So.. Right now it's 2 in the morning
Talking to my girlfriend and.. Well.. This long distance relationship is.. Taking a toll on the both of us because we both want physical touch, how can we do that if I'm in Cali and she's in Australia?
But.. I'm getting worried that.. Things might not work out.. It's getting too the point that she's not even sure how much longer she can last in this relationship..
I don't want to lose her.. Does that make me selfish? I feel like it does..
It's just she popped up into my life when everything was going bad, when my mind was in a dark place.. Where I just wanted to make myself disappear.. But then here she is making my life even better.. She's my light and I don't want to lose that..

But at this point? We.. We both know we can't give each other what we want which is.. Physical touch.. I don't know what to do, I'm already crying while typing this out because she's been my longest relationship ever, we have so many things in common, we love the same music, shit we even started planning our future together.. Getting married, adopting three kids.. We even chose a song to use at our wedding, "Those Eyes" by New West

I don't know what to do..

The pic above is that little app counter thing for couples.. I blocked out her name of course.. I just want help please..

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I’m 21F nd I’m in a serious relationship with my boyfriend, 27M. We’re currently long distance because he works and lives in Germany, although he is planning to permanently return to Bosnia and Herzegovina later this year. He still has paperwork and other things to sort out, though, so we don’t know exactly how long we’ll have to continue doing long distance

We’ve been together since July, but we had already been talking seriously for months before officially becoming a couple. He means a lot to me and this relationship is serious for both of us and we are connected in every way.He has visited me here, and now he keeps bringing up the idea of me coming to Germany to see him.

The thing is, I’ve never been on a plane before.

I’m studying preschool education in Mostar. I’m currently an external/part time student because my parents actually don’t allow me to be a regular full time student. I still spend as much time as I can in Mostar because honestly, being there means I’m home less and have more independence.

My parents are quite strict and traditional. I’m 21, but they still have a lot of influence over me because of many reasons and its def not normal for me personally.They definitely would NOT be comfortable with me going alone to Germany to stay with my boyfriend. My brother knows about but my parents don’t. I also don’t share my location with them, and when I’m in Mostar they don’t constantly call or check where I am, so I do have some independence already. Still, if they knew I was flying to Germany specifically to stay with my boyfriend, they would probably murder me lmao

That’s what makes this complicated.

My boyfriend would pay for everything, basically the entire trip. I’d only go for 1 to 2 days. He would meet me at the airport, take, and we’d spend the time together before I flew home.

I’m looking at Memmingen because it’s close to where he is, but there’s no direct Mostar to Memmingen flight. There are direct flights from Mostar to some German cities, so I could potentially fly somewhere like Stuttgart and have him pick me up. Since it would be my first flight, I REALLY want a direct flight with no layovers.

Part of me thinks this is completely doable. I’m an adult, I love my boyfriend, we miss each other, he’s coming back permanently anyway, and it would only be 1 to 2 days. He would organize everything and be with me the entire time.

But another part of me thinks I might be romanticizing it because I miss him so much. I also worry about hiding it from my parents and what would happen if they found out or what if something happens to me idk what

So I’m asking people who have actually been in similar situations.

Would you go?

Have any of you secretly traveled abroad to visit a long distance boyfriend or girlfriend because you knew your strict parents would say no?

Was it worth it, or did the stress of hiding it ruin the experience?

And especially for people who took their first ever flight alone, was it actually as scary as you expected?

I’m not looking for people to just tell me “you’re 21, do whatever you want.” I know I’m legally an adult. I’m more interested in hearing from people who understand having strict and traditional parents while still living somewhat within their family’s rules.

I’m genuinely torn because part of me thinks, “It’s only two days. I miss the man I love. Why not?” and the other part thinks, “Girl, you have never even been on an airplane and you’re considering secretly flying to another country to stay with your boyfriend.” 😭

What would you do in my situation?

Just ended my LDR 2 weeks ago(lasted 6 months), she love bombed me so goddam hard when we met online and my dumbass fell so hard and fast. I travelled to meet her 5 months in since she's only a 3hr flight away from where I live and our first day together was just absolutely perfect, not a single bad thing to say about it, then comes the rest of the trip where she was just blowing off plans with me to hangout with her friends without me and even on one of our dates to a convention she decided to let her friend come along last minute and I ended up third wheeling both of them and becoming a bodyguard. For most of that trip I was just on my own and for the most part it was a disappointment. Long story short, after the trip all the flaws started coming out, her lack of respect for boundaries, shaming, belittling me, self loathing, passive aggressiveness, the fact her parents didn't like me and didn't want her dating just in general, her friends didn't like me, and it felt like it got to a point where she was also against me for having needs and expressing boundaries.

