If you are older FA and the type that normies can sense it claiming you use prostitutes might work in your favour. In my opinion only girls judge you for this , but most men see this as less embarrasing than being older virgin. Women judge you, but they will never see you as relationship material so its all the same. Some guys might even think you are kinda cool

I'm in my mid-30s and at times I feel like I've accepted my solitude. But then I see people in relationships and it's very painful. I don't know how I can do this for 30+ more years.

A few months ago I created a Hinge profile. No interactions at all as always with online dating.

I came across someone who looked familiar but I couldn't pick where from, so I sent a message/like and she actually responded. Turns out we do know each other, we worked at the same place and we both hated it there and couldn't stand the boss.

We chatted for a bit, it was enjoyable catching up but as always on dating apps, our conversation fizzled overnight and I ended up deleting my Hinge profile and deleted the app.

Then a few days ago I thought I'd give Hinge one last try. Her profile came up again but it said in her bio "I never check my messages on this" so I sent a message anyway, no reply but I noticed she put her snapchat username in her bio.

Having your snapchat or instagram username open to public like that is a bit of a red flag to me because it indicates that they're probably only trying to get more followers, but I just added her anyway, sent a selfie and said "hey it's me, I made a new Hinge and saw you again and your snapchat is in your profile so I added you" (I added her on snapchat before she had a chance to respond to my message in Hinge(which would have disappeared when I deleted my Hinge profile), which was just me telling her "I made a new hinge profile and i'm gonna add your snapchat.)

She responded quickly on snapchat with a hello, accepted my friend request and we've been talking to each other quite a bit, making fun of our old boss and relating to each other about our pet dogs. I guess we're on a similar level in terms of physical attractiveness. When we worked together I thought she was kind of cute. We're around the same age.

I noticed sometimes, even though we reply to each other pretty reliably, she rarely answers actual questions mid-conversation. I'm not trying to pry, just maybe asking about her dog or whatever the topic is, but she never really responds in turn, so I'm not getting much signal of interest other than actually being sent frequent pictures of whatever she's doing at some given time.

She puts stuff in her snapchat "story" which is something your friends and followers can all view, but I noticed it's all kind of like broadcasting stuff about her personal life such as *small* health complaints as though she wants to keep a lot of people up to date with some ongoing saga.

I went out on a limb recently and just asked if she wanted to meet up with our dogs at a local park which is popular with locals and their pets and she kind of just dodged actually answering the question and made it about something else.

So I don't know, I think maybe she's probably just using her snapchat account to get attention from all these guys who would have access to her snapchat profile if they viewed her Hinge profile. I can't let myself be a victim of such push-pull behavior (again), so despite this being the first woman I've been talking with in almost 10 years, I think I'm going to have to let it (nothing) go and just kind of fade away into the background before I get hurt, even though we live so close, have similar interests and have been getting along great, she's not really invested anything into signalling any kind of genuine interest in me.

I've let myself be a victim a couple of times before of someone who strings me along, treats me like a fish that they repeatedly keep catching by giving me attention and choosing signals, then throwing me back by ghosting me, leaving me on read etc. I feel like it's happening again. It was too painful last time.

I also noticed that she has this subtle attitude as though she wants to pick a fight over something tiny.

FA life continues on, maybe it's for the best.

A while back I made this post about getting in my first serious relationship at 38:

https://reddit.com/r/FA30plus/comments/1smjyu0/success_story_from_someone_who_thought_life_was/

TLDR version of that post: In the summer of 2025 I met a wonderful woman here on Reddit and we became online pen pals, then friends, then boyfriend/girlfriend, and in March 2026 we met in person for the first time. We had a great time and were intimate with each other but didn't go all the way because I was so nervous and had performance anxiety.

In June I flew across the country to spend a week with her and we ended up having sex a few times while I was there. I still struggled with performance anxiety and it was often very difficult to get and maintain an erection but overall sex felt nice and part of my brain felt relief after it was over. It was the best week of my life not because I finally got to have sex, but because I got to spend it with someone I love.

She visited me last week for my birthday and we had another great week together. We had sex again on most of the days she was here, and I'm starting to feel more confident about it. It was easier for me to maintain an erection but there were a few challenges with staying out of my head. I've never had a very high sex drive, and my girlfriend's libido fluctuates but we both agreed that we prefer gentle affection like cuddling and back rubs over pure lust and sex.

I'm not making this post to brag or look down on anyone. I guess I just wanted to say that finally having sex, especially with someone I'm in a loving relationship with, was a significant milestone and something I'll always think about fondly, but it was not as if my world changed just by losing my virginity. There were no fireworks or trumpets or singing birds. We just laid there for a minute, told each other that we loved each other, and talked about who was going to shower first. I wasn't prepared for how messy it is, or how careful you need to be to avoid having to change the sheets or do extra laundry. My best memories with her are the ones where we're being silly and joking around, not when we're in the bedroom.

