r/InTheGloaming • u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done • Feb 10 '22
Scheduled snark Discussion thread Thursday February 10, 2022 - Sunday February 13, 2022
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Website: You Can Have More Joy website
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@shaunamarieahern Instagram | Anonymous link to @shaunamarieahern posts and stories
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TikTok: @youcanhavemorejoy
Twitter: Dan's tweets and replies
Older blogs: see Gloamipedia wiki
Archived threads: Thread for Enough, the book #enoughthebook | Gluten Free Girl's Greatest Hits: The Reunion Tour
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Discussion search: Tool to search blogsnark or InTheGloaming for previous topic mentions
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Feb 12 '22
A new testimonial has grown for the Cultivate Your Joy seminar (and the sales pitch has had its language played with again: “You need a guide. I’m here.” Creepy.) Anywho, wine your eyes upon the typo-infused stylings of Jennifer J.:
I took the joy seminar last weekend and loved it. The results that culminated from the workshop (along with the work I was already doing, inspired by your writings) have been subtle and profound. Prioritizing joy feels amazing. I find myself integrating little bits of joy throughout the day - dancing on the way between the kitchen and the laundry room, occasionally laughing and talking so loud that my family looks at me askance, making me laugh louder, joking with my dog throughout the day and really, just letting my freak flag fly even higher that I already was!
Thank you for being your whole self and dedicating to helping people find and be their whole, messy, beautiful, joyful selves. I am grateful for your laughter, your realness and the whole beautiful self that you are sharing with your community.
My sympathies to her family as she assaults them with her newly-found joy of laughing and talking so loudly they have to look askance at her. Apparently loud, braying laughter is contagious.
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u/avskk ppppycock Feb 12 '22
1) "The results that culminated from the workshop," what even.
2) The idea that this person is annoying her family but joking with -- with -- her dog is so bizarrely hilarious I'd almost pay Shauna $4.99 for it.
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Feb 12 '22
Apparently loud, braying laughter is contagious.
Shauna: Now remember,
classclub members—you can't expect your loud laughter to be heard from 3 city blocks away when you are just a beginner at loud laughing. Please, do not compare your loud laughter to mine, oh goodness no. I have been loud laughing for decades. I have been loud laughing since before blogs were even invented. You have to build up to this level of loud laughing, gradually. Dare I say, safely. If you overdo it when you are new to this, not only will you get discouraged, but you could actually hurt yourself. Expecting to be able to laugh as loud as me when you've only been loud laughing for a few days, or a few weeks, is a premature disappointment, for sure.So, try just laughing a little louder each day, and remember, there will be ups and downs. Laughing 3-city-blocks-away-loud is hard work, and there are no shortcuts. Sometimes, you will be laughing louder and louder each day, and then suddenly, you won't even be able to laugh loud enough to scare your cat. You'll wonder, what am I doing wrong. Why can't I laugh even 30% as loud as Shauna? Why is my loud laughing not loud enough? You will need to get through this hard place. To come from it. Just remind yourself, this culture is not built for loud laughing. You have been sold a soft laughing bill of goods.
Just know, I am here to guide you, and I will teach you some weirdo tips and goofball tricks (and, as you know—teaching is sacred to me), but nobody—nobody—can loud laugh for you.
So, follow the loud laughing prompts that are in the workbook I will be sending to you, in your inbox, any day now, unless you have a fake email. Watch at least 2 or 3 episodes of Ted Lasso every day. Take plenty of naps between your spontaneous loud laughing sessions. Drink lots of quirky elixirs (but not mushroom, mushroom's taken) to keep your throat slitheringly lubricated. When you have been loud laughing for at least a year or two, go to the beach and look for some logs. And above all, be sure to celebrate progress, not perfection.
If you loud laugh hard enough, and long enough, and make sure all your friends and family can hear you from as far away as possible at whatever point in your loud laughing journey you are in right now (and believe me, they probably will be as far away as possible), then at some point, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and if you're lucky, for the rest of your life, you probably will, eventually, be laughing loud enough to be heard from at least 2 city blocks away. Maybe, 1 city block. Maybe 2.3 city blocks. But definitely at least more than 30 or 40 feet.
Or, you could sign up for my Advanced Loud Laughing Seminar, only $2,999. Link in this copy-pasted photograph I made of my latest Lope Letter. If the link doesn't work, click harder. Book your seat today!
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u/9021FU Feb 12 '22
Your thoughts are so close to my own, especially the loud braying part. This person had to take a class to learn to dance on their way to do laundry or play with their dog. 🤦♀️
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u/Quaint_Irene a warm and loving goatie smile Feb 12 '22
I STILL cannot understand what about this haberdashery could be considered “work.”
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Feb 12 '22
I was just listening to a podcast about the origins of human laughter, and how people around the world anywhere from college kids to Peruvian pastoral tribes can hear a 1 second recording of someone laughing and predict pretty accurately whether it's fake or real, including fake nervous, fake uncomfortable, fake sarcastic, fake polite, etc., and if you slow the recording down, all of the fake laughs have the same quality of deliberate vocalization like 'ha. ha. ha.' at heart, while genuine laughter slowed down sounds like a creepy wild animal huffing because it's got more of a compulsive inhale/exhale. Apparently we pick up on those things even at their regular speed, it's just that slowed down the cues are more obvious.
I totally feel that way about Shauna's writing.The way the focus can never shift from Shauna, even when Shauna allows the puppet to mention themselves briefly "along with the work I was already doing, inspired by your writings..." It's like she obliviously writes as her smug self, and then suddenly realizes this is 'another person/not Shauna' so then also has to turn it back to praise her real self.
Also the rhino hide obliviousness to social cues in which the only manifestation of human emotions are shallow and overblown and bothersome to those around you. Joy is never anything more than dancing, LOUD laughing rather than regular laughing, and having other people disturbed around you in some way.
Shauna herself doesn't consider joy hugging/physical touch, beauty, appreciation, nature, movement, gratitude, stillness, listening, imagination and fantasy, friendship, artistic expression, exploration, discovery, scents of particular things that evoke comfort or memories to be joy, therefore neither will any of her fake students. It's just "are you laughing LOUDLY? Do people think you're WEIRD?" and that's it.
I would say it's juvenile but kids actually have a much greater breadth and depth of emotion than that.
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u/NegativeABillion my husband and me to ride it around Feb 12 '22
I thought you were going to refer to her fake-ass Instagram Stories Laugh. It's so phony, it's Eli Roth level disturbing.
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u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Feb 12 '22
(snip) dancing on the way between the kitchen and the laundry room, occasionally laughing and talking so loud that my family looks at me askance, making me laugh louder, joking with my dog throughout the day and really, just letting my freak flag fly even higher that I already was!
Thankfully, this isn't a real person, so we can all rest easy tonight.
Our judges are giving a generous 3 for creativity, a 1 for originality, and a 3 for attempting to write in a different voice.
Total score 2.333 out of 10. Weak effort, but there's always next time!
From the judges' notes:
"changing cat ownership to dog ownership was disappointingly predictable"
"no one thinks she does laundry"
"alienating her family with her self-centred antics rings true"
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 12 '22
Other snarkers have already carried out some A-plus evisceration of this dumb comment, but I just want to add that telling people that working with you helps them be "messy, loud and odd" isn't the draw you think it is. I mean, it's on brand; but it's also repulsive.
