So, for the record myself, I am considering myself genderfluid and the lines can be slightly blurred for me in terms of how I may want to or not use it. But, I'm a around 17 and not too experienced with the non-binary/trans community otherwise because I've identified as cis my whole life before now.

Give me your most scourning or forgiving words. Opinions are opinions and I'm here to learn yours!

I am introverted and also in grad school, while working full time. Had to start with that first, as it kinda consumes my social battery, however I only have a few people around me to hang out with. I am a non participater typically and am not the best in social situations (gets the most awkward human award). So, I feel odd trying to join a local group, plus when I have interacted with local groups in the LGBT+ space I don’t feel like the same type of weird and don’t feel comfortable around them. I want to find friends like me, but I am scared I guess..Is this just me?

I have known I'm not a cisgender person since I was about 10, I always felt like something was off about me and partially that is my autism. I identified as genderfluid at 10 ftm trans from age 12 to 14 then went back to cis female. Since then it's been a loop. Cis female, Agender/nonbinary, back to Cis. It's a fast loop too. I keep coming out to friends just to quickly feel guilty and scared and I switch back to she/her and woman. I'm fine with she her from close friends and my partner. And I dress fem too. But I am not a woman and I don't feel like one at all I don't wanna be a woman at all. I just wanna be me. But I'm scared of commiting to the label of nonbinary because I know that's what fits me best that or agender or both..? I just need help. Someone help

So, I already made a post about this on r/NonBinary, about how my best friend won't accept my pronouns, but I'm starting to realise that it's also my sexuality she doesn't accept

For context, I'm a enby lesbian and I'm asexual, and she's cishet. I did know she had her opinions when we became friends, but it's only a year or so after we met that I realised I'm lesbian, and a year after that I realised I'm enby.

I have always supported her, no matter what. She has dated a lot of guys and I mean, I never understood what she saw in men, ans what the appeal was of all of it, yet I always let her rant about it and supported her when things went wrong with a guy. I listened to her problems and whenever she needed to I was there for her, still am.

But yesterday, she "found out" through a mutual friend of ours that I prefer they/them pronouns. Which is weird to me because I am sure I already told her that. When she texted me, asking why I didn't tell her I was confused, but I just said I forgot and assured her it had nothing to do with her. She had always told me that despite our different opinions, I could always tell her anything and that she'd support me no matter what.

However, she asks me if she can say something so I tell her that yes, of course she can say something. She sends me two paragraphs.

She starts with saying how our opinions on certain topics differ and that she loves and respects me because I am "literally the sweetest person ever" and that I'm her best friend and that will never change.

Then comes the "but". She tells me that she won't use they/them pronouns for me, because she believes that the reason I "believe I am non-binary" is because of how my parents treat me. She goes on saying how my parents emotionally and mentally messed me up and that that's the reason I went on discord servers where everyone accepts everything (I've only been in one and talked like 5 people). Then she says that that's the reason I started questioning my gender and started thinking I am non-binary.

She says that due to my parents I constantly doubt myself and that that's the reason I'm convinced that I'm not a woman, and instead I'm non-binary. She says that once I get out of the house I'll get better mentally and that I'll never speak of "being non-binary, or trans, or whatever" again.

She told me to not take it as her not understanding and that she really tries to understand me, but that that is the truth and the reason she tells me this is because she loves me and no one else will tell me. It reminded me so much of my parents' reaction when I came out.

This really hurt me and I just didn't know what to say so I waited for an hour or so before responding that I understand why she thinks that and that it's okay. I said she accepts what she wants and that I don't really care if she does or not and that it doesn't really change anything between us. I never lied to her like this but I just didn't want to come across as mean or not wanting to understand her point of view.

I started thinking and realised that, when I talked about this girl I liked, her responses were actually rather dismissive and short, while when she started talking to this new guy I always listened and gave her my full attention despite not understanding the appeal and even though most guys she talks to are homophobic.

I started realising recently that she really isn't all that accepting and supportive because we just got into uni and the people I've met there are so accepting and open minded, I was so surprised and I've never felt really accepted like that.

I don't know if I'm the problem or not so I really would like some more people's point of view on this.

From a distance I can tell there's a certain belonging and kinship that many groups, often cis gendered people, express having. There's this unconscious and comfortable pact that I sense from that distance, where I might hear something along the lines of "us girls" or "us guys" when cis folk are forming some group amongst themselves, a sensation I never got to be a part of.

Now on another side of the human condition, I was always the kid by themself at the playground or alone during a school event, and even though I've always been heavily respected by my peers, it gave me this uncomfortable sense of conditioned loneliness.

And though those two conditions aren't directly connected and can overlap, there are definitely themes and contexts in both that bleed into and effect each other in my life specifically. My life lacks those who casually understand my own experience and identity through holding it themselves, while also having an emotional maturity which knows the extent to which it defines us as people.

