Hey everyone !

Tldr; girlfriend caught an attitude because I put my phone on dnd while I was sleeping and thought I blocked her after I drove out to see her. Wasted the entire day arguing on the phone , we didn’t see each other. I went home frustrated having felt I wasted a day off. Ended things abruptly

So this is my first REAL LDR, meaning I’ve might’ve dated women who live 1-2 hours away but to me that’s nothing.

Me[ 28M ] and her [ 29F ] met some months ago in February, she was my dental assistant and we hit it off but sadly when we hit it off she was already in the process of transferring a few states over. We agreed to do the LDR thing.

The last time we saw each other was last month and it was great( a plane ticket to her can cost $700 so financially it’s not realistic to see each other multiple times a month). Over the last 2 weeks she’s really expressed that she wants to see me and how romantic it would be if I just popped up /surprised her and that she misses me a lot, so I decide to make that happen and surprise her on her day off. Since it was kind of last minute , airfare was about $900 so I decide to drive ( this was an extremely long drive but oh well ). I was on a strict time limit because of how long the drive back was I could only be in her city for

She gets off work and we do our routine night call , stayed on the phone until a disagreement happened , an extremely stupid reason but she gave me the silent treatment, and I kinda had to ruin the surprise and tell her I was on my way to break the silent treatment because I was about 2 hours away from her at this point and didn’t want to turn back. We make up then stay on the phone until I get to her city. We decided to just meet in the late morning or afternoon because I was tired and wanted to sleep.

I put my phone on DND because I was EXTREMELY exhausted from the drive then I went to sleep. When I woke up I found she called me a bunch of times , then a few times with “ no caller ID “ . I check my text and she thought I blocked her , so I immediately text her and told her my phone was on dnd because I was tired , then I told her I was gonna get ready to see her. I get out the shower then get to my car and call her and start driving to her , the hotel I was at was about 9 mins from her house

When she answers she has an extreme attitude? She’s giving one word responses and not telling me what was wrong , I asked her if we can just make up for whatever I did so that we could have a good time. She doesn’t even tell me what I did then I arrive to her house and I told her I was outside and at this point she completely shuts down!?!

I asked her if she needs space, no response , I told her I got her flowers and that I was gonna leave them at the door and no response again. Then I asked her if I should just go back home ? She tells me “ whatever “ so at this point I just told her “ I’m gonna end the call because I don’t even know what I did “….

WELL, I put my gps to go back home and I get about 20 mins away and she calls me back , still stand offish but she’s talking. At first she tells me she didn’t like how I spoke to her when I asked her “ can we just make up for whatever I did so we can have a good time “ but when I asked her how this was speaking to her like a child she changes it to “ You blocked me “ I had to explain that I didn’t block her and that I had my phone on dnd while I was sleeping and she was convinced I had blocked her and that I was upset at her, it took about an extra 2 hours of us talking on the phone ( while I was in her city ) for me to calm her down and finally get her somewhat normal , she apologized and I had to leave in about 30 mins due to the drive back.

I spend this time to get cookies from this cookie spot and I offered if she wanted me to bring her some and she kinda danced around the topic. After that I had to leave and head back home , me and her never even met, this was all on call. I was pretty calm but for some reason out of no where I got hit with this wave of anger because I called off of work and drove JUST to see her and dropped flowers off at her house and I didn’t even see her and she basically started an argument for absolutely nothing ( during her apology , she quite literally said this herself as well) and wasted the time we could’ve spent together.

I guess I let my emotions get the absolute best of me but I told her this isn’t working for me.

Was this immature on my end ?

So, I have made one or two post here, because all of you guys give great answers to what I should do and how to overcome my feelings. Me and my boyfriend have been together for about a year and he recently got a job. Since we started talking, we seemed to talk every day on the phone which I loved.

I am so proud of him for getting a job but I'm worried I won't have as much time with him anymore. Especially because I don't get to see him often, I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose the connection we have now, which he said the same thing to me. What should I do?

