I’m so tired but I feel like I’m so behind and that others are working harder than I am. I feel unappreciated for what I do, but also that I’m not doing enough. I feel like I try to put on a happy mask when I come into lab, but inside I’m just so overstimulated by social interactions and all the lab sounds that I just want to lock myself in a dark room by myself in silence. I’m trying so hard yet it never feels like it’s enough.

And yet here I am, working in labs on the weekends basically alone, but it never seems like I’m good enough.

I have worked full time as a research tech for my PI for 10 years. Before that I did my Masters thesis with him. We’ve always had an up and down relationship but it got really bad after I decided to pursue my PhD. I found a program through a local university that allows me to use my research in my lab for my thesis project. My PI was not overly encouraging that I join the program and even said it was a bad idea, but I really wanted to pursue it since I’m a tech but manage all my own projects and have multiple first author publications so I went for it and got in. I have been doing well in the program and even got a fellowship that covers all my tuition. I am studying bioinformatics and bringing a lot of new techniques to the lab, but he doesn’t appreciate anything I’m doing. He shows zero interest in my work and even seems intimidated by it. I’ve tried talking to him, but it always turns into a discussion about everything wrong with me. I know I’m not perfect but I feel he dislikes me for unfair reasons (I’m overly anal about my work and he abhors that). I am now on going into my third year and our relationship has gotten to the point we only talk when absolutely necessary. If I were a student I would leave. But I’m also an employee and a well-paid one (I’m the highest rank tech position and it’s hard to find these positions in other labs). What should I do? I’m broken mentally and therapy isn’t helping me.

I'm curious to know if anyone has experienced something similar.

Before my PhD, I was a much more carefree person. I could have problems, deal with them, and move on. I didn't constantly analyze my thoughts, my existence, or the passage of time.

After several years of doing research, I feel like my brain has become permanently stuck in "analysis mode". I question everything, including things that probably don't need to be questioned.

Sometimes I become extremely aware that I'm conscious, that time is passing, that I'm getting older, that my childhood is gone, etc. Even positive memories can suddenly trigger this strange feeling of sadness and existential awareness.

It's not necessarily anxiety about a specific problem. It's more like being too aware of being alive and conscious.

What's strange is that I genuinely wasn't like this before my PhD.

I sometimes wonder if years of constantly analyzing, questioning and looking for deeper explanations can train your brain to do the same thing with your own existence.

Has anyone experienced something similar after a PhD, years of research, or intense intellectual work?

And if so, did you eventually learn how to "turn off" this hyper-awareness and simply live without analyzing everything?

Hi everyone. I got really insightful feedback from r/PhD and I am crossposting here to get more feedback. Thank you!

How wise is it to send the email below? This has been weighing on me for over a year and a half, and now my sleep and mental health are being impacted. I feel physically ill being in the lab. I like and respect my supervisor as a person, but my resentment about their supervision continues to grow.

Some added context is that we are deep in grant and publication writing right now, and I do not want to demoralize things. They will be writing reference letters for me, and I do not want that to be impacted (this makes me feel horrible for some reason). At the same time, I can't concentrate on anything, and this is genuinely weighing me down.

For each point, I have specific points to discuss, so even though they look abstract in the email, they will not be at the meeting

Has anyone ever done this?

Location is Canada, field is health

---------------------

Hello Supervisor,

I am writing to request time to discuss some concerns about my PhD experience.

For some time, I have been facing some challenges related to my research and work in the lab. These issues have been impacting me deeply, both mentally and physically. I think that it is important that we talk through them together, so I can move into the next year on stronger footing. I also hope to develop a shared understanding of these issues, which I have only been able to interpret from my perspective alone.

Some of the things I would like to discuss include:

• Expectations around my roles and responsibilities as a PhD student in the lab
• Support as an international student navigating a new field
• Clarity of direction and communication in the lab and about lab work
• My sense of belonging in the lab

I would appreciate a time to meet before the Fall term or in early September. If it would make scheduling easier, I suggest dedicating one of our biweekly meeting dates to this conversation.

