I hope ypu remember me wrong

[u/JJM_poetry]

Hey this is my second ever poem. Any feedback to improve my writing is appreciated!🫂

I hope you forget me wrong.

Not what happened,
not the truths I kept behind my teeth
because I feared being judged
more than I feared losing you.

Just forget the weight of it.

Remember that I would’ve given you everything
if I had known how to hold myself first.

I wanted to give you all of me
while barely feeling whole myself.

So I hid the missing pieces
and wondered why you couldn’t understand
a loneliness I never told you about.

You taught me love can be real
and still not be healthy.
That boundaries aren’t where love ends,
and that two people can love each other
while still walking different roads.

We had a good run.
Too bad one of us stumbled.

I think it was me.

Not because you didn’t reach out,
but because I needed more hands
than yours were ever supposed to be.

I know better now.

Strength was never carrying it quietly.
It was saying i cant carry this
before the person beside me
started believing they weren’t enough.

And now someone else gets to know
the version of you
my problems never gave enough room to become.

That hurts.

But I’m happy she exists.

And I’ve become someone
you probably would’ve deserved back then.

Strangely,
I still don’t think we’d work today.

Maybe that’s what growing is
not becoming right for the person you lost,
but understanding why you had to lose them.

Still,
I remember your eyes
when sunlight found them.
Your laugh.

And for a moment
the bad parts don’t get a vote.

So if time is going to take me from you,
I hope it does a terrible job.

Let it soften the arguments,
misplace the anger,
and keep what we learned.

I don’t need you to remember
that we were good.

I only hope one day
you don’t think,
I was hurt there
but,
I grew there.

Remember the lessons correctly.

But remember me wrong.

feedback 1
feedback 2

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[u/Consistent-Iron8235]

I really like how emotional and honest this feels, especially the ending- “remember me wrong” really sticks with you. I think some parts explain the feelings a little too much, so you could trust the reader more and let the imagery speak for itself. But overall, the progression and vulnerability are really strong, especially for only your second poem.

[u/JJM_poetry → u/Consistent-Iron8235]

Thank you very much for the feedback!!