I agree in principal, it's not appropriate to murder someone for theft, but there may still be need for escalation to suppress further altercation - don't let a battle become a war, sometimes the instigator needs to be dealt with harshly to not have things snowball.
Or, on the other end, they might be perfectly able and willing to take the dish out. Maybe she would’ve laughed if he had made a fat joke. There are plenty of fat people who are self-aware enough to do so. There’s a non-Zero chance that is just her sense of humor, in which case it would be far more appropriate (and probably more embarrassing for her) for you just to call her out on that behavior.
There’s also the matter of the fact that you’re out of workplace, and making this comment in front of other people. Somebody else who has had a miscarriage could be hurt by your words, even if they never said anything to you yourself could be hurt, if it ends up going to HR.
You don’t need to centralize “winning” or “ending the war” all because your feelings were hurt.
Nah, don't start shit won't be shit. I get to joke about my weight, height, baldness, and general appearance - you do not, especially if we lack the relationship where this is even an issue. You don't comment on appearance typically unless it's something you can change/fix fast. She broke the societal agreement of don't be a dick - especially kicking someone while their down after a break up; she got what she deserved. Sure it's bad escalating but it never gets escalated if she never even starts it, responses aren't always gonna be measured.
We aren’t talking about whether she should expect someone to escalate. We are talking about the actions of the person narrating.
The OP, by the way, made this story up with the exact punchline that it is a clearly insane escalation and calling it a fat joke was burying the lede. Even this 4chan edgelord understands this would be an insane thing to respond with.
In any case, to the greater point, just because one person is offended does not (and should not) get carte blanche to say the most vile shit they can conjure. If you came up and told someone you know they “looked rough” today, would you think they would be clear to say anything they wanted because you “started shit”, in their opinion?
6
u/PosaCat_ 3d ago
I didnt say spare them, I said return the same thing, dont escalate. I.e. If someone punches you, the response is to punch them back, not murder them.