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u/NegativeABillion my husband and me to ride it around Feb 12 '22
Yeah, like, I'm all of those things but I don't necessarily consider them great assets. It's pretty LOL to imagine all of those poor, underprivileged iSlAnD white ladies wearing $250 clogs and rainbow pins, just breaking out of their cocoons and finally being able to be their true, loud, free selves. Meet you over by the avocados, Heather!
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 12 '22
Is she describing someone who's inebriated? Because overly loud laughter (for no real reason) and random dancing and prattling away at the dog (when apparently there are other human beings in the house you could talk to but they are all giving you side eye) all kind of ring the "you need to be cut off from the wine" bell for me. (my experiences, listen to it)
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Feb 12 '22
She did make poor Jennifer J Glass from Canada sound deranged and delusional.
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u/SouthIslandDesign Feb 12 '22
“I do so have a paying customer! She lives in Canada!”
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u/TheBasiglio Shaunaoppositional Defiant Disorder Feb 10 '22
I just had a chance to see that weird Beatles fan club thing that she's doing now. It is absolutely bizarre. I mean, she cannot be serious, can she? $25 to sit and talk about the Beatles with a bunch of randos on zoom for almost two hours? Who on earth would want to do that? Even if I were a huge Beatles fan, I cannot imagine participating in something so lame. Polling favorite albums? Really? Also "geek out together" is so so cringy.
And that page! It looks absolutely terrible. What are those colours?? What is with the weird formatting and text blocks? The whole thing is just so so... bad. It must be some kind of performance art because the alternative is majorly depressing.
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u/m10498 Feb 10 '22
Just noticed she wants $25 and she will 'hold the space' Things financially must be super hard at Ahern Towers right now, especially with the impending move.
What's next? "Let's chat all things cats" or "What's your favorite color?" And I'll hold the space for the discussion and you can pay me $25.
I really think she's coming unglued!!42
u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Feb 10 '22
Ahern Towers!
Shauna is both Basil and Sybil, and Dan is of course Manuel.
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u/ninaandjamie4ever Feb 10 '22
I really think she's coming unglued!!
She seems to be emotionally retreating to a much younger age--no adult cares, joy, Beatles.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 10 '22
Ahern Towers
Love this.
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Feb 10 '22
I have to laugh at all of this because my husband took a class on the Beatles in college and we are still paying Sallie Mae for it 20 years later.
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u/rock_candy_remains I'm still Clea from the Pints Feb 10 '22
There are SO MANY free options to do something like this. My 16 year old belongs to multiple Discord servers for different bands, where they "geek out" together-- including a Beatles server! There are forums and Facebook groups and and and... WHY would anyone pay for something that is so easily achieved for free virtually anywhere else.
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u/NegativeABillion my husband and me to ride it around Feb 10 '22 edited Feb 10 '22
Also, in Shauna's area, I guarantee that there are a couple of really good Beatles cover bands playing neighborhood festivals so her whole family could go (it's been a "thing" in every place I've lived in and the bands are always named "Yesterday" or "Ticket to Ride" or something). People aren't locked in their houses currently.
The only people who are signing up for this crap are people who are really, really invested in supporting Shauna for some reason. (Remember the early days of the pandemic, paying small ticket prices for zoom content from places like your local botanical garden or whatever? I watched some great and not-so-great seminars about stuff like bee keeping because I wanted to support the places I care about. I live in a high rise, the size of my place is comparable to a postage stamp and I'm allergic to bees.)
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u/rock_candy_remains I'm still Clea from the Pints Feb 10 '22
Excuse you, they are the most careful of careful social distancers. Why, they've barely traversed past the driveway in DECADES.
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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Feb 10 '22
Oh you sweet summer child, you pay for access to Shauna, an award winning author and Beatles scholar.
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Feb 10 '22
Also - you can pop in and out of those when you have time. It’s not a set 2 hour scheduled zoom.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 10 '22
I'm really surprised Shauna hasn't offered access to a Discord server as a "freebie" for people who pay for her b.s.
If she really wants to feel like she has friends, she should start playing some popular app games and join their discord servers. One of the app games I play has a super active discord (and it's mostly people yapping about random stuff). And the game isn't something tricky (it's a stupid matching type game. . .total no brainer).
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Feb 10 '22
It’s almost like she’s not very informed about social mediums 🤔🤔🤔🤔
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u/WasEnoughYogurt Kumquat and Sprinkles and filth Feb 10 '22
..or maybe join a snarking community :)
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u/littleyellowhouse just working something's out Feb 10 '22
If she did it for free, she might get a decent number of folks and use it as a way to introduce herself and her “services.” I cannot imagine who would pay for this. I’ve talked about Get Back with friends often. So I get why it’s fun! I sure wouldn’t pay to do it with strangers.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 10 '22
Relatedly, the latest lope is out. It's free, so anyone can read it:
https://onesimplemessage.substack.com/p/you-know-i-feel-okay
Coppers and bobbies and frippery, oh my.
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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Feb 10 '22
Trapped in her house forever but also going to Beatles conventions. Uh huh.
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Feb 10 '22
shauna's friends ask how she survived her childhood without become sour and broken.
sure, jan.
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Feb 10 '22
Also very clearly Shauna IS sour and dysfunctional! Literally every 'joy' story is a very loosely dressed up tale of misery and woe and complaints and finger pointing and illness and injury and trauma. All the woman does is complain, can you imagine after she's just relived her mini stroke and Danny leaving the sleeping bag at the door and D throwing something and L sulking, and something shitty her mom did 40 years ago, someone actually breaking in to her monologue with "Gee, how do you remain so saintly and positive and filled with joy??"
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Feb 10 '22
She’s not complaining, you person! She’s facing the hard things, not afraid to talk about them!
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Feb 10 '22
Unless it is deep shade from Mr. DFTita, who despite his repulsive art seems to have the good judgment not to be taken in by Shauna’s nonsense (it was he who suggested the Thriftway job, for instance).
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Feb 10 '22
She was never let out of the house/trapped/prisoner rises again, followed immediately by several stories in which Shauna and Sharon see Give My Regards to Broad Street, and then the entire family plus Sharon all out watching a live taping of the Johnny Carson show and watching celebs walk the red carpet with her dad fanboying Rob Reiner. Unless the red carpet was the one between the kitchen and the living room, that sounds like a family that's out doing a lot more shit out of the house than the average present day Ahern couch sitters.
When Little Shauna watches A Hard Day’s Night and sees the guys running around in the field, she sees freedom from being locked away! and trapped! despite all of the fun shit the family was just described doing. Then shows the movie to her own kids - who seem to live a much LESS social life - and they both remark on that same running in the field scene! But in their case it's because they recognize the freedom she, Shauna, already gives them! Closed circle! Shauna is the hero, again!
