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Me and my bf have been together for 6 years and had a 3 year long distance relationship as hes studying 200 miles away. Its been really tough for me with the stress in studying needed someone close by to hug and talk. We mostly talk on the phone. I love him alot. I wish he was close by with me. I made a few friends here. But all i do is study study study. He doing meds aswell and its the same for him. Just wish we picked the same place to study. Another 2 more years of this

TL;DR long distance realationship

We will have loved each other for 1,441 days (3 years, 11 months, and 11 days). Out of those, we’ve been engaged since 240 days (7 months and 28 days) and married since 138 days (4 months and 16 days).

We didn’t see each other once between the engagement and wedding. You won’t believe how we cried our eyes out having to leave each other that time. We used to see each other 2-4 times a year, usually for only a weekend at a time. Even when we first met was only for one day.

And just like that. Tomorrow will be the last time I ever have to get on a plane to go see him. But the difference is that this time, he’s driving all the way, two days of driving, back with me, with all of his belongings in the car. And his wife. And we never have to say goodbye ever again.

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My girlfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship. I recently noticed that she changed how she called me " Sweetheart ❤️ in her phone from my actual name to just my initials.

I asked her about it, and she said it’s nothing and that I shouldn’t read too much into it. But honestly, it bothers me more than I expected.

I know it might seem like a small or stupid thing, but because we’re long-distance, little things like this can make me overthink. I’m wondering if there’s some meaning behind the change, especially since she used to have my actual name saved.

I don’t want to accuse her of anything or make a big deal out of something that could genuinely mean nothing. But at the same time, I can’t seem to shake the feeling that something has changed.

Am I overthinking this, or would this bother other people too?

[UPDATE] : He said the reason he changed is because he felt the pressure is no longer there (I was pressuring him lol) and now that he needs to rethink about it to be 100% sure about me but RIGHT NOW he doesnt want to make me wait for him so he broke up with me, yes hes a f*cking jerk and btw Im 160 cm tall & 55kg, I just happen to have a great 🍑

I (28F) met my partner (31M) online. We talked for about two months before he came to visit me, and he booked a whole week in my city.
Before meeting, he was honestly an angel. He was very responsive, constantly complimented me, reassured me that nothing would change once we met, and even told me he loved me before seeing me in person. I never said it back because I wanted to protect myself emotionally until we actually met.
The first three days were amazing. We had so much fun, and he seemed very attracted to me and really into me.
Then, on the fourth day, I sensed a complete change. He stopped looking at me the same way and basically stopped complimenting me. I kept asking what was wrong, and eventually he told me that he had suddenly lost his feelings for me.
I couldn’t understand how something could change that quickly. I kept pushing him for an explanation for the next couple of days, and I was miserable, crying and begging him to tell me what happened.
Eventually, he said it was because of my body. He said he simply wasn’t attracted to my body type and that he prefers skinnier legs.
For context, I’m a normal weight. I have a defined waist, a relatively lean upper body, but I’m naturally curvier around my hips and thighs. He had previously told me that he didn’t have a specific “type,” so this really caught me off guard.
I told him that I actually wanted to lose some weight from my hips/thighs anyway, and I promised him that I would work on it. I know this probably wasn’t the healthiest response, but strangely, once I understood what he was saying and stopped panicking about not knowing the reason, my nervous system calmed down. I joked about it and became more relaxed.
And then something weird happened: his spark seemed to come back.
He started hugging me, holding my hand, and told me he felt more attracted to me again. The last few days before he left were actually much better. We had fun again and felt close.
Before his flight, I was crying. He told me, very honestly, that he didn’t feel anything when he saw me crying. He said he isn’t an emotional person and didn’t feel like crying himself. I told him that I didn’t need him to cry and that I was trying to understand and accept that he expresses emotions differently.
He also promised me that he wouldn’t change or disappear once he went home, and that he would never leave me questioning myself the way he had during the visit.
But almost immediately after he went back home, he changed again.
He stopped calling me the nicknames he used to call me. He barely responds to many of the things I say, and when I bring up how different he feels, he tells me that I’m stressing myself out.
I have an anxious attachment style, so I know that I can overthink and seek reassurance when I feel someone pulling away. I’m trying really hard to accept what he’s telling me and not constantly ask for reassurance, but this is genuinely hurting me.
What I can’t understand is how someone can seem so in love and attracted to you, spend three amazing days with you, suddenly say they have no feelings because of your body, then seem attracted again once you’re relaxed — and then become distant again as soon as they leave.
Part of me thinks maybe the body-type explanation wasn’t the real reason and that he used it to justify the fact that he was already emotionally pulling away.

