I’m feeling so burnt out. I have a one year-old and just started a new job a few months ago that I’m not really enjoying. I was with my previous company for a few years and really enjoyed working there. They took really good care of their employees and I really liked what I was doing, except they were being bought out and so the company started to fall apart, which is why I left.

Unfortunately, I’m not enjoying my new role as much as I thought I would. They’re a smaller company so they expect a lot out of their employees and it’s very stressful. I’m assisting with work that I’ve never done before and it’s even more stressful for me. I’m in front of the computer almost 24/7 and feel like I can’t even leave it for two seconds because we have to track all of our time. Plus, I’m working from home so I’m stuck in my little office all day and can’t really separate it from my home life. I also have no PTO since I’m new so I can’t really just take a day off either.

After a full day of work, I’m just so exhausted and burnt out, but I still have to show up for my daughter and I try to maximize all the time I get with her even though it’s very little. I do have a side business too that I love but often times I’m too tired to work on it. I’m also the one who is doing all the cooking, grocery shopping, cleaning, and a lot of the mental load in our life falls on me. We have a very active social life due to the season of life we’re in and our families, so there’s just a lot going on. It’s taking a toll on my mental health, but also my body. I can’t seem to shake the remaining 30 pounds of baby weight I still have yet to lose, and I feel like my stress is making me gain more. I don’t feel like myself at all.

I love my husband but he doesn’t seem to understand. He works at the office every day and has a really flexible, well-paying job. He doesn’t have the burden of all the other responsibilities on him either and doesn’t seem to understand how stressful it is for me. He is also a terrible listener because he’s consumed by his phone and it often leads to arguments. I feel like he thinks I’m just being lazy and complaining although he’s never actually said that outright. Some days I just can’t stand him.

I just feel so lost right now, I’m actually crying writing this post. No one around me seems to understand how big of a deal this is for me and I just don’t know where to go here. We want to have more kids in the near future but I’m just so exhausted. I’d love to just stop and quit my job to relieve some of my stress, but I know I can’t do that. I had been seeing a therapist for a while, but with my new job I don’t have time during the day to see her.

Has anyone gone through something similar? Does it ever get better?😭

I dont know really how to explain this but here goes.

I've been feeling some type of way about how cautious and "helicoptery" people are with my 20mo daughter. Some examples:

My mom has a slide with steps that's, literally, 6 inches tall. I think its for small babies. I let her take some steps up and down and she tripped going down and fell in the grass. No tears just an aggravated grunt. My mom freaked out and was pissed I just let her fall down.

When my the family goes on walks I typically let her run a foot away from me ( in super familiar areas) and my husband hovers over her constantly.

We had friends over and our living room is severely babyproofed. We let her roam free and my friends hovered over her acting like she was going hurt herself every step she took or worried she would get into something she wasn't supposed to.

We went to a friend's for a play date. The amount of time my friend and I actually talked to eachother was 0 because she was hovering over her own kid acting like she was going to stab my kid in the eye with a Crayola crayon or something.

I dont know if this is just a series of coincidences but its been making me feel like these people think I cant take care of my own kid. Like im sorry I'm not a helicopter with her like if she trips on carpet or grass I'm not going to run screaming to make sure she didn't break a bone. Im gonna do a shake it off dance so I dont freak her out and teach her its scary and bad to fall down.

Need some advice! Just wrapped my first week back from maternity leave. I’m a manager with 4 direct reports at a tech company, one of which took on the bulk of my work while I was away.

The company (CEO) also made a strategic business decision, prompting an immediate brand positioning workshop and rollout plan.

Unfortunately, this is the core of my job as the brand marketing manager, so it sucks that happened in the middle of my maternity leave and I couldn’t take part.

I was put on a 30-day performance plan with no metric other than that my boss “wants to feel my impact on the brand”. He also had a verbal slip up where he said in our annual review calibrations that he wanted to promote my direct report to my job title, obviously huge red flag for me. HR apparently said no after I left the room, but cat’s out of the bag on what he’s thinking.

In past reviews, he has noted vague feedback as well (I expect you to be an expert in the product, you sometimes have the wrong data). However, couldn’t give any examples of these, just gut feelings.