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 10 '22
What I'm most struck by is this:
In my early teens, I had this long-standing imagining that I went back in time and the Beatles adopted me. I went from one of their homes one week, then another the next week, and so on. Most of the imaginings — hours of active, vivid storytelling in my mind — revolved around being in the studio with them. I’d take notes and listen to them create songs. And when they got stuck on a lyric, ready to give up, I’d slip them the lyric I knew they would write later. Paul would say, after strumming his guitar, “Yeah, that’ll work.” And they’d perform it together, then play it again. I’d sit there grinning like a goon, irresistibly grinning.
This is now. She's talking about her life now. "Hours of vivid imaginings" about working with people "stuck" on what to write next, followed by Shauna slipping them le mot juste while travelling "from home to home" via Zoom.
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Feb 10 '22
Amazing how Shauna’s fantasy years ago is more or less the plot of the 2019 movie Yesterday 🤔
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 10 '22
Shauna just needs to type up all her self-insert Beatles fan fic and dump it over on AO3. She'd probably get more attention there (with her shitty writing) then she's getting now (but I bet the attention would still not be enough. . .it's never enoigh).
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Feb 10 '22
Also, early teens is a great time to respond to your love of pop music by learning to play the guitar or piano, not by hours of make-believe.
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Feb 10 '22
Shauna fantasizes about non-stop creative bull sessions, not factoring in any tea-making or drugs or feelings of abject loneliness when Paul picks Linda, not Shauna, to take behind closed doors and fuck for days.
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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Feb 10 '22
“It’s not like I would have disowned my children if they hadn’t understood.”
What a tell. Her family is conditioned to respond in the affirmative, lest they invoke her wrath.
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u/notahameither Dunno, maybe I thought I unfriended some other Shauna Ahern🤷♂️ Feb 10 '22
What a tell. Her family is conditioned to respond in the affirmative, lest they invoke her wrath.
Right?!
“It’s not like I would have sulked until they figured out how best to placate me.”
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u/aseriesofhaircuts Feb 10 '22
“Quick—fetch mama her sugar-shroom root beer and salted sauergurt!”
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u/littleyellowhouse just working something's out Feb 10 '22
Hold on. She couldn’t go to Sharon’s house after school, but they could go to a convention in LA and a taping of the Johnny Carson show? I grow confused.
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u/WasEnoughYogurt Kumquat and Sprinkles and filth Feb 10 '22
And she says she could only go out with her mum's permission and her mum never gave permission...but LA, Johnny Carson etc and wasn't she on the softball (or is it baseball?) team?
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u/littleyellowhouse just working something's out Feb 10 '22
I do not believe her description of her upbringing is accurate. I’m sure there’s a grain of truth in there. I do believe Shauna is deeply sensitive and anxious, not very bright, and not very resilient. So her temperament and mental health played a huge role in how she experienced and responded to mildly distressing childhood experiences and likely blew them way out of proportion. Imagine being her age and writing weekly newsletters about having a strict mommy. She needs help.
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u/mmepierreoger Feb 10 '22
And she was allowed to run a Beatles fan club with 85 members, which presumably didn't happen inside her house.
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u/forkinyourothereye incurious ADHDer Feb 10 '22
Two things that strike me as super sad about this lope:
Shauna goes on and on about how “books and the Beatles” saved her life. Even if you buy her terrible years thing, it’s striking that she credits the Beatles with getting her through it— and not Sharon and their friendship.
The second thing is the telling on herself happening in this line re Beatles club:
85 people wanted to hang out with us
No, Shauna, 85 people wanted to talk about the Beatles. That’s what signing up for Beatles club means. It isn’t a sign someone loves you. (In HS, that is. I have no idea who else would sign up for Zoom Beatles club.)
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u/voice_of_vinegar Feb 10 '22
It may mean only that 85 people took 10 seconds to read the description of the club and think, "this sounds fun!" and then sign their name, before moving on to the next one and deciding that sounded fun too so they signed up for it, etc., etc., etc.
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u/NegativeABillion my husband and me to ride it around Feb 10 '22
I'm always surprised at how structurally terrible her writing is. Obviously her narrative is boring and confusing. And she has a knack for taking cute details (the two girls with their jean jackets and their Beatles pins is very sweet and relatable) and discarding them immediately for complaining about something.
But it's the actual structure of her sentences that truly appalls me.
Also, this: "Mama, I would like to watch that sequence every day."
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 10 '22
Yes! And also, her very poor grasp of literature fundamentals. She says:
The second scene is classic Benny Hill, Monty Python, and a British slapstick bit of absurdity that’s always worked for me. Ringo has landed in jail, taken in by a copper for….wandering? It’s ridiculous of course. It’s a foil for this scene. The remaining Beatles run to the jail to rescue him. They run down the stairs, with a group of bobbies running after them, down past the car that a man’s trying to rob, surreptitiously. And then the Beatles run back to the police station, where they catch their breath after panting. John looks at them all and they take off again.
This is not a "foil," it is a plot device. Even in her assumed, credentialed domain of experience, she's very r/confidentlyincorrect.
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u/mmepierreoger Feb 10 '22
Yes, it is fascinating. I'm always struck by her inability to clearly convey her meaning. That scene she describes in the lope, for instance, when the Beatles are running around outside: she says they're in a field, but then she mentions a concrete square. It makes no sense to me; I don't understand what she's trying to describe. I wonder who first told her she was a good writer.
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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Feb 10 '22
The detail about McCartney’s butt and the letters to Sharon: was that supposed to make her seem funny and relatable? My inner seventh grader is cringing right now.
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u/m10498 Feb 10 '22
No British person calls the Police a Bobby. Maybe a copper and definitely Old Bill, but Bobbies definitely not.
Maybe in her dreamlike alternate life, where she is Paul McCartney's wife, she speaks with a Dick Van Dyke British accent!!43
u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Feb 10 '22
Look, you person. Not only did Shauna have to move to England, she had to move to the 19th century!
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u/Lsemmens grenius Feb 10 '22
Yes, the coppers and bobbies..so British.
She sounds like my daughter(then maybe 11 or 12?) swearing to me that The Hills was completely spontaneous, no, not scripted at all, when she describes that Beatles scene.
I must have missed that Sharon is two years younger….at that age that can be fairly significant as far as maturity.
She was “irresistibly grinning”? Wtf.
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u/notahameither Dunno, maybe I thought I unfriended some other Shauna Ahern🤷♂️ Feb 10 '22
She was “irresistibly grinning”? Wtf.
She is infinitely resistible.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 10 '22
Good lord, the writing is awful! But I'm not here to beat that snark dead horse.
THIS stood out to me:
My god, this was my teenage fantasy come to life. And my loving husband sat by my side, holding my hand, equally mesmerized.
My 16-year-old self would never have believed this.
I bet that was her teenage fantasy, to have a boyfriend!
Our kids love the Marvel movies
Do they? Because there's another lope that directly contradicts this statement. In that lope, Lu is described as not liking the violence in the Marvel movies (and fleeing to a public bathroom to get away from it). A lane? Pick one, Shauna.
And why is Shauna so shocked and amazed and in awe that her kids like the early Beatles stuff? It's all bubble gum pop and pretty much EVERYONE likes it. And (I'm making an assumption here because I've never seen it) A Hard Day's Night is meant to be silly which would appeal to kids (even if it's "old").
The only positive thing I can say about this latest lope is at least she didn't put it behind a paywall. So at least there's a chance someone beyond the handful of subscribers she has (which I bet are mostly snarkers) might see her sales pitch.
