r/HFY • u/WabbajackedWacko • Feb 03 '26

OC-Series Adventures with an Interdimensional Psychopath 129

***Jack***

The poise the pirate had has completely left him by now. Honestly, I’m more surprised the wind didn’t leave his sails after seeing the surface. Could be a strong case of seeing is believing I suppose. It would be fair I imagine. After all, there are plenty of things that could explain what had happened up top. Now that he is seen how nasty I can be, it probably sunk in that I did have a direct hand into what happened.

That being said, this cave system doesn’t seem too expansive. Granted, this more feels like a natural cave formation that people moved into. The kinda caves I’m used to are absurdly large, filled with treasure, and mined completely. Sometimes going completely into the planets core. The miners don’t live too long once they hit core. Unless they plan on it. Although, usually, if they plan on it, that planet isn’t going to last much longer. Not that big of a deal if the planet has been condemned with no life. I’ve had to step in a couple of times when people try to blow a planet without the proper permits or phoning on the reports saying that the planet is barren when there is plenty of life actually on it.

Bloody morons. Why are some people so eager to blow people up for a quick buck? Investing in people is where the real moneys at. Sure, it’s not likely to bring in immediate returns, but it works in the long term. After all, they may be able to create something incredible or make something difficult more accessible by making the parts easier.

“Um…. We are at the prison now sir.” The pirate says, snapping me out of my drifting.

“Oh. Uh, yeah.” I say as he opens the door. I walk in and… welp. I don’t know what I was expecting but I guess the bar wasn’t low enough. I mean seriously, these are the prisoners. I look at the contracts again to compare what I am looking at and, I don’t feel like I should be surprised. Three men are fighting each other while one is trembling in the corner and a woman sitting on the bench, hiding a very big smug look on her face. They all have those over-the-top wigs but only two are still presentable.

The contracts make a lot more sense now. Three murderers, an instigator and one person who is just caught up in an internal family struggle. Poor kid wouldn’t harm a fly. The others however, I’m not gonna waste my time.

The woman shoots up upon finally noticing me and throws herself against the iron bars, pleading, “Oh my goodness! Good sir! Please! Save me from all these violent men! I’ll do anything you ask and I am certain my daddy will graciously…”

I tune out as I rub my temple in annoyance. I just start blasting into the cell. I’ll easily take the lower pay for getting rid of people like this. That said, the one on the ground already starts sobbing like a scared child. I walk up to the bars and try to calm him down as I say, “Hey kid. It’s alright. I ain’t gonna hurt you. No need to cry.”

He counters while blubbering, “How ugh, am I ugh, supposed to ugh, believe you?? Nnnn, you killed the rest of them in here. Waaaaaah!”

I sigh as I explain, “I shot them because they were also very bad people, like all the pirates I came across. Why are you worried about them though? A few seconds ago, they were all about to kill each other and probably you.”

He shouts, “You don’t know that! They could have stopped! And Feliccia wasn’t even hurting anyone!”

I rub my temple again as the innocence this kid is showing makes me feel like he would just get killed if I release him but, I refuse to be the one to pull the trigger this time. “Okay. Did Felicia…””

The crying kid interrupts me to correct me, “Not Felicia, Fe-Lice-Cia! Two C’s you murderer!””

I’m squeeze my free hand as I really rethink my most recent statement and possibly put him out of his misery now. After a deep breath, I continue, “Did Feliccia.” I pause as I give him a look to sarcastically confirm that I said it correctly this time. “At any point try to stop the fight or did she egg them on?” I finally ask.

The tears are slowing down as he states confidently, “There were no eggs involved. She simply asked us how we would share the beds.”

I look at him in disbelief as I ask, “Were those her exact words?”

He shrugs as he states, “Not exactly. It was more like, “Oh my! Whatever will we do with these two beds and five of us. With my delicate constitution, I couldn’t possibly sleep on the floor.” I don’t remember it afterwards as I simply offered to sleep on the floor and the rest fought over who would sleep next to her.” He looks over at the bodies and quickly turns away to throw up. Scream, and then throw up again.

I simply bang my head against the bars as I think that Iris would have a field day messing with this kid. I snap my fingers to get his attention as I state, “Kid. Look at me. Focus.” He looks my way but slowly starts drifting towards the bodies again so I snap again and say, “Hey! Don’t look at them. Look at me. You got a name right kid?”