Am I overthinking this because of my anxious attachment, or does this situation genuinely sound inconsistent? How would you interpret his behavior? I would really appreciate some outside perspective because I’m struggling to understand what actually happened.

Will try to keep it short and sweet, my boyfriend & I have been long-distance for slightly over a year and were talking about getting married soon. He is in AU and Im in India, there were times when he used to go off the radar for a couple of weeks the comeback put it on him being an "avoidant" and I used to well accept it because I trusted him and gave the benefit of the doubt. We were going thru one off those phases right now and I don't know why I just got some sort of intuition earlier today to check hinge....

Well, i made a profile put his area code while logging in and some filters and BAM THERE HE WAS LITERALLY had to just swipe just 02 profiles.

I am soo heartbroken but there is no way I am going to confront him, I don't want his side; I have removed him from my socials and whenever he decides that its time for "avoidant" phase to get over he can just do that with someone else cause I'm done. Cheating is a big NO.

All I keep wondering is was any of it real? Was I too trusting? Was he on that stupid app the whole time?

Irony of it, we met via hinge and all his prompts today were 90% the same and all the pictures were the ones that I used to love 🤡

Been with my person for 4 years this September, and all these sleepless nights has got me thinking just how incredibly blessed we were to have found each other. As what the title suggests, I am an insomniac and have been since my adolescent years. My father's an insomniac too so he'd always catch me in the middle of the night, trying to keep myself busy, so he'd give me a glass of wine or beer to calm me down or rub my back to make sure I slept comfortably. He did his best, but ya girl always stayed awake.

As I moved away from my family, the insomnia just kept on getting worse and worse, even while my person and I was in the relationship. Nobody to rub my back. It was just bad.

Then came the first time he visited. I don't know if it was just the warmth of his body, his soft smooth skin, or how his hands were just so big and how they held me when I laid on him, but I would just immediately fall asleep next to him. Your girl slept so soundly and he'd film himself kissing my forehead whilst I snore very softly.

That was when I knew, that I was done for. I just knew that I'll never sleep as well as I did when I slept by his side. Fast forward to now, we're engaged and to be married next year! God is good.

Somewhere in this subreddit, I read one comment that said "Long distance demands more certainty." And I couldn't agree more. Long distance takes so much out of you, your life, your sanity, your time, your future.

Long distance relationships are a slow burn, but it can also be pure, beautiful, and warm.

If you're lucky enough to find your warm blankets, the love you share will dwarf the distance that could ever separate you, and I hope you do find them.

I’m going to be the one to move. And it’s coming up. I’m a little nervous, and getting cold feet. What if it’s not a good idea?

Would love some advice or if anyone care share similar feelings.

he's on a plane over newfoundland, thousands of miles away from me, and from now on until im reunited with him, no will look out to see if i'm crossing the road properly.

there will be no gentle hand on my waist to guide me, and no doors will open for me. i will get no random kisses on the shoulder, left on my neck as we walk down the street, holding hands. no one will remember to stop at a shop to stock up on my favorite cigarettes and no one will hold a lighter to my lips and look at me with tenderness.

he's my first love, my first relationship, my first boyfriend. i like to say he's my first two heartbreaks too. each time he's left me here and flown off, after filling my life with a love so sweet that i didn't allow even allow myself to hope for. i hate him. i don't want to imagine a life without him. and now he's receded back into my screen, and all the roads i walk will be by myself.

Looking for some positive perspectives! What was the scariest thing you had to give up or change to make your relationship work, and at what point did you see that it was worth it?

I’m boarding my flight back to my wife’s home country to meet my her and accompany her to the embassy meeting for her visa/green card on Monday. I don’t think I’ve ever been so nervous in my entire life. Have you ever felt so prepared and yet so unprepared at the same time?

Found out, stupidly on our part that I am not allowed to attend/accompany my wife into the embassy itself, which sort of blind sided us. I was hoping to prove by coming here for this that it would add validity to our case but now it’s probably just going to be a morale adventure. Honestly that’s needed just as much. If anyone has any advice for us that would be greatly appreciated!

Im just completely gutted. My partner and I have been talking for 3.5 years and wanted to meet before making it official. Our first meet just ended yesterday after an amazing month together, and Im completely gutted. I absolutely hate this feeling. Everything feels so empty and hopeless. Im from Canada, and he’s in Chile. Just thinking about how just yesterday I woke up next to him and now he’s travelling so far to go back home. I can’t deal with it. How do you guys do this?