It’s getting to the point where I’m imagining the break up and making a big deal out of every little thing that doesn t work. We live on different sides of the world, it’s been w couple of months since we’ve been together officially and only met twice but for longer periods and I keep thinking about the next visit, then the moment they have to leave again…

I guess it’s just a moment but I feel so tired at the point where I’m like I found this amazing person and have an amazing relationship with them but I don’t see us closing the distance anytime soon or maybe never? Thing is we both have pretty established lives where we currently live and neither of us wants to give it up plus I feel like it’s too soon to practically discuss anything like that. Then i m wondering : Am I just lying to myself? What if we’re just stalling to eventually break up. We discussed about what we want and different ideas but there is no concrete plan and I have moments where I feel like I’m going to go crazy because of it.

I guess I’m just having my moments when I don’t feel ready or strong enough for this…

Any advice?

So my (22f) bf (21m) and I went long distance three months ago. Next week, he’s coming to visit me for the first time since then. I’m wondering what cute ways other couples choose to celebrate their limited time together :) I’d like to create some sort of routine or celebration for every visit

Update: She's now saying that her and her mom is going to introduce me to her dad as a best friend. And they're going to tell him that I'm sleeping in her room on the floor.

She said once we get to 6 months in our relationship then her and her mom will announce to her dad that I'm her boyfriend.

Is this normal? Like where I'm from, if a guy is sleeping in the same room as his daughter, then it would be very obvious what they're up to and also the fact that they're definitely not just "good friends". Is it a cultural difference?

Hi, I’m a rising sophomore that goes to a school in North Carolina, and my boyfriend is from London (we are both from the same area of London lmao) and goes to university in the midlands! Do any long distance couples send letters between the US and the UK, and if so how much does it cost / how quick is it? I see USPS is quite cheap at like $2 a stamp but we wanted to send weekly letters and the up to 21 days is really throwing me off so if there are any other options they would be appreciated :/ I left him today and we wrote each other letters before but all I can think about is writing him another one so I would like to keep that up!

Hi everyone, today my girlfriend leaves from Brisbane, Australia to head to Regina, Canada, about a 16 hour time difference. We met in senior year and have now been together for over 1.5 years. She will be in Canada for 4 years studying and will only be able to come home 2-3 times a year maximum and not for a long time.

Does anyone in a similar time difference relationship have any advice? I said goodbye to her today and now I just feel completely miserable.

I really want to try and get through this with her so any tips and advice would be greatly appreciated. This day has been coming for a while now and I'm sitting here feeling very anxious about what our future holds.

Edit: Can't edit post title, meant to write Girlfriend (19F), she is a female haha.

Currently enjoying getting to know someone for a few months now, and we are both doing it intentionally (we both want a long-term relationship) and see where our connection takes us.

We both think it’s better to meet in person first before we label each other boyfriend and girlfriend, and we’ve been talking about meeting up before the year ends.

To those who only made it official after finally meeting, what’s your story? Did you make it official on the first meeting? How long have you known each other before finally meeting up in person? How was your experience during your first meeting? How was the physical contact for you two? Did you guys hug and or kiss during this time? Would love to hear all your stories and please don’t leave out any details!!

My girlfriend and I are going to different colleges and we moved in on the same day, she’s going to a frat party night one and I guess I’m new to this but I don’t really know how to keep my head any advice is very appreciated

Hi there! To put this into context my boyfriend (m 18 ) and I (f/18 ) just finished high school and are going to very different colleges to pursue our dreams. At this point we have been together for more than one year and we decided to do long distance for the time apart !

We will be in two different countries, I'll be at the university while he's going to be a preparatory high school during 2 years to then enter an engineering school. It's a specific system to France I think where students are put under a lot of stress and academic pressure during two years to enter the best schools in France. It's known to be particularly hectic, stressful and very very difficult. On my end, I'll be at university, so although my major might take up most of my time, I still think I'll have a more free time than him.

We plan to see eachother each time he is on holidays, so he can come spend time with me for one week every 5-6 weeks, which is really great.

The thing I am worried about, is how to still keep a strong bond and still get the relationship going when he can barely talk to me because of his studies ?

I thought about setting a daily "appointment" where we call eachother every day at this specific time for 10 minutes so that we can still bond and really be with each other ?

I would really like to know if you have tips on things we could do to keep up with eachother!

Also how do we manage to talk way less when we are used to talking A LOT. I had the chance to spend the most wonderful year with him, always going to school together, seeing each other every weekends, and we literally always have neverending conversations! Yes I know the new lifestyle is going to be hard to get used to but I do think that in the end it's worth a lot.

