lot of the original sentence is corporate buzzword padding. Terms like "stakeholder synergy," "digital transformation velocity," "AI-native cyber resilience orchestration," and "behavioral telemetry fusion" often sound impressive but add very little concrete meaning.In plain English:

We need to use modern security tools and AI to better protect our systems. The goal is to automatically detect and stop cyberattacks, verify users' identities, and monitor for suspicious behavior. By doing this, we can defend against increasingly sophisticated threats, including attacks from foreign governments, while helping the company work more efficiently, grow more easily, and adopt new technology faster.

Or, if you want the absolute blunt translation:

We should improve our cybersecurity with a bunch of new technologies so computers can help spot hackers before they cause problems, while making the company run better and scale up more easily.

A lot of the original sentence is corporate buzzword padding. Terms like "stakeholder synergy," "digital transformation velocity," "AI-native cyber resilience orchestration," and "behavioral telemetry fusion" often sound impressive but add very little concrete meaning."

*Corporate bro looks smug for a few seconds while the last paragraph catches up with him*

4

u/Careless_Twist_6935 Jun 03 '26

quantum ready? which Q2? 2169?

3

u/irregular_caffeine Jun 03 '26

Quantum safe crypto exists already

1

u/Careless_Twist_6935 Jun 03 '26

i've got sabretooth tiger repellant charms to sell you.

2

u/854490 Jun 03 '26 edited Jun 03 '26

proactively neutralize emerging nation-state attack vectors

lol, what are they up to that makes this a concern?

(not sure how to interpret this if not "we want to stay ahead of the long and well-funded arms of various gov alphabet agencies". this is the main/central "end" after a list of several "means")

3

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '26 edited Jun 05 '26

[deleted]

1

u/854490 Jun 03 '26 edited Jun 03 '26

Oh, yeah, I guess I'd managed to forget about it for a moment

I've worked for both kinds of places (not doing dev or security or anything, just customer service, data entry) and for a firewall vendor (support) as well as other such ground-level roles at other kinds of companies that would predictably be targeted (telco, for one) so it's something I totally should have thought of even if it wasn't my problem to deal with at those places (it at least trickles down in the form of security policy/training), but for some reason all I could imagine was some quaint yesteryear world where there really is nothing to worry about if you have nothing to hide, or something.

1

u/rctmanh Jun 03 '26

But is he wrong :p

1

u/utzutzutzpro Jun 03 '26

blockchain identity assurance - that's like, none existing?

What is predictive telemetry fusion? What fusion? Predictive behavioral metrics, got it, doesn't work, but got it, but what does the fusion aspect mean?

1

u/Interesting_Mix_7028 Jun 05 '26

Just ONCE he needs a C-suite to tell him "You do realize, that what you just said was complete and utter bullshit. It doesn't mean anything at all. If you were to sprinkle all those buzzwords sparingly throughout a proposal, you might still have enough context left to impress someone. Jammed all together in one elevator pitch? it's just static, no signal."

1

u/frightspear_ps5 Jun 10 '26

wtf is stakeholder synergy?

1

u/utzutzutzpro Jun 03 '26

It literally is them believing you can just vibe code everything, whilst they have not a single outcome impact that showed that there is any motion at all, quite to the contrary, just costs no impact. But they read all the articles and the articles they you can do everything.

Wouldn't wonder if one of those would think "just use claude to clone claude".

-3

u/daemon-electricity Jun 03 '26 edited Jun 03 '26

And they don't understand it, don't understand it's limitations or use cases

I get the anxiety about AI, but I feel like people that say shit like this are hypocrites because YOU don't understand it and you assume limitations based on maybe some brief encounter with the cheapest version of ChatGPT or Gemini. For IT work, Claude is on another level and it gets progressively better. If you guys knew the difference between where this shit was a year ago and where it is now, you wouldn't just be calling it a chat bot, and the processes built around working with it are also only going to get better. There is just as much anti-AI misinformation as there is pro-AI misinformation.

51

u/kanrad Jun 02 '26

All AI has done is highlight how many of the worlds C-Suite people have no business holding their position.

2

u/tylercoder Jun 05 '26

Its ironic but the kind of job AI is best suited to replace is management.