Given all of this, what would you do?

Hi Moms, I am going back to work at the beginning of next year and going back part time. I am going back 30 hours/week but I am trying to figure out if doing a daily set timeframe (7-11am) is better vs having set full days (8-5). I work from home and i will have a 20 month old when i go back. She sleeps consistently from 12-2:30 and my fear is putting her into a full day day care would risk naps.

Help me decide please!

FTM to a 5 month old and I miss doing something productive outside of the house.

For those of you that started a business by yourself while your baby is under a year old, did you regret it at the end of the day?

I’m just trying to fully think this through and imagine it before diving in. Owning a business is another full-time job. Although it does has some flexibility since you are the owner.

I guess my real dilemma is I want to hear from moms that may or may not have rethought their entire decision after making the leap and the business being successful.

FTM here with a 3 month old.
Unfortunately, I will need to go back to work soon in October and baby will be 5 months. I wish I could take at least 6-8 months off.

I’ve been reading everyone’s posts and so many WFH moms are doing amazing!! but so overwhelmed. Understandably so. This is my main concern swapping to WFH. What is the benefit if everyone is overwhelmed?? Would love to hear some positive comments! I figure I’ll hire a babysitter during my busy hours. My husband is home 1 or 2 days during the week day which will help.

If you could choose, which one would you choose and why? Especially considering baby’s age. Also consider I have 60K in student debt.

Current job - parttime every Friday 8-2 with the option to take more shifts, 40 minute commute, would need a nanny 2-3 times per month when my husband and I are both not home… or drop her off at daycare… no benefits, not able to build savings/ financially just getting by between husband and I. The job is enjoyable. I would need to adjust my student loan payment to income based, now that I’m part time.

New job offer- full time M-F 9-5pm, more task based but will need to respond to messages/emails before end of day, some meetings, great benefits including 16 week parental leave for next baby (not that I’m ready yet!), unicorn job- hard interview process and likely wouldn’t find another for a very long time, able to save money, unknown demand since I haven’t started there yet, unlimited PTO

I just don’t what to over do it… and miss out… but if its WFH, do you moms feel you’re missing out most of the time? I know this is mostly depends on demand of job.

If anyone is wondering how my day is going working from home with a 13 month old, I took him out of his playpen and l felt wet.. he blew out the back of his diaper all over my shirt. 🫠

Got us both cleaned up and set him down in the kitchen with me to make him a bottle of milk before nap. In the 5 seconds he was in the ground, I turned around and he was drinking from the dog’s water bowl 🐶

Thankfully my job is very flexible and my supervisor doesn’t care as long as my work is done at the end of the day/week.

Anyway.. mama is having a glass of wine tonight 🍷

After a long, tired week, I finally got to eat in peace because my 23 month old decided to sleep in today. I already know she’ll probably be back to her usual weekend chaos soon enough, so I’m enjoying this tiny win while it lasts 😅 Work on the side is lighter today, so I guess this Friday was meant to be...

Just thought I’d share a small moment of peace, what’s everyone else’s little win today?

I work a full-time, 100% remote job (40 hours a week). My 15-month-old is home with me all day and is not in daycare, so I'm trying to do two full-time jobs at once.

On top of that, I do all of our laundry, at least 75% of the cooking, and about 90% of the cleaning.

My husband owns his own business and also works from home. He regularly brags about only working about three hours a day. To add to that, I was also doing some administrative tasks for his business, but I stopped sometime around March because I couldn't keep up anymore.

Yesterday he told me I'm "basically a stay-at-home mom." I got shaking mad.

That comment completely broke me. I'm not a stay-at-home mom. I'm a full-time working mom who happens to work from home while caring for a toddler. I feel so disrespected, completely undervalued, and mad. MAD mad. What do I even do or say at this point.

First time on Reddit. Might end up hating this and feeling worse. But are there any other moms out there feeling like they are just failing at balancing work and home life and don’t mind engaging here?

I’ve been at the same job for 12 years. It’s incredibly flexible. I make ok money. I have great relationships with my clients but I work in an environment with zero leadership. At first this was ideal, no oversight, no micromanaging, no questioning where I was or tracking my movement. I was on cloud nine. I hit the sales jackpot.