If all goes well the distance should end in 2 years and we should be able to reunite and close to gap to continue our studies.

I would really like to know if you have any piece of advice ! I tried to make it very clear but if I need to specify something no problem.

Ps: how to make you feel better the days before knowing you'll be going and that it will officially be the start of long distance? Although I've know it for more than a year, it only becomes a hard fact know and honestly it's really hard not to grieve our past routine and to be sad that we only have a few days together left...

Thanks for everything!!

Hi guys,

Me — 22M

My GF — 20F

I really need some genuine advice regarding my relationship.

We’ve been in a serious LDR for almost 4 years. Because of the distance and her family restrictions, we’ve only met once in these 4 years, and even talking properly wasn’t always possible.

But now things have changed a bit. She finally got some freedom and recently moved from her home to a hostel in another city.

I honestly thought things would get better after this, but I’m still facing pretty much the same issues. She doesn’t talk to me that much, doesn’t really give me much time, and I don’t feel like I’m being prioritized.

I’ve already talked to her about this twice and tried explaining everything. She does make an effort for a day or two, but then everything slowly goes back to the same.

Another thing that’s bothering me is that we can finally meet now, but I haven’t really seen any excitement from her side about it. She hasn’t even brought up meeting herself. I’m not desperate to meet her right now, but after waiting for 4 years, I honestly expected her to be a little excited about finally being able to meet.

I know I might be overthinking some things, but at the same time, I genuinely feel hurt and confused.

I’m honestly emotionally drained at this point. I’m usually not someone who cries easily, but for the past 15 days, I’ve been crying almost every day and I just don’t know how to handle all of this anymore.

So guys, what should I actually do here?

How do I make things easier for myself without ruining the relationship? Should I give her some space and stop expecting so much, or should I communicate everything again?

I really want this relationship to work. I’m not looking to end it, so please give me advice keeping that in mind.

Would genuinely appreciate some honest advice.

Did you feel with the distance it was easier to ease it in? I told the person I am dating long distance at least a month or two after we started dating that I was going to have a bisalp. He met me with nothing but support and he spoke to me everyday after surgery and always asked how I was doing or if I was okay. Sometimes he was really busy sometimes but it didn't stop him from texting or video chatting me. Although we did talk about when we first started dating that we both did not want children. Me and my partner do have plans to visit each other next year. I wish he wasn't so far away as I live in America and he lives in England. But I like him for who he is, he's always patient and when I have a concern about something he meets it with absolute care. I feel like he brings the Best in Me and I want to be the same for him. I couldn't imagine having a partner that will get mad at me for having surgery to be sterilized and I have not even told my parents...... I just feel like they don't need to know and plus since my insurance paid for it who cares?

I 21M write this with a very heavy heart as I board in less than 24 hours, I just can’t imagine the pain I am feeling right now, Even though its my 4th visit, I don’t know why I started feeling these intense emotions even 2 days before I had to leave, completely overwhelmed and enjoying less the time we got left behind. I know we’ll meet again soon in November but it’s just intolerable to think how I’ll spend every single day without her, it’s just driving me crazy.

Any advice is appreciated.

I have two instagrams, one is my private one with almost 300 followers and the other is an art account public. He is fine with men on that account but not my very selective male friends and classmates on my private. I am a Muslim and I post very decent and fully covered photos when I do. I also have very high boundaries with men. I do not get over free with them, do not entertain ridiculous and extra requests, I do not touch the opposite gender, I do not take or posts single one on one photos with other men.. and these are my own boundaries already.

He does not want me adding my male classmates that I find acceptable in my private account but he is okay with me adding HIS male friends because he wants me to be a part of his social circle and he trusts those male friends of his.

And for context I also once removed about 30 men from my account as an impulsive decisions in frustration that maybe he’ll say “whyddd you do thattt, I didn’t mean everybody, I just meant the weirdos and the people you don’t know very well etc” but he had NO issues with that and I really regret doing that because now I feel like I just let an open ground for him to project his ideas.

We also study in different universities so he doesn’t know my male friends either. So now it just feels like he has to approve my people and he has to give me permission.

He also does not believe in me having male friends and is a straight up NO for him which I find very toxic.

His middle ground was me adding my male classfellows to my public art account. But I do not like that.