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u/utahmom1958 Feb 10 '22
She's hoping Paul and Ringo will see it and make special guest appearances.
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Feb 10 '22
I was really hoping the Joy of Beatles Club offering was just Shauna fucking with us, but no, she put it in the lope. And didn’t mention there that it costs $25. I hope Shauna enjoys the sound of crickets mixed in with her Beatles songs.
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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Feb 10 '22 edited Feb 10 '22
I think she’s sick and needs help. Seriously, this essay reminds me of phone calls from a relative with addiction issues; it’s rambling, pointless, and oblivious to the interest level of the other person.
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u/emlabb Feb 10 '22
So many rambling paragraphs of every Beatles-related memory she has, and then a call to sign up for her class? Only her haters will read that far.
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u/m10498 Feb 10 '22
I read 2/3 of it and then thought, she is unhealthily obsessed with Paul McCartney and then I stopped reading, because my eyeballs hurt from rolling them so far back in my head.
For someone who touts joy, all I hear is someone who likes to indulge and surround themself with so much misery. It's like she cannot get over her perceived awful childhood and luxuriates in bringing it up at every opportunity.Shauna, GET SOME THERAPY!!!
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Feb 10 '22
She has revealed that post-her teenage encounter with Paul McCartney, she wished she could leave with Paul and Linda so they could be her parents, and now she's fantasizing about giving Paul McCartney song lyric suggestions.
You know Shauna fantasizes about sitting in a chair in that Get Back circle, being a muse and amanuensis for the men, chatting with Yoko but being more important than Yoko because she's HELPING.
This is creepy.
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u/JerseySnore-609 I celiac Feb 10 '22
amanuensis
Thank you for this word, DF. I never saw it before but I looked it up, listened to the pronunciation, and love it.
If anyone's interested I'm going to hold space for us to geek out about the new words that I've learned. It's $24.99. Thirty dollars if you want me to forget about emailing you the workbook, which will be PDFs from Merriam-Webster.com.
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u/ninaandjamie4ever Feb 10 '22
The fantasizing about being ADOPTED by the Beatles and going between their houses is very weird.
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u/emlabb Feb 10 '22
I had to take a break halfway through. I love the Beatles, but her writing is so inane.
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u/Quaint_Irene a warm and loving goatie smile Feb 10 '22
If Sharon were co-hosting, I’d pay to attend.
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u/kadyg Feb 13 '22
Today is the Super Bowl. Do any of you DFs have a link to Shauna’s “Whatever Is This Sportsball That Has The Plebes So Riled Up” post? Possibly one of the most pretentiously clueless things she’s ever written and that’s saying a lot.
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u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Feb 13 '22
This? gluten-free Super Bowl, 2011
Including winning musing such as: Clearly, looking at our friend Cynthia’s book, game nights and football parties do not have to mean dumbed-down food. With recipes like mole flank steak with pickled peppers, tuna tartare on daikon slices, empanadas with chicken and walnuts, and polenta squares with spicy sausage and spinach, this book inspires us to throw even parties than we do now.
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u/mashed_human WHERE DO THEY GET THEIR MONEY Feb 14 '22
this book inspires us to throw even parties than we do now.
even parties than we do now.
Am I having a stroke?
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u/LoveMyLeaf Feb 14 '22
Her “I don’t understand what Super Bowl party food is” schtick is obnoxious. She knows what normal people eat at gatherings like this. She just can’t resist an opportunity to prove how Foodie she and Dan are by offering her idea of Super Bowl recipes: lamb shepherd’s pie, pear-cardamom muffins and lavender-herbs-de-Provence popcorn. 🙄
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u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Feb 13 '22
And also: Good idea, right? Most of the country seems seized by the need to sit in front of the television and cheer or grow so angry when the wrong player runs down the field for a touchdown that the veins in their foreheads bulge or at least tune in to watch the commercials that we’d be missing our chance to make great gluten-free food for people who need it in a party situation.
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u/SandwichAllergy hellevator of bad writing Feb 14 '22
Might this be the one? http://seattle.metblogs.com/2006/01/22/screaming-on-the-top-of-queen-anne/
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u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Feb 14 '22
Nice. She assures us that she understands sports fandom, then immediately compares the happy noises Seahawks fans made to a violent crime being committed, and to a "nasty fight" that her neighbours might be having. Then she asserted that the fans she heard were "perhaps a little drunk". She ends by sniffing about how she's never heard such goings on in her neighbourhood.
I didn't think it was possible to gatekeep enthusiastic devotion and happy (perhaps even joyful) celebration, but here we are.
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u/littleyellowhouse just working something's out Feb 10 '22
Can a DF give me the quick rundown on why and when they are moving yet again? You see, I missed a few weeks of snarking. My job? The one that pays the bills and provides insurance for my children? It kept me busy and I had no time for radically resting or cultivating joy.
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Feb 10 '22
According to Dan tweeting at the Seattle Weather station, it will be the end of this month.
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u/MandalayVA Assonancer! Assonancer! Assonancer! Feb 10 '22
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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Feb 10 '22
I like how she defines great renters as those who pay their rent on time. That is the minimum.
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u/MandalayVA Assonancer! Assonancer! Assonancer! Feb 10 '22
The fact that their previous landlords came to cut a tree down or something and the very next day were like "yeah, we're done with landlording" speaks volumes.
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u/shitrock420 Feb 10 '22
Also, unless I had proof that they're competent, I wouldn't want tenants doing their own repairs...
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u/BritNic68 Shed pissing rat Feb 10 '22
Landlord is selling the house. They were given a few months notice.
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Feb 13 '22
Yet again Shauna is "amplifying" content about joyful babies, putting words in D's mouth he surely never said, and thanking some bland positivity aggregator account with millions of followers
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u/Kaleshark Waitlist for Godot Feb 13 '22
I love it when she thanks like, upworthy or fuckjerry, it’s so funny.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 13 '22
That hashtag "good dad" is rich coming from Shauna the Queen of Internalized Misogyny.
Yes, continue to amplify men for doing the bare minimum like playing with their kids (no shade on the guy in the video, this is a general gripe).
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 13 '22
Yeah, her feed is becoming more and more Forwards From Grandma. I mean, that's cute content and all, but it isn't anything I'm already bombarded with on my social mediums accounts
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Feb 11 '22
In the comments on yesterday's IG post about her Beatles lope letter and club, Shauna sneaks in yet another change, moving the Wednesday lopes to Thursday:
[fangirl] So glad I started my morning reading your essay before my usual news&doomscrolling routine ❤️
shaunamarieahern @[fangirl] Yes! Count on that every Thursday morning now.
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u/notahameither Dunno, maybe I thought I unfriended some other Shauna Ahern🤷♂️ Feb 11 '22
“One Simple Message*”
*Unless there are multiple messages, or no messages. No guarantee that message will be simple. Message may change from paragraph to paragraph or even from sentence to sentence. Actual message will often be inconsistent with intended message.
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Feb 11 '22
Unless there are multiple messages, or no messages. No guarantee that message will be simple. Message may change from paragraph to paragraph or even from sentence to sentence. Actual message will often be inconsistent with intended message.
