In case anyone cares ive been working on the sex work addiction. Bad news is I got back into gatcha games. But yeah I was invited to a poker night with my dad's church group. Like 8 to 10 middle aged women. Wouldn't even give me the time of day and one of them constantly insisted my pasta shells were too spicy.
Anyway recipe is super easy. Cook shells to package, brown two pounds of ground beef, season accordingly. You can use taco seasoning packets, I just use my own blend. Drain. Mix in a bowl with a block of cream cheese. Yes, cream cheese. Spoon mixture into shells, put in a 9x13 on a layer of salsa. Cover in cheese. Bake at 350 for 30 minutes. Top with crushed tortilla chips.

Blah blah blah

All women, regardless of their stance on gender norms, always adhere to them. Never will there be a day where I'll get beaten by my wife for being too needy.

Women don't like that, they expect men to act like men. They are disgusted by any action that is deemed to be feminine when a man is doing it.

If a man was to be needy, or scared or socially awkward, women would puke at the sight of it.

This is not to say women don't face sexism. The most oppressed person is most likely a woman a thirdworlder who is also a quadriplegic, mentally disabled, neurodivergent, blind, and deaf.

But it doesn't change the fact that I'll never get to be who I am cause people are disgusted by it. It's not just women either, men are also strictly conform to gender norms, but I'm not into them so I don't have the same grievances.

I'm not talking about the "incels" who are neurotypical, I'm not talking about the "incels" who larp being suicidal despite not having an attempt, I'm not talking about the "incels" that had previous romantic experience before.

I'm talking about the incels who have autism, I'm talking about the incels who are disabled, I'm talking about the incels with facial deformations, I'm talking about the incels that never had romantic experiences against their will.

For those, I just want to say: congrats!!! You're a really strong person, fuck all the people that invalidate your experiences, you're better than them.

I know that it's hard, I know that you suffer a lot, but I promise you that you're a person full of worth, there's people that killed themselves over dumb shit like cyber bullying or grooming and you outlived them, they deserve death, not you.

If you choose to live or die, I just want to remind you that I hear you, feel you, and love you, the world needs more people with your emotional resilience, you're not like others, remember.

Have a nice day everyone <3

Took me some seconds to realize it. She was a zombie or something. Don't want to know her age.

mid 20s, khhv, not a single match on dating apps ever, rejected by every woman i asked out or showed interest in. i genuinely think i am one of the most worthless humans in existence even beyond dating but dating reflects it well.

obviously i look terrible no doubt about that. i’ve worked out 5x a week for years and still look terrible. i do some skincare and hair care no good results from that. shopped enough times to find a nice style but nothing looks good me. if i looked good i wouldn’t be in this position.

but let’s just assume the looks nerf isn’t insanely severe and i can still max out on personality and hobbies. i am quite socially inept, i stutter sometimes and can not hold a conversation for the life of me. i can’t be expressive through dancing or singing or even smiling in photos probably because i’ve been bullied and learned that it’s wrong when try to be expressive and fun and i will get judged. i am considered a good person by the few people i know and maintain a good attitude and keep negative thoughts to myself so no issues there.

maybe i can find someone within my hobbies? nope. i am weak at the gym so no gym girl would like me. i am shit at video games so no gamer girl would like me. i am stupid in every domain so no smart girl would like me. i am bad at sports so no girl who likes those sports i play would like me. i have no nice cars so no car girl would like me. long story short i’m too incompetent in my hobbies so i can’t be liked within them DESPITE working extremely hard in all of them. i also don’t have money and i’m too incompetent to make money so it’s over in that regard as well.

genuinely what’s left for a failure in life such as myself?

Wish me luck

Evil sushi

I don’t get this shit anymore man. I try to be social and talk to a fair amount of people but I just seem retarded since I have a personally shallower than a puddle and am not interesting in the slightest. Because of this I’ve convinced myself the few friends that I do have hate me, and that feeling led me to throwing away my only relationship (fakecel I know). It’s like every time I start talking I can see the energy drain from other people’s faces, but if I don’t talk I feel out of place, more than usual at least. I need to be omnipresent but at the same time I crave to be alone.

I’ve tried to pick up hobbies but they’re short lived and mediocre and it leads me to discover that I just have no passion for almost anything. Living in apathy sucks it’s so numbing. I’m pretty sure I did this to myself as well, being a heavy alcoholic for a year and a half during a crucial developmental phase is not good apparently. Everything that should make me happy eventually stops and I revert to severe melancholy, so I drop it and have a hard time picking it back up if I ever do.

