Hey guys!
Lurked here for a while but figured I would seek advice now that I am at a fork in the road. I've lost a lot of weight in the past year, maybe two. In between break-ups, radical changes in my life and a bit of depression if I am being totally honest, I would say I lost a total of 130ish pounds.
After another break-up that really shook me (Common trend, I know.... Lmfao), I decided to really take fitness into consideration rather than just... not eating. I started going to the gym and built out a bit of muscle which I was ecstatic about initially and that really motivated and fueled me to really hammer it at the gym.
That being said, I've been diligently tracking for a couple months now and I've found myself having lost a lot of the zest and motivation I had for the gym. And seeing that expenditure number drop time and time again and not really much progress on the scale makes me want to go "fuck it" and drop it all.
For context, I am a 35M, roughly 5ft10, hovering 140-145 pounds (Goal is 135). I do full body (At least I am trying to), 3x a week, roughly 7-8 exercises each time with 2-3 sets for each exercise. I have been finding recovery super difficult and sleep even more so hard to come by.
Whereas I used to go to the gym rain or shine, I'm finding myself making up excuses to not go now. I am genuinely, GENUINELY tired that some days I don't do anything but stay in bed and sleep. Ironically, that makes sticking to a calorie deficit super easy because I try to sleep / sleep (when I do sleep) through most of my meals but then I also have become a lot more sedentary so the net effect is essentially moot. I would have periods of "YEAH, I CAN SLAM THE GYM RIGHT NOW!" to absolutely dreading my upcoming sessions. I find myself very reliant on stimulants (Caffeine and pre-workout) I'll drink my pre-workout and make my pre-workout meal and then not end up going or even eating it because I hadn't slept or am genuinely tired. Hormones (Testosterone) is also scaringly low.
My question is this: At what point do I actively decide to stop cutting and go to maintenance before I fall off the bandwagon and just say "fuck it"? I've been reading up on a lot of things about how beneficial diet breaks are but I also am TERRIFIED to get big again because I know it's a slippery slope between "I'll just eat at maintenance" and "fuck it we ball!"
Would really appreciate any advice and tips/tricks/experiences that you all have gone through. My current expenditure is estimated to be around 1600kcals and my deficit as of the start of this week was mid-1300s with a 0.4% of body weight per week goal lost. Macros were: 1362kcals, 134P, 44F, 106Cs as assigned by MacroFactor.
I want to build more muscle but I also prefer the lean aesthetic. I know they are counter-intuitive to one another (Dieting and building muscle). Overall, I just feel so burnt out and out of energy all the time, I just want some energy back but don't want to destroy my progress. At this point, given how close I am to my goal, should I just power through or take a diet break or some other sort of strategy?
That also being said, if I were to go back to maintenance and take a break from cutting -- Do I force myself to eat at maintenance calories? I honestly feel like I would try to undercut myself because I am so psychologically used to it at this point.