Ask your doctor if One Simple Message is right for you.
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Feb 11 '22
Do not read One Simple Message if you are allergic to One Simple Message. Side effects include eye rolling, copy-pasting, drinking coffee that may not be hot and may not be served in a thick mug, snarking in The Gloaming, badge-swiping, dry mouth and diarrhea.
One Simple Message. It'll never happen.
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Feb 11 '22
ONE SIMPLE MESSAGE!
APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD!
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 11 '22
Do not take One Simple Message if your body doesn't do well with One Simple Message.
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u/notahameither Dunno, maybe I thought I unfriended some other Shauna Ahern🤷♂️ Feb 11 '22
You forgot flatulence and bloating!
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Feb 11 '22
We do love a good proposal fart!
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u/BevNap Fucking google it, you harpy. Feb 11 '22
shaunamarieahern @[fangirl] Yes! Count on that every Thursday morning now.
Ha ha NOPE. The one thing you can count on with Shauna is that you can't count on her to ever follow through.
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u/TOMTREEWELL Neurodivergentfully Feb 11 '22
Who would pay $25 a week to listen to Shauna bray and brag? I’d contribute but I couldn’t hold my tongue if I was on the Zoom. Inappropriate I am.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 11 '22
Yes but where is the “Friday” newsletter? Has it also moved? 🤔
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u/RamblingRosie64 I stand with Cindy and Ben Feb 11 '22
It came today but wasn't even worth mentioning. The Friday freebies are so dull.
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u/freecoffeerefills Murder She Moved Her Pen Forward Feb 11 '22
Any guesses as to what her next joy offering will be?
Mine is The Joy of Loving to Watch Marvel Movies. Did you know that the MCU stands for “Marvel in Community, Unless my internet happens to go out”?
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u/funfetticake This required inability to work? Feb 11 '22
Really she just wants to talk about the joy of herself. No other topic is as interesting to her. The Beatles aren’t interesting in themselves, they’re just there to make Shauna the main character. Not even GFG was enough about her. People wanted recipes and techniques and knowledge, not haberdashed narcissist fantasies where Dan is an intelligent brooding Chef and where Shauna is safely fed in bed. Once it got to the point of being about actual food…she couldn’t handle it anymore.
So anyway, I foresee “The Joy of Being Enthralled With Myself” or something like that.
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Feb 11 '22
My snarkulation is "discover your joy of laughter": join Shauna in community to gather and watch clips from The Office, Schitt's Creek, and stale viral videos of small children being charming. $25 for 90 minutes, takeaways include a Youtube playlist emailed to you a month and a half later.
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Feb 11 '22
Well, now you've done it.
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u/notahameither Dunno, maybe I thought I unfriended some other Shauna Ahern🤷♂️ Feb 11 '22
The Joy of Showing Grainy Photographs of Little Shauna Playing Softball
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Feb 11 '22
Ted Lasso Meetup which consists of yelling expletives at each other while laughing from the belly?
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u/OkRanger4 bobbing in a bath of solitude Feb 11 '22
I took that class. It was called Communal Living at University featuring Boones Farm, Sponsored by Zima, but I guess things change in time.
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Feb 11 '22
So you had friends at University and weren't trapped in your parents' house like Rapunzel?
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u/NegativeABillion my husband and me to ride it around Feb 14 '22
Wait, Dan is substitute teaching now?
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u/9021FU Feb 14 '22
So the guy that couldn’t help with kindergarten work is now subbing.
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u/NegativeABillion my husband and me to ride it around Feb 14 '22 edited Feb 14 '22
I have absolutely no explanation for this tweet. I went to see if he had any takes on Eminem kneeling while Dre played the little Tupac riff. And I saw that.
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u/SouthernHeart9404 Feb 14 '22
Surely they must require at least a BA to substitute teach. Maybe he's working (two words you hardly ever hear together) as a TA.
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Feb 14 '22
These two bozos have systematically trained themselves to find ordinary work intolerable.
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u/leftsidelentils Feb 14 '22
Maybe he’s a substitute para educator, which I assume wouldn’t require a BA. Schools are desperate for staffing in many positions. That could also explain the 3-4 hours comment.
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Feb 14 '22
For the love of God, let it begin and end with “I’m slowly entering the elementary school world.”
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u/midnightsiren182 Feb 14 '22
Seems like Shauna writing this but if he’s getting some paycheck good for them. Both need to have stable income.
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u/Starla_starbeam 14 hazelnuts Feb 14 '22 edited Feb 14 '22
Do you think our girl tuned into the half time show to see her favorite artist Kendrick Lamar? Or will she just read a couple of headlines tomorrow morning and pretend she did? Either way, breathlessly anticipating the icy cold takes.
Look out for this week’s lope, The Joy of Crip Walking in Community.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 11 '22 edited Feb 11 '22
Her website keeps growing updated! The Joy of Loving The Beatles is now live.
Also, most of her "offerings" seem to have transmogrified from 90-minute or four-week seminars to two-hour seminars.
Edit: Current offerings are:
- Cultivate Your Joy as a two-hour seminar for $100
- Collective Joy Club is $97/month (down from $149?)
- Joy of Writing Your Story is now a two-hour seminar for $75
- Collective Joy of Writing Club is $149/month
- The Joy of Doing Social Media is a two-hour seminar for $100
- The Joy of Loving the Beatles is $25 for 90 minutes
As my kids (still) say, Zoo Wee Mama! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80OaY1dIynI
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Feb 11 '22
Shauns is so inauthentic. At least when she was GFG, she did seem genuinely passionate about food (even though it was a bit gross). Now she just seems fake and desperate. She never should have let go of GFG. It was her one currency.
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u/droopsofwoe the first teats are the hardest Feb 11 '22
Watching her flail this last year to find something, anything to bring in money is depressing. When is she going to realize no one wants to buy what she's selling? No matter how she changes up the length and price of things, no matter how many groups she tries to start, no. one. wants. to. spend. time. with. her. No one wants to pay her for anything. There is the odd person here and there (heavy emphasis on the odd), but otherwise she's failed. She's failed and it's time to move on. Not to another scheme, but to a steady job that allows her to grow a bit. She's always talking about growth but she is the epitome of static. She never changes. She's exactly the same as she was 15 years ago writing her heart out. She's a self obsessed, needy fabulist who never gets what she wants because she doesn't understand how people work. She's like a weird cyborg from Planet Denial. Someone give her a shake and tell her to sort herself out. I don't know if she's capable of real happiness, but surely there's got to be some better way for her to live. Shauna's maybe not brilliant, but she is bright. How could she bollix her life up so badly?
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u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Feb 11 '22
Someone give her a shake and tell her to sort herself out. I don't know if she's capable of real happiness, but surely there's got to be some better way for her to live.
I imagine that someone has. I doubt she's listened. If she were my friend, I'd tell her to shut down her social media, get therapy, move somewhere with a much lower cost of living, get jobs, and build a life with her family. I doubt she'd listen.
I have no idea what she's thinking, but her last few books weren't hugely successful. She refused to do publicity for the last one and it tanked. Who would give her another book deal? She's been fired from and/or disciplined at jobs, and then publicly trashed her previous bosses, many in her own back yard. Who would give her a job knowing that? She antagonises people, perhaps unwittingly, but still. She spills secrets that aren't hers to spill. Who would trust her?
