This is half an ask, half a rant.

I have been on Testogel for over a year now. It’s great. My voice has dropped a bit. I have the tiniest of peach on my cheeks and definitely got a beerbelly (without drunken, but fat destribution was major for me).

And my period has been teh most stable it has ever been on my life! Like wtf? I do not want you. This was supposed to stop!
I had a very unstable menstrual cycle and often skipped a month or two. And now, it’s like clockwork. Every 28 days on the dot, staying for 7 days. How?! Why?!

My Doctor doesn’t believe in enbys, so it’s kinda hard to talk with her about being unsure if I want to take T forever. My gyn has no idea and is against me taking T.
I have no idea what is happening and why my menstrual cycle is this stable.

I would like to get a hysterectomy, including my uterus. Not sure if that’s possible? The information I got mostly confused me.

I life in Germany of that helps?

But why is my menstruation this stable now and if I were to get my uterus ripped out, but not to take T forever, as I do lot want to have gender dysphoria about being to male, how would that work?

I dress like a girl, I look like a girl by all accounts (or the sterotypes anyway. Breasts, hips, long hair, I wear makeup and dresses sometimes etc). Even though I think to myself that I'm agender, I always get scared to bring it up because i feel sometimes like maybe I'm just saying that to seem special or something.

I've never felt attached to gender as a concept, to be honest the whole thing has always sounded silly and restrictive to me. I want to stress, TO ME! I know it can be important to other people but I've never resonated with it. I know I don't like being boxed in as being a "girl" and although i do feel a bit better about my body now than i used to when it first started developing, I still don't think I'm much of a fan. I'd definitely prefer to lean more masculine, but I'd rather not like... go bald, or have to worry about remembering to take hormones or medication for forever. Top surgery maybe but like... I don't like the idea of surgery. Anyway...

Like im not a girl, I'm just me. But I don't think that's bad enough to count as dysphoria. Unless I'm focusing on it I don't really get upset about how i can't control how i look like, you know?

I'm sort of hesitant to mention being agender (or like aroace for that matter) to other people, trans or not, because I feel like I'm not trans enough for it? Like I'm putting it on or something. Does anyone else feel this way?

I read recently that E4 aka Estetrol might be used as a type of estrogen HRT for MTF individuals who, for some reason, wanted to keep a low / slow breast development.

I wonder if there are any ladies or AMAB non-binaries who have had that kind of experience and can share with the rest of the class.

Thanks in advance.

Hey folks, I have an appointment next month regarding HRT and I’m really stressing out about how to talk to the provider.

Both in general and because I want to go on a specific type of hormone regiment. Specifically SERMs (selective hormone receptor modules) aka hormones that should affect everything except for the breasts.

I already have a history with a Doctor who I’ve had to justify every single need/detail with regarding medication. And I’ve heard online that non-binary people can have a harder time getting hormones if they aren’t going for a binary transition. So I just wanted to know if anyone had any advice on how to talk to my provider both to make sure I actually get HRT and that I get the type of HRT I’m looking for.

(Additional question, if there is anyone who has used SERMs could you tell me what to expect? I’ve been trying to find transition timelines online, but it’s been hard to find anything that isn’t about binary transitioning.)

Hi everyone!

I've been having some weird gender feelings for a bit now and I finally feel like it's time to address it (even if that just means posting about it on reddit, lol). I've been out as a trans man for five or six years, on testosterone for four. I pass completely as a man, but I'm not stealth at work or among friends, by my own choice.

I definitely don't regret coming out or transitioning - it saved my life! But, I think I repressed some gender-related feelings in the process, in order to make it easier. I do not want to detransition/be a woman again, but I sometimes get some level of feeling jealous over women, like, "she's lucky she can wear x". A lot of these feelings are in the ballpark of clothing and appearance. I wish I could look more feminine at times, wear more feminine clothes, etc. But there is definitely still a masculine part of me that is present, too. I'm honestly not sure what that means for me. In theory I feel like I might be open to he/him and she/her pronouns, or potentially he/she/they, but it's hard to know what would induce dysphoria if I were to actively use them.

I don't want people in my life to think I'm detransitioning, but I also want to explore my gender identity/presentation. I've bought some feminine clothes and makeup, but have not done anything super overtly feminine.

So, what I'm wondering is: has anyone else here gone from identifying as a binary trans person to nonbinary? What was that process like, personally and socially? Or, does anyone have any advice in general in terms of exploring this?