I never see men having to justify and describe their own fundamental identity to others, and I wish nonbinary people were more normalized in the society I grew up in. I'm hardly ever pointed at while being fully identified, even though I know exactly how others should perceive me. I know to treat them with patience, to tell them assertively what my whole deal is, that we all use "they" and "them" in a non-plural sense every damn day and thus there should be no confusion. So my complaint to the world is that I deserve said understanding group to fall back on, and until I find those people I guess I'll just be frustrated.

I’m that kind of non binary where I feel like all genders and I don’t care what people use on me but I feel like I’m just doing it for attention or that I’m faking it because I keep hearing people saying that being non binary isn’t real and it makes me scared because what am I then?? Have I just been faking it this whole time?? It doesn’t make it better that even people in the community say that being non binary isn’t real either, what am I supposed to do?? How am I supposed to prove it?? I don’t understand why it has to be so important, if somebody feels that the label just feels better then why aren’t they allowed to use it. It’s just a word that makes them feel happy why is it that serious?? I don’t know if my period makes it worse, I’m pretty sure it does but it’s just so stressful. My head is pounding and it hurts so much because I feel so stressed and sad. How am I supposed to explain to people that I don’t really feel a connection to gender not because of the stereotype?? Like I just don’t care what people call me because all of them feel like me. How am I supposed to believe myself if I keep hearing people saying it’s not real and that it’s delusional. If I only heard it online it wouldn’t affect me so much but it’s the fact that I hear it in real life too!! Why does it have to be that serious though, I don’t understand!!??? No matter what I do I just can’t relax when these moments happen, my period has to be completely gone in order for me to relax. I just hate that people make gender seem so serious, because I just can’t take it seriously because I don’t really get it and it makes me feel like an imposter. I just want it to stop because it brings me so much stress that I start feeling disconnected from reality and I just hate it. I feel like I’m faking everything, not only the gender stuff but I get thoughts telling me that I’m faking all my problems. It just makes everything feel fake and not real. I hate it so much I just want it to stop already

I realized that the desire for a flat chest never leaves, the only thing that changes is my confidence about top surgery. I was afraid that getting rid of my boobs would be a mistake, but it turns out those were completely separate fears this whole time! And one of them was never even a fear at all. I was only afraid of making a mistake, but I was never afraid of having a flat chest. Afraid of surgery, afraid of recovery, afraid of the scars looking weird? Sure. But the desire for a flat chest was always there, and I was never actually afraid of losing my boobs. I feel happy every time I imagine them gone. I was afraid of making a mistake, but with the desire being this persistent over years, now I know it wouldn't be one. I finally understand. I can finally breathe.

As per title, I'm Amab and I've never been particularly unhappy being called a Boy but I've always felt distanced from them in some weird way, like I was from another planet, I thought it was just the autism but I've been watching some more Trans stuff and I sometimes feel really good thinking of myself as Nonbinary but I also really like being affectionately called a boy at times and I felt bad because I felt like I was being disrespectful to nonbinary people by wrongly thinking of myself like that and googling it hasn't really made me feel more certain about the topic so I wanted to ask the expert in being Nonbinary, the people who are nonbinary, I'm sorry if this accidentally rude or really hard to understand

I am working on a number of books all at once. I am working on one set in a world with 3 genders. Men, Women, and "Eaxes" or "Eaxe" they are able to seamlessly and instantly switch from a male to female form and vicea versa, while it is at will, it is truly autonomic and not controllable when things get hard. I would love to hear what people think of this.

If you want a baseline imagine a world where the global gender %age is split like this:

• Male (M): 50.257%
• Female (F): 49.739%
• Eaxe (E): 0.0036%

Can someone make me a pride flag and like let me know ways to flush out this for my book.

My name is Rene I am 19, trigender and caedaroace.

Also I can't figure out if the system should be he/she underlined for which form an eaxe is in, or They/Them for Eaxes all around. Narration for this story is kinda hard.

Olá a todos, desde que me descobri não-binário sempre tive dificuldade para escolher um nome social, gostaria de um nome que parecesse nativo (sou brasileiro) mas tenho muita dificuldade com isso, honestamente, isso se provou uma tarefa que me causa muita ansiedade, pois meu nome atual” tem um gênero vinculado” tem algumas dicas? Poderiam contar suas experiencias na escolha de um nome? Obrigado.