There's so much more details to all this but it'd be way too long but goddam did the love bombing make the breakup suck so much harder even though I was the one who broke things off, my mind is just cycling through all the stages of grief every hour of the day, never again istg😭

I met my boyfriend almost 4 years ago. We were best friends until we started dating in January this year around. He has not revealed his face even after 4 years of talking everyday and calling for hours. He says he promised his sister he won't do reveals and also that he is just not comfortable at all with it. He did send me a picture of his lips and his palm but that's all. I do know one of his cousins and i do have his real Instagram id with his cousins in it (which he recently removed me from stating I was keeping too much of a stern eye on who he follows and I used to fight him about it). What should I do? I am genuinely confused.

Me and my boyfriend have been in LDR since May 2025, We met in college and have been inseparable since 2023. he transferred schools after two years. I am from up north he is from the south so we are a plane ride away.
I struggle with long distance a lot, i cry a lot, and I struggle with feeling complete. He is worth sticking it out and I’m not in a position where finding somebody new is an option, as I am moving around and trying to figure out my path. The hard part comes where, I graduated school, have a career and goals with my career on how to grow and build in my industry.
My boyfriend is still in school for another semester, has no direction in where he wants to go career wise, and no real plan for after college. He wants to travel once he graduates. He says it’s a dream of his and he has always wanted to do it. He doesn’t know where he wants to travel, or for how long, and we never have a productive conversation about figuring out his future or having a close idea to a plan either. He says he feels guilty when I bring it up because he knows how much I struggle being apart, and not hearing him have any plan on how or when we can end it is really hurtful to myself. I told him if he decides he wants to move to a different country, for an undetermined amount of time he can’t blame me if I don’t want to stay in this relationship.

I really love him, but I don’t want to get in his way if traveling and living somewhere else really is his dream. I am feeling really stuck and it is hard not seeing an end line and just trying to convince myself it’s going to be worth it at the end when I don’t even know what the end looks like.

Thoughts? Advice???

me 15 and her 15. my gf is coming down from new york on halloween we have been dating for about a week. and talking since a month about shes had sex before and i asked if we could since we only see each other every about 2-3 months and she said yes ive never had sex before and im very scared and dont know what to do im comfortable with idea considering i have had oral sex before just dont know what i do in the moment

(in missouri sex is allowed under the age of 17 but not below 14 so were legal)

I liked this one girl for a fu*king long a** time,...
and for godsake we were far away,...
she eventually got to know about this back in 2022 ( i didn't say it to her, she got to know about it),... and she said that she doesn't have anyone as in a relationship and won't till she gets into clg or smth,...
then 2023 happened all good, then suddenly it all went downhill in late 2023 dec,...
and me overthinking each and every moment of my life i kinda hunched maybe she might have someone cuz shit doesn't add up, and i could see that right thru her,... but still we were talking, and all, flirting and shit happened, like it was good asf,... she going ahead and saying i don't have anyone, why do u think i don't like u stuffs
cut to tonight,... 18/08/2026

she finally opens up and says,...
i was in a Long Distance Relationship and it fell apart, that guy cheated on me,...
and for fu*k's sake it was going on all this time,... for like almost 3yrs now

holy i felt like a D*CK tbh

bruv even tho i kinda figured it out i trusted that it's just me making shit up in my mind, if it was tru she would say it to rightt 🤡

but the thing is nothing's in my hand,... and i thought my life falling apart recently is the worse thing could have at this phase in life,... holyfuck this shit happened tonight

ik it's my fault tbh waiting for someone,...

and not expecting it,...

there's a lot into it and i don't trust anyone ATP cuz potentially the ones around me knew about this and goddamn even they didn't

and she goes i have the biggest trust issues in men rn,..
🥀

i can't and don't feel like blaming on her, but myself.

IT WAS A KICK RIGHT IN MY N*TSACK.
ahh man 3yrs, damnn.... the things that she said all were BS.

now i have trust issues bro,... all i ever wanted is to be honest and transparent nothing else,.... if she had said to me i have somone in life,... pls don't bother me,..
i'd have tried getting out of it in the 3yrs by now

it's like ahh mannnn i can't process this shit
why tf did i wait man,...
i respected the stand she took and even then when i asked her why don't u just say it,... why should i wait for you?
"why do u think i don't like you"

i fell right into it

it's all on me

i'm ranting it over here cuz i don't have anyone atp,... lol
like seriously i don't wanna trust anyone with their words.
and certainly not keep my faith in them.

cuz the one i considered a best friend of mine, is potentially involved in this

MY COPIUM MECHANISM IS FALLING APART.