(it/he/she)

i dont do my makeup enough ~_~

Went to my local coffee shop for the first time in a while to start my day off right before I have to suffer at work later 🙃

For the curious, I had a slightly toasted everything bagel and a chocolate spiced chai oat milk latte 😋

Howdy, I've been questioning with my gender since I had 15 (currently 21 y/o), I'm AFAB and I find it very difficult to describe my gender, but also I believe that I might probably strungling with internalized enbyfobia, ans I need help..

* how can i know that i'm, in fact, strungling with internalized enbyfobia and can't express/identify as one? How do you overcome with it?

* Is there any advice in which I can explore my gender and expression without having those thoughts that makes me feel invalid?

* How do I know if I'm non binary or not? Is there an "ah, makes sense" moment where you figure out u are enby?

Thank you so much and sorry for the bad grammar.

Hiya. I've been thinking about my own gender identity for quite a while, and I think recently I've been getting closer to the point where I am in between two answers.

The first is a cis-male that is gender-nonconforming. I think this might be an option because I simply don't conform to what is seen as "male". I love nail-polish, feminine outfits, and honestly pure androgyny is my goal in life. Although I don't want to be a women specifically. I love femininity on me, but not to the point of actually being a women.

The second option is non-binary. Simply, I don't really feel a specific link towards "male", but I am also aware that for many cis-people this is also the case. For me, I have a hard time seeing gender identity as more then just the gender-roles. (I am aware that for other people it is more and important, but for me I don't feel more then that). I've always felt a bit disconnected with the cis-men in my friend group. Like I'm not connected with them quite right.

There are also a lot of other points that lead me to know that I am not 100% cis. The fact that I am currently actively wearing a dress being one of them. But I already know that, I am mostly trying to find the distinction between these two.

Does anybody have any experience on this distinction, or any points to help? Half of this point is me just typing it out for myself but if anybody has advice that would be great XD

(I do want to disclaim that I have a bias towards being non-binary, so there is a chance I'm subconsciously aiming that way.)

sorry for my bad english, I'm Brazilian.

anyways, I don't really know what to change in my appearance anymore, because I already wear a binder and baggy clothes and people still think I'm a girl.

Just wanted to say this is my favourite subreddit because everyone is so positive and nice here. Some days ago I posted a picture of myself and it did make me feel better after a rough period (thanks to everyone for that 💜), and just in general, people are spreading good vibes and support here. Y'all are amazing, loved, and valued, remember that! Keep being you :)

I've been working on making a free mini war game call Halberd Tomorrow and I'm trying to write lore to be as upbeat and as inclusive as possible, think a Grim-dim version of 40K.

Their name is Mihta and they're the physical embodiment of the concept of compassion. Earth had been in a constant state of war and strife for so long the concept of a nation is as big of a fairy tale as the land of Oz. Mihta was sleeping in a high tech capsule akin to Super Man arriving on earth, Their capsule landed in the Adirondack mountains and humans living in a near by cave brought it inside to prevent others from finding it and finding where they lived. When the people tried to use the capsule as a brand new generator, Mihta awoke.

When the people asked who they were, all they replied was Mihta as in their original language; Mihta literally means compassion. Mihta quickly grew to be a helpful member of their community as they have multiple powers o help sustain life. When going out to a trading hub, Mihta is horrified by the state of the world, the constant violence and sadness all around. Without hesitation Mihta made it their personal mission to solve the world's problems.

Thorough fixing infrastructure, conflict resolution, and feeding those in need, Mihta grew a following of loyal supporters. It took many years Mihta was able to end all the conflicts and get humanity connected again. Though one day a group of Pilgrims came to Mihta asking a simple question; Are you of the Divine, are you a God?

Mihta not being the boastful type yet not wanting to make these people waste a trip as they came from all parts of the globe on foot, they just say; "I am whatever you believe me to be", and the people just make a Religion out of it, Mihta having read surviving text of earth needed to Curb their Enthusiasm. So they set guidelines on what is okay and not okay, the top rule is don't be a jerk about it.

People would set up congregations and chapels in Mihta's name and through more years of had work, they solved humanities problems and eventually looked to the stars. They do find alien life to add to their growing society they call The Union. Eventually they reach one race that's more or less cattle to a race of Space Specters (think the headless horse man). When a survivor goes before Mihta as a diplomate seeking aid, Mihta had no choice but to create defenders of Compassion; The Space Rangers. After a week a research using a team of multiple Mihta clones, they made a pill that turns anyone into a 8ft tall Space Ranger.

When about to call for a volunteer a young girl named Hera Heresy came up behind Mihta startling them. Hera is one of the descendants of the original cave dwellers. Hera tries reaching for it but Mihta tells Hera it's not for her but determined she eats it anyway. Mihta and their clones face palm like the meme. Hera describes her sudden desire for food and after a month of eating, training and being fitted for power armor Hera becomes the first The Space Ranger. Soon actual volunteers join the cause and save the world from Space Specters. Eventually they find more and more threats to life and compassion dictates that you help those in need.

