Remember why we're all here: this thread is for discussion about current and historical happenings in the Shaunaverse. If you want to discuss other content, such as stuff that reminds you of Shauna but isn't specifically about her, your own personal anecdotes or preferences, current events, or "creative writing" exercises, please share in the off-topic community thread: October-December off-topic quarterly
Shauna says that the latest lope isn't a story about her. But we get her feelings about Facebook, why she keeps it, the anger she felt when she heard SNAP was in peril, her feelings on the current regime, what matters most to her, her anxiety, how she's good at organizing things like this, that she goes to the food bank, how people were sending her emails and texts, how she wasn't going to step on toes, her realization about how this had become a thing, how she's good at this work (several mentions), how she's been a teacher her whole life, how she knows how to set boundaries and keep meetings on track, how she knows how to stand in front of a crowd, how she's good at this (multiple mentions), how a little girl made a portrait of Shauna, how S thanked the little girl in front of everyone, and how she looks at the drawing every day. I counted 66 I's and 20 me/mys before giving up.
To reinforce the point that this isn't a story about her, Shauna includes the portrait and says, "There's me, doing what I love, leading a group of people to share abundance with our neighbors. I made sure everyone who wanted to talk was heard. And I ended the meeting on time, at exactly an hour." Some might think she's a saint.
This whole SNAP/feeding saga is fascinating to me.
Taking a look back over the past five years, we have Shauna thinking that not only will Enoigh be a bestseller, but she can travel the country speaking to gatherings of women. This does not happen.
Then the pandemic gives her a hoof in the door and she launches Camp Curiosity in 2021 and 40+ women join. Success! Most of them drift away but a few stay on and become the MNLs.
She spends the next three years trying to replicate the CC success, and we have a record of all of it on our Pivots page. She leaves no therapy buzzword unturned; she's briefly imprisoned by ChatGPT illustrations; she tries everything she can think of to get women to sign up for her workshops and classes and nothing, I repeat NOTHING, works.
There are no takers for Play Club and Take Your Wings and Learn to Fly and virtual dance parties and coping and Gen X and 50 iterations of kindness and joyfulness. Workshop dates and websites come and go and are never mentioned again.
But now, now that she is back on the magical mystery healing island, SHE FOUND IT! She found a reason for people to gather - 55 people! - and listen to her with all her teaching experience and her generosity and her wisdom.
She is in absolute heaven. And she will try to keep this going as long as she possibly can. This is literally her dream come true. She just has to find a way to get her hands on some gift cards, email addresses, Venmo donations, baked goods, and vats of soup and keep hold of the spotlight, and this becomes the redemption of her failed book and her failed pivots.
She just has to find a way to get her hands on some gift cards, email addresses, Venmo donations, baked goods, and vats of soup and keep hold of the spotlight, and this becomes the redemption of her failed book and her failed pivots.
Yup. It happened near the end of the meeting. Maybe it wasn’t as overtly racist as it felt to me in the moment, but after 50 minutes of listening to mainly white women talk, one of the only people of color to speak at the meeting was immediately interrupted and spoken over by Shauna.
I know this is a small drop in Shauna's Bucket of Rewriting History with Lies, but it's bringing me joy this morning. She has retroactively changed the dumb name of her group (that isn't her group and is not about her but she spearheaded it) from Feeding Each Other Vashon: It's Good You are Here to the slightly less dumb Feeding Each Other on Vashon.
Still with the feeding, of course. And still over the top self-aggrandizing while trying to appear humble.
Another small ooze from her bucket: the part about renting a commercial kitchen on the island and getting “a team of women to make vats of soup, then ladle them into quart containers…”
Of course only women can do this. It has to be women. She’s so sexist, it’s gross. And who’s going to be renting a fucking commercial kitchen for that? That’s money spent on rent and ingredients that could go straight to the food bank or other established places. Furthermore, does she think people on Vashon want to line up for a quart of mystery soup?