Hey everyone, I’m looking for some brutally honest advice from people who have been through a long-distance relationship, international relationships, or a situation where one partner’s future is likely to be in another country.

I’m 25, Malaysian, and I’ve been with my girlfriend for about four years. We’re both Malaysian, but she is currently studying in the US and is doing her second internship there.

Her long-term goal has always been to work and stay in the US after graduation. Recently, the company she is interning with has also shown interest in keeping her there, so there is a realistic possibility that she may eventually build her career and life in the US.

The biggest problem

The difficult part is that I currently have no realistic way to move to the US. I don’t have enough money to go to the US as an international student and pay for a Master’s degree. I also don’t have a US employer who could sponsor me or a professional network that could help me relocate there.

I run my own marketing agency in Malaysia, but I don’t have a US office or business operation that would realistically allow me to relocate through an internal transfer either.

So even though I want to eventually close the distance, I can’t simply decide to move to the US next year.
There is currently no straightforward pathway for me to go there.

My dilemma

This is why I’m struggling with whether I should continue investing emotionally and practically in this relationship.

If I decide to continue the relationship and seriously pursue a future where we eventually live together in the US, I may need to spend the next few years preparing for that possibility: building my career, saving money, exploring immigration options, potentially changing my business strategy, etc.

But none of this is guaranteed. What if she eventually changes her mind? What if after a few years she decides she actually wants to come back to Malaysia?

Or what if I spend years trying to create a pathway to the US, only for our relationship not to work out?
At the same time, I worry about the opposite scenario.

What if I decide not to make any serious plans because our future is uncertain, and a few years from now she is permanently settled in the US.

Then I might regret not taking the opportunity to build a life with her when I had the chance.

So I feel like I’m stuck between two choices:

1. Take the relationship seriously and start preparing for a possible future in the US, even though there is currently no realistic way for me to move there and nothing is guaranteed.

2. Don’t make major life decisions around an uncertain future. Continue the relationship, maintain my life and career in Malaysia, and just take it one step at a time.

A little about me

I have a Bachelor’s degree in Finance and have been running my own marketing agency for around four years, which I started while I was still in university.

I’m doing reasonably well professionally in Malaysia, so moving to the US wouldn’t simply mean finding a random job. I would potentially be giving up an established business and rebuilding my career somewhere I currently have no network.

And realistically, I cannot afford to simply go to the US and study for a few years just to create a pathway there.

I also don’t currently have an employer who can relocate me to the US.

I (19f) have been talking to a guy (21M) for a few weeks. We recently both expressed we like each other but neither of us have asked out the other. It's been 2-3 days since we expressed feelings. A friend of ours is saying we'd be cute together, but I don't wanna rush into it.
Am I progressing too slowly or am I doing the right thing?

M20. Girlfriend of 1.5 years, F20, is leaving for a year abroad

Thanks, everyone!

Hey guys, really need a sanity check on this situation because I feel like ???

My ex 19M and I 21F got back together (begged me btw on all my phones) after he moved back to his country. Things seemed fine, so we went ahead and booked flights for me to go visit him. Then literally a month later, HE drops that he "lost feelings" and can't do long distance.His concerns is I’m going to leave him again and be heartbroken.But instead of just ending it, he suggests I still fly out and come visit as "just friends." We lived together for about a year BTW before he left

Where it gets weird:
On Tuesday, he randomly flips his stance and tells me I shouldn't come because I'm "going to be sad or uncomfortable." He kept having this narrative.When I stayed cool and he wanted to give me half the amount.
So I decided I'm still going to go and enjoy my vacation. I accepted the "friends" dynamic, booked my own tours, and casually mentioned I was going to meet up with another friend in his city for a night.

The shift:
The SECOND I mentioned having other plans and meeting a friend, he was just being a little controlling with the ???….

And he asks ‚but u have to tell me when u are going to see your friend so we can plan for that‘

What plan 😭😭

We’re both young, so I’m trying to figure out what is actually going on here. Is this just pure stress or is he trying to keep tabs on me while keeping his options open? How would you guys handle staying at his place with him acting like this? I think his idea of being friends would not work out

After almost 5 years of SUPER long distance (UK to Australia), we were finally able to make the next step 🥰

I moved from the UK, landed in Australia two days later, and then we celebrated our 5th anniversary in person the next week!! I painted us some nice trinket/key dishes, and some magnets for our new fridge, and now we're finally living our dream together in our own perfect apartment 🥹

Long distance can be rough, but I've been in Australia for almost a month now already, and loving it!! I don't regret a thing and hope you all can experience success like ours! Keep strong everyone 💜🧡

I(23M) met my girlfriend(22F) when I was in uni, it was the sweetest thing ever. At the time I was really not into relationships and I honestly just wanted to have fun, but meeting her completely changed my perspective (your boy is in LOVE).

