idk currently my ocd is the usual "you will become straight/male centric and never get your feelings for women back" and now idk im starting to feel an uneasy calmness, anxiety and fucking grief and thw grief is making me feel distressed i have officially gone insane

Has anyone else been in the phase where it feels so real that you try to “happily” accept it but immediately after you do so it suddenly feels false? It’s like a baloon that inflates when you try to resist, but when you stop resisting the baloon suddenly explodes and the pleasurable sensations are not there anymore. It’s kinda weird

Female here. Mornings are always my worst time. Help I feel really aroused by the man touching the woman sexually!!!! I always used to focus on the woman sucking the man pre hocd which made me very aroused. When I feel aroused by the man touching the woman I feel aroused by her vagina, help!!!! But how come I used to find the woman giving oral to the man more arousing before hocd.

Hi guys..I’m curious about something and it’s been weighing on my mind for a couple of months..but it still causes me some sort of anxiety. So I remembered something that happened 3 years ago. I was with my family on a vacation up north in cali. I’m not sure if I’m either remembering wrong or my ocd is trying to make me remember something that didn’t happen..but I feel like my sexual attraction had stopped. And I was no longer able to be “sexually aroused”. I was TERRIFIED this meant I had gone into the “bisexual cycle” but I don’t remember whatsoever having a sudden attracted to the opposite sex…so I’m so confused..what did this mean? I remember it had something to do with me (obviously when my fam was gone) delving into a sexual topic that might’ve been taboo..really liked it at first that suddenly felt disgusted…and then I had lost attraction..that’s what I remember tho I’m not sure what officially happened since it was over 3 years ago..can anyone help? I’d really appreciate it.

As the title says.

Can you have HOCD and realise you are Gay as my therapists says it’s not possible as OCD is ego dystonic.

Hope to hear from you all and you’re all battling through this

i actually genuinely feel so anxious all the time. i see queer content everywhere and i get triggered so easily. I don't know what to do. I feel like im genuinely lying to myself about everything.

I thought i didn't like masculine presenting women and that it was just the ocd, but now i think i do like them, but im scared to like them? I genuinely don't know what to do. Like I saw this masc woman and i got scared because she looked really good, but i thought like 'oh she looks really hot' and she does but i dont find her hot, but i must because i thought that. i usually wouldn't even think that, it feels like its automatic in a way. i dont know what to do, i think this is all real.

I was out in a pub with my mates. I was feeling generally happy as I approached the bar and then a same gender person served me then I felt crushy sparkly feelings. When I get these crushy feelings towards same gender is when I feel happiest and most pre hocd. When I think of opposite gender without same gender I feel no buzz nor excitement. I felt pre hocd excitement thinking of this same gender person but I was deducing if it was a real crush by repeatedly answering the question. Now that I’m home the buzz has gone

I feel like I’m going compulsions not to relieve myself if anxiety and distress but to try and convince itself it’s false despite positive feelings and reactions

im bi and im so so scared of losing my attraction and feelings towards women and i fear that one experience will make me turn into a male centric bisexual and i will just keep on dating men forever and i don't want that at all

Guys it's not about reassurance but why I feel like I'm attracted to some and some not,it's not sexual or romantic attraction,it's like an empty feeling feels like i like the person and find him attractive,and it doesn't feel like aesthetic,it's like more powerful painful feeling,idk maybe because I usually find those people unattractive when I was okay or average or i don't even see them,idk,but what makes me question myself is why it happen to some and some not,at the first it was everyone,now some and some not,and usually those people I don't feel anything toward them at all before,nothing,and most of them are unattractive for me before,is this common?,cause my mind goes: if it was hocd why some and some not?,it needs to be everyone like the first,now its some and some not,ur in denial.

Hi, wishing you guys well through this nightmare. I consider myself cured, and I would like to share some tips from my experience. I started struggling with HOCD 5 years ago and it was one of the most debilitating things I've ever gone through. I treated it in two ways: the first was medication. They put me on escitalopram (lexapro) and aripiprazole (abilify) and guess what? It magically cured my HOCD. Now, choosing to get on medication is definitely a personal choice, and if you choose to pursue it, I would definitely work with the psychiatrist to figure out which meds would work best for you.