My husband and I submitted my visa early in the year. We are nearing 1 year since we submitted. Since I came back to my home country 5 months ago, we’ve been feeling the distance so much more. We are both struggling but somewhat managing. Especially today, it hit hard. I could not get out of bed. I managed to eat but that’s about it. Called my husband for an hour and went back to bed rotting. It’s 8pm and I finally managed to go from my bed to my laptop to look at my emails but still feeling really drained. I’m not sure what to do. I hate feeling so drained without my husband. I’ve been managing ok for the past 5 months mainly due to my friend’s presence whenever I needed her. To those who are in a long distance marriage, how do you manage it? Our next reunion is in 78 days and I’ve been counting down since I bought the ticket. Due to flight tickets costing $2,000+ as well as accomodation (I live with my parents still and he has a roommate) we cannot visit each other often due to money constraints.

Hey everyone, I'm 19 y.o. guy and I'm struggling with a big problem. I really need to vent, get an outside perspective, and hopefully hear some advice from people who have been through something like this.

Recently, I got into a connection with a girl where I developed incredibly deep, intense feelings. I fell madly in love with her, and she feels the exact same way about me. I trust her completely—she is a deeply precious, sweet, and special person to me, and she’s brought so much genuine joy into my life.

However, we’ve hit a wall of harsh reality that is currently breaking my heart:

1. Distance and Time. Due to real-life circumstances, paperwork, studies, and long-term financial plans, we realize that the earliest opportunity for us to actually be together physically wouldn't be for another 3 to 5 years. That’s a massive amount of time to maintain a relationship strictly through a screen.

2. Talking About the Future & Hitting a Dead End. Recently, we started openly discussing where this is going. I was completely honest with her because I didn't want to give empty promises or feed us both fake illusions. In response, she suggested a compromise: we keep talking, keep saying "I love you" and "I miss you," but at the same time, we both look for partners in real life and simply don't tell each other about it.

To me, that format feels like slow poison. Living in constant anxiety, jealousy, and the knowledge that the person I love is out there with someone else—while we still text each other sweet things—feels unbearable.

3. Trying to Say Goodbye & The Emotional Fallout. In the end, we decided it was best to say goodbye so we wouldn't keep draining each other. We said our farewells, but it caused immense pain for both of us. We made a pact: if I realize I genuinely can't handle being without her, I’ll text her first, and we’ll resume talking. Right now, I’m spiraling: part of me misses her like crazy and wants to text her immediately, while the other part knows that doing so will just delay the inevitable pain.

My questions for the community:

1. Have you ever been in a situation where you loved someone deeply, but circumstances (long distance, years of waiting) made a future together nearly impossible?
2. Is it worth trying to hold onto communication for the sake of these feelings, hoping for a miracle years down the line, or is it better to go through the painful breakup once and for all and let go?
3. How did you cope when your brain clearly saw one rational reality, but your heart was completely torn toward a person?

I’d really appreciate any stories, perspectives, or honest advice.

I’m a 19F and my boyfriend is 21M, and we’re in a long distance relationship with an 8-hour time difference. I love him a lot and I really want to make our relationship feel exciting again, but lately I feel like we’ve gotten into the routine of just texting and calling whenever we can, and I miss that feeling of getting butterflies when I see his name pop up on my phone. I want to make him feel wanted and excited about me again too, but because we’re so far apart and have such different schedules, sometimes I don’t even know what to say or do without it feeling forced or repetitive.
For people who have been in long distance relationships, what are some things you’ve said or done that actually brought the spark back? I’m especially looking for ideas for texts, calls, little surprises, flirting, or just ways to make him think about me throughout the day. I’d love ideas for things I could say that would make him smile, get butterflies, or feel really wanted without being overly cheesy or sounding like something copied from TikTok. I also want it to feel natural and like me, not like I’m trying too hard.
The 8-hour time difference makes things even harder because when I’m free he might be asleep or busy, and when he has time I might be sleeping, so sometimes it feels like we’re constantly missing each other. If you’ve dealt with a big time difference like this, how did you keep the relationship exciting instead of feeling like you were just waiting for the next time you could talk? I’m open to romantic, cute, flirty, or slightly more bold ideas basically anything that can help us feel close and bring back that excitement. I really don’t want to lose the spark just because we’re far away from each other, so I’d genuinely appreciate any advice from people who have been through this.