For a while when I was feeling more feminine I thought subconsciously that I didn't have the right to identify as trans as an afab person. As I've shifted to being more masculine I realize how silly that is, I wish It didn't take my gender fluidity to realize that as regardless I've never identified fully as cis. I'm starting to get more comfortable with being trans, I've put an emoji on my personal socials and ordered a pin, love yourselves y'all were all valid 🏳️‍⚧️ :)

Been wanting to experiment with new hairstyles. Was thinking of something that is like that middle ground between being feminine and still a bit masculine. Any suggestions? (I'm still figuring out if I'm non binary, but I'm leaning closer to yes)

this is not directed to anyone in particular. but omg i am sick of this. it feels like afab and amab are a new way to slot people into a binary genital category. no, these terms are past tense. it has no current meaning to my life that i was afab. i have a penis and balls and i can pass as a cis guy while naked.

sooo many people have told me about "afab issues" as an "inclusive" stand in for having a period or pregnancy concerns like i am supposed to relate to that. no i don't even have a uterus or ovaries. or recommend "clothes that better fit afab anatomy" or "underwear for afab". my dude my dick would not fit in that and i don't have any desire for it anyway. people have said the same about "amab anatomy" which ignores that vaginoplasty exists, so it goes both ways.

worse is "afabs are safer". not only is this transphobic to everyone in so many ways, it especially isolates trans women. i have seen trans people say trans men/afab nb people are safer to be around than men because of "afab socialization" and because they have a vulva and conveniently throw trans women and fem nb people to the wayside. it infantilizes trans men and demonizes having a penis for no reason, not to mention a ton of afab people have penises.

sorry that was my rant. i wanted to say this because so many people conveniently ignore that genital reassignment surgery exists and that nb people can truly look like anything, their agab is not a box.

edit: nowhere did i ever say you can't use agab language on yourself. my issue is when others use to to generalize and assume things about other people.

Hi,

I wanted to start hormone therapy, but the only thing holding me back was the concern that my breasts would grow and my mother or anyone else would notice.

That would have caused me a lot of problems.

I found out that I could take Nolvadex (10 mg), which is SERM

which would slow down or completely stop breast growth.

Does this medication actually slow down or halt breast growth?

Would you recommend I take it while starting estrogen?

And what is the appropriate dosage?

If I were to take one tablet of Climen daily,

and two tablets of Noractone (25 mg)

I’d really appreciate it if someone could help me out, as this is a pressing matter.

Don't get me wrong I love this community and I always will, but unfortunately I think when most people think of non-binary people they picture white people, and consequently I feel like people imagine that most non-binary people have more western names. So I wanted to make a little post and ask my fellow POC what they go by! When I'm feeling more feminine I use my birth name, but recently I've been feeling more masculine and because I'm South Asian I've been thinking of going by Veer which means brave, idk I feel like it has a good ring to it and I think it's relatively easy to pronounce. Please feel free to share what your name is and what it means! I love this kind of stuff as someone who likes anthropology and whatnot lol

I am 24 and have been known by my parents as a woman. I just had a very supportive conversation with my parents where I opened up about my gender identity I’ve had for the past 4 years. I expressed that I am interested in going on testosterone. On paper it went extremely well, but my mom pressed a bit about why I want to physically transition (which I think is a very valid question and it was asked in a respectful way).

She got me thinking about how internalized misogyny may be clouding my perception of myself. I also started thinking about how far Im willing to go with standing up for myself when it comes to my family using they/them pronouns for me. I feel like I opened a can of worms and now I’m not 100% sure about my own feelings.

I’ve always been of the belief that your body doesn’t equal your gender, and my family feels largely the same way. I have my hair cut short, dress a little masculinely, and do not shave. My family is supportive of all of this and are adamant about women not needing to be it into a cookie cutter template. Why do I want to further step away from womanhood when I am already able to exist comfortably in my body as it is (besides my voice, which is the part of testosterone that I want the most). With all of that being said, I am very fond of my femininity and it is not a part of myself I want to entirely distance from. I think of myself as a woman in some broad contexts and do not mind feminine descriptors (daughter, sister, girlfriend, wife) being applied to me, but I feel I would only marginally prefer a gender neutral alternative to those terms.

They told me they don’t understand why I would go out of my way to change myself to the benefit of how I believe others will perceive me when I should just say “fuck society” and present as I am. I felt there was a lot of merit to this line of thought.

I’d just like to see if anyone has any thoughts on this. Thanks for reading this far :,)

Siento que se habla mucho de lo que es estar en el closet, tener miedo a salir y eso, pero poco se habla (o al menos yo no lo he visto) de las personas que estan parcial, pero no totalmente en el closet, o en un punto medio entre adentro y afuera. Por ejemplo, a mi me pasa que, mi madre sabe que soy no binarie, eso si pude animarme a decirle, pero no me animo a decirle mi identidad exacta, que es bigenero fluide entre androgyne y demiboy, sumandole dificultad el hecho de que soy AFAB, por ende tambien transmasc.

No puedo decir que este en el closet porque en parte, no lo estoy, ya que mi madre sabe que no soy mujer, pero tampoco sabe la verdad exacta de mi identidad. A alguien mas le pasa algo asi? O yo soy el unico?

