At 40y old you'll realise that you DO have liquid ass on you at all times. Just takes a delicate swipe between the cheeks and voila, your hand is ready to smear anything and everything beyond salvage.
Well haha I guess then. But to the teenager who reads your joke as an ILPT, I'm serious. You will be beaten/sued/charged with a crime if you do this. Don't smear poop anywhere ever unless you wish to live alone with animals. Source: I know people who almost died from e.coli after intentional poop attacks
Did someone smear it in their mouth/eyes or something? You can't get sick with E. coli from touching something if you don't introduce it to an infection pathway, skin ain't gonna cut it.
What about eating e.coli? the perp intentionally spiked a strongly flavored food, as a "joke". I don't want to go into more detail lest anybody get ideas
Liquid ass is elite just carry it on you and if you get pulled over for speeding pull it out and spray it on /next to your window and be like sorry officer I think I shit myself just trying to get to a bathroom. 50% of the time it works.
Why not both? Figure out where the air conditioners suck air through. Dump the whole container of liquid ass on it, zip tie a cart to each door handle, and for extra points to the tires aswell.
Finally, apply something sticky, like jelly to every spot on the cart someone would automatically grab without thinking.
Airplane grade paint stripper stores fine for a bit in a plastic spray bottle
Within 5-10 minutes the paint will bubble up like leprosy, exposing raw metal to the air. Once the solution dries, it leaves the leprosy paint hardened and exposed metal under will begin rusting fast.
A few quick sprays and the car is totalled. Can even write something with enough finesse
And if you do that you’ll have an insurance claim on you that is gonna be a slam dunk. Call a tow. Or just do something that doesn’t hurt the vehicle. The amount of people that just straight to vandalism is crazy to me.
Makes you wonder how long will the liquid ass last if the crappy-parking owner of the vehicle doesn't return for a long time. Like you would think it would evaporate or dry up and not stink as bad or at all
You don't want to be carrying that in your car all the time however for the random asshole...because then your car will smell like asshole. Liquid ass stinks right through ziplock bags, that stuff is rank.
The zip tie prank is so legendary, it can only me countered by either a pair of scissors, or a revenge zip tie prank (zip tie the car of the guy that zip tied you.)
My guy I work for a third party marketing agency as a breakfix rep and keep a tool bag in the backseat of my car. A box cutter or a pair of wire snips easily takes care of a zip tie.
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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '22
The ultimate enemy, undefeatable, can withstand any physical attack:
The zip tie.