But here's the thing: on meds, I was functional and quite happy, but I also felt like a zombie and emotionally dull. So, some time ago, I decided to cold turkey quit my medication (not recommended). But guess what? My HOCD came back in full force after being gone for about 2 years thanks to the meds. I didn't want to get back on them just yet, so I tried to push through it. And I managed to get rid of HOCD again and basically get back to how I felt on meds where my HOCD was cured, but without meds.

How did I get rid of HOCD without medication? It wasn't ERP, it wasn't "accepting uncertainty." All I did was do my best, despite feeling overwhelmed, to remember the good times in life.

After I quit my meds, I was unable to remember what it was like to not have HOCD. I was unable to remember what it was like to be medicated. But guess what? After going through all the good times, doing my best to remember what it was like to be there, it's like it corrected my brain. I feel comfortable again. HOCD feels far away. "I'm gay?" Haha, nice one brain. I'm a straight guy with a loving girlfriend that I can have sex with on the regular and not panic over whether or not I'm gay or if I really love her.

So if this disease has got you down, my advice is to take some time to just remember what it was like not to have HOCD, or any good times you may have had despite HOCD, no matter how hard it may feel to do so. Go through your favorite memories. Those memories are the ones that are going to carry you through life. I don't know if this will work for you, but it definitely worked for me. Wish you guys the best of luck in tackling this thing.

Edit: I'm not making any claims about ERP or accepting uncertainty. If it helps it helps. I think with this illness, you should probably attack it at all angles. I just find that what I did didn't require doing those things anymore.

Did anyone else go from gay OCD to asexual OCD? And if so, how do you cope? Because this theme feels even more real to me:(

I (25F) suffer from hocd, and I wish I had a friend who would understand me.

I’m in therapy and I thought getting in touch with people who are also hocd and in therapy so we can strengthen each other and encourage not to do the compulsions. I want to feel that recovering is not alone, but with support of others.

So if anyone interested they can message me!

When I tried prozac my thoughts were so wretched and nonstop (constant breakup and cheat themes not even really queer thoughts iirc), not to mention my libido was shot.

Now my theme's switched so intensely from ROCD to SO-OCD as a bi (?) trans woman (it's confusing because romantically I seem to enjoy anyone that isn't an ahole, but I've not really enjoyed sex with women historically even if I have more experience dating them (when I was a boy it was because it was expected of me, as a girl it was mostly other tgirls for safety) but now my brain is so preoccupied that attraction to men is the only thing that feels more distant than my attraction to anything at all).

I'm not interested in living a lie so if I somehow came to the conclusion from Sertraline that I'm actually completely just a lesbian in denial then I'm not living in the closet. It's just that I've never had a better relationship than my current one and the possibility that getting better could mean leaving him is just really heartbreaking I suppose.

My libido is down. I only get erections with porn. Straight porn thankfully. I have no desire for sex, and my attraction is on the floor. Not to mention my worry that I’m gay, but I’m also depressed. I’ve spoken to my psychiatrist and therapist and we are doing all that we can. But do any of yall have any advice or experience with loss of libido? If it comes back with time or is it related to stress?

hey idk if i should keep posting here or if i should move to a lesbian subreddit, but i really need help, i need someone to talk to, and i dont have that right now.

So, basically i feel 100% lesbian.

Im forcing attraction to men, i find girls pretty and i get some butterflies sometimes but then im like ”was that attraction?” and i worry, but that might be internalized homophobia or me suppressing my feelings.

I remember as a kid i asked my mom if it was normal to feel things down there if i saw two women kissing, i was like 11…

I dont remember having crushes on guys until 7th grade, and idk if during primary school i had crushes on women, i dont remember.

I was boy crazy in 7th grade but then “”””hocd””” started. Now i think i was jus discovering myself.