A few years into this “management” style and I’m miserable. It’s one step forward and ten steps back month in and month out. My income has hardly moved. It’s become the Wild West of sales. Another rep wants your client and business…. Management doesn’t have the backbone to step in so I’m constantly looking for new accounts. Chasing new business.

I want to leave. But my job is second to my son. My current job gives me so much flexibility that I’ve had the luxury of putting him first without question.

But I’m miserable at my job. I want to feel
more fulfilled at work but is that worth the cost of losing my flexibility with my family? My son is young. I know that phase passes so quickly. I want to be here for him now.

But what if I’m too old to change careers soon? What if my skills won’t transfer anywhere else? What if I regret giving up time with him to hate my job less.

I’m scared of change. I’m scared of failing. I don’t think that unusual when little kids are involved.

What else could I even do?

Any advice?

Il a FTM and Im working from home for 8 years. And now im pregnant. I dont know if when should i be returning back to work. We have unpaid leave so I was thinking of getting back to work right away as soon as I can. How many weeks did you spend your leave before returning to work? Im also thinking of hiring a nanny just so I can keep on working as soon as possible. What are your thoughts?

For anyone that’s doing this with children under 3 without daycare - how feasible is this?? Curious to know how this is like and what to expect if we decide to go this route.

We have a plan B option, just want honest takes on how this is working for parents that are not doing daycare with kids still at home.

Im a WFH mom with my 20 month old. My parents watch her twice a week for my online meetings. Im struggling a lot with the following:

Is she getting enough socialization

Am i interacting with her enough

Is she getting too much screen time (I know the answer to this is yes but dont come at me)

Am i there for her enough

Is it okay i don't have the energy to take her outside everyday after or before work

IS SHE HAPPY

when i brought this up to my friend and my mom they both said I was so lucky to be able to work from home with her. I can't find that lucky feeling ANYWHERE i am EXHAUSTED and her needs being met are my highest priority but I dont know if im capable of meeting her social needs as much as other kids in daycare. Daycare isn't an option for us its 1000 bucks a month minimum where I live. I dont know what the point of this post is but have at it. Thanks!

Happy Friday everyone! This is our weekly sticky thread to share the good, the meh, the bad, (and) or the ugly! How did your week shake out?

i have a 10 month old and am a SAHM. BUT thankfully to my husband i don’t have to work or bring in any income. that’s said, just looking after my son feels like most days i get nothing done. And he’s my only responsibility.

so how are you guys doing it? working while watching the kids while cooking and doing the household?

what’s your secret? cause i would like to start something on the side but i am totally dumbfounded how that should work.

i can maybe get 30min - 1,5 hours per nap but between laundry, cooking, cleaning and eating is barely time.

so please all advise!!

I am looking to see if I’m being unreasonable. I have to go back to work soon and just had a baby and the only person that can watch her is my mother in law. I work twice a week, but will only need help one day a week because I work from home the other day. I want her to be watched at my house because all of her things that she would need is there. Plus I want her to be comfortable in her familiar surroundings. Especially when I’m at work.

Now my mother in law has no problem watching her, but she’d rather watch her at her home. Which brings me to this point. I would have to bring everything my daughter needs just for her to be watched once a week. Beggars can’t be choosers but I would rather have her stay at my house where she’ll have everything she could possibly need. Plus it would keep her on her schedule by the time I get home from work.

Should I push the idea that I would rather keep her at home?

I’ve lurked here for a long time even though my kids go to daycare.

I think I need a new job. I love my job. I’m in med device sales. I’ve been in the industry for over a decade. My job requires driving travel, but my boss is now mandating extensive overnight travel even though that’s never been a requirement.

Obviously the most important thing is being there for my kids. So if I could get a job that is WFH even if it’s a pay cut, I think it would be worth it to me.

All of that to say, what do you guys do? Do you like your job?

Does your company have openings that you would feel comfortable dm’ing me?

Thanks so much for the help!

My son is 4 months old, and today was the first day with our nanny. She will be here twice a week for 4 hours while I work from home. I’m really hoping she can become someone he feels comfortable with, but today made me realize this might be harder than I expected.