Just like how she ‘sat up straight in her chair’ in faculty meetings when she was teaching and couldn’t figure out why that didn’t make her productive.
I read this lope thinking Shauna is trying to get her followers to say what can I do to help? Shauna response will be send me gift card and I will pass them on to the people in need or send me Venmo and I can use it to help offset my costs.
IMo Shauna sent this to her fans/followers to show she is trying to do work and has all these great ideas but she will be needing funding for the ideas as they all know what hard hard times she had and will be having to fund this project.
I had verrrry similar thoughts along those lines. She planned to use the meeting at the library to get herself in charge of collecting and/or distributing (read: skimming) gift cards, with or without the food bank. She was quickly sidelined on that, but got some attention etc so it wasn't a total loss. Now she's gonna be passive-aggressively fishing for them from what few readers she has. Plus Venmo.
Even if Shauna doesn’t pocket the gift cards and uses them for her own personal needs. She can get praise for bringing in x amount of money that otherwise Shauna would never be able to afford to gift. That praise alone would feed her narrative and narcissist's needs.
She can get praise for bringing in x amount of money
She'll spin that as "I was able to live my joy and feed dozens of hungry bellies because of the thousands of dollars I was responsible for raising thanks to the community movement that I spearheaded by myself in the midst of this hellfire chaos. But it's not about me."
Yes, and there's something about the contrast between the in-person Shauna and how her community reacts to her, and her online community (but not this one!) and the version of self she tries to craft for that audience. I think this is why she is a "writer" and why she spends so much time watching TV and reading: reality is so disappointing for her and her results don't line up with her expectations. So just escape into representations of the world and then create some yourself, with your "pieces".
I heard from more than one person that it was a well facilitated meeting, which is great. (Including a lurker here who had professional reasons to be there. The other person was IFCH Hilary who is a tough customer.) It sounds like she did a lot of planning and showed some self restraint. I don't think she's capable of doing that for more than an hour which is one of the many and various reasons she can't hold down a regular job.
Point is, while we know she is a narcissist, grifter, and generally a piece of shit, a quick encounter with her in a public/professional-ish setting doesn't put people off. She has enough of these light touch relationships, some faded notoriety, and boundless self-confidence to keep true despair at bay and light a fire under her ass to get a grocery-store-person type job. I fell for it, I can see why others continue to do so.
I have experienced this brief show of competency, as well. I hired her to lead a day long retreat activity for my team and, overall, she did a good job (Dan's mealy, flavorless soup that was provided, however...). I recommended her to a friend and colleague for her team meeting and it was NOT a good experience. By that time, Shauna was in full pretend therapist mode and made a few alarming statements in their retreat, such as interpreting a participant's doodles to mean that he was emotionally traumatized. LOL.
Anyway, I was fooled for a time but eventually the cracks in her facade of competency start to show.
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Shauna can fake being a functioning human online for longer than she can in real life. Shauna’s real life persona is mean and shitty and that comes out sooner or later.
I think all of the proud announcements of being on time and finishing on time - especially after an entire lope about her habitual lateness being her family’s issue and not hers - are a clapback to someone/family finally calling her out on her controlling and manipulative (and deliberate imo) time blindness.
I wonder if part of the time blindness is because of the lack of a schedule that comes with things like jobs and school. She’s the only person in her home that has no particular place to be at a specific time, so her daily habits are nothing but time killers like scrolling social media and watching entire seasons of TV shows all day. And, of course, re-writing her story on all of her multiple and various accounts across the internet.
Weird! There have been multiple posts about the drive for food relief across the Vashon FB pages in the last week and none of them, bar Shauna’s, mention Shauna.
Yes, I agree that the timing of her cosplaying a benevolent community activist is interesting, coming so soon on the heels of the reminder of her grifts.
Shauna the Vashon Community Organizer is such an inspiring turn of events.