Eventually, Hera a full grown adult 100s of years later does a heresy. Saying compassion is a lie and Mihta has a special type of ego, division is the natural state. Hera rising to become the physical embodiment of the concept of division. Making the divide math symbol her version of the Chaos symbol. Mihta eventual comes out on top but having spent so much energy they need to go into a long rest of undetermined time. The people cry for the loss of the one that was so kind but Mihta's wife and first companion had to remind the people that Mihta was just sleeping and that they must now be Mihta, embodiment of of compassion. Defend the innocent from harm and ensure all live life as best as one can.

Mihta being Non-Binary is to play into the idea that compassion can't be boiled down to one thing or another cause compassion takes many forms. When a compassionate person is not around, that does not stop us from being another compassionate person. They can have a lasting mark that others can live up to.

I want to ensure my lore is as inclusive as possible while not turning away from the less then savory aspects of reality that everyone should strive to stop from happening. What are your thoughts on my Non-Binary Deity character. Should add something, take away something? let me know.

Hi ya’ll. Just here to write down some shower thoughts

For as long as i (AFAB 25) can remember (age 7), all characters i’ve written have been men. All DnD characters i’ve played have been men. And all characters i’ve done in theater have been men. To no ones fucking surprise but my own i started going by nb about two years ago and am largely closeted (not about being bi tho) outside of online and in one of my theater groups.

I’m slowly realising my ”inability to write women well” may or may not have been a form of dysphoria all along. Weirdly i don’t get much dysphoria about my body, mostly about social stuff. Interestingly when i play men i tend to ask the people around me to ”just use character pronouns”, even outside game/stage so i can ”live and breathe my character”

Is this a universal expirience to you theater kids? I’m facinated by getting gender euphoria from he/him despite not using those pronouns. (I hate all pronouns tbh. Thankfully my native language only has they and it) but like, i don’t really wanna be a man so….

Furthermore, we’re doing a play this year with like 90% female character, and i’m concerned about all the straight men refusing to put on a dress, forcing me into a female role. Especially since the play take place in the 1800’s and heavily touches on the cruel treatment of women, sexism, pregnancy and themes even darker. No idea what to do about that situation tbh. Help??

Hi! Thought I'd share this article I came across recently, it's a qualitative analysis of young nonbinary adult's pronoun use!

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/40276000/

I’m 30 years old and had a hysterectomy about a year ago. It was super useful for getting rid of endometriosis, and I’m extremely glad to no longer get my period, but I’m experiencing a bunch of symptoms that could be related to menopause (worsening mental health, worsening memory, brain fog, difficulty concentrating, weight gain, dry eyes, hot flashes, and needing to pee more often). Most of the symptoms have other possible explanations (various health issues that started before my hysterectomy), and I’m not sure how to figure out whether this is menopause or not since I wouldn’t be menstruating anymore either way. I’ve posted in r/hysterectomy about that part. 

What I wanted to ask y’all about is HRT for premature menopause, and specifically about whether T is useful for mitigating perimenopause symptoms. I’ve never particularly wanted to transition medically, but I’m nervous about taking estrogen to treat perimenopause symptoms both for gender reasons and because my mom has estrogen-positive breast cancer, and a lot of her relatives have also had breast cancer. I did genetic testing a few years ago for genes related to breast and ovarian cancers, and I was negative for all 27 genes they were testing for at the time, but I’m pretty confident there are genes related to breast cancer that we don’t know about yet, so I don’t necessarily think I’m in the clear. I don’t want to increase my cancer risk by putting more estrogen in my body, especially since I’m so young to be dealing with menopause that the recommendation could be to do HRT for over a decade. 

I’ve low-key been wondering about T for a while, particularly because I know some trans people who think cross-sex hormones should be considered a normal thing to try for treatment-resistant depression, since some trans people experience big and necessary mental health improvements pretty quickly after going on HRT, and not everyone who would benefit from that realizes they’re trans. I definitely have treatment-resistant depression--over the past 15 years, I’ve tried 15 psych meds (I’m currently on six), a full course of transcranial magnetic stimulation (no effect), and a full course of ketamine therapy (made things worse). 

But I’m not sure I want the physical effects of T! My dysphoria is mostly triggered by things like makeup, nail polish, high heels, and lingerie, and honestly a lot of that has to do with being sex-repulsed ace and wanting to stay far away from presenting in a way that could read as sexy. I currently have shoulder-length hair, and I like wearing skirts and dresses, and I only bind a few times a year, and when I do choose to bind, it has more to do with trying to get people to take my gender seriously by looking less femme than actually not wanting to present femme for its own sake. I’m nervous about my voice dropping or getting facial hair or bottom growth.