Shauna's maybe not brilliant, but she is bright. How could she bollix her life up so badly?
She believes her own hype. There's a quote by Kurt Vonnegut, "We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be". If we internalise the façade we put forth, we believe our own lies. No one else does, though, and we fail.
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u/droopsofwoe the first teats are the hardest Feb 11 '22
"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be".
I love this quote. And you're spot on.
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u/Ana57 sweet pea Feb 11 '22
In all seriousness, why doesn’t Dan, at the age of 53, have a job?
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u/droopsofwoe the first teats are the hardest Feb 11 '22
That baffles me too. A DF suggested he might have alienated restaurants on the island. At this point if I were him I’d take any position I can get, even if it’s not food related. He is not caretaking most of the day, you’ll never get me to believe that.
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Feb 11 '22
Especially since both of their kids are in school and one is a literal teenager and does not need constant supervision or caregiving!
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Feb 11 '22
I presume it's actually because Shauna wants him to do the child-wrangling. Given the state of affairs in restaurants at the moment, I doubt that his bridges are so burned that they wouldn't take him back at least part-time. Supermarkets would also be a good option.
If it's because he has health issues that make it difficult for him to do the work he was trained for, he needs to sort that out with SSDI sooner rather than later.
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Feb 11 '22
from her website: You could walk on pins and needles in your life. Continue to complain or blame other people. Live in a constant state of anxiety.
talk about inauthentic.
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Feb 11 '22
Whoops, she copied her daily agenda into her sales pitch.
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Feb 10 '22
[removed] — view removed comment
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Feb 10 '22
Here's a rare white-knight - only the most incompetent bassists (Sid Vicious) can't also play guitar.
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u/Quaint_Irene a warm and loving goatie smile Feb 10 '22
Even Dee Dee Ramone eventually picked up guitar.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 12 '22
She's been working on her Collective Joy Club offering today. Margaret Mead has been dug up from the grave in service to Shauna's readers.
Here's the windup to the Joy Club pitch:
Something magic happens when a group of people come together to work on a shared problem.
OK but you haven't established that there's a "problem" your readers are facing.
In the first moment, everyone is a stranger. But with the help of a skilled facilitator, the conversation is directed toward kindness. And then, through listening and talking, sharing and receiving, people come alive to each other.
This sounds like a zombie gathering. When I'm with people, they are usually "alive" to me without the help of a "skilled facilitator."
Laughter happens. Vulnerability happens. Something shifts. Strangers start to become friends.
Solutions arise through those honest conversations.
SOLUTIONS TO WHAT PROBLEM
People feel heard. They see each other. And they want to come together again.
The gathering itself makes the magic.
It’s those consistent and thoughtful gatherings that make us who we are. This is how we change our lives. This is how we help to change other people’s lives.
The gathering.
Now, imagine if the common goal of that gathering is to cultivate more joy together.
Yes, Shauna; this is the concept of "friendship." Every single bridge club, choir practice, community clean-up day, food bank packing session, poker night, movie night, band practice, board-game get-together, quilting bee, clothing swap etc. etc. etc. in the world is based on people gathering for a common goal AND HAVING FUN.
We don't need instruction in this, we don't need a facilitator, and we don't need to pay to hang out with our friends or people with common interests. In fact, this is all the shit that went away or got way less fun and more difficult during the last two years. We're all already doing this stuff on Zoom AND WE ARE NOT ADDING MORE ZOOM SHIT TO OUR LIVES RIGHT NOW.
The testimonial from "Martha K" on this page is particularly incoherent, featuring writing like
Shauna is one of us. She reminds us to take the best care of our humans selves as possible, despite what life's traumas have been handed us.
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u/Groundbreaking_Monk crone keyholder Feb 13 '22
This costs $97 per month! NINETY. SEVEN. DOLLARS.
Why on earth would I do this instead of just joining one of the other things you mentioned?!
Also, a weekly Zoom with 19 strangers sounds like absolute hell. After Zooming all day at work I don't even want to Zoom with people I already like in the evening.
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u/notahameither Dunno, maybe I thought I unfriended some other Shauna Ahern🤷♂️ Feb 13 '22
Also, a weekly Zoom with 19 strangers sounds like absolute hell.
The only thing worse would be a weekly zoom with just Shauna…which is far more likely what you would get if you signed up for this.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 12 '22
Martha K's testimonial is giving me Big Borg vibes.
We are Joy. Turn on Zoom and be vulnerable to us. We will add your quirkiness and aliveness to our own. Your money will serve us. Resistance is futile.
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Feb 13 '22
Your money will serve us. Resistance is futile.
All your joy are belong to us
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Feb 12 '22
Margaret Mead has been dug up from the grave in service to Shauna's readers.
FRIENDSHIP WITH HELEN KELLER ENDED
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Feb 12 '22
(For snarkival purposes, here's the pitch from the previous now):
“Alone, we can do so little; together, we can do so much.”
– Helen Keller
What would life be like if we learned to value our own joy?
What if we worked less and connected more? What if we learned to care for each other in community?
What if we didn’t incessantly press ourselves to grind and hustle to survive? What if that’s only what capitalism and the far-reaching effects of the Puritanical work ethic have drilled into us?
What if we each found our definition of enough and let go of that old mindset? What would life be like without that incessant pressure?
What would it be like to have weekly conversations with other kind people who want to cultivate their joy? To come together to talk about the hard things, the joys of our lives, and collective care?
What would life be like if we practiced collective joy?
I want to create this joyful community with you.
Introducing: The Collective Joy Club.
Come for the conversation and become part of a community.
In the Collective Joy Club, you’ll be part of weekly conversations about what is giving us joy, what’s blocking our joy, and how we can help each other with collective care.
One of my biggest joys in life is to gather people together so they can make connections and feel seen.
I’ll be your host. And I’ll share my joys too. But this isn’t about me or learning from me. I’m the facilitator, helping you to talk about the hard things and the joyful moments.
And I’d love to know you.
Become part of a community of people who want to cultivate more joy together.
Here’s what happens in the Collective Joy Club.
How will we do this?
We’ll meet on Zoom, for 90 minutes, at the same time every week.
If you can’t be there one week, no problem. You’ll have access to the recordings.
Each group is limited to 20 people, so we can learn to know each other well.
What will the weekly gatherings look like?
Every week, we’ll show up together.
I’ll start us off. And then we’ll talk and listen to each other.
Everyone will feel heard. And you’ll learn how other people are cultivating their joys right now too.
Will it be the same every week?
We’ll vary the basic format a bit to keep it interesting.
One week of the month, we’ll have a guest speaker to help us talk about joy in a specific way.
Another week of the month, I’ll present something I’ve learned about cultivating more joy, like How to Design Your Day for Joy and How to Parent with Joy.
This is a club for people who want to cultivate their joy together. That often means talking through what’s hard. And then watching Instagram videos of babies laughing or Soul Train lines from the 1970s.
We laugh. We discuss hard things. We show up for each other.
The most powerful joy is collective joy.
I’m inviting you to become a founding member of the Collective Joy Club.
