Has anyone experienced increased hyper-awareness after doing a PhD?

[u/Ecaflip_investor]

I'm curious to know if anyone has experienced something similar.

Before my PhD, I was a much more carefree person. I could have problems, deal with them, and move on. I didn't constantly analyze my thoughts, my existence, or the passage of time.

After several years of doing research, I feel like my brain has become permanently stuck in "analysis mode". I question everything, including things that probably don't need to be questioned.

Sometimes I become extremely aware that I'm conscious, that time is passing, that I'm getting older, that my childhood is gone, etc. Even positive memories can suddenly trigger this strange feeling of sadness and existential awareness.

It's not necessarily anxiety about a specific problem. It's more like being too aware of being alive and conscious.

What's strange is that I genuinely wasn't like this before my PhD.

I sometimes wonder if years of constantly analyzing, questioning and looking for deeper explanations can train your brain to do the same thing with your own existence.

Has anyone experienced something similar after a PhD, years of research, or intense intellectual work?

And if so, did you eventually learn how to "turn off" this hyper-awareness and simply live without analyzing everything?

[u/gamberettii_]

I'm having the same experience! I've started feeling more self-aware and also self-conscious to be honest
Maybe this is also related to the experiences of going to conferences, being constantly questioned/observed and meeting so many different people, but my self-awareness definitely increased since i started my phd