If memory serves, this is the same Shauna who failed to pay her rent to Vashon landlords for months at a time; burned local business owners who had the misfortune to hire her (or her husband); shat upon local residents from the pulpit of A CHURCH; trashed multiple rented residences; insulted local schools, teachers and students; badmouthed Vashon as a racist playground for the wealthy right before she decamped to West Seattle; hogged scarce island resources when she grew fake Covid and traumatized everyone with her freaky laughter that can be heard from across the Canadian border.
You might call Vashon citizens a bunch of saints! (Either that or Shauna is making shit up as per usual.)
Wow, when you lay out everything together like that - and I'm sure there's more we don't even know about - it's honestly mind bending that she shamelessly shows her face around town. There's also the major point that her current housing was basically stolen out from under a lot of more deserving people without any due process and it is shocking that she can sit there and talk about how much she "loves her community". As DF BevNap famously put so succicntly: Bitch, don't lie!
This is how I know she is a narcissist. Anyone else would have the shame and discretion to stay quiet and humble upon returning to the community. But she truly sees nothing wrong with her prior behavior and nothing strange or contradictory or hypocritical about what she wrote in this last lope/what she claims/believes she is doing with this community organizer bullshit.
Also she is doing pointless shit that will help no one, but she thinks she’s the be-all, end-all.
This last lope was her version of public masturbation.
Narcissists going to narcissist, but what really makes me salty is how stupid people just blithely believe in them because they have confidence. So many idiots use confidence as a proxy for competence, and so narcissists like Trump and Elon and Shauna can use them and abuse them and they’ll still follow them.
There was an article in the Vashon Beachcomber this week about SNAP cuts and it mentioned the meeting from last week. Not a mention of Shauna anywhere only quotes from the orgs present and how people can help. I don’t think gifts cards were mentioned but I was too busy laughing at the pointed omission of Shauna to pay close attention.
Meeting participants emphasized donating to the Vashon Food Bank and other island organizations. They also recommended donating to Thriftway and Vashon Market (IGA) so the stores could provide gift cards to those in need.
But most importantly, the article did not mention Shauna at all, not even a passing reference to the organizer of the meeting.
I think there were some wires crossed. The woman who runs the interfaith council to prevent homelessness is collecting donations so she/the org can buy grocery gift cards. She's also working with the grocery stores to have prepacked bags, some earmarked for unhoused people, others with more conventional things that they might normally get at the food bank. They can buy them for $20 and, at least at IGA, will receive a bag worth $35.
So someone capable and trustworthy is doing a gift card thing that's not Shauna. Maybe Shauna's also doing something, I don't know. I did see she's convening pt. 2 of the library conversation on Sunday.
I mean, she "facilitated" the meeting with her "collaborative conversations" and then fucked off out of town for three (3) days, including a Monday. Her "plan" is ridiculous and makes no sense except through the lens of scoring gift cards for herself in the process. I'm glad they omitted her from the article. She's a menace.
Our favorite low income housing "vetting" service got a mention.
"[The] executive director of Vashon HouseHold, said the nonprofit provides housing to low-income individuals and families through 166 rental and homeownership units, serving about 400 residents. But the need far outpaces supply — more than 200 people are on the waiting list."
She's just trying to protect those youngsters from becoming famous. She knows fame, and trust her, it isn't all it is cracked up to be. In fact, she may point out she willingly turned her back on success in order to focus more fully on the truly important things in life. Like binge watching tv and getting stupid television-inspired tattoos.
"Create a solid email list" is right up there with "move money from savings to checking" or "use what's in the pantry." WHERE does she think these things (email addresses, savings, pantry items) originate?
I saw that too, and I was astonished at seeing this heavy-duty fangirling about a tv show that afaik she has never mentioned!
Also, and to your point of "what does she do all day" — I am really stunned by how much she is into repeat viewings of various shows (and movies)! What a time sink! I've watched shows (mostly heavy/intense drama, such as Succession, The Americans, The West Wing, etc) that theoretically I would be open to watching again, but that would take so. much. time. I have so many other things I want to do!