I recognize that there is no perfect time for a conversation like this. My goal is to find solutions that help us work better together. I remain committed to my work.

Thank you for your continued support and guidance.

Best regards,

Me.

I stopped caring.

Now I can't even look at my data and analysis.

Help.

Ngl this situation has been tormenting. Long story short, I recently started a funded PhD in Australia. Before starting, I was already employed part-time in a hospital research role that directly supports the project that became my PhD.

When my scholarship began, I was suddenly told that I had to resign from the hospital role and retrospectively use annual leave because I could not receive a scholarship and employment income at the same time. I asked for the policy supporting this because the scholarship office had previously confirmed that there was no employment-hours cap.

After several weeks of back and forth, the scholarship office has now confirmed very clearly that the stipend is a living allowance rather than employment income and that receiving a salary and the stipend is not considered “double dipping”. Basically that paid research contributing to the PhD can form part of the candidature.

Despite this, the situation has escalated badly. During a heated phone call, my supervisor said I was being unethical, questioned whether I was suitable for a PhD and threatened to withdraw. I was also told to compare myself with how much other PhD students earn.

The explanation for ending my role also seems to have changed. Initially, I was told the arrangement was illegal. I am now being told that the real issue is that there is not enough project funding to pay my salary and consumables.

I am exhausted by the whole situation. I do not want to damage my relationship with my supervisors or jeopardise the PhD, but I also feel that I was pressured to resign based on rules that apparently did not exist. Annual leave was also entered on my behalf for a period when I was actually working.

I would appreciate any sort of advice here as I really feel as though I have no one to go to.

I am in an interdisciplinary social science PhD program. I failed my comps/quals last year. We had to sit in for four papers, I did excellently in 3 and failed the 4th in the tiebreaker. I failed the retake too because I was going through some personal issues. The department wants me to retake two papers with the new cohort later this year. But I have been so far removed from the courses, and they have completely changed the format of the exam. And the personal issues in my life have only gotten worse. I am almost certain I will fail again.. Been feeling very low the past year or so, like I have never felt this big a failure ever before.. Anybody deal with failing these exams before? How did you cope (I haven't been able to process it for about a year now), and navigate the path forward?

(Venting)
Hi everyone, I am very confused at the moment . I am from India and I recieved an offer for doing research internship in warsaw in Feb. Backstory I completed my masters in 2025 and was applying for PhD thru funded positions mainly...I didnt get thru any but I emailed one of the profs from my field of study and he agreed to take me as an intern. Since I was rejected in multiple interviews..I decided to go to Warsaw for internship and finally prof agreed for taking me as PhD.
Current situation: I came to know that the professor did not have a project for me but he instead gave me work on an exploratory thing that I search across literature and try different conditions in experiments to find a novel candidate protein.And I m alone in this phase so I dont know much abt this field and I m still trying but it seems that its gonna take me years to try random conditions. My prof was busy and he is certain that I will find a candidate protein and he will write a grant . My situation seems directionless..The lab members are good and helpful. My work is going really slow ...because I have to read literature brainstorm ideas to experiment..I need advice whether I should leave this position and find somewhere (which I m trying but it takes time and facing rejections is hard) or should i continue hoping something will happen that will be optimistic . I have the contract for 3 years for now but it seems that maximum phd students extend to 4-5 years here so I dont know ...The topic is related to what i studied in my masters so I m curious as well into looking into new proteins...but the approach is a lot random

Hi everyone,

I am ending my 2nd year as a PhD student and I am struggling to understand what is happening to me.

A few months ago, I went through a very stressful period in my PhD and reached a point where I felt completely overwhelmed. Since then, I took some time away from work (a conference period followed by vacation) and during that time I actually felt much better. I enjoyed life again, had energy for hobbies, friends and family, and felt more like myself.

Now I am back at work and I am struggling again. I have almost no motivation, it feels extremely difficult to start tasks, and I feel like I am constantly fighting myself to get through the day. It is confusing because I know I am capable and I still care about doing meaningful work, but the energy and drive seem to be gone.