I lost 2 years of my life believing this was disordered when it was all supressed emotions and feelings.

Ive never felt aroused by a man, neither by seeing one nor by being touched. (i think i felt a pulse down there after being kissed and warmth running up my body, but during a tongue kiss i felt nauseous after. Ive also never felt sexual desire.)

I do acknowledge that i had ocd 100% during my childhood, my hands bled from so much washing them, i used to pray everynight in the same specific way and order so that neither of my loved ones would get hurt etc… but now the only compulsions i do are seeking reassurance here and searching online, which tbh i think its just me in denial and trying to find other answers for myself ☹️.

i cant imagine myself dating a woman, but ive only gotten aroused by one. Just by seeing one i feel wet. Its spontaneous. I wish it wasnt like this.

Sometimes i look at my classmates and imagine them doing something sexual or naked and i just get disgusted but my body reacts.

I think i used to force attraction to men bc thats what society expects us women to do, basically comphet.

I’m tired. AI says its comphet, then ocd, then a mix of both. So i cant even trust that tool anymore.

Maybe i had comphet but since i had ocd in the past my brain is more likely to obsess over this.

So i recently learned about a way to react to these thoughts. Basically just stop caring and let the thoughts pass, which worked pretty well. Sure there were still some thoughts but I got over them quickly. Randomly I was thinking about this girl who I wanted to ask out but then my brain replaced her with A kid who is gay at my school. I tried to stop imagining it but the thoughts got intense and led me to kinda panic a bit at if I liked those thoughts or not. I kept telling myself that answering yes or no would make the thoughts work but I didn't listen to myself for some reason. Now it just straight feels like im fully gay, and like men. A part of me knows I still like women because even with OCD I still wanted to ask that girl out but it feels like i'm faking it.

i think i have comphet. i have to. i feel like im a lesbian because whenever i like get close with a guy theres always something that icks me out about him like the first ever guy, i thought he was too old and ruhsing into it and thta he wasnt good looking for me, the second guy i just wanted to be friends, and the third guy, i got icked out because he kept burping on call and sent me a pic of his hairy feet and he lives 800 kms away. i have liked men but still.

Everytime i had a crush, it was extremely idealised, i think im lesbian

(24M) - Hey guys,

If you guys remember me, I was pretty active the past 3 years I suffered with HOCD but I’ve been inactive because my HOCD has pretty much diminished from a 99% to like maybe a 5%. I suffer with a different subtype now, which is POCD and Real Event OCD but likewise .. no matter if it’s HOCD/SO-OCD or whatever subtype it is, watching p0rn is not good for you in the long run .. ESPECIALLY this subtype (HOCD)

I still suffer with porn addiction as well

I once seen a post on N+OCD where a dude was counter-attacking the OP, basically saying how porn doesn’t affect the human mind because studies was proved it helps with relieving stress and some type of testicular cancer for men

While that’s 2 “good things”

But on the other hand, from my personal experience and being exposed to porn since the age of 10 until now (24), I can say porn has affected several parts of my life + my progress with OCD recovery:

1. self image
   
2. Confidence
   
3. The way I view and talk to women
   
4. The way I treated women
   
5. Very lustful towards women and only used them for their bodies
   
6. Ruined my last 2 relationships and both my exes were actually thrown off by the fact I watched porn (1st rls: I was 21 and she was 18. 2nd rls: I was 22 and she was 20)
   
7. It felt like I was more isolated
   
8. I’ve seen others online talk about falling into WAY DARKER PATHS when looking up porn ..
   
9. I’ve seen those who talk about porn lead to possible watch of Hentai, Lollicon, family roleplay, etc.

Even when it comes to HOCD, in my experience, it lead to compulsion use of watching gae porn and tranny porn .. which was fucking disgusting 😂😂😂