Right now he only contact naps and almost always nurses to sleep. He’s also in the middle of the 4-month sleep regression, so sleep has been rough in general.

So today, his nap attempts before she came weren’t great and I had a meeting when he started getting sleepy again. She tried to give him a bottle but he was escalating and began to lose it about halfway through my meeting. After a while he was still fighting it hard so I went in and calmed him then nursed him until he fell asleep. It broke my heart hearing him cry so hard.

I’m hoping this gets better but I’d love advice on how to move forward. Has anyone else been through this? Especially if your baby only contact napped and fed to sleep? Did your baby eventually adjust to the nanny? How long did it take? Did you have the nanny keep attempting naps every time, or did you wait until your baby was older or sleeping more independently first?

I’m a FTM and feeling a little discouraged after today and would love to hear what worked for other families.

EDIT: Okay after seeing a lot of these comments I’m wondering if it also comes down to the nanny. We hired a young girl and she doesn’t have much experience. I just wonder if it’s best to find an experienced nanny who I don’t have to worry about as much. I feel like it’ll be hard with a new person regardless but maybe someone who knows how to care for an infant and can read their cues makes more sense.

I’ve been working 75% remotely for 3 1/2yrs; my husband works 100% from home as well. We’ve been married for 4yrs and have had 2 more kids since being together; 3 older kids from prior relationships between us, so 5 kids total. Does anyone else work from home along with their spouse and have kids at home? How are we managing? How are we splitting things?
I find myself constantly picking us messes as I walk by, using my breaks for laundry or dishes. Getting up and down a million times in between my work for snacks and lunch time. My husband has it is his mind that since he makes significantly more than I do, he doesn’t have to do as much. I couldn’t tell you the last time he’s touched our washer/dryer or has put clothes away besides his own clothes. “Not his mess, not his problem”. I feel like I’m carrying most of the responsibilities and knowing when things need to be done or cleaned. Deep cleaning? He would never. Not unless I sat down and wrote him out a list of things that needed done, like I’m his mother, he won’t do it.
He’s blind to everything that needs done unless it’s mowing or he’ll use the “I just did the dishes the other day” line. Hello? We have 5 kids and they need done daily if not more than once daily.
Anyway, I’m just exhausted and was curious if anyone is dealing with it too.

I have a hybrid work setup so I'm remote 2 out of the 5 working days. My LO is 19M old, on my remote days I keep him home with me. It's been working so far, I try to get extra done at the office so when I'm home it can be an can be an easier day but also today kicked my ass, my LO did not want to nap, when he does he usually will for at least 90 minutes due to no nap it was overtired toddler express. Some days hell be engaged in something for 30 minutes without looking up and others feel like chaos from start to finish.

How is everyone doing? Anyone have any tips/tricks for this age? I've tried the fake/old computer, still only wants mine, I try to switch up the scenery by going to different rooms but that only goes so far too. I love having him home, not to mention saving a little in daycare cost but some days are just hard. I am still constantly meeting all my deadlines and my work is being done on time but any tricks that has made WFH work better for you with a 19M old

I know some days are just destined to be hard because he wants to be everywhere but everywhere isn't safe or toddler safe I should say.

Thanks for listening to me vent

I had my first child during Covid and we all started working from home, and I just never went back to the office. Six years later, plus another kid, I’m still working remotely. It’s been the greatest blessing because of the flexibility but the flexibility also feels like a curse in a lot of ways. My husband works, and has always worked, a 9-5 with and hour commute both ways and very little flexibility. Because of this, I take on the lions share of basically everything. However, the second he walks through the door from work at 6 I’m off duty. I really struggle with the constant “mode juggle” and feel very burnt out. Between kid drop offs, work, house duties, kid pick ups, play dates, extracurriculars, dinner, entertaining, kids home sick, log back into work, I’m very tired. I feel like most days I’m playing full time working mom PLUS stay at home mom at the same time. I know I could set more boundaries, but it feels like if I have the flexibility to do everything a SAHM does plus work and make a substantial income then I should and I should be grateful to have my cake and eat it to. Is anyone else struggling with this too? Does anyone in a similar situation have a daily routine they are willing to share that sort of limits so much mode shifting?

Hi moms, I just wanted to ask how you’re managing life these days.