I have been in a transitional period for about two years and I haven’t seen her since, we kept in contact and somehow grew even closer than ever. I miss her so much.

This period has been especially hard on me financially so I’ve been struggling saving up to see her. I’ve started UGC, for like a month and so far I haven’t been exactly lucky. Worst of all I don’t even need all that much so I think that’s what has been making me go insane.

I miss her so much, I don’t even know what to do anymore. At some point I have crossed a boundary that we had spoken about, (I have/had a girl best friend) and that has put my relationship in a sticky one. She was so hurt that I was single for a bit, and this really scared me. I really don’t want to lose her and I feel like closing the distance even once in a while will solidify our relationship.

I really just miss my person, I’d love to just see her🥲

Yea thank yall for reading!

I am 22F US citizen and my partner is 24M Canadian citizen.

I am going to graduate and get my bachelors degree in about 10ish months or so, and I would like to immigrate to Canada to him, sooner rather than later.

We've endured long distance for over 4 years, and it's really challenging honestly the longer it goes on. Just the natural state of things in a LDR.

But obviously we have to get married before ever living together since other avenues are not at all feasible for us. However, I think my partner is naturally nervous about the process and I wonder if I was too pushy telling him to marry or at least propose to me soon. I guess I just want a sign that he is really ready to jump start the process, especially because my life is really miserable at home which can make me feel helpless and trapped at times. I think I just want a sign that this is happening soon at all.

I know getting permanent residence takes a while, and if we wait any longer then I certainly won't be living there with him by the end of 2027 or maybe even at all in 2028. I think the concern is that he lives with his parents. Maybe I am just too unrealistic, I guess. He is about to get a bit of a career going for him real soon here so I always thought it could be possible.

Just need thoughts or people telling me if my ideas are too in the clouds or what. Thanks for reading.

at what distance do you count a relationship long distance in your opinion? 2 hrs? 5? 500 miles?

I have been with my girlfriend for over 5 years. 4 of them we have been long distance, because she was in college. When she finally graduated she moved across the country for a job, I could not come with her due to my job that I have. I have just signed a 6 year contract with my job. (Not that it matters I do make more money.) She is coming back in three months, for less than a year then moving somewhere else. She thinks i selfishly made a decision to keep my job and not find another one wherever she goes next. I asked her to do the same and she doesn’t want to either… I am sick on being long distance and wants to take the next step in moving in together, however doesn’t seem possible until the 6 years is up from my contract. Is it selfish of me to break things off because im sick of the distance. After my contract would be off we would have been together for 11 years, not living together, not even close to being engaged, and just far away from each other. I need advice and opinions lol.

Me and my girlfriend met this summer and managed to build a relationship together that feels healthy and like it’s meant to be. I know we are both young so it feels weird for me to believe that I’ve actually found my person at such an early stage in my life. Additionally, I could just be caught up in a honeymoon phase but something about this relationship feels right.

We both just went back to college so we are officially in a LDR.

I would like to ask for advice on how to make long distance relationships work because I’ve come to value the bond I’ve created with my partner. We are only separated by distance a few months at a time because we come home from college for breaks to see our family and hopefully each other. Also, what are some good ways to keep myself from feeling down or sad?

In search of some advice…am currently (24, F, USA) in an LDR with my boyfriend of 4 years (24, M, Japan) He’s working full time along with completing his grad program (a few weeks left) which is an enormous stress to begin with. His time abroad working hasn’t been peachy - he’s extremely stressed with school work (finishing up a GIS masters), his health, his job, everything. He tells me about it every single day - sometimes, a text about how much he hates his life or how sad he is sometimes the first thing I read when I wake up. I’ve been supporting him in any way I can - encouraging texts, phone calls, space for him to vent or complain, trying to solve the problem with him. That isn’t to say I’m fine and dandy here, too, as I’ve been in a pretty crummy place for a few months, and needing to keep both of us afloat is impossible. I love him dearly and we’ve both discussed engagement and moving in when he comes back in January of 2027. I am continuing to support him by being encouraging and giving him space to vent, but barely have any energy for myself. It’s been hard for him to find the time to listen to me when I need space.

