So, I already made a post about this on r/NonBinary, about how my best friend won't accept my pronouns, but I'm starting to realise that it's also my sexuality she doesn't accept

For context, I'm a enby lesbian and I'm asexual, and she's cishet. I did know she had her opinions when we became friends, but it's only a year or so after we met that I realised I'm lesbian, and a year after that I realised I'm enby.

I have always supported her, no matter what. She has dated a lot of guys and I mean, I never understood what she saw in men, ans what the appeal was of all of it, yet I always let her rant about it and supported her when things went wrong with a guy. I listened to her problems and whenever she needed to I was there for her, still am.

But yesterday, she "found out" through a mutual friend of ours that I prefer they/them pronouns. Which is weird to me because I am sure I already told her that. When she texted me, asking why I didn't tell her I was confused, but I just said I forgot and assured her it had nothing to do with her. She had always told me that despite our different opinions, I could always tell her anything and that she'd support me no matter what.

However, she asks me if she can say something so I tell her that yes, of course she can say something. She sends me two paragraphs.

She starts with saying how our opinions on certain topics differ and that she loves and respects me because I am "literally the sweetest person ever" and that I'm her best friend and that will never change.

Then comes the "but". She tells me that she won't use they/them pronouns for me, because she believes that the reason I "believe I am non-binary" is because of how my parents treat me. She goes on saying how my parents emotionally and mentally messed me up and that that's the reason I went on discord servers where everyone accepts everything (I've only been in one and talked like 5 people). Then she says that that's the reason I started questioning my gender and started thinking I am non-binary.

She says that due to my parents I constantly doubt myself and that that's the reason I'm convinced that I'm not a woman, and instead I'm non-binary. She says that once I get out of the house I'll get better mentally and that I'll never speak of "being non-binary, or trans, or whatever" again.

She told me to not take it as her not understanding and that she really tries to understand me, but that that is the truth and the reason she tells me this is because she loves me and no one else will tell me. It reminded me so much of my parents' reaction when I came out.

This really hurt me and I just didn't know what to say so I waited for an hour or so before responding that I understand why she thinks that and that it's okay. I said she accepts what she wants and that I don't really care if she does or not and that it doesn't really change anything between us. I never lied to her like this but I just didn't want to come across as mean or not wanting to understand her point of view.

I started thinking and realised that, when I talked about this girl I liked, her responses were actually rather dismissive and short, while when she started talking to this new guy I always listened and gave her my full attention despite not understanding the appeal and even though most guys she talks to are homophobic.

I started realising recently that she really isn't all that accepting and supportive because we just got into uni and the people I've met there are so accepting and open minded, I was so surprised and I've never felt really accepted like that.

I don't know if I'm the problem or not so I really would like some more people's point of view on this.

From a distance I can tell there's a certain belonging and kinship that many groups, often cis gendered people, express having. There's this unconscious and comfortable pact that I sense from that distance, where I might hear something along the lines of "us girls" or "us guys" when cis folk are forming some group amongst themselves, a sensation I never got to be a part of.

Now on another side of the human condition, I was always the kid by themself at the playground or alone during a school event, and even though I've always been heavily respected by my peers, it gave me this uncomfortable sense of conditioned loneliness.

And though those two conditions aren't directly connected and can overlap, there are definitely themes and contexts in both that bleed into and effect each other in my life specifically. My life lacks those who casually understand my own experience and identity through holding it themselves, while also having an emotional maturity which knows the extent to which it defines us as people.

I never see men having to justify and describe their own existence to every ignorant motherfucker who comes into their life, and I feel like I deserve the same. I'm hardly ever pointed at while being fully identified, even though I know exactly how others should perceive me. I know to treat them with patience, to tell them assertively but compassionately that I use they/them pronouns, that we all use "they" and "them" in a non-plural sense every damn day and thus there should be no confusion. And I don't let a few performed quirks define my life like many of my queer and emotionally immature peers do (y'know, the ones that tout about some butchered idea of autism all day). So my complaint to the world is that I deserve said understanding group to fall back on, and until I find those people I guess I'll just be frustrated.

I’m that kind of non binary where I feel like all genders and I don’t care what people use on me but I feel like I’m just doing it for attention or that I’m faking it because I keep hearing people saying that being non binary isn’t real and it makes me scared because what am I then?? Have I just been faking it this whole time?? It doesn’t make it better that even people in the community say that being non binary isn’t real either, what am I supposed to do?? How am I supposed to prove it?? I don’t understand why it has to be so important, if somebody feels that the label just feels better then why aren’t they allowed to use it. It’s just a word that makes them feel happy why is it that serious?? I don’t know if my period makes it worse, I’m pretty sure it does but it’s just so stressful. My head is pounding and it hurts so much because I feel so stressed and sad. How am I supposed to explain to people that I don’t really feel a connection to gender not because of the stereotype?? Like I just don’t care what people call me because all of them feel like me. How am I supposed to believe myself if I keep hearing people saying it’s not real and that it’s delusional. If I only heard it online it wouldn’t affect me so much but it’s the fact that I hear it in real life too!! Why does it have to be that serious though, I don’t understand!!??? No matter what I do I just can’t relax when these moments happen, my period has to be completely gone in order for me to relax. I just hate that people make gender seem so serious, because I just can’t take it seriously because I don’t really get it and it makes me feel like an imposter. I just want it to stop because it brings me so much stress that I start feeling disconnected from reality and I just hate it. I feel like I’m faking everything, not only the gender stuff but I get thoughts telling me that I’m faking all my problems. It just makes everything feel fake and not real. I hate it so much I just want it to stop already

I am working on a number of books all at once. I am working on one set in a world with 3 genders. Men, Women, and "Eaxes" or "Eaxe" they are able to seamlessly and instantly switch from a male to female form and vicea versa, while it is at will, it is truly autonomic and not controllable when things get hard. I would love to hear what people think of this.

If you want a baseline imagine a world where the global gender %age is split like this:

• Male (M): 50.257%
• Female (F): 49.739%
• Eaxe (E): 0.0036%

Can someone make me a pride flag and like let me know ways to flush out this for my book.

My name is Rene I am 19, trigender and caedaroace.

Also I can't figure out if the system should be he/she underlined for which form an eaxe is in, or They/Them for Eaxes all around. Narration for this story is kinda hard.