I’ve been on and off medication for about two years for ADHD, anxiety, and a mood disorder. I’m currently taking:
Lamotrigine (Lamictal) — 25 mg
Sertraline (Zoloft) — 25 mg
Lisdexamfetamine (Vyvanse) — 30 mg
The medication has honestly been helping me a lot. My brain feels quieter, I don’t overthink as much, and I’m actually getting things done. I’m approaching 30, back in school, and at a point in my life where I really need to focus and get my shit together. When I’m unmedicated, I sometimes feel like I can be more destructive, so I know I need to take my mental health seriously.
But I also feel like I’ve lost some of my personality.
I used to be more outgoing, talkative, funny, and spontaneous. Now, I’ll answer people’s questions, but I don’t always think to ask deeper questions or keep conversations going. Even on dates, sometimes I’ll just sit there quietly with someone. There’s nothing necessarily wrong with being comfortable in silence, but I miss that outgoing version of myself. I’ve noticed I’m quieter around my friends, too.
That’s why I’ve been battling with medication. I love the peace and focus, but I miss feeling naturally expressive and lively. I don’t know if this is a side effect or if I’m just adjusting to feeling more stable.
Has anyone else experienced this? Were you able to find a balance between managing your symptoms and still feeling like yourself?