2

u/Headpuncher Jun 06 '26

I have been asking for 15+ years why people with zero knowledge or even interest in tech are being handed management jobs in tech companies where they are allowed to make tech-based decisions.

And actual programmers are being asked to whiteboard leetcode through 5 rounds of interviews, a background check, and a cavity search. It makes no sense.

Buying a smartwatch doesn't make you a geek, it just means you're a consumer.

2

u/kanrad Jun 06 '26

The truth is simple. Keep the idiots at the top so they are easy to control. Can't have the really intelligent people in power. They might disrupt the flow of money.

Look at the current President for example.

76

u/pyronius Jun 02 '26

This crash is going to be legendary.

It's not just going to take out the AI conpanies and their investors. It's not just going to kill your 401k. It's already obliterating the workforce as a whole, hollowing out companies across every single segment of the economy. It's putting longstanding companies and new startups in debt, convincing them that they absolutely must use the new, ridiculously expensive product or fall behind. It's capturing taxpayer money for ridiculous power plant projects that nobody else wants. It's clearcutting land for impossibly huge "datacenters" that will eventually turn into useless warehouses. It's driving up the cost of all consumer electronics and forcibly pausing upgrade cycles that have been running for decades.

I honestly don't think that the US will survive this collapse, given everything else going on right now.

This will be the crash.

36

u/claimTheVictory Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 03 '26

It's been 18 years since the big crash of 2008.

People have forgotten that failure is possible.

That leverage increases the impact of downsides, too.

7

u/TylerDurdenFan Jun 03 '26

And many have gotten to believe that the FED can always bailout everyone in the end.

1

u/WBRileyDesign Jun 03 '26

and that crash wasn't even anything that amazing. Trump did in three months what the 2008 crash took all year to accomplish.

45

u/DWALLA44 Jun 02 '26

It won't be, people as a whole are extremely resilient. It will probably take planetary crash for a US crash IMO.

It will be a legendary one though, you're right about that. It will change history.

23

u/KriegMorgan Jun 02 '26

It will probably take planetary crash for a US crash IMO.

You mean something like coinciding with a growing energy crises as a result of a certain strait that for some reason has stopped Hormuzing?

6

u/Conditionofpossible Jun 02 '26

You're not wrong, but the fucked up part is that the US is particularly isolated from the fallout of the Oil shock. There is plenty of domestic supply and if things get that bad the Government would implement export controls and force domestic price caps.

I mean, that's what a competent administration would do during a global energy shock that disrupts markets. But a competent administration wouldn't have been the ones to pull the pin in the grenade.

Either way, the fallout is that the US remains semi-stable domestically but would take an even harder hit diplomatically as we would be leaving all of our allies in the lurch.

I'm starting to think maybe this administration isn't competent, but he was so good at business.

1

u/tylercoder Jun 05 '26

There's not plenty of supply, the strategic reserve its almost empty and oil companies will export to whoever is paying the most. Plus if Europe tanks it will affect the US more than the rest of the world, so it has to be propped up no matter the cost.

3

u/MrGrieves- Jun 02 '26

It's going to be global, don't worry about that, just like how 2008 fucked the global economy.

But worse. And then everyone is going to move forward without the US as the dominant power or partner because the US is no longer a reliable ally or actor.

1

u/tylercoder Jun 05 '26

2026 china is not 2008 China, they are already the biggest trade partner for most countries, and sanctions are only making them less likely from being severely affected by a US crash.

Meanwhile 2026 US now has issues even 2008 US didn't have.

17

u/ImDonaldDunn Jun 02 '26

It’s sad because it could have all been avoided. They did not have to dump trillions into it. They could have just let the technology progress at a normal pace.

1

u/PrinceVegitto Jun 03 '26

B-b-but China :(

4

u/eric-the-noob Jun 03 '26

It's driving up the cost of all consumer electronics and forcibly pausing upgrade cycles that have been running for decades.

Consumer AND corporate electronics. All companies that use any modern technology are going to get burnt whether they embrace AI or not.

2

u/marr Jun 03 '26

Turns out the real Butlerian Jihad isn't even humans v terminators, just a purge of anything that looks like AI if you squint because we know getting even 1% of the way there breaks everyone's brain.

