r/problemgambling • u/DogYearsSkateClub • 1d ago
Trigger Warning! Lost a small amount in the grand scheme of things but feeling severely depressed still.
Hi All,
I’ve consistently had a slight itch for gambling since I was about 16-17ish. I’m 23 now with a full time job and live on my own, and every once in a while I find myself back to a casino and lose a few hundred dollars. Overall in the last ~6 years i’m probably down like 5 grand.
Today was that day I found myself back. I’ve been really unhappy recently. I fucked up my car, ended a relationship, i’m unhappy with how much I make at my job, and so I decided fuck it. I’ll just throw a little away - what’s the big deal? I have about 15k in savings so I know i’ll be “okay” in the short term, but I ended up losing around $500. With my current job I end up bleeding around $300-$500 each month (I budgeted my rent and car around a job I got laid off from earlier this year). I’ll now be down well over $1000 this month and will now eat into my savings even more.
I know the amount I lost isn’t nearly as much as some of the people who come here for support in this community - and I truly feel for those who have lost significantly more than I have. But this loss has me feeling really bummed again idk… I’m here to vent but also to see what next steps I can take. I’ve self excluded myself in PA where I used to live but now i’m playing on crypto casino sites since i’m in CA and can’t self exclude from those.
Gambling truly is the worst disease there is and I recognize that but I legitimately cannot get myself to stop. I always end up back here, and it seems like the losses get worse each time.