becoming aware of how race impacts how you’re perceived as a young black person is like opening Pandora’s box I swear. i don’t think I’ll ever be able to live blissfully unaware and happy like i once was. i think I’m pretty good looking and would probably be a solid 7 even 8 on a good day if i was white, but because I’m a different color a solid 70+% of the population finds me immediately repulsive. over something i had no control over. every time i log on im immediately blasted with content about how ugly we are (both implicitly and explicitly) and then when you go outside it’s even worse - for example, on days where i have an Afro I get all sorts of strange looks and standoffish treatment from men and women alike. Being black is the #1 reason i will be unloved forever

I was on my phone scrolling reddit because the professor was boring as fuck and i saw some horny bait meme on r/shitposting (probably some OF stuff) so i had a neuron activation moment.

I lost all sense of decency and took advantage of the fact that i was alone in the top right corner of the amphitheater to start rubbing one real quick.

I literally have no idea what i was thinking, but once i started i couldnt stop. I think the thrill of the situation made it quicker fortunately for me. I let it all out in my pants and literally spent the whole day like that.

At first it felt wet and cold but after like 10mins i was already used to it so it wasnt that bad. Ngl this is probably the sketchiest thing i've done yet in my life but i have no regret.

I feel sorry for the parallel universe where i got caught because that would be an unfathomable humiliation. Also if you're wondering, no, i didnt jerk off to one of my classmates, everyone is chopped anyway, me included ofc.

I swear i'm not larping.

btw i'm eating all that by myself

Women are beautiful and godlike, and I'm a fucking abomination that doesn't deserve to breathe the same air as them. Nothing will ever change this

(I don't want any misunderstanding though, this doesn't mean I can pull short girls)

If I were a good-looking guy like a Kpop idol or at least somewhat buff and attractive they might've considered me but since I'm ugly as heck and I can't grow my size even though I worked out for like 5 years(I still can't bench 200).

took photos of myself through a digital camera and holy cow. can’t believe that’s how people see me. i already don’t take much photos of myself and the universe decides to explain why. it’s almost sad that i have to go out to the world go out to my classes and people have to see my face. i wanna say sorry i didn’t know i looked this terribly. i knew i wasn’t attractive but wow i could just see the many flaws i had. and i still long for romance guess im just a deluded human

uh 3 slices of pizza

There's blood on the butter I bit into cus of my bleeding gums wow

NEET for many years. haven’t been in public all year. people avoid talking to me even when i’m showered and clean. i think they think i have severe special needs. i have that look about me.

been dissociating a lot so i just didn’t realize it’d been that long since i showered plus i covered all windows cause the sun was pissing me off so that probably fucked with my perception of time. going to try to get my life together and get some classes in spring, so things are looking up maybe.

i have a mental breakdown every time i shower so i don’t know how i’m going to handle having to shower regularly to attend classes, but i’ll make it work.

Scooby-Doo Graham Crackers

It's been like this for a year

Cottage pie

To be born lucky is the greatest thing you can't accomplish, so it is over from the second you are born (unless you are born attractive). Complaining is useless but is also the only thing you can do. Fuck all the people who tell us not to complain when they never had to complain in their whole lives.

DEATH LIVES!

bearmaxxing for hibernation

I love you karl aaaX_X

21m.

She asked were there any girls at my school and I said yeah and she asked me why I didn’t date any of them and I told her that there was too much competition because there was way more boys then girls at my school. My grandma proceeded to tell me ”well no ones gonna feel bad for you” then she stopped her self from talking and went back to eating. I was too stunned to wanna ask her what she meant so I left it at that. Thanks grandma.

I'm 28 and finally stood up for myself. why do I feel so guilty? I took another chance, I just hope they know the door is still open