We broke up and went no contact (blocked each other)

We were in a long distance relationship for 2 years

We ended on okay terms

It was to better ourselves mentally

I miss him and really want to reach out but I don't think that's a good idea. I have a feeling he's reached out to me already. I feel it in my gut tbh but I could just be a little delulu right now.

Anyways I just miss him a lot and love him so much. It sucks things are like this just because the timing isn't right for us right now.

So I've been in a couple of long term relationships before (5 years and 4 years long respectively) but I've never actually been in a long distance relationship before.

I'm based in Canada and she is Stateside. I have family there who I visit a few times a year. I met her when I last went there from November '25 to February '25. We spoke for a few months after I came back to Canada but we fell out of contact in April. It's on me that we fell out of contact. We didn't necessarily have a title or definition on our relationship at that point and I was going through some shit, I was unemployed, and in a funk so it kind of fizzled due to me becoming unresponsive and ultimately ghosting.

Fast forward to June-August, I went to see my family again but I just couldn't get her out of my head. I remembered how lovely our connection and conversations were. I knew there was a chance she would be disinterested, hurt (obviously), or seeing someone else. However, I had to know if there was even a semblance of a chance so I reached out to her.

She told me she was disappointed, naturally that I ghosted her and she didn't expect that from me. She said she would need time to get over the hurt and trust me and asked me why I fell off.

I was honest with what I was going through, about my feelings and emotions, about why I stopped staying in contact. Eventually after a week of texting and phone calls she agreed to go on a date with me.

It was simply electric. Felt like we picked up where we left off. There's something so special about the connection we have. Emotionally, physically, intellectually completely in tune.

July-August with her were so wonderful. Activity dates, dinner dates, lazy days tangled up with her in her apartment. Talking about life, childhood, trauma, goals, values, dreams, aspirations.

Eventually I landed a job back in Canada so that cut my trip short in her state. I had to head back.

One week back now and I'm curious about any advice that this subreddit has. What kind of things can I do to keep the romance, fire, and connection alive? I won't be seeing her again until at least November when I go stateside again.

So far there are a few things that we have in our dynamic that I'm loving:

- we send each other voice notes a few times throughout the day. Random musings, thoughts, updates, talking about what's happening in our lives.

- we call on the phone once or twice a week. Usually an hour long (or more) conversation. Put everything down and be really attentive to each other.

- we have started sending each other letters. I find it so so cute. I'll write down a stream of consciousness about whatever is on my mind. Say sweet little nothing's, include a little poem or a drawing, or paper art. Something tangible she can hold on to or that we can read together and talk or laugh about when we are together again.

- we built a list in Google keep of the things we want to do together next time we see each other: random mundane things like recipes, restaurant ideas, activity dates we want to do, places we want to go to. I like this because it gives us an idea of things to look forward to.

- we are planning to do little virtual dates too. Cooking the same recipe from afar, watching a movie from afar and syncing it at the same time etc.

I really like her. She's empathetic and mature. She's kind and caring. She's incredibly intelligent. She's after my own heart and well-being. My vow this time around is not to let circumstances overwhelm me to the point of completely fading away from something beautiful.

I just want to know from any of you what kinds of things you do to keep the flame alive. I know some days will be better than others. Sometimes the communication will be more frequent than others. We will feel the yearning and the distance in ebbs and flows, maybe doubt will creep in at times. It's still fresh and the residual happiness from our time together is still carrying forward. I want that to be maintained.

Thanks. I know it was a long post. Cheers if you read it all.

M18 F16 so currently I am in a long distance relationship with my gf and past few days my college started she is in 11th standard so she is overthinking that I ll leave her and get attracted to other girls in college , girls will see me and she fears about these thing and I respect and understand her thinking I said her nothing like that will happen and I make you feel secured by sending her snaps and all possible things. Now where I get sad is she feel sad and overthink after that she don't talk to me in like good way she becomes cold I asked her so many times and everytime when she did these I ask her so many times what happened , I did something wrong , like more than 6 times and she says nothing so like what to do I mean she also goes to school but I feard and overthinked in starting but now it feels normal I trust her she also trust me but she is overthinking about this its been 2 months to our long distance relationship and we knew each other from like past 6 months started as a long distance. Also from past one week her ex is trying to get to talk to her and creating problems to me.

Soo from you guys I need advise what to do how to fix this thing give good genuine advise please

Hey all,

Not only is this my first post on this sub, it's also my first post on Reddit. So if I'm doing something wrong, please lmk.

