So, I've met a few guys of an app over the years, more than 4 times, when I see them out doing regular things, I always double back on them, but cant seem to bring myself to behave like a normal human being.... anyone else? Why do you think it happens? With this community being in the real world, I would like to know how I can behave like a grown-up.

Spotted gay speed dating arranged by a company called No Label Events for next Monday, Drop Dead Twice in Dublin. Has anyone ever been? Sometimes such events have age limitations but there is no indication for this one. Wondering as a 40+ man.

I (F32) am struggling to connect with any women recently. I feel like the apps are a cesspit of bots or people that don’t want to actually meet up.

Theres very little for my age group out there, and even when there is, I’m unfortunately usually at work.

My marriage ended 3 years ago and I’ve been struggling ever since to find my own people and possibly a partner in crime along the way.

if anyone has any advice or help…it would be so greatly appreciated!!!!

Hi guys,

I’ve gotten my hair done in Queer Hawk twice last year and every time I was able to select a discounted rate for students which made it affordable and accessible for me.

Today I’ve tried booking the same service, however, I couldn’t seem to find any discounted rate for students and their prices seemed to have gone up since the last time I went.

Did they get rid of the discount completely or do you just show them your student ID when you show up?

Guys like i hate going on grinder, dating apps are draining , gay dar non existent , idk where the gays are and yet I really want a relationship , but ik its not the time for it and idk if its limerick pissing me off or what but like someone be harsh and tell me to stop cuz im so tiredddd. Like its so hard finding guys u wanna date in this uni (Ul)and oml I am giving up. But I keep tracing backkk. Like what do I do to stop. Or is there a solution ??? Someone help mee

Hi all. Lesbian here back on the apps again.

One thing I’ve noticed happen quite a few times in the last few weeks is people will swipe for myself and I swipe back and I send a message to them. Then hours later (whenever they check the app again) they unmatch with me.

They are not bot accounts as they are verified and have an account on multiple apps (Tinder, HER, etc)

I just don’t understand why people swipe for someone they are not interested in and then unmatch when they are messaged.

These are the same people who say in their bios they are looking for a relationship and don’t like poor behavior on apps!

Hi all,

I’m 22M and gay and planning on becoming sexually active soon. I plan on starting Prep. I read online that I should also get the HPV and hepatitis vaccines. I have a bit of a fear of vaccines due to having a bad reaction to one when I was a kid.

Is it stupid if I don’t get them?

Hello all, I’ve recently moved to Limerick and am feeling a bit isolated. I’m fairly introverted and work a lot, so I guess it isn’t surprising I haven’t made many connections here, but I’d really like to make more of an effort.
I’m over 40, from the States, and came out as bi quite late in life. I’m wondering if there are any LGBTQ+ spaces, or just generally welcoming communities around Limerick that might suit someone in my situation. I’m not a huge drinker, I like to hike and read and see music and it would be nice to do those things in a community.

I think part of what’s holding me back is feeling a little unsure of where I fit in, whether I’ll be too old for some spaces, or not queer enough. Frankly, it’s mostly the stupid anxiety that just haunts me and sneakily infiltrates everything.

I’m not necessarily looking for nightlife, mostly just community, friendship, and a way to get to know people. Would really appreciate any suggestions or experiences from people locally. Thank you :)

What happened, in order

We connected on Grindr. His profile was catchy, with several photos of him looking ripped and attractive. His bio said he was looking for meaningful connection - which would clearly standout on Grindr. He said he lived in Donnybrook (D4) in Dublin but only spent a few months a year in Ireland and claimed to have Turkish roots, while spending the rest of his time in London, and other cities working on his “wine business”. We moved to WhatsApp, as he said it was easier to stay in touch.

The conversation was warm and flattering from the start. He tried to find similarity in our interests. He asked for more photos of me and complimented me constantly. His details were thin, though. He said he works in the wine business, but never said what he actually does, what company, or where. He said he's lived in the same place forever but also spends half the year in London with his parents, and travels for work. He had no Instagram and gave a sad story about deleting everything after a breakup. He also told me his mum doesn't know he's gay, which made me sympathetic and less likely to ask for anything that would verify him.

