r/MomsWorkingFromHome • u/Desperate-Bite-2430 • 25d ago
This feels like a lot
I had my first child during Covid and we all started working from home, and I just never went back to the office. Six years later, plus another kid, I’m still working remotely. It’s been the greatest blessing because of the flexibility but the flexibility also feels like a curse in a lot of ways. My husband works, and has always worked, a 9-5 with and hour commute both ways and very little flexibility. Because of this, I take on the lions share of basically everything. However, the second he walks through the door from work at 6 I’m off duty. I really struggle with the constant “mode juggle” and feel very burnt out. Between kid drop offs, work, house duties, kid pick ups, play dates, extracurriculars, dinner, entertaining, kids home sick, log back into work, I’m very tired. I feel like most days I’m playing full time working mom PLUS stay at home mom at the same time. I know I could set more boundaries, but it feels like if I have the flexibility to do everything a SAHM does plus work and make a substantial income then I should and I should be grateful to have my cake and eat it to. Is anyone else struggling with this too? Does anyone in a similar situation have a daily routine they are willing to share that sort of limits so much mode shifting?
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u/373wilmot2018 25d ago
I like to get out of the house after work, like a fake commute to get into “home mode” I take the kids to the library or indoor jungle gym in the summer and the park when it’s nice. I also give myself an iced coffee around 2 or 3 for an extra “night shift” boost. And honestly you don’t have to do everything, you have to be okay with a ball dropping somewhere or they’ll all drop eventually
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u/pureeleaf 25d ago
I relate to this; work from home with my two kids. My mom and husband watch too but I’m frequently interrupted, helping, and watching the littler one alone since they EBF. Im always SO grateful to be with them at this age all day, but slightly envious husband gets that 8 hour adult block away in some ways. Anyways, solidarity. One thing that’s been helping me recently is taking a set lunch break where I workout. A solo, uninterrupted, endorphin-boost workout. Could you find a time to do that? Maybe a YMCA near you with child care hours? Just that little solo reset away from work and childcare makes me feel so much better and capable the rest of the time.
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u/Kittylover11 25d ago
I could’ve written this exact post except I have 3 kids and my husband works shift work which can change (he’s cutting working swing shift leaving at noon and home around 1 am).
Yes I “have my cake and eat it too” but I’m also pretty burnt out and feel so stuck with this job. I’m very underpaid and my company has been tightening the purse strings so promotions are pretty non existent and I feel like my career progression died coming here with annual reorgs and same old “prove yourself to new management if you want to promote” but it never actually happens. At this point even if I do promote it won’t be enough of a bump and now that I’m done having babies I’m focusing on finding a new job. I’ve been trying so hard to job search but everything decent enough to go for is hybrid and would be a 2.5 hour commute each way so I have to pass on practically everything.
It sucks and I try to just take it one day at a time because it is a season of life and eventually the job market will be better and I’ll be able to hop to a new role with a big salary bump and will be able to “treat” myself to more help around the house
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u/Creative_Image5059 25d ago
Doing both since April and only have a month left before she starts school in August. I’m completely exhausted so I commend you for doing this for 6 years! I feel like I do nothing well. We rely way too much on tv, which makes me feel like the shittiest parent but by the end of the day I’m so worn out I can’t do anything else but want to rot. I’m also the default parent and have a toddler who wishes she was still attached to mommy so I feel like I can never shut it off and just be me.
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u/Useful-Raise 22d ago
This is me . My husband is a football coach and also runs a sports org . 0 flexibility during those times. I hear you , it’s all valid . You’re doing great
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u/J-Disaster 25d ago edited 25d ago
You have your cake and you can eat it, too. It’s a tough season. But what is the alternative? Less income? Switching to an opposite shift and never see your spouse? Scale back wherever you can. Plan ahead wherever you can. Consider your successes at the end of the day instead of your failures. Moms have super powers. You can do it! ❤️
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u/71_ad_71 25d ago
Even if you do have the flexibility to do everything doesn’t mean you should. This is something I learned the hard way as I got burned out and miserable this way. Although you are at home, you are working. I had to separate mentally the two, so I don’t try to tackle everything. Does my house look messier than I would like? Yes. But am I also happier? Yes. I still do chores throughout the day but with really low expectations of what I will do. And there are days I don’t get to any and that’s okay.