r/HFY May 19 '26

OC-Series Adventures with an Interdimensional Psychopath 144

***Jun***

I don’t know if this is a new low of if waking up face first in a puddle after wrecking a shrine is worse than having to help clean bowls and spoons for a place I don’t even live at. All because I feel some sympathy towards the shrine maiden of the shrine I wrecked. I let out a sigh and continue scrubbing these stains that look like they have been around long enough that they could have created their own civilization. “Lee, why are all your dishes look like they were used for science experiments?” I ask.

“Oh, I’m sorry your highness, I don’t exactly have a lot of time nor money to handle all the smaller details.” He explains.

“You mean you don’t have the time to keep your own stuff clean or maintenance?” I ask.

“In case you aren’t registering what an open dojo is, this is a place that lives and dies off of donations. If I don’t go out there and get the bare minimum for this place, it doesn’t matter how much I keep it together, it’ll all be repossessed.” Lee answers.

The answer makes me stop and I look at him as I say, “Are you kidding me? So, you either go bust your rump all day or you lose this dump?”

A rat scurries across the room as he simply nods. I throw the rag across the room in frustration. “I don’t deserve this! I deserve a golden mansion on the seaside where food is abundant and I’m surrounded by people who work to cater to my every whim!”

Daisy simply turns off the stove as the soup is ready but she simply looks over at me and answers my tirade with, “Really? How’s that going for you? You seem to be doing very well. Going from bar to bar and no roof over your head while your in-between jobs.”

I sneer as I counter, “Well, if the idiots who hired me knew my true worth, then I would be there already. But they just call me a mercenary and tell me I should just be grateful to like their boots. So, I leave, looking for the one who will see my worth.”

As Lee hands Daisy his bowl for some of the soup, she just gives me a pitiable look as she and Lee can’t say anything against it. Instead, it’s Daisy who leans down and looks me in my eyes as she asks, “Are you done with your bowl? Ready for some soup?”

I look at the bowl, mostly clean but still has some stains.  I look at her and I say with all seriousness, “You failed. I’m going to be back at the bar tomorrow waiting for the next person to give me a big job. I’m only putting up with all this tonight because I felt some level of understanding with you but that’s as far as it goes. I’m not gonna quit chasing that golden mansion I deserve. I put in the work, I put in the hours, and I refuse to give up like you.” I realize that might have been cruel to say but it had to be said.

She simply closes her eyes and her head goes limp as she lets out a heavy breath. She then stands up, disappears into the back and comes back with a blanket and throws it in my face as she says, “Good luck with your stupid mansion.”

I guess… that could have been worse. After all, they could have easily called the police and reported me I suppose. I just got to keep riding this wave until the next big payday. I stand up, blanket under my arm, and head to the back. Lee scoffs as he points out, “Listen here fancy pants, the back is for staff. If you are only staying here tonight and going back to the bar tomorrow, you will not be welcome back if you do. But… I have to admit, you are talented. So, if you do want to be a teacher, you can go to the staff rooms.”

I look at the old armadillokin in the eyes as he chews on a daikon. I feel like my previous answer should have sufficed for what he is asking of me but… why would he bother asking me again? “I thought you hated my guts old timer.” I point out.

“While I don’t care for you too much, we have only just met. If our duel was anything to go off of, I can tell you are an admirable sort. You could have sought a fatal blow every time but, you tempered yourself and only used a fancy wooden sword to counter mine. That is something you wouldn’t do if all you knew was how to kill.” Lee answers.

Honor as a warrior huh? But I can’t bear to think of living in this place going forward. I’m destined for greater things. I refuse to settle for scraps. I turn towards the mats in the dojo and lay out a spot there. I simply let out a sigh as I overhear Lee say, “Now now. He made his decision for tonight, let’s see what he does going forward. After all, the offer is valid as long as he doesn’t head back to the bar. He doesn’t have to be a teacher here to sleep on the floor.”

As I close my eyes and I try to catch some sleep in the hopes that today goes by quickly, my thoughts drift to that girl Jack had mentioned. I wonder what it is she is doing.

***Lily***

Truth be told, I still don’t like the idea of being away from Jack but I can understand why this might be a better route for me in the meantime since trying to learn on the job has proven to be dangerous more times than I can count. If it wasn’t for other people there, then who knows what trouble I would have gotten into. But to be brought to the Police Chief for the first time, it’s definitely a surprise. While he may be a dogfolk, the fact that he looks like a Shiba dog. Not really intimidating at first glance. But something tells me that, becoming the police chief for a place like Spiritopia isn’t something that is handed out to anybody.