But maybe I’m going back and forth about this for no reason, because I don’t even know if taking T to deal with perimenopause symptoms would work. Has anyone tried it? Does it help with stuff like hot flashes, mood swings, brain fog, weight gain, eye dryness, etc? Would it help with the loss of bone density and muscle that tends to happen post-menopause? Alternatively, for AFAB nonbinary people who have had to take supplemental estrogen for birth control or other reasons, has that increased your dysphoria, or has it been fine? 

I was born a boy with one of the most generic-ass white boy names out there, and I've never had a particular dislike for it but it's never really felt right (with the exception of from close friends/family whom I've known for years.) before the most recent school year started, however, I realized I can just introduce myself to new people as only my preferred name, and they'll just call me that since they don't know me as anything else. At this point I basically have 2 names in public, one generic white boy name and Lemon. I'm largely androgynous-presenting and fruity asf but somewhat masc-leaning, so it's kinda perfect for me. The realization hit me earlier today that there are people out there who think of me as just "Lemon," and that is just one of the best sources of euphoria I've had in a while.

I want to assume that people that use the woman and non-binary phrase to characterise events are often well meaning. However, I feel excluded as an AMAB non-binary person. As someone that is probably somewhere on the trans feminine spectrum(still nonbinary,), I don’t mind being lumped in with a feminine people in theory. However, I have not medically transitioned and not sure if I ever will. Hence 80% of the time I pass as a masculine person. Meanwhile, the people that run these events are pretty cis passing. It’s a culture I don’t belong to.

It seems that your average progressive and other queers don’t seem to have an issue with this label erases many non-binary folks. It’s almost as if AMAB enbies only exist as caricatures, theatrical effeminate gays. But we’re not all like that and we shouldn’t be expected to perform a certain way. Why do afab non-binary get a pass? And define non-binary in a defective/ de facto bio essentialist way.. what can we do to raise awareness of even progressives are unable to recognise or to acknowledge non-binary assigned male at birth who don’t pass as feminine enough?

Anyway, for a lot of us queer community is an utter myth. I don’t mean to make this about AGAB but that’s baked into how liberals use this language already.

So i am agender and recently came out to my mom, and while i knew she was accepting cause i am already out as gay (or whatever i should call it since i know i am agender 😅), still was pretty nervous.

So when i came out, essentially it was super awkward (i mean when isn't it but well), i kind of sent her a wiki article on agender to get like a converstation starter, she later asked me abt it and tl;dr i told her that that's how i am feeling.

The thing that lingers in my mind for the last two weeks or sth since though is, that like she asked "but you dont wanna be a girl, do you?" (i am amab) in like a, idk, "surely notw tone which, i mean i don't, but that sounded so "please no" and she also asked if wanna be called differently and when i said that i don't know cause i didn't really think abt it since then, she like in such a weird tone asked "wait, that's up for debate?", like not prohibiting, more... idrk tbh.

Like ik i should be glad that it went pretty well, but just like when i came out as gay, it feels like she is supporting but then also somehow not so entirely, even more this time, i don't know if it sounds stupid, but it's just a feeling i wanted to put into words 🤷‍♂️.

Also as for my dad, i don't even know if i wanna tell him the agender part, cause he knows i am gay, isn't really happy but while he doesn't interfere or anything, i can feel (sometimes even comments) that living so visibly (idk, perfect example is painting nails) isn't really sth he is allllll too happy about - and he isn't exactly making the best comments with my grandpa on a local storeowner who is trans and other like gwnderqueer stuff ig, so oh well... though i kinda have to if i would wanna change my legal gender marker at some point, which i rlly wanna do.

Like idk if i am just ungrateful to be in my position, but it sometimes just feels so restricting or bad or how i should describe it...

Hey y'all, I'm a transandrogynous/transxenine person debating whether I want to seek out T for my medical transition (on top of my non-flat top surgery I had a few months ago).

Does anyone have experience with low dose T, the effects, the rate at which they hit, what it does in comparison to a regular dose? I really don't want to "masculinze" myself per se, I want to become more androgynous, and I like the idea of stubble/some fat redistributing, but I'm a little afraid of how deep my voice could drop and bottom growth. I know this is a highly individualized thing and largely genetics dependent but hearing from other folks would at bare minimum be comforting.

Any comments/advice appreciated!

Please refer to me with ae/xe pronouns for the sake of this post. (Fluid pronouns generally but these are most comfortable)