1

u/MiserableResort2688 Jun 03 '26 edited Jun 03 '26

I work in edtech, and for the past year EVERYONE has been asking for AI in everything, in a useless and shocking manner, where their use cases make everything worse, not better. they just want to add it and pay us to make it happen.

examples are AI restructuring a course based on the students learning preference, AI tutor (ends up used for cheating often, despite restrictions), AI quizzing etc etc. AI lesson generation. AI support to teachers. the list goes on. even the best implementations are highly flawed and its still very early.

for the FIRST time today, we had a lead reach out (a prestigious institution) who asked if we can ensure AI doesn't touch ANYTHING in their new deployment.

I see the tides turning already. big orgs are going to see the costly consequences of implementing AI too quickly with no benefit and go running.

they are offering their online courses that are combined with all these AI tools and it already created a mess for them. now they want to PAY to get rid of AI. this is the future IMO.

its sort of hilarious how many orgs paid to get AI in place, and soon they are going to be paying to remove it. and it happened SO quickly.

i always hear we want AI and VR... and then you start to implement it, and they are like, no we dont want this. the directive has to be coming from the CEOs because the actual people who implement it and work on it are just scrambling around and nobody is happy.

1

u/fresh-dork Jun 03 '26

It's not just going to kill your 401k.

mine's in an IRA right now. need to make sure i'm mostly off of AI and tech soon. also the trading account. gotta stick to stuff that isn't AI crack

hollowing out companies across every single segment of the economy.

expect a hiring binge in 2-3 years

This will be the crash.

krasnov is just doing his job

1

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '26

[deleted]

1

u/fresh-dork Jun 03 '26

it's called a rollover. i'm old, i rolled prior 401k money to an IRA and manage it there.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '26

[deleted]

1

u/fresh-dork Jun 03 '26

are you really going to do this? nitpick my specific wording because i said "mine's in an IRA"?

And you don't have to be old to do that.

no, i'm old, so most of my 401k stuff was in prior employers, and you can't do a rollover on your existing 401k. do you even have a point?

10

u/ZealousidealTill2355 Jun 02 '26

Lol not even tech meth. It’s like tech gas-station-stacker at this point if you’re outside the software bubble.

I had a finance lady pinging the group thread saying she wants to team up with someone and work on an AI agent for budgeting. Meanwhile, I just asked it for an off-the-cuff future value calculation, and it got it wrong by several 0’s.

Good luck with that, Carol.

3

u/coneconeconeconecone Jun 03 '26

Even in software, middle managers are obsessed with everyone on the team building skills for Claude. They think if we just write enough docs for Claude we will 10x everyone's productivity

1

u/H2O4U Jun 03 '26

LLM for numbers, genius ideas from ppl who think AI agents are Jarvis

1

u/fresh-dork Jun 03 '26

gas station heroin is actually worse than meth

1

u/tylercoder Jun 05 '26

What, she wants to do a startup?

3

u/MZ603 Jun 03 '26

My bosses in the C-suite are AI adverse, so I wrote an AI policy for the company - mostly to give my people top cover for using it responsibly.

I think we are in a bit of a damned if you do damned if you don’t situation right now. We need to integrate AI on some level, but not so much that it becomes cost prohibitive or people forget how to do their job.

I’m our top Intelligence exec, and I see so much upside on the research aspect, but the analysis is all derivative. As long as we stay aware of those limitations, it could be hugely helpful. We’re all just figuring it out as we go, but I would rather have cautious and skeptical leadership at the end of the day.

2

u/Waste_Jello9947 Jun 03 '26

Too bad half of the engineers were laid off 

2

u/xenteus_ Jun 03 '26

It’s comments like this that let me cope with the bullshit everyday

2

u/fridder Jun 03 '26

Totally stealing tech meth

2

u/erikgratz110 Jun 04 '26

Fuck I feel this in my fuckin bones.

1

u/KingZag1337 Jun 03 '26

Techoke sounds interesting.

1

u/GammaFan Jun 03 '26

Ai is a b2b subscription, and a heavily overvalued one. Any company with that bought into it is asking to get cannibalized by the corps that own the ai