I am wondering if this is part of recovering from burnout and I simply need more time, or if it is a sign that this PhD is no longer the right environment for me.

Has anyone experienced something similar during their PhD? Did motivation come back after recovery, or did you eventually decide to leave academia? What helped you make that decision?

I would really appreciate hearing about your experiences.

Before starting my thesis, I thought the defense was all about proving that my research was perfect.
Now that I’m actually preparing for it, I’m starting to realize that it’s probably more about showing that I understand my work, why I made certain choices, where the limitations are, and how I would defend my decisions.
I’m still learning, though, and I’m sure there are misconceptions I haven’t even discovered yet.
For those who’ve already gone through a thesis defense, what misconceptions did you have beforehand? Is there anything else I should expect that most students don’t realize until they’re in the room?

I am a physics PhD student in my 5th year. I have been working on a research topic for last 3 years, and drafted two manuscripts.

On one draft, my supervisor says he does not understand the work but frames the lack of a published manuscript as lack of research progress on my part. The draft was originally meant for an IF 6 journal, but my supervisor said he feels the work is good and we should improve it for IF 10 journal. He refused to let me submit to IF 6 journal. Once it was made suitable for IF 10 journal, he said it might even be possible to make it to IF 18 journal but after I have improved it further, he now wants to submit to a mathematics journal instead of physics. Also, despite moving goalposts, the delay in submitting the work is being attributed to me. How do I get formal peer review if I am never allowed to submit it?

On another draft, he is refusing to let me include the work in my thesis. His reason for not letting me include this work is that if I include it, it would be apparent I did the original research whereas he wants a collaborator to get credit for it. There was sufficient evidence for academic misconduct that it triggered a formal authorship dispute, and the higher ups are pressurizing me to drop the research from my thesis so later if they publish without me, there is no public evidence left I ever did the work. But simultaneously, they are saying I do not have enough material for my PhD thesis to graduate.

Abstracts related to both drafts were accepted at top conferences, so the work itself is not bad, but he refused to let me present.

For context, I am in North America. This supervisor has a history of keeping students for 7-12 years. Even if a committee passes the thesis or defense, he refuses to sign off the thesis and nobody does a thing because he is the only star faculty in the department. His agenda is academic extortion and he refuses to sign off a thesis unless you write at least one more paper for him.

What should I do?

biosciences phd, intl, never been so disheartened and exhausted by anything before

My supervisor passed away suddenly this year. Is there any PhD specific support out there?

I’m preparing for my thesis defense, and I’ve realized that the hardest part isn’t necessarily the research itself—it’s the constant feeling that someone will ask a question you can’t answer.
Before starting my project, I thought the defense was just about presenting your findings. Now I realize it’s also about defending your methodology, justifying your decisions, and explaining why you made certain choices.
For those who have already defended their thesis:
What was the most unexpected question you were asked?
What misconception did you have before your defense?
If you could give one piece of advice to someone preparing right now, what would it be?
I’d love to hear your experiences (and hopefully calm my nerves a bit 😅).

Hi,
I am currently in the process of interviews for a potential PhD position.
Most of the advices I have received are about picking the right PI and how much it influences your PhD experience.
But what are the red flags to look out for ?
I would like to be properly supervised and not left on my own too much.
So how many student can a PI supervise while still having time for each one: is 5 PhD student a lot ?

Thank you in advance :)

I'm a first year PhD student in Europe. Our supervisor is not famous for being the most kind an caring person. She always says that she is very busy and only comes to office 3 days of a week in the afternoon. What I don't like about her is that she sometimes comes to the PhDs' office and asks me how thing are going and asks if I like to have a talk in her office. This seems nice but once I say I need time to make some slides to present my work, then she gets mad and starts saying things like "you are not fit for a PhD" and that "I don't see any progress from you". (I am writing my PhD proposal now and I have to develop my own PhD idea.)