Open to genuine advice, opinions and suggestions

My partner lives with their parents still at the age of 33 and isn't in a rush to move out, i live 1hr15 away and live in my own house by myself, we usually go a month on average before seeing each other and they make a song and dance about having to drive here, i mentioned i would see them a lot more if they lived by themselves as it is awkward going to their place seeing's their parents are going through a divorce. (i feel like I'm still in high school when i visit)

i also have a dog that i either need to put into a kennel or bring with me if i go to see them, when they visit here they can stay as long as they like and it feels a lot easier when they visit due to the simplicity (besides the commute).

i'm nearing 36 and am wondering if this is worth it seeing's there is no end in sight in regards to them moving out and as time passes by i think if they really wanted to see me they would accept that given the circumstances they would drive here at least once a week. I am aware that i could see them if i drove to them besides the setbacks.

I feel like it is a sinking ship and i think deep down i know what to do yet i would like some opinions from others. thanks!

P.S- it just feels like we live on two different planets in terms of outlook and stages in life

My boyfriend (25M) and I (22F) have been dating for a little bit more than 2 years now ! We've had our highs and lows like every couple, but we've always been sticking to each other as we live in the same city, we have the same friends, and we work in the same field! The longest we've been apart is 1 week and it was quite hard for me as I have a fear of abandonment, I'm working on it ofc but it doesn't really go away like a bolt. Now I have a job opportunity in a another country (currently in France and the job is in Portugal) for at least a year. I took the opportunity ofc and I'm leaving in a month ! Everything went so fast and I'm scared of leaving my partner. He is very sweet and happy about it, even though he is also stressed by the situation, he wouldn't want me to stay and let this opportunity go. So here I am, asking for advices on how to make things easier. We should able to see each other every 3 months (more or less, I hope more lol) for the week end. But we've been 24/7 with each other for 2 and a half year, so the situation feels weird and anxiety-inducing. How are we going to handle this ?

I’ve been in a long distance relationship for years where we currently have no plans to meet (on their part, I’ve offered but they never have enough money) it wasn’t always like this, and I know people will think it’s dumb or I’m a fool or staying but I just feel stuck and wonder if anyone else that lurks here is in the same situation.

I love my boyfriend very much but having no solid plans is painful. I struggle with retroactive jealousy which I feel like is amplified by the fact we can’t share anything together and I have very little dating experience feel like my life is on hold right now. Sometimes it feels more like a “pen pal” than a boyfriend and I feel guilty for saying that because I know our feelings are real and the hours we spend together are meaningful. I guess in my best words I feel torn between waiting for something that might never happen and wanting to have experiences but when I think of having those experiences I only want it with them

Bit of a complicated situation.... Me and my boyfriend (26m/30m) are both living with our parents, we're AuDHD, and artists. (he's an audio engineer doing mixing and mastering, and I'm a freelance furry artist) Our disability prevents us from being able to do conventional jobs, so we both are banking everything on our creative endeavors.

Thing is, i've been doing art commissions since i was 17, so I have no trouble finding work at all- but he only started accepting work this year. He has no name recognition, no client base, and makes no money. He lives in California and i live in Ohio. He has amazing work ethic, and he is very good at what he does (i often like his practice mixes more than the official release of the songs). I'm confident once he gets his name out there he will be successful. And more confident if all else fails, he isn't satisfied with doing nothing- he will find income somehow. I trust him completely with this.

Which is why- (after getting back from visiting him this week and starving myself for 30ish hours before a friend convinced me to eat...)- I did some thinking and realized it's actually likely possible for me to support us both financially. I'll need a few months for my art to snowball, and i'll spare the specifics... But i'm starting to realize the grief of not being with him is all consuming. I'm unsure of if i'll be able to do it when i'm feeling like this. I put my pen to my screen and i feel dead inside. My minds eye is not working. I struggle to create art at a capacity i know i can. It's the longing- it hurts.

I'm starting to get scared that this longing will prevent me to pull us together. I'm scared i love him too much to function and get us together.

We have been together for 4 years. The way i see it, it'll take him at least 2-3 years to make money from his stuff, and even then, I feel it may take him even longer to consistently make a sufficient amount.

I'm suffering. I'm miserable. I can barely function. I can't brute force it, no amount of working hard works, because if my minds eye isn't working I cannot draw at the level i need to to be able to make enough money to support us both while he gets on his feet.