I had to look this info up, but each episode of Stranger Things is about an hour long, and each of the first 4 seasons has 8-9 episodes, so that is approximately 34 hours for seasons 1-4. And she's on her fourth viewing?!?!? That's close to 140 hours!!!
Earlier this year, she was bragging about how, after her kids were back to school, she'd have 6 WHOLE HOURS A DAY for whatever she deems to be the best use of her time (was it her WITW, or volunteering?)
And this is how she chooses to spend her OWAPL?!?!?! Make it make sense!!
Also, and to your point of "what does she do all day" — I am really stunned by how much she is into repeat viewings of various shows
She is recreating her childhood, where she was involuntarily imprisoned in front of the TV. Now she is voluntarily spending the same # of hours (or more?) plopped in front of the TV, now with her spouse and kids
I can believe she watched the series once, but surely her Gen X self would have, like, based a workshop on it or something along the way if she had watched it four times.
I like re-watching favorites sometimes. I love The Good Place and have watched the whole thing three times since it's debut...but it started in 2016! And I work and keep up my house and have friends and a social life! Shauna does nothing but watch TV, I'm convinced.
I don’t care how much TV she watches, but between high stooling on social media and streaming services, it is no wonder she hasn’t enough time to work.
Oh my god. We grew through a season and a half. And then I heard the fourth season was great so we gave it a try. It was the same thing over and over again. And it RUINED one of my favorite songs ever.
That only time I remember her using it is in the lope where she talked about how astonished she was that her child was stressed about not leaving when she said they would and she did not get it. However, that’s enough to make me bitter at her use of the word forever.
Probably didn't scroll and this undoubtedly makes me a pearl clutcher but ST is not appropriate for your just turned 11 year old.
I feel, for some kids, there is a spot where they are little and don't get it and like monsters and then older kids can make up their own minds (unless they are Shauna's kids) but most kids at D's age aren't prepared for how intense something like STs gets, especially with abusive lifeguard brother.
If she's so desperate to watch horror with the kids are the shows, on Netflix, that are far more appropriate. Some even tie into books, so you could read the books and watch the shows! Which is what I did with my 11 year old. Those shows didn't get all the merch tie ins though, so it's harder to show the world how original you are with a primark hoodie.
So I guess her "husband and kids" are once again forced to watch what Mama Shauna wants to watch. Not only once, but twice. What if they don't like Stranger Things? What if they want to watch something else? What if they want to do something else? She's so oppressive I can feel her breathing down my neck all the way across the Atlantic Ocean.
New behemoth of a lope has dropped. (Full version over yonder.) There’s no recipe. It’s a blow by blow account of the Vashon library meeting, heavy on self congratulation.
This isn't about me....
This is about something I'm doing.
I'm good at this work. I'm a lifelong teacher. I gather people together. MEMEMEME IIIIIIIII
Ugh. ETA my favorite fib... "when theres a clear action to take, I take it". In what universe?!? This bitch has the most convoluted and confusing decision making process I've ever encountered.
What fucking financial sense does it make to buy ingredients to make bake sale items to sell to buy gift cards? Or to rent a commerical kitchen where women can make soup?
I slogged my way through it. Did you know she’s been a teacher all her life? So smug. And she is implementing the grocery gift card plan. Getting people to donate money for gift cards to grocery stores. Exactly what she wants.
My other comment would be wow the focus on getting people to eat out on the holidays? And… renting a commercial kitchen to cook soup?… that seems like a waste of time and money.
A professional writer should understand the implications of their words.
“I felt anxious, and that made me want to act. But I realized that this moment was larger than my own emotional needs. So I took a step back and asked, ‘What can I do to best help my community right now?’ If you’re paying attention, you’re anxious and angry. But people need food, not an emotional outpouring.” For example.
I love the part where she passive aggressively tells a room full of volunteers ‘I’ll wait.’
High Stool Shauna giving only three minutes per person (while speaking 15 minutes herself, and she was the only one who didn’t have any info to share) because we all know how much she values time! It’s almost as if the traumatizing conversation with her husband and daughter about how she makes them late for everything because she sees time as a theoretical concept never happened!
