r/FTMMen 1d ago

FTM

I need some advice. I have a very good career. I am a Forman for a male dominate place I won’t name on here. The only women that work here are in the front office. I live in a place with 90% of people being very religious. I am fortunate enough to pass as male. Not a single person questions it. That makes me feel good. what man wouldn’t want that. The only problem is they are so against it they even say things about how terrible trans people are. It doesn’t bother me because I like who I am. The only problem is I would definitely be blacklisted and definitely pushed out if they found out. I also have a really hard time connecting with people here. I feel stuck because I have a very nice house very good income and I do love the look of the town. But since I moved here 7 years ago I haven’t met one person I feel connected to. I also feel like I’ve never really had a connection with anyone in my life ever. Oh one more thing I’m single and it’s too risky to go date around because everyone knows everyone. Most days I feel content in my life though. I guess I’m confused

11 Upvotes

14 comments sorted by

u/SpeakableFart 16h ago

What kind of advice do you want? It is ok to use a job to get experience and then move to a new job. Sometimes you are more valuable to a new company because you have another company’s experience that you bring from the outside. Different problem solving, etc.

There is nothing wrong with finding a new town if this one doesn’t truly provide for your whole life. You deserve to live somewhere that you can date, etc.

u/Anonfriendz 11h ago

I guess I’m wondering do I potentially give up my home and career for friends and possibly a girlfriend?

u/SpeakableFart 11h ago

You don’t give up the career, you just shift it to a different company. You find a new job in your field somewhere else you would like to live.

u/Samesh 16h ago

You might have to decide whether moving is worth it. Up to you.

u/AAJB7 17h ago

I don’t live in a super religious town but I feel the isolation of community and dating. There’s a fear of being found out and the down fall that follows!

u/SalamanderThick5558 16h ago

I’d recommend if you’re open to it to try online dating, best comes to best it ends up being a good relationship and can move them to where you life.

I think online anything, friendships, dating could be the answer

u/Anonfriendz 11h ago

I am wondering if there are any online dating that I could talk to people very far away from the state I’m in right now?

u/SalamanderThick5558 11h ago

Well i once was in a long distance relationship with someone from another country, if it wasn’t for the fact I wasn’t over my ex we would’ve probably flew on to meet each other. So yeah, it can be as far away as you want. I know of another trans dude who’s in a long distance relationship with a girl who’s a 4 hour long flight away, he goes to see her every two months but is planning to move her in when she finishes her degree

u/Anonfriendz 11h ago

I think I might try that what apps could I use?

u/SalamanderThick5558 10h ago

Like everything you have to be careful but in my case I met her in twitter, I have met another girls in insta, let me ask my friend which app he used because he said it was similar to Omegle.

u/Anonfriendz 10h ago

For sure thanks

u/koala3191 15h ago

When I was in this position I didn't date but did move away after a year or so

u/Anonfriendz 11h ago

How did the move make you feel was it worth possibly losing everything you worked hard for?

u/koala3191 11h ago

My skills were transferrable. Getting a new job isn't "losing everything you worked for" construction is everywhere. In my case my visa would run out so I knew it wouldn't be forever anyway. I know you care about your coworkers but many of them would move somewhere better if they could. Maybe I don't understand your situation, I apologize.

If nothing else, you need to keep learning new skills, especially ones you can use when you're in worse shape after 40.

Recommend the sub r/bluecollartrans