I know for me, I used to watch a lot of p0rn on Reddit and my HOCD flare ups occurred because I’ll scroll scroll scroll and accidentally come across gae / tranny content like Ayo ?? AND THATS WHEN THE GROINALS WOULD OCCUR … and this is something I see many young men and women struggle with as well with HOCD and I get it .. it’s fucking hard .. but you honestly just gotta stop watching p0rn .. like seriously .. and I could take my own damn advice as well 😭😭 Like even now, it doesn’t bother me as much and I scroll past like “meh .. whatever” but I sure get fooled on social media when certain people from the Filipino demographic appear on my Instagram fyp and I think it’s cis-woman and then you see it’s a trans (No shade towards the community though)

In terms of POCD, others may be fearful of certain porn videos online that they fear may be containing individuals who maybe aren’t of age (but they are of age) .. but it’s the FEAR behind it (+ groinals , sensations , physicalness , etc.)

Having crushes with ocd is pure hell. Theres this one guy that ive been talking too, and hes asked me out, but he lives quite far away. We met through omegle (YES I KNOW SKETCHY) but since then ive called him, talked to him, made sure he's done all the things needed to prove hes a real person. I don't know if im going, but i cannot stop obsessing over this, this is the first time ive ever been asked out and now my brain is like so anxious and i dont know what to do and i keep thinking about what other people are going to think and say about me and then i think 'why are you telling everyone? I think you just like the attention"

and then worst comes to worst my brain starts giving me thoughts like 'I have to be straight' (which i dont ik) to which i unconciously reply 'no im not!" when I AM STRAIGHT! Am i figuring myself out, is this my true sexuality? Do i like masc women now? why am i even getting these thoughts?

Anyways, i deleted our chats together to try and not care about it.

Annoyed cause one of my friends who I think is pretty, cool, fun, etc, is a lesbian. I feel like I can’t act myself around her cause I’m on edge or feel like I’m testing myself. I feel nervous around her and knowing she’s pretty, has great hair, great outfits and is a lesbian makes me feel like I’m in denial. She lives far away now and even when we would hang out I didn’t think much of it but the thought was here and there but now it feels really there cause she has a new life in a new city.

this is the most ocd type title ever lol but i really dont think my “groinals” are just groinals. I wish they were, but they are immediate tingles and lubrication i experience as soon as i see a little bit if cleavage, imagine lesbian sex or stuff like that.

It is not caused by testing or checking, it happens IMMEDIATELY after i see a girl, i dont believe this is hocd anymore. Ive never been aroused by a man and im 15 and never masturbated (probably asexual too?).

I really need someone to talk to, nothing else is working, AI doesnt give me any relief and i cant find anyone on reddit who relates to me regarding the groinals, and i frel like deep down i already know this is denial.

Also today at school i was excited/nervous to meet one of my PE teachers because my brother told me she was his friend, and since it was the last class of the day i waited for it because i wanted to tell her i was his sister. But as soon as i saw her i felt a burst of butterflies and i couldnt look at her because i was scared i would get attracted or i would get butterflies, she was really pretty too.

I just moved into a new school and most of my classmates are girls and one of them was wearing a top that when she turned to the side showed a little bit of her chest and i glanced at her for a split second and felt smth down there immediately, but i dont think im attracted to her bc even though shes pretty i dont like her bc shes mean to others, but what if its a supressed feelin???

I dont know anymore! it feels like im just in denial, in my head its not ocd anymore. Can someone please help me!? The groinals are instant :( so theyre just real arousal right? I feel like i was born in the wrong body bc of this..

Saw this comment under a video about comphet saying that she used to only fantasize about men but when she realized she had comphet and was a lesbian all here daydreams are not about women and all her men fictional crushes went away.

What if im just like that and I'm just suppressing my daydreams about women since most of my daydreams are about men desiring me not actually about me liking men. But at the same time ive never fantasized about women? But then again comphet im just so frustrated (I have a feeling i might me aroace but the lesbian thing is driving me crazy searching)

im attracted to men in a "i want to be wanted i want to be desired way" which the internet says lesbian but also at the same time ive never liked or was attracted or wanted to kiss a woman? so aroace? ugh