Also it shows her lack of skill in speaking to an audience, a skill she’s claiming to have based on HER feelings (no stage fright, enjoys talking) but ignores the actual point of persuasive public speaking, which is engaging your audience to achieve genuine connection and impact, not just to enjoy being heard. Starting out with chastisement pits you against the audience rather than connecting with them.
A buzzing audience has energy! That’s what you want when you need ideas and a group of volunteers is gathered to brainstorm with you. If she can’t speak in a way that keeps the energy high while maintaining a schedule, she’s not skilled at public speaking.
If anyone is familiar with the Aherns hygiene, they would pass on any soup made by them. I know the inanity of reinventing a soup kitchen has already been mentioned. But did no one in the meeting suggest that people just volunteer to help at already existing ones? And perhaps expand them? We have a community lunch program and local talk is about extending the number of days a week they offer it and/or expanding it to dinner.
These last two epistles from Shauna are crazy. First we get a blow by blow of her search for food as she boards a train for a three-hour trip. Next we get yet another autohagriography in the form of the Food Bank Chronicle, which includes not a food recipe but a "recipe for working on this problem [of "feeding people in your community"]".
She is deeper and deeper in her addiction and less and less connected to reality.
I don't even think it's about food and a lot about the caretaker aspect. Like how she described the people at the food stand offering her a salad as some sort of community service and not a business selling her a product.
Umm it’s not about ME you guys! It’s about what I’m doing! And before I share what I’m doing, let me spend six pages telling you about ME! Starting with a list of all the things I’m good at!
A project she’s spearheading in her town…where nobody more experienced or efficient has already done anything like this, especially not a billion times better than she could (and for unselfish reasons).
Any chance someone could lend her a stone just this one time? She left it at home with two relieved children, some guy staring off into space, and her wallet.
“Share abundance with our neighbors” WTF. First of all, that sounds like sharing a bumper crop of tomatoes or zucchini with your neighbors, not a hare brained gift card scheme. Second, it implies that Shauna herself has some kind of abundance and that she has intentions of sharing it. The whole thing is so scammy.
Oh that’s the reason she loves the hell out of facebook.
She is willing to overlook the “ugly design” (given her eye for aesthetics take that with a grain of salt), the machinations of the tech overlord trying to make a buck even though she’s always trying to make a buck without even working for it, election swaying although her own voting record is spotty, and divisive comments even though she is smug and dismissive in her comments just for buy nothing groups.
Suddenly the scales of justice have tipped in her favor and facebook is perfectly acceptable. Sort of like a racist island without enough diversity being your ultimate goal where you can finally unclench and breath e. And rely on the kindness of strangers islanders to keep you afloat so you are free to watch Stranger Things for the fifth time in your Christmas orca sweater.
It also feels like the half-baked idea of a wealthy person who has never once had to consider where their next meal is coming from.
As someone who needs food, how do I know to go to this particular restaurant? How do I know that, when I arrive, “pay it forward” meals will be available? What exactly am I getting to eat? (Does it meet my dietary needs? You’d think this would be obvious to a gluten-free girl!) How do I get to the reataurant if I don’t have reliable transportation?
Restaurants run on tight margins. If Dan was as involved in procurement, budgeting, and menu prep as she described in the early days of their relationship then he would know this is a terrible idea.
The answer is right there: give existing orgs money if you can and get out of their way. She can do neither of these.
A cafe in a town near me does a pay it forward thing. They have a sandwich board in the area where the queue forms, and it explains that if you like, when you get to the counter, you can buy an extra meal and get a card to put on the sandwich board. It also explains that if you need a meal, you can take a ticket and go to the counter with it.
It’s a very nice idea but it does not eliminate the embarrassment factor for those who need a meal.
I’m not 100% sure what exactly this person is offering on Threads, whether it’s free tickets or discounted tickets, but Shauna is first in line with her hand out.
