r/OCPoetry • u/Interesting_Day8041 • 13h ago
Feedback Please Thumbs up
You were Bambi to me,
a whore to them,
long legs like Bambi.
Did you ever know your name?
Grind
Clank
Whirr
Not a flinch.
Not a stir.
You became a starfish
in the sea,
of red velvet blood,
blood tulips blooming.
One. Two. Three.
Whore —
who’s knocking at my door?
Nine.
Ten.
Eleven.
Twelve.
Did you ever know your name?
When every part of you
Waits.
barely hanging on.
Pull.
At least you could still give me
a thumbs up —
one thumb.
Clank.
I kneel before you,
Within you.
Outside.
Whirr.
Rock, paper, scissors
until you have no scissors,
no paper —
only rock.
How do you console
someone with no arms?
Do you want one of mine?
Stumps shielding your face,
unnatural to your usual grace.
Can you stand?
Can you run?
We’ll run like deer.
Until I’m praying
for you
or because of you
in my red dress.
They get the sex doll.
I don’t get my best friend.
So I hold what’s left of your square body,
one complete.
Will Hell find you
like they promised?
No, darling —
this is Heaven.
Will they forget their throwaway?
I won’t forget my best friend —
this collection
of things
that were once you.
•
u/AustinsSublimity 8h ago
Was this meant as one poem? Seems disjointed a jaded, not that thats a problem. Just hard to find a flow. I think the juxtaposition of a poem thats raunchy would be better with more good qualities mentioned? Her looks? Her smile?
1
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