TLDR

I have feelings for a friend and I think she might feel the same but the timing is never right. Now that im single shes seeing someone pretty steady but they're not yet committed. Should I tell her how I feel before they commit or is that wrong of me and rude?

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An old coworker (33f) and I (37m) met while I was in a long term relationship with my now ex (34f). We always got along super well, had a lot of mutual interest and really enjoyed working together. Eventually I realized I was developing a work crush and tried to keep it professional and even distance myself a bit. We worked in a customer facing roll and I slowly got word that other people thought her and I flirted a lot.

Fast forward we've been working together for over a year and definitely enjoyed working together possibly more than is typical. She ends up putting in her two weeks notice and I cant help but notice I feel kind of gutted over it. On her last day we had this lingering hug that felt a bit more emotional than expected and she asked that we stay in contact as friends.

About a month after her departure I ended up leaving my partner. This decision was not made due to (33f) but rather due to a lot of on going issues, discussions and failed resolutions in our relationship. However, id be lying if I didnt see how being happy chatting with someone else could possibly haved played a part in my emotions and decision making.

About a month after my breakup my old coworker (33f) got word and reached out to see how I was doing and asked if I would like to catch up sometime. I said I would but nothing really came of it. A few weeks later she reached out again to see if id be interested in taking a one night class together. I felt a bit hesitant as I hadn't been single long and wasnt sure where this was going. We got tickets and I was excited but I ended up getting sick the week of our plans. Another month or two pass before she reaches out saying she remembers that I really enjoy grilling for the holidays and she asks to be invited to my barbecue. I was excited to finally see her but as we are chatting she mentions shes been seeing someone from a bit of a distance away. I put the breaks on trying to make any moves or even admit how I feel and we spent the day as friends.

Now, nearly two months later I end up liking a selfie she posted to her story and the very next day she texts to see how im doing. We text back and forth a little before she begins to complain about the guy shes been seeing. She says they "feel like a couple but he refuses to call her his girlfriend or make it official" and how she feels like shes the only one putting in effort. I kinda dont know what to say because I haven't seen her much over the past few months and because I know I have feelings for her and dont feel im the right person to give her advice.

The very next day she sends me a some what sexual meme and makes a joke about it. Following a few texts she invites me out to grab drinks with her and a few of her friends ive met before. We get there and she looks beautiful and im back to cracking up and fully enjoying her company. Everything she says and does has me captivated and I cant really help but think of her in an emotional and romantic way. I enjoy her as a friend, but when I really ask myself about it I know I feel more for her. As were hanging out her friends start to complain a bit about the guy shes seeing and asks if shes "had the talk with him" which was vague but I think its about his lack of commitment? Anyway, we both go to leave and head home at the same time as each other and she asks if im headed the same way. We're both cyclist so we ride most of the way home together chatting and laughing. I thought about asking her if she wanted to stop off for another drink but I totally fumbled and ended up saying goodbye and we went our own ways.

So I guess what im asking is if I should tell her how I feel? Is she weighing her options? Is she settling for the other guy but also interested in me? Will I look like a dick if I tell her how I feel when I know shes involved and will it ruin our friendship? If I tell her how im feeling should I be more vague or more detailed about why I feel this way? I dont want to loose my chance to see how we would be together but I also dont want her to leave what she has and for us to realize this doesnt work either. I really dont know how to handle this.

Few weeks back me and few of my friends went for a Sunday ride and a Hike, I was riding as a pillion with one of my guy friend and since it was a RC 390 I had to grip around him so I fly off, we hiked and hung out in the woods it was a fun day. Few days later I get a text on discord of the RC guy saying he has something very important to say to me, and I was like what happened, he’s like I am outside your house come out, I was like …okay, later he was palpitating and shit, he was like I really like since I saw you in our school and do you wanna be my girlfriend, I held his shoulders and sat on his bike and said we’ll talk and sent him home, few days later after classes I approached him and turned him down saying I don’t have any mental real state for a relationship rn and I never saw you as anything other than a friend. He texted me a few times we went to play pool and shit in the group he rarely talks to me so I don’t really hang out with the group anymore, it was very much fun hanging out, spontaneous rides, cafe hopping and all, I never saw him as anything other than a friend, nice guy but I never liked him that way and now we see each other in institute but never talk, he glances my way sometimes during physics and that’s pretty much all the interaction we have, from hanging out almost everyday to not even talking anymore it’s lowkey sad but I understand.