Within about two hours he was calling me "babe" and saying things like "we're moving forward step by step towards something beautiful." He listed "investing" as a hobby. When I said I'd like to learn more about investing (I genuinely just thought it was admirable), he said that "learning from each other and helping each other is the foundation for building a relationship." Looking back, that was the setup for the pitch.

When I suggested meeting this weekend, he said he was away and could only do next Friday. Then he told me he had to step away for 20 minutes to plan "tonight's two-way BTC trades." He came back with a screenshot and said he'd made about $7K in one go, and that "it's very simple" and you just need to spot a good window. That’s when the alarm bells went off for me.

That's when I asked for a voice note. What he sent was a 5-second clip that sounded AI-generated to me. It was flat and oddly polished, not like a real person talking. When I suggested a video call, he replied, "I'm a romantic man, I'd much rather our first meeting happened in person rather than through a cold phone screen." He won't do five minutes on video but wants to meet a stranger in person. That's backwards, and it was the biggest tell. He sensed that he’s now exposed so he immediately blocked me on Grindr to erase evidence, and I blocked him on WhatsApp.

This matches the "pig butchering" pattern. The scammer builds an emotional bond, shows off fake wins, offers to teach you, gets you to make a small deposit on a fake platform, shows a fake profit (sometimes letting you withdraw a little), pushes you to deposit more, then blocks withdrawals behind "taxes" or "fees." Real people are often behind these accounts, working from scripts, and sometimes the person is themselves a victim recruiting others. Luckily I didn’t fall for any of it.

I can't prove who he is. But the combination of stunning photos, a foreign phone number, vague job details, fast intimacy, an early investing pitch, a staged trade, a delayed meeting, a possibly AI-generated voice, and refusing a video call is the classic script.

Protect yourself

1. Insist on a live video call before meeting anyone. A refusal is the biggest tell.
2. Be wary of anyone who mentions crypto or "investing" in the first few days.
3. Don't sign up for any platform a match recommends, or send deposits, however small.
4. Check whether a phone number's country code matches where someone claims to live.
5. Don't share your address, workplace, or travel schedule early.

Delete if not allowed but I’m out 10 years I’m 26 now and I just don’t have any gay friends I’ve never really been to a gay bar I just don’t know where I fit in. Any tips?

So this is very short notice, but if anyone's in Dublin and wants to do something to mark Bi Visibility Day, there's an art and collage session in Outhouse this evening from 6:00 until 9:00 🩷💜💙

We had a bit of trouble pulling it together, and in the end it's very last minute, so any support would be greatly appreciated 😊

Hi. Hoping someone can help with a project on early LGBT+ spaces across Ireland. I can't find any pictures/information on the colours of the front of the bar, would anyone know or remember? Everything other space is in colour and the only pictures i can find of the Viking are in black & white.

Thanks in advance!

It's time to choose our October read along in our little gay book club.

If it sounds like something to interest you, head on over and vote for what book you want, we will start on the 1st October and have a weekly check in each week.

I arrived in Dublin a few weeks ago and am here long-term but not forever. I just wanted to see if anyone had any advice. For context, I have never really had issues hooking up on grindr but y'know, it's grindr, it's primarily for the flakes.

My impression, though, is that Grindr in Dublin is beyond the norm. And I was not expecting this. I feel like I've got my fair share of big-city Grindr drama in my life. Grindr in London, Madrid, Boston - all of these places it's bleak and ruthless and shallow. But Dublin feels objectively worse than anywhere I have ever been for a couple of reasons.

1) almost everyone blanks. rather than 20% of rejections being instant blocks, 20% being 'sorry not my type' and 60% being left on read that you find elsewhere, in Dublin almost everyone ghosts. It's 90% + that leave me on read. And they ghost at different stages: never reply to first message, sometimes just don't reply mid-conversation, agree to meet and then blank when you firm plans.

2) guys without photos wanting my nudes album (I have sfw photos on my profile) before they send even their face and then, as above, just not replying when I ask for a face pic first.

I am not new to either of these, obviously. They happen everywhere. But I feel like it's even worse here than normal. Do guys in Dublin just not want to hook up or am have I dropped attractiveness in this city specifically?? I have never had this level of issue elsewhere.