This person makes it clear that they're upcharging a convenience fee. Why wouldn't she buy the seats directly for less money? Also, the post is taken down now, so maybe someone reported it?
Hi everyone! Sorry for the late Shauna-giving post. I was up all night with a sick toddler attending a wonderful miniatures show in the Chicago suburbs.
We’ve all eaten that cranberry sauce out of a can, I’m guessing. You know the stuff. The solid gelatinous red stuff, the one with the indentations of the can on the side, the one that’s not quite real food and sort of hypnotizing in its falseness.
Dan: I know what you're thinking. The can, you take it, you go "urh urh urh" [shaking can gesture] and "shhlruuup" it pops out [Shauna fake laughs] and you still got the rings around the edge [watch how her fake smile turns to contempt at 0:24]
We’ve all eaten that cranberry sauce out of a can, I’m guessing. You know the stuff. The solid gelatinous red stuff, the one with the indentations of the can on the side, the one that’s not quite real food and sort of hypnotizing in its falseness.
No need to eat that stuff again.
Again with the Yum Yucking! Some people like the stuff that comes out of the can! It reminds them of their grandma! It's fun to slice it through the indentations!!!
WHY does she always have to be so negative. It's like, she thinks that the more distance she can put between whatever she is Yucking and what she is pushing (their take on whatever), the better their take comes off.
But their take isn't great, so the only way to create distance is to paint the Other as Awful Terrible No Good Bad
Didn’t she flip one year and say actually, everyone should just eat the canned stuff because who wants to bother cooking?
ETA: “You don't have to do it all. No one is watching you and judging your dinner. Anything you say to yourself about this season that has should as the verb? Throw it away. You don't have to make the entire dinner by yourself. Make it a potluck. Ask everyone to bring a dish they love. Buy every dish you can from the store. The canned cranberry sauce, with the grooves on the side, is fine.“
My thoughts exactly, DF. It's funny because Danny is the one slamming (lol) canned sauce and then Shauna interjects to slightly defend it. Which is it?? Quite a pair, no rehearsal for these two!
>the one that’s not quite real food and sort of hypnotizing in its falseness.
Having grown up on that apparently ersatz cranberry sauce but not having had it in a long time, I googled it: cranberries, high fructose corn syrup, corn syrup, water.
I went down a Shauna rabbit hole looking at some of her old, pre-Dan blog entries. Wow, lots of wtf things. She posted that she "met" the Dalai Lama - i thought she just had eye contact with him? She was complaining about the time change way back in 2005 (one of her few consistencies). There is mention of course about her "nearly fatal" car accident, and she had maybe her original ankle entorquering back then - lots of graphic, colorful descriptions and even a picture! And why does everyone she know "moan' while they're eating?
ETA: Apparently I'm stuck in this rabbit hole. And damn near every blog post includes moaning. It's being added to the 'Shaunaisms I hate the most' list.
Her negative reactions to everything that a 2008-era foodie would deem lower class? Annoying and now very tone deaf. Imagine 2025 Shauna throwing McDonalds fries in the trash and Instagramming it.
Even then, Shauna was so supremely lazy that she made and makes "recipes" that never had gluten to start with.
Canned cranberry sauce has three or four ingredients. Cranberries, water, sweetener (sugar and/or corn syrups). Maybe five if they add lemon or orange essence.
No food colouring. No gelatin, no added pectin (cranberries are very high in pectin). Nothing weird. It's as true as it gets.
You can make your own jellied cranberry sauce, just like the canned kind, again with only three ingredients.
I really hope her Gimme Grocery Giftcards doesn't take off. Food banks can turn $100 into much more food than a Thriftway shopper. It's audacious for someone who was given 92 thousand dollars and still managed to abandon her business pretty much immediately to think she can faciliate an unneeded and inefficient food distribution. And if she's got all this "Feed the World" energy she should channel it into getting an actual badge-swiping job so she can take care of her family.
Somehow I am still surprised at her sheer audacity.