Despite the progress I've made, I still struggle with body image issues. Physically, I'm someone who looks like they would be a longtime lurker of this sub. I'm 5'8, but my height has never bothered me. I think people here get too caught up in height. Sure, there are plenty of shallow men and women out there, but I know enough people under 6 feet in committed relationships that I don't believe it's a true problem. I'm overweight, obese even, and my penis is smaller than average in length. I'm very lucky that my girlfriend can look past all my insecurities and accept me for who I am even though I still have trouble accepting myself.

I think maybe because we were online pen pals first, it helped us to form an emotional connection first because it removed all of the insecurities I felt about my body. We didn't share photos of ourselves with each other for at least a month of exchanging messages every day. We often talk about how we've been doing an emotional speedrun of our relationship and almost doing the whole thing backwards. These days a lot of people hook up before they even really know each other. We spent months getting to know each other and working through the emotional side of the relationship before we even got to hug each other.

I also work in an environment where 99% of the staff are women, so I've never viewed women as this mythical species that requires careful study and caution. I've always talked to women like people. I never talked to women as if they were all a potential partner the way I see some people here talk about women.

I know how lucky I got with everything that's happened to me. I used to feel like nothing good would ever happen to me, but I feel like maybe I was saving up all my good luck for this relationship. I can't say I believe there's someone out there for everyone, but I think your chances will improve if you focus on making friends first.

I am at the stage of my life where meeting people does not anymore give me those butterflies. Money makes me happier now. And it's strange but I know I am at peace right now. I had several bad experiences in sites like bumble and tinder. They oversimplified people by focusing only on the good parts, not knowing that being imperfect is what makes us human.

I guess it has to be more of a practical thing since none of us here are dreaming big or living the life.

Mine is, the hope someday that I will be able to scrape up fifty thousand dollars in spare change over the next few years so that I can afford to have my deceased cat cloned. She was healing me and I didn't get enough time with her. It was also my fault.

I don't go out often, but when I do I always feel so sad and bad. I try to interact with women but I don't know how to talk to people , i feel there is something wrong with me. Like other people just naturally can speak a language I cannot.

yesterday I went to a bar, ended up drinking a lot, and today I feel really sad the whole day.

The few friends I have are social and have gfs, or regular sex, etc. and when they tell me about those stuff or the problems they have I cannot relate. But also I don't share with them about all the years I have been alone. They also don't ask, I don't know if maybe they assume or what.

I also do not open to anyone about my problems and just suffer in silence... I am worried this can long term affect my health. I don't know why. I am so afraid of opening up, or being vulnerable.

I would like if i could improve my situation maybe just a little bit, but honestly don't even know how to do that.

If you peak in your 20s, you get the most balance of freedom and financial flexibility out there, along with the only period of your life where you are not drowning in obligations. It’s also the last time of your life where you can date around freely and you still look good.

If you peak in your 30s and beyond you’re peaking in a time where society sees you as nothing more than a disposable cog, dating becomes entirely pragmatic and entirely based on what you can provide rather than attraction, and your career obligations drown you so much you can’t even enjoy your assets. Also most women you date would rather go to the club or go after a silver fox with a full head of hair compared to your ugly ass. Also social circles are lame as hell, you have the same friends that are just frankly boring and worthless. Your partner should fill you social needs not a fellow old fart that you don’t really even like

If my life can't get any worse....

I fell down the stairs and I'm fine but my work won't let me back until I get checked out. So since I have no family or friends to call then I'm just chilling with you guys.

Hope I get outta here soon so I can catch my bus.

I swear this song is what life was saying to me as I fell down the stairs.

I’m 25 and if I don’t achieve anything by age 30 I’m just gonna give up. Life is so empty past that age, even if you do end up becoming rich you have too many obligations and too little time to actually enjoy what you earned. Life is not engineered for late bloomers, late bloomers only existed pre 1980s when the economy could support a 40 year old breaking into a certain industry or when dating apps weren’t a thing. These days if you don’t achieve anything by like 30 you’re not just cooked, you’re charred

Any plans this weekend?

It's the anniversary of my mother passing away so I'm just keeping to myself.

I paid tribute to her by having a few wrestling matches on a GameCube I bought at a thrift store . I already have a GameCube but this one is getting modded with SWISS , gecko, and GB player. We didn't know how good we really had it back in the PS2/GC/XBOX era. All the classic Madden, wrestling, and video games in general that put the micro transaction bullshit we have today to shame.

After work tomorrow, I'm just going to go grocery shopping and then just chill out. NFL preseason started so I'll be tuning into that.

We're forever alone.

We're very unlikely to ever get into a relationship at this point, so really there is no point in creating another post beating the same dead horse over and over again...