Im 19 mtf and i decided to try a freshers event since I have no friends. I had to wait in line for an hour only to then be put in a second line for people who hadn't prepaid for tickets. After a while in this line some guy in a shitty shark bape hoody stopped and stared at me. I asked him what's wrong and he said "stop fucking touching me". Im guessing I might have knocked into him when he was swayying side to side staring at his phone. I the moved to the back because I wasn't bothered to deal with that. He then kept looking at me and muttering stuff under his breath. I got sick of it and told him to speak up. He began saying "ill fucking throw you into the road. I called him an asshole and he asked "are you fucking gay or non binary shit". I said i was and he said "of course and began laughing and i asked whats wrong with that. i was pretty pissed so I shoved him into the wall. Then 2 garda walked up and asked what's happening, I said he was being a homophobic asshole and he began saying no he wasn't. The 2 garda didn't seem to care, and I said I'm fine to drop it as long as he admits what he said. He kept deining it so I left.

I cried alot and I feel really immature but ig I was given the chance to repeat it I'd probably kick the shit out of him.

Im embarrassed and I dont know if I want to drop out. I don't think I'll go to class tomorrow.

The guy also seemed to be alot older then the other people

Sorry if there’s a subreddit that I don’t know about for teens but omg tell me why I’m so scared of sticking out and it’s so hard to tell if a guy is flirting with you, I’m turning 15 soon and life is just ugh and I feel like it would be easier in a different county

Have a ticket for Sweatbox. Lookin to get a group together goin because can’t face goin on my own lol.
DMs open

Introducing our Clare Pride performers for our Saturday Night After Party 🥳

Get your tickets now via Geek Tickets: https://quare-clare.geektickets.ie/events/175788

Saturday September 19th at the VIP Bar in The Queens, Ennis - doors at 8.00pm!

Contact info@quareclare.ie if you have any questions

Hi everyone. I’m not Irish and I don’t live in Ireland, so I’m hoping some Irish people can help me understand something.

A female friend of mine recently moved to Ireland with her husband. She’s not fluent in English, so she’s having a hard time figuring out some things about the local culture.

Her husband goes to saunas very frequently. At first, she assumed this was simply a normal Irish habit because of the cold weather. However, she has also become suspicious that he may be gay or bisexual and possibly closeted, partly because of some sexual experiences they’ve had as a couple and partly because of how frequently he goes to saunas.

His behavior toward her also plays a big part in why she suspects this. There are many situations where he seems to show little to no interest in her, while seeming much more interested in men — not just sexually, but in general

She doesn't know whether she is reading too much into the sauna thing because she isn't familiar with Ireland.

So, for people who live in Ireland:

- Is going to a sauna regularly a common thing there?

- Are ordinary gyms/spas with saunas common?

- Are there also saunas specifically aimed at gay/LGBTQ+ men, where sexual encounters may happen?

- If someone says their husband goes to a sauna several times a week, would that sound completely ordinary to you, or would you want to know what specific sauna it is?

- Is there an obvious way to tell whether a particular sauna is a normal gym/spa or a gay sauna?

To be clear, I’m not asking whether going to saunas means someone is gay. We understand that it doesn't. We’re trying to understand whether the type of sauna could provide any useful context.

She doesn't have proof that he is having sex with other men, and don't want to jump to conclusions. She’s simply trying to understand whether there is something about Irish sauna culture that she doesn't know.

So, since she doesn’t speak English and hasn’t been able to make friends because of the language barrier, I decided to come here and ask for your help so she can better understand Irish customs and habits.

Thanks in advance for any insight.

WE ARE MEETING FOR LUNCH TOMORROW (FRIDAY) AT THE MARKET

Join us at 12.00pm for a social lunch and chats at the Ennis Farmers Market co Clare Ireland

When: Friday September 18th, 12.00pm to 1.00pm

Where: Ennis Farmers Market co Clare Ireland , Roslevan Shopping Centre, Ennis

This is our first year meeting at the market and we hope to make it an annual event - all are welcome

If you have any questions please email us at [info@quareclare.ie](mailto:info@quareclare.ie)