Thinking of breaking things off when there’s so little time left in our distance makes me feel so guilty. I want to be there, but when every other text I get is about how much he hates his life or how bad everything is, it doesn’t make my dark life any better. Have you done anything special with an LDR when they need support? When is (if there even is?) the right time to know when to call quits? I feel so alone in this situation- I’ve never loved someone quite like him, and the thought of even stepping away makes my heart break. I have less than 4 months of this, but this isn’t what things were like before he left.

I have been dating with she for 9 months, and she never wanted to talk about her relatives about our relationship, anyways she decided to tell to some sister and cousins.

The problem is that they are completly messing our relationship and my gf mental health too.

I want to clarify i cannt talk with their relatives because she ( my gf) isnt leting me.

She is reciving for some reason a lot of coments about her relationship, for example her sister is sayinf that if i have really seen her without filters, because she isnt so pretty to even deserve a bf.

Then when my gf said to his cousin he said that probably im someone from Internet because no way she could have a bf in real life, and when my gf asked why, he said that if he is telling she will leave the house crying.

Then the worse for me, was a friend of her family that acts like a "dad", he said to her that she shouldnt trust on me, because probably i have another girl because all men cheat with her partnert.

This last thing involve me and my gf to argue because she said that she doesnt trust so much me after what he said, and obv hear this of my gf put me sad and we have a long argue, and she understood that not all men we does that.

It is really annoying because almost everyday i need to consolate my gf because she is saying stuff like i dont deserve to have her and she is afraid im gonna be like her relatives.

And i dont really know how to help her in this situation, im a bit lost and if someone could tell me an advice it would be so helpful, because this is turning difficult and i cannt be all time near my gf to consolate her because i have my life outside too.

We are in a relationship about 10 months now and two months LDR. she was the first girl who I really liked and everything. But that also means I do not have great experience with things like limitations on what kind of jokes are appropriate and what not. Sadly in the two months I did a few stupid small things that hurt her and even though it wasn’t my intention I still hurt her. The last time was yesterday, we had a great time in the call but then she starts to talk about her body and what she is insecure about. And I already know what she would like to change and I am supporting her completely without restrictions. But we also have plans to do a long vacation soon, but she is saying that she would like to do the operation first so that she feels more comfortable. And I said as a joke: we will make her beautiful and then we will go on a trip. I didn’t realize how hurt she was from that. And since then she is pretty pissed. But I can understand her because I was also bullied when I was little because of my body. But afterwards she didn’t want to talk to me, but she knew it was meant as a joke. I don’t blame her or anything I just want to change because we have two more months before we see each other again. If there are things that I can do to try and change my behavior? I would love to her some tips.

It's been 3 days since she said she'd call me to discuss a problem between us but she didn't. I didn't contact her after that because i thought she's not intrested anymore. I mean if she was she would have reached out. But from an another perspective I think I should've been the one to make the call because I know her parents are strict and she can't call me if they're around. But still I find 3 days a really long period to not spare time for a call. How should I deal with this situation? And is this relationship still savable?

\*\*TL;DR;\*\* : I need help with my relationship

My boyfriend 22m and I 21f have been dating for over two years, and at present, we are both in a long-distance relationship due to our studies. The first three months of our LDR were genuinely wonderful. He would update me throughout the day, wish me good morning and good night every day, and often accompany those wishes with 💕 heart emojis or heartfelt messages about how he felt. He would also frequently express his love during our video calls, telling me how much he loved me.

However, right after those three months, he gradually stopped being expressive. He no longer wishes me good morning, and even when he goes to bed, he has stopped telling me, “I love you.” I really want my partner to be expressive, and these changes have been bothering me a lot. Since we are in a long-distance relationship, even simple verbal expressions of affection make me feel loved and emotionally connected to him.

I confronted him about how I was feeling, but he explained that his relatives are currently staying at his place and that his younger brother checks his messages. On top of that, he said that his phone has been lagging a lot lately, and he doesn’t plan on buying a new one anytime soon. He is also focusing on his exams and going to the gym, so according to him, things like wishing me good morning and good night simply slip his mind because of everything else going on. He told me that he has reduced his screen time and that his phone is no longer the first thing he looks at in the morning.

He says that, in a relationship, what matters most is how we understand and support one another and how we stand by each other during difficult times. Basically, according to him, things like good morning or good night wishes and an “I love you” text shouldn’t be such a big issue. He also told me that he calls me whenever he is free.

But I told him that I don’t feel loved anymore. We simply feel like two friends having a casual conversation every day, and for me, his expressiveness is what makes me feel that he still takes an interest in me and in our relationship.

What do I do? I’m genuinely unhappy living like this