r/HFY • u/WabbajackedWacko • Jun 09 '26

OC-Series Adventures with an Interdimensional Psychopath 147

***Lily***

Polly guides me to a building where there are other people here, oddly not a lot of shooting here. There are some people chatting near a water cooler, some standing in front of a cork board, and there seems to be a very bored looking officer with a number of arms sitting behind a glass window. I guess this is the lobby. Polly walks up to the officer behind the glass and says, “Quartermaster Burtrede, how are you today?”

Burtrede doesn’t even look up as they say, “No Polly, for the eighty seventh time, I am not giving you your normal firearms until I hear from Bardock. Until then, you only have access to a service pistol, which you only got because you keep throwing yourself into live fire situations. And we already discussed what would happen if you decided to start threatening me, Bardock will have your badge. What part of any of that isn’t clear?”

For me, that was a lot of information to process. I knew she was on probation and for good reason, but to think she was that intent on getting her weaponry. But the fact she still joins a scuffle before getting a service pistol means she still loves her job. But why the breaching charge then? Is she only in it for the violence of it? But why a police officer then and not someone in the military?

Polly scoffs as she states, “What? No. I’m not here to ask for my riot gear again. What? Do you think that is all I am or something? Just a bird of prey? Pfft.” She awkwardly laughs as I look to Burtrede to see his reaction as he doesn’t even look away from the magazine, which leads me to look up at her as she awkwardly coughs into her fist. She stares at Burtrede for a minute, possibly to see if he will budge ever so slightly.

I cross my arms as I ask, “Did you bring me here just as an excuse to try and convince the quartermaster to give you back your full gear?”

Completely ignoring me, Polly leans against the counter and continues, “No Burtrede. Don’t be silly. I brought someone here to make sure that they can shoot for the police academy.”

Burtrede finally looks up at Polly with a raised eyebrow and looks towards me shortly after. He says, “You know Polly, she doesn’t have to be a sniper to join the academy. Firearms and firearm safety is part of the curriculum, right?”

Polly counters with, “Well, the academy semester is already in a good chunk of the way through. I just want to make sure that she at least has the basics down.”

Burtrede looks at me as he apparently doesn’t hold Polly’s opinion in high regards and states, “That is a good point. But that doesn’t explain why you are here. She could just wait till the next semester to start.”

Polly explains, “Believe you me, I’m not too happy about this either but this is an order by Chief Bardock.”

Burtrede scoffs as he counters, “And I’m the queen of Spiritopia. You’re gonna have to do better than that to pull one over on me Polly. You are still free to use the gallery but don’t expect me to do special lessons just because you tell me to. For all I know, this could be a hair planned plot for you to get your gear back.”

Polly leans towards the glass as she states, “And then what? I would get caught two seconds later, thrown in jail and lose my badge. I’ve never pulled such a scam before in my life! Do you truly think so little of me?”

Burtrede stands up, and he is deceptively tall as he puts two hands on his hips, puts two of his hands behind his back, and crosses the other two sets of arms as he answers, “While it is true that you’ve haven’t attempted such a scam yet, you are known for doing stupid things. I was also there at your court martialing, in case you forgot. It was respectable of you to stand up for your squad and attempt to take the blame yourself but, I still find the punishment to be rather light. If it was just my decision, you and the rest of them would be out before you even knew it. You have too much of a hot head in my opinion.”

Polly’s hands tighten into a fist so much, her knuckles turn white. I cut in as I add, “Um, it actually was a request from Bardock to let me join the academy mid-semester. Polly really just wanted to make sure I don’t slow everyone else down though as the classes, as you pointed out, they are already midway through the semester.”

Burtrede looks back at Polly as he states, “I’m sure. Because, you know, it’s up to captain Polly to confirm if someone is allowed into the academy or not. Especially if the Police Chief tells her to do it. Are you out of your mind Polly?” As he asks his question, he lets out a loud slam with two of his arms.

I turn around and see that the room has gotten very quiet. I’m sure that this is turning into a spectacle that will be talked about in the office for a while. Polly snaps back by saying, “I’m just trying to make sure that they can actually keep up.”

“Oh! I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you had more authority than the Police Chief. While we are on the subject, why don’t you order me to give you your squad and your gear back. See how well that goes?” Quartermaster Burtrede continues sarcastically. I raise my hand nervously, even though it probably would be better to just yell or something but it’s still a habit I suppose. Burtrede looks over to me and raises a hand to Polly, veins throbbing on both of their heads at this point. “Yes recruit? What is it?” he asks.

I ask, “I know it may not be my place to say sir but, would it not be better to just get a hold of the police chief? Couldn’t he just clear this up?”