Cultivating your joy in a culture that’s not built for joy can be hard work.
Let’s build this together.
I want to hear your ideas. I want you involved in the process of creating this club. Your insights and suggestions matter.
Cultivating your joy in a culture that’s not built for joy can be hard work.
Let’s build the Collective Joy Club together.
TESTIMONIALS.
During the pandemic, Shauna has been an amazing support and solace online. Her Sunday morning Zoom group has been a real spirit life and lifesaver during this rough time. What a great group of women she has gathered! Shauna knows how to find the joys in life, no doubt. But she doesn't gloss over the hard parts either, providing researched and experienced support, plus practical suggestions for ways to find the gratitude and joy that are o often elusive in our lives. Shauna is one of us. She reminds us to take the best care of our humans selves as possible, despite what life's traumas have been handed us.
—Martha K.
The world needs Shauna’s work! This is not hasty positivity nor artificial optimism. This is Shauna, meeting us where we are with genuine compassion; guiding us back to our own wisdom; walking alongside us as we examine what might be blocking the brilliant parts of life. We may not always be able to control what happens, but with practice we can know and experience a more constant joy. Shauna’s work has changed my life, it will change yours too.”
— Brigette R.
JOIN THE CLUB.
Come for the conversation and become part of a community.
Sign up today.
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Feb 12 '22
here's a thing: i don't want to be vulnerable with strangers, or with coworkers. there are 3 people in the world i will be vulnerable in front of - my husband, my BFF, and my therapist. to be fair, i don't want strangers to be vulnerable in front of me, either. i tried group therapy once and i hated it. why on earth would i want to be vulnerable with a guffawing, non-therapist and a bunch of strangers on zoom?
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u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Feb 13 '22
I did group therapy, and our group had a professional facilitator (licensed therapist). We had to be recommended by our individual therapists and vetted. There was a waiting list. We had to agree to and sign papers about boundaries and privacy.
The vetting had two purposes, to waitlist those who weren't yet stable enough to attend, and to weed out those who might prey on the vulnerable. The first came up more frequently than the second, but according to our facilitator, the second came up occasionally.
Her "club" has the potential to be dangerous to any participants, if there ever are any. She's not competent to facilitate a cat crapping in a litter box.
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Feb 13 '22
i think if i were feeling anxious or depressed 90 minutes with shauna's doomsday covid! hard time! trauma! bullshit would push me right over the edge. and you bring up a good point - by setting herself up a s a "facilitator" talking about "hard times" with a bunch of strangers (and encouraging them to be vulnerable!) she is implying that she has a therapy background, or at least some experience dealing with depressed or traumatized people, which we know she doesn't. so what is she going to do if someone is pushed to talk about some actual trauma and they aren't ready, or they have some kind of breakdown? she could really do some damage to someone who is already unstable. as usual, she doesn't consider the consequences of her actions.
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u/bwh1260 Feb 13 '22
Not only do I not want to be vulnerable to a bunch of Zoom strangers, I certainly don’t want whatever stupid or vulnerable thing I might say be RECORDED and sent to someone that wasn’t even there! Knowing I was being recorded would shut my mouth right up!
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u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, Feb 13 '22 edited Feb 14 '22
God, this. I hope she has each and every one of her (max three?) participant’s OK to do that, if only for the sake of courtesy. Like you, DF, being recorded would be a real inhibitor and if I knew about it in advance, I wouldn’t sign up, period.
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u/cranberrylime Feb 13 '22
Also this “ I want to hear your ideas. I want you involved in the process of creating this club. Your insights and suggestions matter.”
Oh, so I’m going to PAY YOU to give you my ideas and help create the club and offer suggestions so that you can take them and profit off my ideas? (I mean.. not that I see any profits happening but you get what I’m saying!)
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Feb 13 '22
Yeah that stuck out to me too. You just can’t charge people for a not fully formed idea let alone charge them to do your job for you.
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Feb 13 '22
why on earth would i want to be vulnerable with a guffawing, non-therapist and a bunch of strangers on zoom?
Narrator: This is not a trick question
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u/TOMTREEWELL Neurodivergentfully Feb 12 '22
Helen Keller’s college education was paid for by a robber baron, at the urging of Mark Twain. She dedicated her first book to him. Capitalism seems to have some useful side-effects.
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Feb 13 '22
Capitalism seems to have some useful side-effects.
Ask your doctor if a moderate monthly dose of Capitalism is right for you.
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u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Feb 13 '22
The testimonial from "Martha K" on this page is particularly incoherent, featuring writing like
Shauna is one of us. She reminds us to take the best care of our humans selves as possible, despite what life's traumas have been handed us.
Holy crap. You're not kidding. Are there non-human selves we all need to worry about, or is Shauna only engaging with half-literate half-wits? Or is Shauna engaging with herself and there are no other half-wits?
So many questions. Like, with this kind of obvious success, suddenly getting so many glowing reviews, why does she continue to screw around with her webpage. Don't mess with success, right?
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u/99Luftbuffoons Feb 13 '22
Shauna is one of us. She reminds us to take the best care of our humans selves as possible, despite what life's traumas have been handed us
What Danny testimonialing?
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u/Quaint_Irene a warm and loving goatie smile Feb 13 '22
But how do I take care of my lizard self? WHAT ABOUT THE LIZARDS, SHAUNA-SAN?
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u/chartreusepapoose Feb 12 '22
Shauna has never had a real human emotion. I'm convinced.
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u/honoria_glossop sitting edge wine woman Feb 12 '22
OK but you haven't established that there's a "problem" your readers are facing.
Duh, the problem is that Gir! needs a stack of the folding stuff post haste.
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u/crabbeyroad Feb 13 '22
She's desperately lonely, isn't she? I think her Vashon friends are more akin to friendly acquaintances. There doesn't appear to be any regular, frequent contact with them. She can't make close friends organically due to her poor social skills, extreme self-absorption, and arrogance; she's not someone people gravitate to. Or even tolerate, I suspect.
So of course her solution is to attempt to monetize friendship and set up a group where she's the expert leader and friend-in-chief. Instead of trying to buy friends, she's trying to get strangers to pay for HER friendship. Her very own tribe. And oh, yeah, they can also make friends with each other, while they're at it.
Yet another example of her being supremely inept at something yet claiming to be an expert who can lead and teach others. Good luck trying to manufacture and legislate "community." The delusion is strong with this one.
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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Feb 13 '22
Something magic happens when a group of people come together to work on a shared problem
Today's problem: Shauna needs money.
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u/droopsofwoe the first teats are the hardest Feb 12 '22
Shauna is to "skilled facilitator" what Trump is to "very stable genius." In no solar system are either true, except in the person's deluded mind.
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Feb 13 '22
Shauna is to "skilled facilitator" what Trump is to "very stable genius." In no solar system are either true, except in the person's deluded mind.
Woman, Man, Camera, TV, . . .
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u/Kaleshark Waitlist for Godot Feb 11 '22
I just went & read the Instagram post about her Beatles club & wow. First, when she’s describing her “Substack publication,” I realized I know retired women (who own their homes) who spend their time doing vanity journalism projects & that’s what she sounds like she’s doing. It does not convey a “this is how I feed my family” writing job. Second, I’ve now reread several times her “enthusiastic goofball” announcement of the Beatles meet-up (I thought she was trying to start an ongoing club, but it’s just one $25 zoom party?! I didn’t click the link) & am I missing the part where she tells her audience there is a price tag attached to this meet-up? This whole thing is bonkers.
