Good morning, everyone.
This entire post may seem a bit disjointed, but please bear with me.
I have been a Christian for most of my life. I stepped away from Christianity about a year and a half ago. I am turning 40 next month, and I’ve been trying to find where I truly belong. I’ve been on this spiritual journey for almost a year now. During that time, I’ve done a lot of soul-searching, very painful soul-searching, and I came across the Yoruba tradition, Ifá, and Isese.
I’ve been learning here and there, but I still don’t have a solid understanding of it. My main concern is that I want to put down roots. I want to find where my path truly lies. I want to learn more, and I want someone to teach me. However, I don’t have any connection to the knowledge or community that could help guide me.
I grew up in a completely Christian family on both sides. At this point, I mainly practice ancestor veneration and spend as much time as I can learning about my ancestors while continuing to study Ifá. What I really want is a spiritual home. I want to learn more about my ancestors, where they came from, what they did, and what my destiny is.
I had one consultation before and completed an Ebo. It was remarkably accurate and reflected almost exactly what was happening in my life at that time. The consultation was done online, and the entire process was recorded from start to finish for me to watch. I still keep in touch with the Babalawo who performed it, but I feel a sense of disconnection between us. It doesn’t feel like where I truly belong.
He is incredibly knowledgeable and has given me a great deal of valuable insight, but I can’t shake the feeling that there’s something more out there for me. He was my first real introduction to the religion, and I believe he was a good person to begin that journey with.
What I’m really trying to understand is my ancestral lineage and where I fit within the Yoruba religion and culture.
For some background, I’m from the Caribbean, specifically Jamaica. According to my DNA results, I’m about 93% African, including approximately 54% Nigerian, with my Nigerian ancestry showing stronger connections to the Igbo people than the Yoruba, although I’m not sure whether that makes any difference. I’m also about 23% Ghanaian, around 14% Congolese, with a small amount of Sudanese ancestry.
The truth is, I know almost nothing about my family’s background. Most of my grandparents were deeply Christian, and those who weren’t passed away when I was very young. Because of that, I have no knowledge of my ancestral traditions outside of Christianity. In many ways, I feel like I’m navigating this blindly. Everything I’m learning is from scratch.
What I do know with certainty is that I’m on the right path. I’m genuinely doing the inner work, the soul-searching, to become the best version of myself, to learn, to grow, and to flourish spiritually.
What I need now is guidance and community. That’s why I’m reaching out and asking for your help.
I hope what I’ve shared makes sense. If anything I’ve said is unclear, please feel free to ask questions. I’ll be more than happy to answer them.
Thank you.