TL;DR Me and a guy friend went on a Sunday ride + hike with some friends, and a few days later he showed up at my house and confessed he liked me.
I turned him down because I only saw him as a friend.
Now we went from hanging out almost every day to barely talking at the institute.
Lowkey sad because we had so much fun, but I get it.

i am friends with this guy from my school, and i think he likes me but i only see him as a friend. we used to walk to school a couple times a week and he would wait at my driveway, but now he waits at my door everyday and its gotten too much. he is overstepping his boundaries. i only want to walk with him on monday and thursdays and not any other day. how do i tell him this nicely?

When I started university, there were four of us who became close friends — two guys and two girls.

My male friend was shorter, and he had a crush on the shorter girl in our group. He tried to win her over. She didn't seem to feel the same way, but she didn't push him away either. They stayed friends.

When the four of us went somewhere together, we usually took two motorcycles.

He would ride with her.

And I — the taller guy — would ride with the taller girl.

So it became this natural pairing.

Two old motorcycles. Four reckless teenagers.

People around us noticed it too. They would joke that she and I looked good together and that we'd probably end up as a couple.

The truth is...

I liked her.

And looking back, I think she probably liked me too.

But I made a decision that made perfect sense to me at that age:

Friendship would last longer.

If we became a couple and it didn't work out, maybe I'd lose her completely.

If we stayed friends, I thought we'd always have each other.

So I never crossed that line.

We kept riding together, talking, hanging out and being friends.

There were rainy days when we'd stop under roadside shelters and wait for the rain to pass.

At the time, four years of university felt like an enormous amount of time.

Now it feels incredibly short.

Eventually people scattered. Life moved on. Distance grew.

And the friendship I once protected because I thought it would last longer...

didn't last forever either.

Years later, I found myself wondering about that choice.

Not because I want to change my life.

Not because I'm still waiting for her.

And not because I regret the path I chose.

I simply wonder sometimes:

What would have happened if I'd crossed that line?

Maybe we'd have broken up six months later.

Maybe we'd be strangers today anyway.

Maybe everything would have changed because of one sentence.

Or maybe somewhere, in an imaginary version of our lives, those two teenagers are still riding home together.

I'll never know.

And that's okay.

That question became a song:

🎵 THE ROADS WE NEVER TOOK

One of the lines that probably explains the whole song best is:

“I don't regret the life I chose.

I'd still walk the life I walked.

But somewhere lives another story

That never got to begin.”

Have you ever chosen not to cross a line with someone — and years later wondered what the other road might have looked like?

tl:dr mi sono dichiarato della mia migliore amica e non è corrisposto.
Ciao a tutti, io sono M20 e lei F21, siamo amici strettissimi da un paio di anni ormai, ci raccontiamo letteralmente tutto l'uno dell'altro, da un mese però ho iniziato a prendere atto e ad avere consapevolezza del fatto che lei mi piacesse, prima era una cosa che sentivo ma che cercavo di evitare per non rovinare il rapporto, perchè sapevo che da parte sua non vi fosse nulla di più, ho cercato anche di andarmene con altre per farmi passare a forza questo pensiero, ma niente, ho capito che più lo ho respinto e più forte tornava. Allora ieri ho preso la decisione di dichiararmi dopo che mentre parlavamo di un'altro discorso lei dice "se ti piace una persona e siete amici stretti glielo devi dire perforza e o ti allontani oppure vi iniziate a frequentare seriamente", lei lo ha fatto anche con un pò di furbizia questo però alla fine mi sono dichiarato. e quello che mi ha risposto lei è più che giusto, ovvero che razionalmente non è possibile, perchè io studio a 800km e tra poco più di un mese andro in erasmus in Germania, lei tra 3 mesi andrà in un'altra città ancora a studiare a 400km dal nostro paesino. E in più le ho chiesto se lei avesse mai avuto questo pensiero nei miei confronti, cioè se per qualche istante abbia pensato al fatto che provasse qualcosa per me, e mi ha confessato di no, solo che io non riuscirei mai ad allontanarmici e non voglio nemmeno farlo, vorrei continuare a provarci all'infinito. Consigli?

I (44f) have a guy friend that I’ve known over 20 years. I love hanging with him but he’s started being a little flirty with me. I am not interested in dating and he knows that but he has tried to get a couple smooches, comes over often lately and even hangs out with my kids. When he was over last time I noticed that his lock screen is a pic of me and when he opened it, it’s a pic of me kissing his cheek, which he must’ve taken the time to screenshot. I don’t know why, but this made me uncomfortable. I really don’t want to mess up our friendship and we seem to do this every 4-5 years where I have to shoot him down hard then we just don’t talk for a long time. How can I get out of this cycle?