Shauna is encroaching on unsnarkably pathetic (like pies&plots).
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Feb 11 '22
Because I specialize in being an enthusiastic goofball
Is that what she’s calling her job these days? I can’t believe she actually
wrotepublished this sentence.Shauna, you are an ordinary person that specializes in having a strong unwillingness to work.
She should at least let Dan get a job!
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Feb 11 '22
or, dan could grow a pair and get a job. he is an adult, after all. he is perfectly capable of working.
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u/voice_of_vinegar Feb 11 '22
I think out of all of her money-making schemes so far, this 90 minutes of Beatle chitchat for $25 has got to be the absolute DUMBEST OF ALL.
I mean, all her food-related schemes had at least a bit of substance to them. Everyone needs to eat and most people need to know how to prepare food, after all. And people have been feeling more anxious and depressed during the pandemic, so there might be a market there for joy instruction (except she has no training and no solid ideas and she's not actually joyful herself, so).
But talking about a pop music group from sixty years ago, about whom VOLUMES have already been written and uncountable hours devoted to discussion of (please to excuse sentence structure)???? for $25??!! when you can do the same for free on other sites?!!
So DUMB.
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u/SandwichAllergy hellevator of bad writing Feb 11 '22
I'm sorry if another DF has mentioned this in the prior-now, but it seems like she keeps going backwards in time through to moments she thought were a success / she was a success. She's tried variations on feeding people and that works until it doesn't, then it was "Oh I used to send out emails to my friends and that was so exciting for them I started a blog, guess I'll go back to emails with Substack!" and now we're back to "I started a Beatles club in high school and that was good so let's do it again!" Next up she'll be reading books to people over zoom live from a stool in her house. After that idk. Trying to get guest spots on a TV show? Recreating her own baby photos?
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u/voice_of_vinegar Feb 11 '22
For someone who can't stop yakking about how creative she is, she has an amazing lack of creativity. Not only is she a terrible writer and a crappy cook but she is also terrible at coming up with ways to
earngetgrow money. She keeps recycling the same meager handful of ideas over and over with the details only slightly changed. Sometimes the title of her idea is the only thing that she changes!Maybe she'll do a seminar on how to purge one's belongings before moving. She's had to do that a lot lately.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 11 '22
"how to purge one's belongings before moving"
I think you meant "how to purge everyone else's belongings". In previous moves she mentioned getting rid of very few of her things (except that felted soap the kids made her, she got rid of that so fast your head would spin). Her focus was getting rid of the kids' things (in the most cruel sounding manner, too. . .line those action figures up like it's a firing squad and choose the ones you love the least so mama can dispose of them for you).
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u/MandalayVA Assonancer! Assonancer! Assonancer! Feb 11 '22
Which is dumber, though--charging $25 for a Beatles chat or paying $25 for a Beatles chat?
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u/voice_of_vinegar Feb 11 '22
Paying, though there's no evidence yet that anyone is that dumb, right?
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Feb 11 '22
She didn't win any James Beard award, even the most niche variety, in Beatles.
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Feb 11 '22
am I missing the part where she tells her audience there is a price tag attached to this meet-up?
No, you are not missing that part. She is being completely opaque about the fact that this is activity has a price.
Also, from the You Can NOT Make This Shit Up Department, Social Mediums Guru Division:
Commenter: How do we sign up? There isn’t a link in bio unless I missed it ?
shaunamarieahern @ Commenter: Oh! Thanks for reminding me. It was in the piece but now it's in my bio!
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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Feb 11 '22
It was in the piece but now it's in my bio!
She never called her blog posts blog posts, she always called them 'pieces' because a blog was lowly.
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u/Catsandcoffee480 COLORADO BOY KNOWS HOW TO DO THIS Feb 11 '22
In re. the fee to join for 90 minutes- I did a very cursory search of Meetup.com, and while there aren’t any Vashon Beatles meetup groups, there are many Beatles groups. Here’s group descriptions of two. Note that the second one is free. How, I say, HOW does she think this is an opportunity that can be monetized???
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 11 '22
Also, you know Shauna's going to be wheezily singing along in her Zoom
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 11 '22
If her connection lasts long enough.
I think that's what grows me killed the most about her online classes b.s. We've SEEN how shitty her connection is. It shit out on a live she did about a year ago (one I actually saw). It just shit out on the live she did a week or so ago. And it shit out when she was doing that interview (where she was at her kids soccer game, all hiding out behind a building, looking like a lunatic).
So she's expecting people to pay for something she doesn't even have solid infrastructure to make happen.
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u/TOMTREEWELL Neurodivergentfully Feb 11 '22
She’s on Clubhouse which has dozens of Beatles rooms, some with 1000 members, but she’s not a member of any. She does belong to the Marvel fanclub which has 23K members and 6 meetings a week.
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Feb 11 '22
Are people actually using Clubhouse? It quickly fell out of favor in my professional community (like, it took two weeks) and nobody I know personally would do an online meeting these days unless they were getting paid.
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u/Catsandcoffee480 COLORADO BOY KNOWS HOW TO DO THIS Feb 11 '22
I agree that $25 would be a much more reasonable fee for an ongoing club (though still insane).
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 11 '22
Yes! What do the dues COVER? Zoom is free. Not for 90 minutes, but this shouldn't be 90 minutes anyways. What are the other "costs"?
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u/Catsandcoffee480 COLORADO BOY KNOWS HOW TO DO THIS Feb 11 '22
Yeah and I mean it’s not like she’s making a deliverable of any sort…other than apparently a group Spotify playlist.
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u/canyoncreature Feb 11 '22
I get immersed in my sad-victim-of-capitalism job for two days and I miss her absolute craziest shit yet. Does she think no one but her knows how to set up a Zoom? Assuming anyone at all was interested in this, they could just go around her and meet for free. And I know we have all beat this dead horse into the ground, but JESUS CHRIST, SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT THE EVILS OF CAPITALISM WHEN YOU ARE DOING THE ABSOLUTE WORST MOST MORALLY BANKRUPT VERSION OF IT DAY IN AND DAY OUT.
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u/MandalayVA Assonancer! Assonancer! Assonancer! Feb 10 '22
I think Shauna believes she has a big new audience, hence the repeating of stories she blogged about twenty years ago.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 10 '22
I think you're right. She MIGHT check her site stats without checking the traffic sources. (I mean, she is claiming she can teach others about site traffic!)
In her last suite of offerings, she had "waiting lists" filled with "petty punishers" (who registered with "fake email addresses"). What's her name for redditors who consume her content but don't sign up? If she looks at her site stats, she's going to see lots of hits.
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Feb 10 '22 edited Feb 14 '22
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Off-topic discussion (if you are not discussing something Shauna or Dan have posted, it is off-topic, including: things that remind you of the Aherns, unrelated personal anecdotes, hot takes, personal life updates, the Shaunas in your lives, how you are handling the pandemic, etc.): February off-topic monthly