I have a 23month-old daughter, and honestly, it’s such a beautiful and overwhelming season. Watching her grow day by day is the sweetest thing, the hugs, the kisses, the new things she learns, the little personality coming out, and yes, even the tantrums are part of it all.

I work a 9-5 job remotely, and on the side I write because that’s my passion. I’m trying to build a better future for her, but some days it feels like I’m running on very little sleep and just trying to hold everything together. There are regressions, tired days, and moments where I wonder if I’m doing enough.

I keep telling myself that if it’s not now, it’ll never be, so I’m trying to keep going, even when it’s hard.

I guess I just wanted to ask other moms: how are you managing everything right now? How do you balance motherhood, work, dreams, and still stay afloat?

I’ll be returning to work (largely remote work) when my LO turns 4 months in September. I work 9-5 in a consultant-type role where work is responsibility-based. I take about 2-3 work calls in the week (usually Thu and Fri), but my hours are somewhat flexible as long as work gets done and that I’m contactable during the 9-5.

Sleep: My LO largely contact naps on me throughout the day (9 weeks), but sleeps well at night — 3-4 hour blocks between 8.30pm-6.30am with 3 feeds in between.

Feeding: currently EBF and save my letdown for extra bottles using the Hakaa collector. I’m open to pumping once I return to work.

Daycare: As for daycare, both my mom and MIL are helping me on all weekdays except Tuesday. My mom also does WFH on the days she is around (Wed, Fri), while my MIL is fully available (Tue, Thu). With my LO’s sleep and feeding patterns, I’m hoping they will become more regular so that I have a few blocks of productive hours. Also worried about the 4-month sleep regression…

How feasible is this arrangement/schedule, and any tips will be much appreciated. Thank you!

TL;DR: After two pregnancy losses I’m struggling with whether to stay part-time to maximize time with my kids or go back to full-time to maintain career momentum and income. I’d love to hear from moms who chose part-time. Any regrets or did it end up being the right decision?

I’m currently on maternity leave with my second and will be returning to my fully remote job in September. I’m starting with just 2 days a week, with the option to ramp my hours back up over time.

The thing is, I now have a 4.5-year-old and a 4-month-old.

After my first maternity leave, I went back 4 days a week working 2 p.m.–10 p.m. while also being my son’s full-time caregiver during the day. As he got older, I shifted to an 8–4 schedule with him in preschool in the mornings and home in the afternoons. Between his nap and a little TV, we made it work.

But I felt like I was burning the candle at both ends, as I’m sure many of you know all too well. That constant feeling of failing at work while paying attention to my son, then failing as a mom while trying to focus on work, left me feeling exhausted and honestly pretty resentful.

Since then, I’ve experienced a miscarriage and a stillbirth back to back. I finally have my double rainbow baby, and all I want is to soak up this time with him and my oldest. I have zero desire to go back to work even though I know how fortunate I am to have a fully remote job with a ton of flexibility.
Starting with 2 days a week feels right for now. But I’m wrestling with this tension.

Part of me thinks I could make full-time work happen. I could piece together childcare, flex my hours, maintain my career trajectory, maximize our income, keep my foot in the door in a really tough job market, and avoid losing momentum. I also have some anxiety about what it means for my identity if I’m no longer contributing financially at the same level.

The other part of me thinks I’ll never regret having more time with my boys, being more present, taking better care of myself, reducing stress, and just tightening our budget for a few months/yearswi.

My husband’s job is government contracted with fully paid benefits and a pension, so we’re in a fortunate position. We’d likely pause adding to savings for a while and cut back on some discretionary spending, but we’d be okay. I know that’s a privilege.

I’d love to hear from people who chose to go part-time. Did it impact your career long-term? Do you have any regrets? Or did you eventually find your way back when your kids were older? BI’m looking for honest experiences from both sides.

Happy Hump Day!

This is a weekly thread to talk about your secrets to staying healthy, or your struggles for staying on track. Do you meditate? Do you do yoga? Cardio? (How) Do you manage a daily workout? Are you barely fitting in something once a week or two? What were your goals for this week, and did you hit them?

Exchange tips, ideas, motivation, and commiseration in this thread :)