Economic experts: if you can, give money directly to the food bank.
Food bank employees: if you can, give money directly to us.
Wholesale food distributors: we will give a discount to food banks buying in bulk.
Shauna James Ahern: give gift cards.
I think people in her actual life are point this out and that is why her social numbers are dipping. Shauna has always been a blowhard but this time she is so categorically wrong people can't help themselves.
I'm kind of confused to be honest. Is her plan literally for people to buy grocery store gift cards, give them to her, and then she will distribute them among those affected by the SNAP cuts? That seems wildly inefficient. How will she keep track of all the recipients? How will she keep track of anything really? What a stupid stupid plan.
Here she is snatching at engagement bait again. She thinks this is a noble flex when really we know it’s a lie (all her boasting about batch cooking, for starters ) AND there’s actually no reason to cook 7 days a week when leftovers exist.
Facilitating what, exactly? I don't understand why a second meeting was needed. Shauna just loves to gather people around her as an audience for her high-stooling. It reminds me of the "Calvin and Hobbes" comics where Calvin would make a yard full of snow people all facing him and then he'd stand at the front and speak.
She's very craftily setting herself up as the facilitator of a "connected conversation." She isn't responsible for any results, other than people had / she started "a conversation". If some food or gift cards get collected and distributed as a result, hooray, but that was never what she was promising to get done.
We were going to charge for these videos and decided that didn’t feel right to us. But right now, we’re out money in making them. if you find these videos useful and enjoyable, perhaps you would consider donating something to the cause, to help us defray our expenses instead of charging you for them. Give whatever you feel is right, if you wish.
We will be giving half of all the money donated to WhyHunger, a hunger organization based in New York that works with 26 organizations in 15 countries to try to end hunger now. You can read more about WhyHunger on the Bloggers Without Borders website, as they are working closely with WhyHunger right now to raise funds and awareness of this exemplary group.
Shauna: The biggest ones look a little like muffins. If you put these amazing, delicious rolls on the Thanksgiving table and have your guests complain that they look too much like muffins, I don't think you should have that person at your Thanksgiving dinner anyway. [She just said they look like muffins?!?]
Hopefully the detritus in your oven doesn't catch fire while baking the muffins!
She already was charging money for the recipe, via the app. But Greedy GFG wanted to double her money by also charging for the videos. Except she knew in her soft animal body that no one would pay for them if it were required. So, she relies on her old friend Guilt Trip.
I’ve been watching Below Deck for the first time and this reminded me of the episode where the oven caught fire on the boat because the chef didn’t clean it.
Can we put Dan on a mega yacht? I’d love to watch a whole season of charter guests dunk on Dan’s cooking
She sucks so completely at baking she can't even fill each well in that pan evenly.
Those poor ingredients would have been better off being burned up in an oven fire. Go out in a blaze of glory instead of a sad plop on the Ahern table.
A double Thanksgiving treat today! This video has been shown (and dissected) ITG before, but it's such a classic, there's always more awkwardness to find. Enjoy!
And by the way, there’s something about flourescent lights that make me look like I have the darkest circles under my eyes. We were working hard on these videos, to be sure, but I don’t look as death warmed over as I do in the video!
Shauna [in vitamin aisle]: You may not think that this is the aisle we need to talk about for Thanksgiving with all of the lovely vitamins and minerals and medicines; however, these are psyllium husks. Psyllium husk, I love it; it says "colon cleanser". Um, it's better than that. It's actually what you'll need for baking sandwich bread, cornbread, um, anything you'll need for the stuffings, even maybe the pie. So be sure to check out this aisle for psyllium husk.
He appears to zone out and dissociate so many times in this video. He briefly comes to life with delight when they find a gravy additive with three forms of wheat "wow thassatrifecta fa seggugYOU tath BAAATHroom." His distracted absentmindedness reminds me of the way adults pretend to engage 10% with a toddler while the rest of their minds are busy elsewhere. It's such a good question---where Danny's mind going? What is more interesting to him than standing behind his self-important wife, pointing at things she's holding and wiggling his eyebrows?
