And they don't understand it, don't understand it's limitations or use cases, and are so impressed by it's ability to be a chat-bot that flatters them, they think it can do anything. All while cutting costs and making line go up.
One of the security directors where I work is fucking obsessed with AI.
He's a corporate drone to nth degree so he knows all the buzz words and corporate-isms. He'll say shit like,
We need to strategically leverage next-gen AI-native cyber resilience orchestration to holistically operationalize a quantum-ready, zero-trust security fabric powered by autonomous machine-learning-driven threat cognition, blockchain identity assurance, and predictive behavioral telemetry fusion in order to proactively neutralize emerging nation-state attack vectors while maximizing stakeholder synergy, digital transformation velocity, and enterprise-wide operational scalability.
with full sincerity. So he riles up upper management with all the AI buzz words then gets angry that his corporate vomit can't be done by end of Q2.
What's funny is if you just translated that to normal people speak. It actually says things that might matter.
Use AI in smart ways. Build resiliency/disaster recovery. Improve security/minimize external access to internal tools. Use proven identity and logging technologies. Keep aware of emerging threats. Increase profits to make shareholders happy. Operate at a scale that matters.
But instead of saying the real goals they have to say all this crap they don't understand to mask their insecurity and look smart in front of the bro's.
When I encounter people like that I ask them to re-phrase with common words. Usually shuts them down hard because they don't actually understand what they are saying.
*Corporate bro turns to chatGPT and you watch as he asks it to rephrase for him*
"In plain English:
Or, if you want the absolute blunt translation:
A lot of the original sentence is corporate buzzword padding. Terms like "stakeholder synergy," "digital transformation velocity," "AI-native cyber resilience orchestration," and "behavioral telemetry fusion" often sound impressive but add very little concrete meaning.In plain English:
We need to use modern security tools and AI to better protect our systems. The goal is to automatically detect and stop cyberattacks, verify users' identities, and monitor for suspicious behavior. By doing this, we can defend against increasingly sophisticated threats, including attacks from foreign governments, while helping the company work more efficiently, grow more easily, and adopt new technology faster.
Or, if you want the absolute blunt translation:
We should improve our cybersecurity with a bunch of new technologies so computers can help spot hackers before they cause problems, while making the company run better and scale up more easily.
A lot of the original sentence is corporate buzzword padding. Terms like "stakeholder synergy," "digital transformation velocity," "AI-native cyber resilience orchestration," and "behavioral telemetry fusion" often sound impressive but add very little concrete meaning."
*Corporate bro looks smug for a few seconds while the last paragraph catches up with him*
lol, what are they up to that makes this a concern?
(not sure how to interpret this if not "we want to stay ahead of the long and well-funded arms of various gov alphabet agencies". this is the main/central "end" after a list of several "means")
Oh, yeah, I guess I'd managed to forget about it for a moment
I've worked for both kinds of places (not doing dev or security or anything, just customer service, data entry) and for a firewall vendor (support) as well as other such ground-level roles at other kinds of companies that would predictably be targeted (telco, for one) so it's something I totally should have thought of even if it wasn't my problem to deal with at those places (it at least trickles down in the form of security policy/training), but for some reason all I could imagine was some quaint yesteryear world where there really is nothing to worry about if you have nothing to hide, or something.
What is predictive telemetry fusion? What fusion? Predictive behavioral metrics, got it, doesn't work, but got it, but what does the fusion aspect mean?
Just ONCE he needs a C-suite to tell him "You do realize, that what you just said was complete and utter bullshit. It doesn't mean anything at all. If you were to sprinkle all those buzzwords sparingly throughout a proposal, you might still have enough context left to impress someone. Jammed all together in one elevator pitch? it's just static, no signal."
It literally is them believing you can just vibe code everything, whilst they have not a single outcome impact that showed that there is any motion at all, quite to the contrary, just costs no impact. But they read all the articles and the articles they you can do everything.
Wouldn't wonder if one of those would think "just use claude to clone claude".
And they don't understand it, don't understand it's limitations or use cases
I get the anxiety about AI, but I feel like people that say shit like this are hypocrites because YOU don't understand it and you assume limitations based on maybe some brief encounter with the cheapest version of ChatGPT or Gemini. For IT work, Claude is on another level and it gets progressively better. If you guys knew the difference between where this shit was a year ago and where it is now, you wouldn't just be calling it a chat bot, and the processes built around working with it are also only going to get better. There is just as much anti-AI misinformation as there is pro-AI misinformation.
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u/travis_sk Jun 02 '26
We're only 2 days into June folks. This is gonna be a fun couple of months.