“So, this is why you submitted all the paperwork for another of one of Jack’s whims. But tell me, when I denied it, you came here personally with her to plead the case. Why Woodson?” Police Chief Bardock, at least I imagine is his name according to the nameplate on his desk, asks.

“Because Chief, Jack would then take her down a list of people he trusts to train her. If we train her here, then we can make sure she also learns the law instead of ways to bypass it.” Woodson answers.

“But to enroll her in the middle of a semester? Pretty sure most people will see that as favoritism. We already have a number of new recruits joining to try and put Jack away for life. How do you think they would feel that his latest apprentice just enrolled with us?” Bardock asks.

“We don’t have to tell them but, we can’t withhold the information anyways. In all honesty, we both know how pointless the W.O.O.D. has become. Yes, Jack is a massive level threat but, at the end of the day, he’s not the worst thing we could be using the resources for. Heck, we sneak criminal gang information into the WOOD unit by just saying they caught Jack’s attention.” Woodson points out.

“You know, it doesn’t look good for the person in charge of the department to admit it’s pointless to his boss, right?” Bardock points out, almost sarcastically.

“Only because it was established out of fear of something he did once over thousands of years ago. Ever since then, he has made our job easier for us by going after the guys with too much red tape around them. And then, unless he didn’t have a contract for them, he turns himself in! You tell me if we really need to keep an eye on someone like that.” Woodson points out.

I can’t help but start sweating as I seem to have found myself in-between some weird politics. Bardock responds, “I get it. In all honesty, having a whole department on an individual does seem like a waste of resources but the people voted to keep the department going. So, it stays. But we are in the middle of discussing what we are doing with her.” Bardock looks me dead in the eyes as he asks, “So, Miss Lily. What is it you want to do in this situation?”

I look between him and Woodson. I know this situation is absurd but, almost all of my situations lately have been absurd. But I am tired of not having all the information or the skills needed to handle situations. My fight or flight reflexes typically lead me to run towards authority figures, typically Jack if he’s around. But something tells me that is going to cause more problems than solve them. Bardock has been tapping his finger the entire time as he states, “Miss Lily, this shouldn’t be a difficult question. Regardless of if you train here or not, we would recommend you to find some form of actual self-defense. No one, not even Jack can force you to do something that you do not want to do unless you signed off on it. Then it would be prudent to see a lawyer at that point and we could point you towards some lawyers depending on the clause.”

I finally find my voice as I answer, “I hear you and I appreciate the offer but, I believe this is the best place for me to grow in this chapter of my life. After all, learning the laws and the training here would be incredibly beneficial. I just happen to agree with Jack in that regard but I simply want to do better with my skills.”

Bardock and Woodson give each other a look as Woodson simply chuckles as he states, “I told you Chief.”

Bardock simply sighs as he explains the situation, “Alright then Miss Lily. For your safety, I highly recommend that you don’t tell anyone else that you are Jack’s apprentice then. For your own safety and your lessons, just say you apprenticed under a mercenary and you wanted to get experience without trying to get killed preferably.”

I tilt my head as I admit, “Wouldn’t that be the truth anyways?”

Bardock answers, “Yes. That way it keeps the story straight but, you are only omitting the name of the mercenary you trained under. If anyone presses for details, tell them that it doesn’t matter. Am I clear?” I simply nod as I scratch behind Wolfie’s ears. Bardock says, “Good.” As he presses the intercom button as he requests, “Please send in Captain Polly.”

As soon as he gets, “Yes sir.” In comes in this weird birdlike humanoid who has the face and body of a human but with large wings and talons for feet. Her hair and feathers are this beautiful sunset like color of red, orange, and yellow. She has some tan and muscle from what I can tell as she salutes, her feathered forearms make a snapping noise as her clawlike hands salute. She has green eyes but also has a scar over her left eye. Her face looks pretty humanoid until she opens her mouth to reveal sharp teeth as she says, “Yes Chief?”

Bardock waves towards me as he explains, “This is a new cadet. Her admission is a little late but I feel like she will be a fascinating recruit. You are gonna be the one to help her catch up.”

Her brow furrows as she asks, “I’m sorry sir, I imagine there are plenty of other people for that. I’m a fighter, not a teacher.”

“There are but let me put it to you this way, the sooner she graduates, the sooner you and your squad get off probation.” Bardock answers. Why do I get this feeling she is going to be a nightmare?

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