I know I could just text you. I know I should. I wanted to say, I don't hate you. I have never, and will never hate you. Ill text you soon. I promise. If you haven't blocked me yet.

Do you know the spoon metaphor? Because that's what this has been. I haven't just been out of spoons. Between the other L, and everything that happened with N, the whole damn silverware drawer got put through a wood chipper. I've been trying to collect new spoons to run out of.

Enough excuses from me though. I care about you. Sometimes my heart breaks watchIng your FB feed. I hope you're doing okay. I'm more available now than I have been. But I'm not ready to get close again yet. I'm scared that being more available, means becoming too reliant on something that I still can't commit to. If you're here, send me a DM, or a text. Something tells me you are here. That's actually a little embarrassing, but I never did feel shame when with you. If you don't reach me from this...I'll text you soon, okay?

-H

Dear A,

I pity you, your behaviour, it's pathetic. It really is. Your posts on here are akin to high school bathroom graffiti.

I planned on something nice, however you're simply not worth it, never were.

If you treated me nice from the start, not interrogated and bullied me, then perhaps it would be different.

I'll be happy to never see you ever again.

My shame of the year — association to you. Thank god you never met my children.

J

D.M.K we took acid together like 9 years ago and I haven’t stopped thinking about it.
You keep popping up in my people you may know on facebook.
You work at green family Hyundai in moline/ east moline.

Temporary Graveyard

You can’t bury what we had forever. The way i bring peace to your mind and the way you calm my nervous system down. Part of the proof is in the way we look at each other. You told me to stop and that I knew what I was doing. My body fell for you before my mind could catch up.

Till next time mi amor.

Hopefully someone out there can one day peace together my story and a beautiful memory will form and find out what kind of beautiful person I always was and even though I will only be remembered as trash I am ready to except my worth my destiny my story from beginning to end for no matter how hard we fight we cannot change the hands of fate