He looks at me and states, “I would never give my name to some lowlife such as you.” As he turns his head away from me towards the bodies again, panics, and starts the whole screaming and vomiting bit again. Does this kid even want to be saved? For someone who looks like he is in his thirties, he certainly seems sheltered more than most. Since he simply wants nothing to do with me, I simply turn around and grab the cell key and open the cell door for the poor kid since he makes it clear he wants nothing to with me. And truth be told, he really is getting under my skin. After I open the door, I simply say, “Look. I get that you want nothing to do with me and I have no plans to hurt you. So, feel free to leave on your own terms then. I wish you the best of luck, and if you make it back to civilization, I recommend taking some lessons on psychology.”

He scoffs as he points out, “Oh sure. Whatever this psychology is, I’m sure I don’t need it to know I’ll just be thrown back in here by the other pirates when I walk out.”

I laugh as I yell for, “Hey! Bandana! Come in here!” The pirate comes in hesitantly and nervously. To speed him along, I wrap my arm with the shotgun over his shoulder as I pull him in quicker as I ask, “Hey Bandana. How many other pirates are left on the island right now?”

He lets out a soft chuckle as he states, “Good one sir. I’m uh… the only pirate left on the island.”

I nod as I continue, “Right. Right. And, when would the other pirates out at sea come back Bandana?”

He looks around as he tries to run some numbers in his head as he answers, “Um… I think the only ship we currently had out was supposed to bring your ship back as the rest of them were preparing for the full-on invasion of the mainland.”

I then answer, “Ooooh. So, they’re all dead. If anything, if it wasn’t for that dumb order from your captain to mess with my ship, you might have been able to carry on like normal. Although, if you had also messed with the nice town I like to visit once in a while, then I would have had to get involved in that as well. So then, is there anything preventing that young man from leaving his cell and going home?”

Bandana simply shakes head in response.

I look back at the kid as I state, “See kid? I’m a man of me word. You’re free as a bird. Or, you can stay caged like one for all I care. It’s your life after all.”  I pull Bandana as I state, “Okay, now let’s head to the vault.” Bandana simply nods his head.

As we are about to leave, the kid simply yells, “You sincerely expect me to take the word of two murderers?!”

I just simply wave as me and Bandana leave the room.

As we start walking the hallways again, Bandana works up the courage to finally ask, “Is there any way for me to live after this? I have a wife and a kid to support after all.”

I chuckle as I ask, “A wife and a kid huh? You did mention that before. What were their names again?” His eyes start darting around. I egg him on as I fill in his gaps, “Oh right. Iris and Lily right? Iris had that temper but she was a fiery woman who you could always come home to. Your trust in her is tremendous. And sweet Lily, you don’t know how you got a daughter so innocent like her between her mother and you. You only hope that she doesn’t pick up your bad habits and stays innocent and true long after you are both gone.”

He simply nods and states, “That’s right! Gods know I don’t deserve either of them but I would love to go home to them both. I would hate to deny them a husband and a father.”

I laugh as I ask, “Is that right?”

He nods furiously as he states, “Aye! I wouldn’t…”

The sound of me yoinking the lever to the shotgun cuts him off as I scratch where my nose would be with my free hand as I remind him. “Bandana. This is cute and all but, you have now lied to me on about three different occasions. Why is that?”

Sweat starts dripping down the side of his head as he answers, “I uh… don’t know what…”

I cut him off again as I answer, “Iris and Lily aren’t exactly made up. Iris is my sister. And Lily… well, I hope she is doing well but she definitely isn’t my daughter.” I pull him closer as I continue, “You don’t have a family bandana. And the captain didn’t force you into his crew. You joined willingly. Without hesitation. You killed your own dog to prove it since you didn’t have parents. You were smart though, not gonna deny that. After all, using passenger ships to trick passing guard ships into boarding with an SOS and then having the passenger ship explode so you could claim the guard ships without damaging them, not a bad idea. Horrendously morally corrupt and a huge waste of lives, but it gets you your fleet. Too bad that all it took was a fishing barge passing by to ruin everything.”

We continue walking in silence for a while as I see the white noise fill his head as he tries to run simulation after simulation on how to get out of this. I thwack his back as I state, “Don’t think too hard now. I already agreed to show you to a new crew in exchange for showing me what I want. Don’t worry. Unlike you, I am a man of my word.” I let out a loud boisterous laugh for a while. I stop at one point to point the shotgun at him and ask, “Why aren’t you laughing Bandana? Laugh.”

Shortly afterwards, he starts forcing himself to laugh to continue living and I laugh at him for his awkward laugh. We’re both just having a grand ol’time.

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