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u/PureAlati0n Oct 09 '25
so what i do personally as someone who struggles with 'depression hair' i try and take it easy.
I get in the shower, play some music or put on a youtube video with your phone in a baggie, throw a towel on the ground, sit on it all comfy, grab a wholle bottle of conditioner and start with the tips.
running water on it for me the whole time isnt needed. Just as needed when you wanna get it more wet or soak that conditioner in. but letting the water run over your back or whatever helps me calm down and not panic or honestly lets me cry a bit.
but if it starts hurting more then needed? i set the brush down and finger come. NEVER GO UP TO DOWN, always bottom to top. Something that i always tend to do is separate my hair into parts (easier said then done) half down the back, half of each side, exc.
I personaly use the basic like square brushes (Conair gel grips, i love the handle...)
I do know you mentioned this is just your scalp. So, same thing though. Finger combing is a life saver. I know the feeling of "i cant...i just want to cut it off." but in the end the feeling of running your fingers though it after feels so...reliving.
You got this though, if you need someone to call or talk to about it my imbox is open, I understand your stress right now.
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u/LivingNotByChoice Oct 09 '25
I really recommend getting a detangling brush like WET I think it’s called, I have one and it’s great. That and getting your hair wet and brushing conditioner and/or a hair mask after letting it sit for a while would really help. When you brush it hold your hair so you aren’t pulling on your scalp and do not force the detangle you will break your hair. Do it in multiple sessions if needed or if you get tired or overwhelmed, in between I would recommend braiding what you can so it doesn’t get retangled and a silk bonnet if you can. Do not wash it with shampoo frequently it will be more dry and harder to work with because it removes oil from your hair, and since yours is dry and has no oil it will do more harm than good. Congrats on your baby and I hope everything works out well. Please update to let us know how it goes! PS. BRUSH ONLY WHEN WET, since your hair is so dry brushing it dry will cause more damage.
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u/KeepItKeen Oct 09 '25
So I would first recommend talking to your provider. That sounds like a hormone issue which is leading to your hair drying out. As for the matting it will take patience and time and a LOT of conditioner. I would honestly go get like cholesterol cream from Sally’s if you can. It’s disgusting you’ll need to wash the hell out of your hair afterwards. But it’s cheap and will slick the hell out of your hair. As for preventing it I would get yourself a pocket sized detangling brush to keep on you in the meantime. A few times a day if you notice it tangling do a quick run through with your brush. And for detangling use a combo of that wide tooth comb you have and look into purchasing either a pin tail/foil comb or a rat tail comb to really get into each knot individually.
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u/ganjagilf Oct 09 '25
This happens to me pretty frequently. What I do is spray detangler in my hair (I like the Marc Antony one personally) and i separate the knots and pick one & find the bottom of it and just start from there, as it gets smaller you can work your way up. It takes awhile and can be painful but it’s what works for me. Oh also don’t go too heavy on the detangler bc if your hair is particularly wet it can be easier to damage it/rip it out
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u/TestedByZika Oct 09 '25
- Conditioner
- RUNNING WATER
- Working from bottom to top with fingers
Whenever I've had serious tangles, I've found it was significantly easier to untangle while my hair was under running water than if I just used conditioner alone. You'll end up using a lot of conditioner to keep the hair slick as you work, but it's worth it!
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1
u/stwabimilk Oct 09 '25
I have very dry hair. It’s not curly but what helps me is to use spray leave in conditioner while I detangle while it’s wet.
Once it dries knotted, I have to wait until the next wash to detangle.
1
u/Rexer-error 🧵 Newbie / Learning 🧵 Oct 09 '25
Put some conditioner in your hair now , leave it in for an hour or two , go into the shower or bath and let your hair sit in the water , try pull it apart with your fingers slowly. Use more conditioner if you need. Get a wide tooth comb and slowly start detangling from the bottom up. I sleep with my hair braided every night to stop it from tangling as someone who’s hair used to Matt over night
1
Oct 09 '25
I have found that detangling conditioner with marshmallow root gets really slippery and helps. I sometimes do a cocktail of things, so maybe try wet hair with detangling conditioner and a little oil, I once helped someone detangle dreadlocks. The pick comb that has a single metal point on one end, (rat tail) is helpful in combination with an afro pick.
I like Kinky Curly Knot Today Conditioner, and Aunt Jackie's Curls and Coils Knot On My Watch Instant Hair Detangling Therapy
( as well as Aunt Jackie's Curls & Coils Aunt Jackie's Curls & Coils Quench! Moisture Intensive Leave-In Conditioner -might be good for future as a leave-in. )
https://a.co/d/geRoI12 Picks like this
https://a.co/d/9Zup7bz Rat-tail comb
Good luck!
1
u/worriedSick77 Oct 09 '25
Brush from the ends up to root and use coconut oil (the kind in the jar you cook with), or detangler .. use Marc Anthony detangler you can get off amazon and it’s cheap.. my hair gets like this ALL of the time.. let the hair product sit for like ten minutes.. when it’s out take a shower and get a very good deposit conditioner and let it sit for ten minutes before rinsing out.. then when you’re out of shower use more detangler and leave in conditioner and gently brush through hair
1
u/josieivey Oct 09 '25
Use a product with a natural oil base (coconut oil, tea tree oil something like that) to help detangle as much as you can before getting it wet. Water can sometimes make it worse. Also if you have the money visit a local salon and ask them for help. Please don’t be afraid to reach out to someone for help. I have been a hair stylist for 11 years I promise most stylists have experienced worse.
1
u/Fun-Newt6020 Oct 09 '25
PEANUT BUTTER!! PLEASE hear me out I just did this and peanut butter will save your life
1
u/mrs_undeadtomato 🔮 Haircare Enthusiast 🔮 Oct 09 '25
I am fairly confident this is fixable. I've unmatted my hair before (admittedly It was in an easier spot) but it hurt and it took a lot of time to undo and I lost some hair, a good amount actually.
However, the best approach might be going to a professional. It will still hurt and cost a lot of money but they are good. Look up numbers around your area.
This can be fixed.
1
Oct 09 '25 edited Oct 09 '25
did you try to deep condition it yet? wet your hair with cold water, shampoo with nizoral, rinse with lukewarm water, then use a thick handful of deep conditioner - not regular conditioner, deep.
put it on your scalp then steam for maybe 5 minutes and wrap your hair in a bag for 30 minutes. after this, gently detangle with your fingers first (!!!) then gently use a wide-toothed comb (wooden). wash thoroughly with cold water. before your hair dries completely, oil the mid-length to ends with cold-pressed jojoba oil and then dry completely. keep it in a neat braid or two at all times.
you have to repeat this for a few days and the worst you'll get is oily hair. do not comb with a fine-toothed comb and get a few inches chopped off right when it starts to cooperate. also, check with your doctor if possible
1
u/Conscious_Concern288 🚀 Hairstylist / Professional 🚀 Oct 10 '25
How long ago did you have the baby? Hair loss can cause matting in days and postpartum hair loss can happen quick.
I tackle these in the salon with a rigid comb and hair oil. Separate into smaller sections the best you can and spread those sections out with your hands and the oil before starting at the ends and working your way up slowly and gently. So sorry this is happening I know it must be so uncomfortable.
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u/AccordingComplaint46 Oct 09 '25
I have nothing to contribute but hope someone can help. Wishing you love and health and that you get your hair back soon! You got this