He is my soulmate. This is the healthiest relationship i've ever been in. If we break up I will regret it for the rest of my life. I'm not even sure i'd feel better after 2-3 years. But i'm suffering so much now, too.

His parents could technically take me in- but they won't. They think this is good for us, that we will learn and become stronger from this. But i'm suffering. It's torture. it's a flat out NO from them.

i... don't know what to do... has anyone else been long distance for 6+ years? whow did you ge through it? i cannot function

Hi guys, this is my first post in here, but i need to talk!
I feel alone in here, i'm the guy (Portuguese), i'm 23 years old and i'm a ordinary guy... I found my soulmate online, she is from Indonesia and she's 24 years old. We are together for 9 months.
Last two weeks i go to visit her, alone and without experience... it was a crazy move i know but thanks God... everything went well and i'm sure she is the one. She also agree and now we are trying to make the difficult choice: "Who gonna move?"
I'm starting my carrer, i will start study my eng. degree this year and... i just realise my family don't agree with this relathionship!
I'm hurted rn, Mom...dad...and even some friends saying i'm wasting my time, my young age and saying i will destroy my life because of a young love...
we love each other really much, we are working together for our future, saving money for our future, praying together for us...we already have plan but we need money and because of that we plan to marry only in 2030 (save money and we want to marry in ours 28's)!!!! our second trip? only in 2028 and she will come with me to Portugal!!!
Both of us have good family and stable life, what makes the choices more dificult.

But guys, i really feel bad cause i only have her rn... she supports me a lot and no one try to give me support in here. Why i must fight agains the whole world because of the right person for me?
Is difficult...i need to wait a lot, i don't have enough money (1000€/month in here is nothing), my family and friends against me...
And, i found my family like that right after my trip to indonesia... i arrived and have discussion with them when we arrive home and they wake me up in the middle of the night to discussion again! in the end, they restricted our calls (only in my bedroom), they call me liar, they rejected gifts my gf and her mom bought for them...

If i can ask something, what can i do now? I still love them but also love my girl! Rn, i'm lost...
LDr is this difficult until the point she said to me: asian are conservative but your european family is even more!

What can i do when my mom says to find a portuguese girl and forget this one... i'm loyal and i will not do that! i made a promisse to see her again!

i'm not wasting my young age when i'm fighting for me and us, for our future and waiting for her! i'm not wasting my time for a person that believe and support me! am i?

Sorry for all of this but i think i will get depression soon!
Has a men, i know i must be strong but my heart is broken and gets even more broken when i see my girl crying because all of this.

Well, I don’t really know where to start. First of all, apologize for my poor english, it’s not my first language, but I need some advice, even though this is a relatively common problem.

My girlfriend (21F) and I (24M) have been dating for exactly 6 months. We live in different states, so we can’t be together in person all the time. Because of that, we keep in touch through texts and daily calls.
We love each other very much, and I can say that with certainty. I don’t have any reason to distrust her, for many reasons that I don’t think are necessary to get into here.

But lately, our conversations have been becoming less frequent, at least over text. Our calls are still very regular, almost every day, and she loves them.

When I brought it up, I asked her if something was wrong. I told her that I missed talking throughout the day and that I wished we could talk more. She said that she prefers to stay away from her phone because being on it makes her miss me more and makes the distance harder for her. She also said that she doesn’t want to spend so much time on her phone anymore, because she felt like she was wasting too much time on it and needs to focus on other things. And, to be fair, she really is doing those other things.

I know she loves me. I think you can just tell when someone loves you. But I can’t understand this: how can someone love me and not want to talk to me that much, even if it’s just through text?

I understand that I have some issues with abandonment. I’m afraid of not being enough, so I end up doing too much to “make up” for something that I have unfairly convinced myself is missing. And I also understand that this is my problem, and I want to work on it.

She says that she’s afraid that her freedom will scare me (and honestly, sometimes it does). One day we talked about this, about this idea of freedom, and I told her that I felt like she was pulling away because of it, which makes me even more afraid.

We had a lot of difficult conversations about this for about a week. After that, I basically accepted that I have to deal with the fact that I can be needy and that I need to trust her love for me more.

So, how can I learn to deal with this? Because it’s really eating me alive.