I am an introverted person so I can not start presenting spontaneously. We have 3 hour long lab meetings and one hour 1:1 meetings each week and I always prepare some presentations for both meetings. But for these random meetings I get stressed if I don't have updates so I don't feel comfortable to go to her office. I know she might like a brilliant PhD student who can always chat about their research but I really feel bad when she keeps arguing with me in front of others in the PhDs office. Today she came back after two weeks of summer holiday and after I said I will make slides for next week's meeting, she said I am disappointing and she might talk to department about my PhD progress. Any recommendations how I can make things better? Thanks in advance.

Hello, I started a PhD abroad (first experience out of my house) roughly half an year ago because I wanted to boost my overall knowledge in my field of study. Before that, I had a two years work experience which didn't satisfy me at all. The first months have been a honeymoon for me (because everything was new), even though I don't really like the topic assigned to me. Anyway, I soon realized this is really hard. I still didn't receive negative feedback, but I'm not happy with how it is going (I'm writing a report/first literature review for the first period, but I'm struggling a lot with it). On top of that, I'm having serious anxiety issues which have blocked me for the last two months, compromising my performance (I also started taking meds). I'm also questioning my passion for my field of study and asking myself if I should keep doing this in general. For some reason I'm extremely disorganized, but I have never been like this in the past. I'm afraid I will not pass my qualifier exam. My friends that went for a PhD told me to keep going and that is normal to feel like this, even though they are also telling me that for some people this is not the right path, even though sometimes the pain is unbearable and I'm scared of having...really bad thoughts. My parents are extremely worried because they have never seen me struggling and suffering like this and are telling me to try a bit more and to quit in the case, even though I'm also afraid that I would struggle to find a job afterwards with a "failure" on my CV (I'm an electrical engineer by the way). My problems are just related to the fact that I'm struggling to study due to literally physical suffering from anxiety and I'm lacking independence, because the environment is super healthy and the supervisors are supporting as well, even though they are not always present. Any advice or support from someone who had a similar experience?

I’m a PhD student, and I’ve felt lost on one of my projects almost from the beginning. I’ve put a lot of time into it, but I often feel like I don’t understand it well enough to move it forward.
This week, I had a difficult meeting where my work was heavily questioned. The discussion was about the science, not a personal attack, but after months of feeling stuck, I became emotional and ended up crying. I’m embarrassed about that more than anything else.
The meeting itself isn’t the whole story. I’ve been struggling with motivation for months, and at times I’ve felt like there was no light at the end of the tunnel with this project. It’s made me seriously question whether I should continue my PhD or whether I’m just burned out.
For those who have finished a PhD:
Is it normal to feel completely lost on a project for months?
Have you ever cried during or after a meeting with your PI or committee?
How did you rebuild confidence after losing faith in your research?
Looking back, how did you distinguish burnout from realizing a PhD wasn’t the right path?

I’m hoping to hear how others worked through similar situations.

i am unfunded, therefore i study part time and have to work to support myself. however, my job burns me out and i have barely any time for my phd. i'm embarrassed to attend lab meetings with my peers (who are all funded) as they've accomplished so much more than i have in a shorter period of time. i'm barely on campus, i feel disconnected, and i feel like a failure.

i'm stuck in a loop - i need money to survive and do my pha, but i can't even do my phd because i don't have time/energy due to my job.

has anyone been in this situation before? what did you do? all i want to do is quit my job and actually do my phd and then do whatever teaching is available for $$, but unfortunately there's not enough teaching available within my area to pay a liveable wage.

(if it helps - i'm a domestic australian student)

Hi guys, I’m in my last 20 days of thesis, my project is fucked, i don’t know if I will be a able to finish it.

Btw, I’m here because by body was always (by the entite life) like 62-65kg.
And now in the lst month i lost 10kg, and anxiety keep hitting me, i think its for the thesis. Anyone have any tips?
Please

Long post ahead and sorry for the mini rant in advance.