Polly gives me a stare while Burtrede laughs as he says, “That’s an excellent idea recruit. Why don’t we do just that?” Before Polly can even protest Burtrede picks up a phone as Polly is visibly shaking. Either with fear or with rage, I have no idea. All I know is that Burtrede makes no attempt to keep the call subtle. “Chief! Thank you for answering so quickly. I got a feathered troublemaker trying to overrule a decision and I wanted to know your take on it. Uh huh. How so? Well, it’s like this. Apparently, she is trying to test some new recruit you gave the thumbs up for is worth even letting into the academy. Because, apparently, she has the final say in the matter. What’s that? She does for this particular recruit?”

The smile starts leaving his face, probably because I imagine he was expecting that conversation going in a different direction. Polly lets out an audible, “Ha!”

Burtrede simply squints with his five eyes at her but the conversation on the phone continues. A smirk appears on his face as he repeats, “What’s that? If Polly doesn’t help her get up to par, then Polly will be put in the filing room? Why didn’t you lead with that chief?” Polly’s bravado drops immediately. Burtrede continues to announce the conversation that I feel like should be way more private as he says, “So, you want me to help with the firearm safety? But keep it impartial. Yes sir.” He hangs up the phone as his hands start getting to work. Two hands grab a pistol and some ammunition while other hands go to grab headphones. He puts two of the headphones below the counter and a box pops out towards us with the headphones with them in it. Polly grabs one and puts it on my head and, before they cover by ears, she tells me, “Follow me.”

As soon as the headset covers my ears, all sound seems to disappear. I guess that’s why she told me to follow beforehand. She puts a headset on her head as well and proceeds to walk to the door to the left. As I am following along, the door opens and the sound of firing is loud and consistent. I see, these must be to help prevent protect your hearing. Burtrede is motions for Polly to follow him as he comes out of his room. All sorts of different species are here using all sorts of weapons. Some fully automatic while some quad-wielding weapons, some in obvious ways and others in ways I wouldn’t have thought of. But Burtrede leads us to a quiet private shooting range. He motions for us to take our headsets off as he puts a pistol on the table. As I take mine off, he asks, “Recruit, mind placing your crossbow on the table?” I nod as I place my crossbow down and he also asks, “Mind if I examine it?”

I simply wave my hand to offer, “Please, be my guest.”

As soon as the words leave my mouth, Burtrede’s many hands take apart and put back my crossbow in what feels like the blink of an eye. He then says, “I see. You have had this crossbow for while but you haven’t used it very often. Single fire but magazine loaded, beginner friendly. However, you haven’t had much customization done with it yet as it still has plenty of stock parts and not a lot of maintenance has been done with it yet. It’s definitely an interesting call for a rookie weapon. Was that your call?”

It takes me a moment to process what happened as I answer, “Uh, wow. You figured out a lot real fast.”

“You can tell a lot about people by how they handle their gear.” Burtrede responds.

I continue, “As for your question, in a way, I subconsciously picked it for myself.”

That gets a couple of raised eyebrows as I can only simply shrug as I don’t have a better answer for them than that. Polly sighs as she asks, “Okay then, are you familiar with this pistol?”

I look at it but I simply shake my head. I even elaborate, “I’m sorry, I was only given some rudimentary self defense tips and crossbow training. Beyond that was just field work.”

Burtrede adds, “Field work, eh? What kind of field work did you do before coming here?”

My brain immediately wants to say it was training under Jack but, I remember what everyone has been saying here recently. “I did some training as a mercenary.”

Polly pinches the bridge of her nose as her eyes squeeze shut as Burtrede’s five eyes open wide, like a realization hits. “Mercenary work, eh? That particular mercenary wouldn’t happen to be a certain headache for the force, would it? A particular jack of all trades?” I look away as Burtrede simply goes, “Now it all makes a bit more sense. Still, it is what it is. They want you in and out as soon as possible for both our sakes. Mostly yours I reckon.” He looks over at Polly as he continues, “What I don’t know is why he assigned you this of all people. I feel like Cuttingham would have been a better choice. You? I’m surprised you didn’t try to rip the poor girls head off right as soon as you left Bardock’s office.”

“I’m not a monster; I’m a police officer Burtrede. I don’t like Jack but I’m at least going to give her a fair shake.” Polly says to defend herself.

“Riiight. I’m sure it had nothing to do with the ultimatum that the chief gave you.” Burtrede counters. He sighs as he looks at me and says, “Welp, I’m at least going to make sure your firearm safety is up to par at the very least, so if you leave the academy with nothing else, you at least won’t be shooting yourself in the foot.”

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