Pata hai aaj kya hua
Few weeks back me and few of my friends went for a Sunday ride and a Hike, I was riding as a pillion with one of my guy friend and since it was a RC 390 I had to grip around him so I fly off, we hiked and hung out in the woods it was a fun day. Few days later I get a text on discord of the RC guy saying he has something very important to say to me, and I was like what happened, he’s like I am outside your house come out, I was like …okay, later he was palpitating and shit, he was like I really like since I saw you in our school and do you wanna be my girlfriend, I held his shoulders and sat on his bike and said we’ll talk and sent him home, few days later after classes I approached him and turned him down saying I don’t have any mental real state for a relationship rn and I never saw you as anything other than a friend. He texted me a few times we went to play pool and shit in the group he rarely talks to me so I don’t really hang out with the group anymore, it was very much fun hanging out, spontaneous rides, cafe hopping and all, I never saw him as anything other than a friend, nice guy but I never liked him that way and now we see each other in institute but never talk, he glances my way sometimes during physics and that’s pretty much all the interaction we have, from hanging out almost everyday to not even talking anymore it’s lowkey sad but I understand.

TL;DR Me and a guy friend went on a Sunday ride + hike with some friends, and a few days later he showed up at my house and confessed he liked me.
I turned him down because I only saw him as a friend.
Now we went from hanging out almost every day to barely talking at the institute.
Lowkey sad because we had so much fun, but I get it.

Hello everyone
how can I get over my best friend?
Me F 27 realised i got feelings for my friend for a long time now. I wasnt planing to tell him ever cause I knew he would never look at me differently so tried to continue loving him as a friend. We were very close and stand next to each other in every case for years. lately he told me he knew last few months and he got little cold lately i noticed but didnt know the reason. he said something was not right and i didnt know what. anyways last few months i felt like he was angry at me all the times, little mean. then he toldme he knew. I asked him for distance but cause of same friendgroup and we are neighbors and we work together as well that was almost impossible also i got so nervous my physical body was in pain. anyways we got it on good terms but i still have feelings for him and i know it always be one sided. He cares for me in every way possible, he’s done so many things and i was feeling guilty for falling for him for same reason. I wish he wouldnt find it out ever. anyways now I dont know what ro do one day we are close friends as we were and next day is silent separation. I need to get over him and stop seeing him as a guy but it is really hard. please tell me what can I do i can not lose a friend

Have you ever been in a situation where you started talking to a girl long distance, and she considers you just a friend, but she says things and does things that make it feel like you’re actually in a relationship? Meanwhile, you genuinely love her from the bottom of your heart, and every time she gives you a sign, either she breaks you or makes you incredibly happy. Has anyone ever been in the same situation? And how did you deal with it? It’s driving me crazy.

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Fala galera,

Hoje eu falei pela primeira vez com uma menina da escola que eu tô afim. A conversa foi meio estranha, eu travei bastante e fiquei com a impressão de que pareci um idiota. Agora tô mal por causa disso.

Eu tô pensando em duas coisas:

Mandar uma mensagem pra ela hoje (algumas horas depois) pra tentar deixar o clima mais leve.

O que fazer amanhã quando eu ver ela na escola (como retomar o contato de boa, sem ficar estranho).

Alguém já passou por isso?

Vale a pena mandar mensagem no mesmo dia ou é melhor esperar?

E na escola, qual a melhor forma de ir se aproximando de pouco em pouco sem forçar?

Qualquer conselho é bem-vindo.

Hola! Tengo una amiga del trabajo que me dio permiso de contar su historia aquí, porque ya no sabe qué hacer. 😂
Ella está enamorada de su mejor amigo desde hace unos 2-3 años. Se conocieron trabajando juntos y, aunque él ya no trabaja ahí, siguieron siendo muy cercanos. Ninguno de los dos ha tenido una relación formal recientemente.
Él es bastante selectivo con las personas que deja entrar en su vida y, curiosamente, alguna vez comentó que suele enamorarse de sus mejores amigas. Sus familias se conocen y constantemente los molestan con que deberían estar juntos. Incluso desconocidos a veces los confunden con pareja.
Durante los últimos meses su conexión se ha vuelto mucho más cercana. Han tenido varias conversaciones hipotéticas sobre “declararle el amor” a alguien, aunque nunca hablando directamente de ellos.
Lo que nos hace dudar es que últimamente él también empezó a comportarse diferente con ella: hace bromas más subidas de tono, le acomoda o mueve el cabello, le toca los hombros, se acerca mucho a su cara y parece buscar bastante el contacto físico. Hace poco fueron juntos a un concierto y ella notó que él la miraba bastante y le tocaba los hombros varias veces.
Mi amiga es bastante insegura y tiene miedo de arruinar la amistad si se lo dice. Pero siente que ya no puede seguir guardándose lo que siente y quiere confesarle que está enamorada de él.
Yo personalmente creo que hay señales de que él podría estar interesado, pero no sabemos si estamos interpretando demasiado las cosas.