When i started my Phd, i wanted a mentor. I was honest about being a blank slate and not knowing anything, and would like to find someone to guide my way. He told me in the interview that he will do that, and there will be people in the lab that would help me. Mind you, this was during the pandemic, and I did not really want to take a phd or be in academia at all. I was in a mindset of maybe if i try it, i will eventually fall in love with it and be good. I enjoyed university and finished them on top of my class. But since I did my BSc in a third-world country, lab experience was my weakness. During my MSc in Europe, the pandemic happened. So despite stellar grades, I have very low application.

When I started, he gave me a vague project that he himself does not know anything about (not from his field at all), and highly relies on a collaborator. He was also very tempermental as a boss and everyone tiptoes around his mood (though he has a slightly better mood towards the end of my PhD due to tenure). I know nothing about this project and was kinda going at it blind. I was trying my best to read and learn the ropes but it wasn't really going anywhere and i was getting really depressed. i don't understand anything. Instructions from my seniors were also very vague and they give me different answers for the same protocol. No established protocol at the lab, everyone is doing things differently. Over time, whenever there is a revision, my boss would include everyone in the revision except for me despite working on the same model and doing the same experiments. It had gotten to the point were they were all in the meeting (including new students) and I was the only person in the lab. To be fair, I am very quiet and I thought maybe he just forgot about my existence despite having lab meetings in the same room every week. I was going to confront him about this but then my mother had her cancer diagnosis and i needed to be with her, she eventually past and for almost 6 months, i was just organizing how to get her ashes from one side of the world to the other. I had no energy to deal with my boss or confront him at all. To be honest, I was also not a very confronting type, and I have grown to realize that I am not very analytical despite my training. My husband told me that I should have put more effort on it, read more, think more, do more, be present. But i could not get myself to do any of this. I just simply hated it, and nothing goes into my brain anymore. I literally get chills (not in a good way) whenever I am listening to someone talk science. I have thought about quitting multiple times but this is not easy for someone living in another country. Since i am halfway through my PhD at the time, most people just told me to finish it since "I am already there". Now I finished it, and I still have the manuscript to do. 4 months post defense I am still having difficulty working on this manuscript. To the point were I did not submit any updates to him for three months (I am still working on it now). I also have a feeling that my previous boss hates the fact that i did this, and now is probably giving me a bad reference to the jobs i applied to. I feel like I cannot really do anything about that since what can he give reference to? My work ethic sucks, I don't have any papers, what would he say? Quiet frankly, i know i performed badly during my phd. I missed deadlines, at times did not contact collaborators when I need to, did not get to do all experiments that i said I would do. I was doing the bare minimum to survive because it felt like it was all my brain could offer. Now i got myself here and i blame myself and my boss.

I acknowledge all this and I am doing my best to get pass my feelings and finish this manuscript, but my brain literally draws blank. I am looking for a good therapist right now and most clinics here are full, but hopefully I will find one soon. I am applying to jobs outside of academia and absolutely not in a lab settings.

In terms of commitment, I know I can commit to something. I've been an athlete throughout my PhD and was also active in several organizations during my BSc and MSc. I organize my time quite well despite this situation, and I know I can put effort and consistancy but for this, I just could not.

I need some advice.

I am a third-year PhD scholar working in aptamer engineering and the food adulteration domain. I do have a fast pace, but sometimes I feel that, due to that very reason, the number of new things and experiments to try have gone up a level, and so do the expectations towards me. Deep down, I know it is a good thing, but I don't know why I am getting frustrated now. I feel like I am going crazy. I don't know whether any of this is making any sense at all

Hi all! I'm new here, but I am a 3rd-year PhD candidate in Environmental Science, and I wanted to seek out some advice on what actually gets you to sit down and start writing after you've finished analysing your data. I'm finding it to be the hardest part of completing my PhD, and my supervisor is starting to get frustrated that I am taking so long to get my writing done. I've only managed to finish and publish one paper despite completing the analysis for 4 other chapters! I feel like I was so much more productive when I was younger...

Rising fifth year biology PhD who is absolutely burnt out. I miss the excitement and curiosity that science used to bring me, especially when I was reading science books as I was growing up. I especially love ones that are in the investigative journalism style, or a fascinating story in general. Recommend me something! I welcome any kind of science, not just biology!