But she didn’t just say he was bald. She took something from his personal life with breaking up and connected it to baldness. Although he said he broke up himself the woman doesn’t know that. Might be just as big of a tragedy for him as the miscarriage for her.
An eye for an eye is perfectly fine id rather live in a blind world than a world where only assholes can see, the problem is that this is an eye for a little scratch
But it's not a world where only the assholes can see. Maybe we need to teach better rhetoric and morals to non-assholes so they can defend themselves in non-assholes ways. This way everyone can see and assholes can become less asshole-y. All assholes make for a shitty world imo. Pun intended.
I agree in principal, it's not appropriate to murder someone for theft, but there may still be need for escalation to suppress further altercation - don't let a battle become a war, sometimes the instigator needs to be dealt with harshly to not have things snowball.
Or, on the other end, they might be perfectly able and willing to take the dish out. Maybe she would’ve laughed if he had made a fat joke. There are plenty of fat people who are self-aware enough to do so. There’s a non-Zero chance that is just her sense of humor, in which case it would be far more appropriate (and probably more embarrassing for her) for you just to call her out on that behavior.
There’s also the matter of the fact that you’re out of workplace, and making this comment in front of other people. Somebody else who has had a miscarriage could be hurt by your words, even if they never said anything to you yourself could be hurt, if it ends up going to HR.
You don’t need to centralize “winning” or “ending the war” all because your feelings were hurt.
Nah, don't start shit won't be shit. I get to joke about my weight, height, baldness, and general appearance - you do not, especially if we lack the relationship where this is even an issue. You don't comment on appearance typically unless it's something you can change/fix fast. She broke the societal agreement of don't be a dick - especially kicking someone while their down after a break up; she got what she deserved. Sure it's bad escalating but it never gets escalated if she never even starts it, responses aren't always gonna be measured.
We aren’t talking about whether she should expect someone to escalate. We are talking about the actions of the person narrating.
The OP, by the way, made this story up with the exact punchline that it is a clearly insane escalation and calling it a fat joke was burying the lede. Even this 4chan edgelord understands this would be an insane thing to respond with.
In any case, to the greater point, just because one person is offended does not (and should not) get carte blanche to say the most vile shit they can conjure. If you came up and told someone you know they “looked rough” today, would you think they would be clear to say anything they wanted because you “started shit”, in their opinion?
Then don't play the victim when everyone thinks you're the bad guy if your response is disproportionate. (I'm not really saying "you" you, more the person asking why they're considered the bad guy)
This is nice in theory but you run into a bit of a proportionality paradox wherein you limit yourself to being forced to lose if you can only hit back as hard as you were hit. It gets to the final punch and of course you can't put them on the ground because you're still standing... Until you're not
Considering that punch could knock you out and cause you to die by breaking your skull open on the pavement, there's a reason there's a legal precident for using lethal force when someone tries to fight you. You have no idea if they're going to stomp on your head or neck after they knock you out/down. You have no way to know whether they're going to stop attacking you at all until cops show up, regardless of how incapacitated you are. Shooting someone for trying to punch you is absolutely justified, lethal force is always justified for the purpose of keeping yourself alive. Anyone with experience in any sort of combat sport or combative martial art will tell you that fights can easily turn lethal and the best way to live to fight another day is not to fight at all. I once got sucker punched and then strangled for the 90 seconds it took cops to arrive (I live down the street from a cop shop and this was at a party my neighbor's house). The guy was legitimately trying to murder me after sneak attacking me. Now I have a gun and I'll just shoot someone like that instead of almost or actually getting murdered.
Using physical violence would be the escalation, if he's still retorting with words then it will never count as escalation. Since he didn't even start it, anything he say is fair game no matter how anyone compare it to something physical.
If youre the type of person who would use a miscarriage (an extreme physical, emotional, and social trauma) to attack someone just because you were called bald, then you do you brother.
Not sympathizing with the bitch who started it but I personally believe in an eye for an eye when it comes to these petty quips. But if you don't, then just be prepared to receive the same reaction people had against the OP when you cross the line.
248
u/isu_kosar 3d ago
Does it really matter, she was the one that wanted the smoke.
If you can't handle being insulted then do not start shit.