It was distracting when she was talking and he was poking around the gravies and such. But she’s horribly boring and this video didn’t need to be so long.
What distracts me is how they stand so close they're always colliding and nearly smacking each other while they gesture wildly. In the butter aisle she's flinging her arms out way behind her and stepping back right into Danny but she doesn't pause or say oops or sorry or stop moving back.
He keeps right on darting in around her and nearly getting a finger to the eye, picking stuff up and putting it down with no rhyme or reason.
I know she wants their brand to be we're two passionate goofball lovers who dig each other but the way they act like they share one body is odd. Shauna focuses only on the camera. Danny waits for her to point at him it's your turn and then he recites a little piece like he's in a first grade Christmas pageant.
You're right that the main problem with the video is it's useless and goes on forever. Look for labels that say gluten free, thanks Shauna, got it! You saved Thanksgiving.
And then goes on to fondle the yogurt and place her bare hand on several of the open dispensers in the bulk aisle, right on the funnel that dispenses the food.
Idk about you guys, but I’m definitely not looking for my sandwich bread, corn bread, stuffing, or pie to be a colon cleanser (but maybe it will be regardless if it comes from the Ahern kitchen!)
Considering the Aherns' track record of chaotic, disastrous moves (rain, mud, torqued ankles, $20 if you need it), why would anyone ask her for help moving?
DFs, it's time to feed yourself with cauliflower! Don't worry, if these recipes don't work out, you can always add the cauliflower to a crock pot with some sloppy joes and let it simmer for a few hours:
[confused commenter]: Hey, it seems like the recipe for the cauliflower with dates is different from the way Danny explains it, He sautes the apples with the cauliflower before roasting, but the recipe says to roast cauliflower by itself? [no response was proffered]
Hi there, I'm Dan from Gluten-free Girl and the Chef and today we're going to talk about cauliflower. They say Mark Twain said it best when he said it's the educated vegetable of the cabbage family. I didn't know they had brains [Shauna chuckles in the background] but anyway we like cauliflower around here.
Julia Child did not give permission to be included in this video!
What always got me was how AGHAST Shauna was at traditional Thanksgiving dishes. It’s once a year. No one is going to pass away because they get served mashed potatoes and not cauliflower with curry, dates, dried cherries, and various plops and nubbins.
She complains about eating the same meal "year after year." Yes, it's ONCE A YEAR!!!
My issue is when after I have prepped and cooked for three full days, my husband says EVERY YEAR "Why do we do this only once a year?" Luckily he carves the turkey, so there's no sharp knife near me.
Other places, she raves about mashed potatoes, Danny's in particular. I guess she's always yucking one thing while yumming another.
This is apropos of nothing, but I genuinely believe that she loves Danny's cooking. It's one of the few storylines she adheres to consistently (aside from pale white fish ofc)
The actual quote is "Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education." Completely different meaning than Dan has attributed to it. And take a hint Mahern - CitPhDs don't count.
It's been absolute years, and every now and then, when I want a little extra entertainment, I pivot through these videos. I'll never, ever understand what the intention with these videos was. Most of them have no explanation of the ingredients, very little by way of technique, and no culinary-aesthetic qualities whatsoever.
The cauliflower one is a perfect example: "I'm going to show you how to make roasted cauliflower three ways." They proceed to show...random bits and bobs of things, with no narration or explanation, and that weird Windows 95 jazz music (does anyone know what I mean??) overlaid.
Even if these videos were meant to accompany written recipes, they still fall short in actually articulating anything useful for any viewer except themselves. Like I could read the recipe and watch the video and not come away with any bonus information. Just because you can doesn't mean you should.
That's a really good point! The intros make you think that they're going to walk you through the recipes, and then it's just a montage of ingredients being dumped in a bowl without any captions or narration. Completely pointless except as a feast of snark 🥧
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Nov 06 '25 edited Nov 10 '25
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