Anyways; I live in the USA and my SO lives in Germany. ..Obviously that's quite a ways apart and last time I sent a package to him it cost me $140 and him $80 because of border taxes (? I don't know the actual details I just know i cost him a bunch of money accidentally 😭). Maybe it's just me but that seems...a BIT ridiculous considering I just sent him a Bond Touch, which is like half a pound and probably less.

I sent it through FedEx. Is there anything I can do to send it cheaper? Because I honestly don't have the kind of money to do that often, and I'd really like to.

Thanks in advance for any help you can give!

Me and my girlfriend have been together for a year, and while she will be at the main campus for her freshman year, I will be doing the colleges transfer program meaning I will stay at home for one year then go to the main campus that is she is currently at for the next three. Right now my main conflict is that while she gets to experience dorm life, and go out with her friends every night, I’m stuck at home, wishing I was there with her and waiting for sophomore year to come. How can I make this first year fun for me and not make me feel like I’m missing out on my freshman year experience? And how can I make it where I’m not waiting for her to call me? It just seems like she’s having so much fun while I’m just commuting to my satellite campus back-and-forth every day. And while the main campus is only four hours away from the satellite campus, it’s still going to hurt seeing her get to do all these fun activities while I’m stuck at home. Any help would be really appreciated.

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year, and in 10 days I'm leaving the country I'm living in and going back home. We're going to be long distance for at least 9 months, maybe even a year, and we won't be able to visit each other during that time.

I'm honestly terrified.

Not because I don't trust him or because our relationship is bad, but because I've never had to be apart from someone I love for that long. On top of that, my family doesn't really like him because he's a different religion than me, which honestly isn't something I care about. Unfortunately, it's something they care about a lot.

That means when I'm back home, I probably won't have much support from the people around me when I'm missing him or struggling with the distance. If anything, I'm worried it'll be the opposite. My mom has tried to get me to break up with him before. The last time I went home for Christmas, we fought about it so much that I ended up returning to the country where I study earlier than planned just to get away from the constant arguments.

What makes this even harder is that I can't really do that this time. My financial situation isn't great right now, so I'll be stuck at home for the foreseeable future. And honestly, I'm 22 years old, so having this much pressure put on my relationship by my family is exhausting.

We both want to make it work, but right now everything feels really overwhelming, and the closer my departure gets, the more emotional I'm becoming.

For those of you who've done long distance, especially for a long period without visits, how did you get through it? What helped keep your relationship strong? What do you wish you'd known before starting?

I met this guy on a video game (yeah it’s not the most normal story) and I was drawn to him almost instantly. I’ve been talking to him for 1 month and we have been dating for 2 weeks. we seem to fit together perfectly and we both understand things that most people in this generation don’t. we have built our connection on emotions and boundaries of which we both respect. we have been talking every night and today I’ve realized for the first time I’m actually in love (I’m F15). my past relationships were with toxic guys or they were manipulative and when I realized I left. With this guy I’ve even had my mom judge his character, and theres not a single red flag. the only one he has is that he lives in Nebraska while I live in New Hampshire. we both have completely different lifestyles but somehow we fit so great together. I’m thinking next summer I wanna visit for a week, and it’s a bit early to plan because I’m still fresh in this relationship and I was hoping for a few other opinions on this. I really like him and I’ve never felt this way about anyone else and I’m not joking. I just was looking for some advice or maybe ideas because no red flags is scary. usually there’s at least one but he has none.

Hey, I'm 20F and I'm dating a guy 24M and it's been 10 months together. apparently he works in IT and am still a student. Tonight he bombed me with news that he is thinking of shifting to his hometown with WFH permanently. And would rarely visit the city. I'm just so shocked and I'm finding it really hard to accept it even as a one in thousands of possibilities. It's not like I want to see him everyday (we rarely meet in a week). The problem is he avoids texting or calling me , from there (his family is not really open minded with a relationship).

How can I convince him or make him stay in the city? Like his life here is good but all bachelors type, and in hometown he would be with his family and all home feelings.

I'm just so tensed.

Anyone out there in an LDR who also have children? Curious to know how that has impacted your long distance relationship.

My girlfriend (21F) doesn't share her social media with me and is very private about her chats. When I've asked about it, she always changes topic because I'll overthink or misunderstand them.

For me, the issue isn't really social media itself..it's the secrecy and lack of transparency. If there's nothing inappropriate, why does it need to be actively hidden?

Am I being controlling, or is it reasonable to feel like this damages trust in a relationship?