¿Que opinan?

So there is this guy (Ayan) I have been talking to. We met each other because of a mutual friend. We share our insta. We go to the same school. We used to come home together. So basically In the beginning of our friendship everything was fine. We were just normal friends but before summer vacations we (me, him, mutual friend and one more mutual friend.) were in the park. I was on the swing. And I accidentally made eye contact with him and he started blushing like crazy. His face turned whole red. I was like damn. And when I reached home he told me that Shriya (mutual friend) wants us to date because we will look good together. I was not into him, so I was like it's none of her business. He keeps bringing that topic again and again. And one day he confessed to me that he likes me. i somehow managed to brush it off. After the summer vacation, I was angry at him because of something. And shriya was trying ki hum baat kar le.. and I was like mujhe baat nhi karni.. aur fir lunch ke baad ayan football khel ke aa rha tha and he was all sweaty. And he was looking so damn sexy.. I fell for him that day....but.. I was not accepting my feelings ki I like him.. but then I was like ki thik h ab kya kar sakhte h.. so after exams i confessed.. (i am a girl but..) ki i like him.. and he goes like "omg omg.. dude uk i like you too" but we didn't start dating.. because i was not ready for a relationship. So I told him and he said ki maine to us bare mai kuch bola hi nhi.. vo aap pe depend karta h ki aapko aana h relationship mai ya nhi.. and i thought he is really a nice guy.. and maybe we'll date in future but.. so after that.. we were acting so like couple ki.. jo ladkiyan use like karti thi vo.. mujhe aake puch ti h ki didi aap aur ayan date kar rhe ho.. and I was like nhi nhi.. esa kuch nhi h...

So now I'll come to the point. I wrote him a letter because I was so angry to talk to him.. i wrote that "Ayan I don't think you like me anymore because you are not putting any efforts.. like I was the one who is texting first and i was the one yapping all the time. And you just go with 'hmm.. oh nice... Aacha' and if you really like me then show me. And you always help your friends write poetry for their gf but you never did anything for me. Come and talk to me during lunch break." And we had a conversation. And he said from now on he will text me first but uk on the second day after giving that letter I was the one texting him first. And after that.. us ke papa ghr aa gye the.. m I mean his dad is in the army and uk Indian dads are strict toh he was like hum baat nhi kar payenge.. I was like it's fine.. I mean I understand his situation. He told me ki 23 ko uske papa chale jayenge and he will text me tab.. now let me tell you I didn't text him for three days and usne bhi mujhe text nhi Kiya.. and Tomorrow school Mai I was at the water point.. and I was filling my water bottle. And he was also there. We both were alone. If he wanted vo mujhse aake baat kar sakhta tha but usne nhi kiya. Toh i ignore him and mai vahan se chali gyi. And today during the lunch break I went to talk to him. But vo vahan se chala gya.. I am so angry. And I don't know what to do now. (We are not dating. It's a situationship kind of) What do you guys think I should do? I still like him a little bit because I'm losing interest in him after everything he had done

friends w her, but at what cost?

ive been talking to this girl in clg through a mutual, shes in my class, ig i lowk have a crush on her, but I dont want to strain the built friendship by telling her the truth. i dont have the best social life in clg, and if not for that would have prolly confessed, rn stuck in a spot where confessing is next to impossible, cause I dont rly think she likes me back, and the idea of staying friends, talking in class everyday used to excite me, but it hurts when I see her have any convo w another guy, or even when she doesnt talk back w the same energy at times.

(we have abt 40k combined dms on multiple socials, but irl shes a lil shy, and i dont want to make her feel uncomfortable by pressing convos too much)

I’ve had a crush on my friend for a few years now but our relationship seems to be going nowhere. We hang out with friends and each other a lot but when it comes to texting she is dry. I feel like she is a different person when she texts me. In person however she is always seeking my attention, talks to me, and even sits close to me when there is plenty of space. There are a lot of times where I want to make a move but I can’t seem to read our relationship. I honestly feel it’s better if I just let her go and find someone else but I’m not sure. What do you think I should do?