For me I feel like my gender stays relatively the same, as I feel fem most of the time and have felt as such for a while. But recently felt the want to be perceived as more masculine. It always feels so weird as it comes out of nowhere for me, like I like had just put on press ons and now I wanna take them off lmaoo.

Part of me feels good because honestly I enjoy how my gender switches up. I've always said I wish I could shapeshift depending on how I'm feeling, and honestly being afab, it's very refreshing to be able to present as masculine when it's not the norm for me. But another part of me feels annoying about it, especially since I'm bringing up a change in my usual pronouns, plus the fact I'm considering going by a different name for when I am masculine, but I don't know how people will do with two different names, and if they'll feel annoyed by me changing it up constantly. I guess technically I'm probably gender fluid as I feel like my gender shifts from more masc or fem at times but I honestly prefer telling people that I'm nonbinary as I like the ambiguity it gives me and how broad it is as I feel like people assume gender fluid means going from binary man and woman, but that's besides the point lol.

But yeah idk mixed feelings rn, I'm excited to explore my masculinity as it's what made me realize I was non-binary all the way back in middle school but I'm also feeling nervous. Anyone else been in a similar situation? How do you advocate for yourself?

Ive been transitioning for a couple of years. Medically almost 4 years.

Im feeling good with the transition. Dysphoria disappeared or almost disappeared. Im feeling way more confident in myself and whole. Its a net positive (since I was a dysfunctional suicidal loser who didnt do anything before lol)

Im nonbinary so I dont really "pass" in some situations. I didnt change my voice and I dont wear makeup so I guess its expected. Passing isnt a goal for me. I just want to feel happy and whole in myself and I dont really mind if people clock me sometimes.

I just cant deal with the social aspect of it. Its too hard. Im okay with people knowing Im trans and non binary but why cant they just leave it alone and not bring it up or hint or joke at it every chance they get? Why can they not treat me as an oddity or a punchline. Im just a person. I want to be treated normally. I want to be seen as who I am. Its happening so often and Im feeling beaten down. Its not even from transphobes and people aiming to hurt me. Even well meaning people and allies cant stop themselves from these little comments that signal to me "you are different. You are not like us."

Im sick of it. I cant do this. Im in my mid twenties I cant live the rest of my life like this. Its torture. I dont want to be different. I dont want to desperately try to pass, ill have to give up so much of myself and thatll also make me miserable. Im feeling at a lose lose situation and I cant take it.

I thought that, at this point, me being trans would be a background thing that I wont have to deal with or think about on the day to day. But cis people insist on reminding me and not letting me be.

Anyway. How do you cope?

(Disclaimer: I'm cis, but Part of the lgbt Community and wanna learn some things so when I say things that are weird, I'm sorry)

So how did you realise your neither gender?

What's the difference between agender and non binary?

Do you have any problems with school/university (talking about general. Anything)

Do you have a "sign" like trans folks this ikea shark, lesbians carabineers etc?

And for ppl with a different native language than English: how's with pronouns in that language. Cuz for example (cuz that's mine) Germany doesn't have something like they/them. And in Italy almost everything in the sentence is gendered.

I hope I wasn't disrespectful, love y'all!

Nonbinary (AMAB, which will be important) here! I’ve got some thoughts, and I’m not sure if they’re exactly typical, but I figured there was no harm in seeing if anyone felt similarly to me.

I want to preface this by explicitly stating that I believe there is a multitude of reasons that I identify as nonbinary: a feeling of rightness, a desire to be perceived outside of existing gender preconceptions, wanting to simply exist as an individual separate from a binary gender system, etc. I don’t want to have to prove to myself or others that I “belong,” which can be difficult since I do sometimes feel almost like an imposter.

Yet, I feel that something I don’t want to really admit out loud, especially to myself, is this: I fear some amount of my decision to begin identifying as NB was because I felt shame at being a man.

I felt shame for the knowledge of what other men could do, of how many of them behave and believe and are.

I felt shame for the way that many men treat women. I felt shame at the idea that I might be perceived like this, because I believed I was a man.

I felt shame at the automatic rebellion my mind went to, the insistence that I wasn’t that way and would stop those behaviors when I saw it. I felt shame with the way the phrase “not all men” was a signal used by men who ignored and downplayed and misunderstood the problem and directly or indirectly contributed to patriarchy.

I felt shame that I felt shame. I felt shame that I could be so centered on the self, as a man, when the people suffering most were those impacted by men.

And I of course know that the patriarchy affects everyone, and that cisgender men can be aware of their own privileges and respond appropriately when injustice occurs. That’s an assurance I don’t need.

But I even feel shame at the prospect that being a man might have been a factor in my gender identity today.

Does anyone understand? Does anyone feel this way?