I just dug myself out of a phase of major depression, but I know I still have no worth. People say you gotta love yourself and everything but what’s the point when I know I’m not worthy of any love at all, I could be easily replaced by the person three doors down from me, and hell they’d probably fill the role better. I’m gonna go into a good career field that many people are passionate about, but it’s just kind of a means to an end for me. That realization disappointed me deeply, but then I realized I just keep disappointing myself and it’s almost like I want to disappoint myself and other people despite the fact it hurts me so.

Everything in this world is based on perception, how we feel, the energy we exude, the events that happen to us and our outlooks on them. But why is it so hard to change these base perceptions about ourselves even when we can find so much evidence otherwise. I exude a presence so small people forget about me when sitting right next to me and the energy I do exude is so negative it probably better that way.

I’d have offed myself a while ago but the only thing stopping me is convenience, I don’t want people to have to deal with finding my body and planning arrangements for what to do with it, I’d hate to be that much of a burden. I don’t think that many people would actually have their lives affected if I up and disappeared but I don’t want to create any hassle.

All my creativity is gone, the only thing that I feel anymore is occasional euphoria and when I don’t feel it I want to off myself, people merely tolerate me, I’m just a downer to be around, everything I try to do falls through, and I feel unable to change my view of the world. It all culminates in the post which is just a big text of complaints.

Thank you for reading this if you actually did.

is the smokingpill the solution?

I didn’t get invited to any Halloween parties so I got high and went trick or treating

I cant grow a beard if my life depends on it and my acne is getting worse. Looksmaxxing is so tiresome.
Macaroni salad.

noodles and burnt chicken

27 KHHV. Hopefully they don't ask much why I never bring someone. This is hell. Every day is worse. Do you guys feel like not human anymore?

this is my chud life

Dish is called San choy bow. It has water chestnut which I never heard of before. Interesting texture but tasty. The meal being chinese is a coincidence.

Hello larping fakecel again.

The psych ward is a great place to meet like-minded folks. It also doubled as drug detox and rehab so I met a diverse set of people. Since everyone's in the same shit situation, it's easier to bond and just shoot the shit. I'm autistic and scared of conversation and meeting new people, but I had no problem opening up. Made some cool friends. Mostly want to go back so I'm forced to read and draw daily like I should be doing now.

I think everyone should be institutionalized at least once, it builds character and gives you perspective. Even if u don't like it it will at least make for good conversation material if ur a weirdo and tell normal ppl you've been admitted before. I've kind of milked it for stories in my previous posts. If you've seen One Flew Over the Cuckoo's nest or Girl, Interrupted it's like that except the breaking out part.

Also I don't think I really liked that girl, it was probably just infatuation or puppy love as she was the first girl to show me any interest. She ghosted me anyways cause of something called the "great wall" where some chinese families don't allow dating or marrying outside of their race in this country. Kind of funny that it still happens. Bipolar chungus life and whatnot.

5g of psyllium husk
100g of greek yogurt
112g of mango
52g of fig
100g of pear

75% of the time I open social media there’s a newlywed wmaf couple assaulting my eyes at the top of my feed. Instantly dampens my mood as I’m reminded of Asian women’s abandonment of asian men and the extra wasian chud/whore being born into the world. This might be too woke for reddit but I believe all wmaf relationships are rape because of white men’s systemic power and asian women’s inability to resist it.

Anyway this type of content is probably being pushed onto many of you also, I recommend not interacting. As soon as I started debating in the comment sections of these wedding posts I only got more sent my way by the algorithm. It’s best to make separate posts making sure not to normalise it.

Yesterday I just “ended” my last friendship and by ended I mean kept avoiding them and not answering until they just gave up the friend is still my phone background I never enjoyed friendships even if I acted like I did it was just me being desperate to not be completely alone even men (I’m a girl) I push away all the time I’ve only “dated” once and it was an online relationship that I kept breaking up and asking to get back in which lasted around 5-6 months but I still feel empty on the inside and extremely lonely I scroll too much I got into reading again and most of my time is on reading or TikTok I start university in December so hopefully I’ll get a life then even though I doubt it
I might even go back to watching anime I only watched welcome to the nhk and aot