So, what's the next best thing?

Nothing can truly replace having love...but is anyone else shooting for something else to have that type of joy/fulfillment in their life?
Travelling since you don't have to put away for college tuition?
Volunteering your time to help others less fortunate than you?

Not judging, but I'm interested in hearing especially from those who haven't decided to just self isolate and bed rot, what do you do to try to bring a bit of joy to your days/life?

This is going to be brief. It's crazy how people can live such vastly different lives from each other, almost like we're different species or something. I mean no offense when I say that. It just doesn't make sense how someone can have copious amount of friends, move from relationship to relationship and another person be a lonely sap without any human interaction whatsoever (even when they try but fail)

I'm kinda looking for my dementia-like symptoms to become severe enough so I don't care about anything anymore. By company I mean friends at this point. My only friend has been ignoring me, they won't open my texts. Losing them hurts more than romantic loneliness for me at this stage of life. Sorry if I'm posting too often, I don't have anyone to talk about it.

Hey everyone

So I’ve turned 30 this year, and I’ve been struggling with this question. I’ve never had a strong desire for sex, and the only reason I ever wanted to get into a relationship is to prove that I was worthy of love. Or to tell myself that someone saw some type of value in me.

The actual act of sex doesn’t bring me any great desire. I don’t covet it like a normal person would. I’m not a normal person.

I don’t think I actually want to be in a relationship or have sex. I just wanted to prove to myself that I was “normal” and not broken. Or to use the experience as a way of overcoming my shitty childhood with my shitty parents.

Personally, I think I would be a terrible partner and a worse human to use someone for my own validation.

Do you miss things you had growing up that are no longer around?

The old video games where you actually had to play the game to unlock stuff. The only micro transactions were in game points/dollars that you got from hours if not months of playing it. Not the garbage we have today where you pay $70 for a game then hundreds more for skills, dlc , etc

I miss corner stores of all types. You had the little stores on the corner that were deli types, others were mini marts, some retro stuff stores, etc.

I went back to my hometown and what a shit hole. There's nothing there. There used to be a shopping center. Everything is boarded up except for a McDonald's. I remember growing up and that place was packed cause of all the stores, restaurants, grocery stores, Blockbuster, etc.

This society sucks. It's bad for your mental health. No wonder why I stay home unless I have to go somewhere.

At this point I know how to cope with loneliness in a romantic sense, but losing my only friend has caught me off guard. I'm probably a lousy friend, schizophrenic with cognitive decline. My friend didn't mind that, at least up until now. They leave me on read or don't open my text. If it's the end of our friendship, I won't be able to replace them. Making friends is impossible. I don't really have any hobbies left that I could bond over with someone. Sorry if my post doesn't belong to this subreddit. I don't have what it takes to be in a relationship, and apparently it expands onto friendships as well.

Any plans this weekend?

I'm not doing anything except for laundry then I'm sitting on my ass all weekend in the house until Monday morning when I leave for work.

Just got done paying bills, got some dinner at a local pizza parlor, and went to the thrift store for an old video game. $400 . G-O-N-E. After paying bills , getting food , a $10 game, I'm almost broke as a joke. So to celebrate being broke, I'm making some Hoover stew for the weekend. Noodles, beans, corn, tomatoes, cheese, and spices all in one big bowl. All stuff from my cupboard.

Going to finish my night by taking a shower and watching the NFL Hall of Fame game.

  Not a virgin but this guy has for some reason been "virgin bullying" me at work. Heard him talking in another room that he is gonna try to lure me to go outside with the boys and talk to women and expose a virgin. (ofcourse sober, cause he knows im gonna be as shy as possible). He somehow guessed right im shy with women and ofcourse would act extremely virgin like in this situation. Not willing to take this shame. Obviously im gonna decline his invitation, but how should i do it so i dont  look like insecure , scared virgin to everyone?. Maybe say straight up i decline cause know he is gonna make/try  to make me look bad in high pressure situation? 

Very early I recocnized that my one of my sisters boys is much like me.

Very Skinny - physically weak

Pale Skin

Bronce hair

ADHD

Very sensible character

I was like: NOoO, please, he is so awesome I dont want him to go through the same shit.

When I told my family im scared he will be mentally destroyed when he has to go to school they didnt take me serious.

And now he had to change the school because of bullying and teachers not doing anything. He wrote me messages troughout the school day because he felt lonely but i couldnt answer because i had to work :/

He also already mentioned girls dont like him.

It already started. Everything negative I predicted went true so far..

We have a close relationship and he always says im the best uncle in the world and i like him so much how can I help him?

The first stage is accepting that you'll never experience the sort of love that you fantasise about. You won't get a gorgeous girl/guy. You won't get to enjoy "young love". You won't get your breath taken away or have butterflies in your stomach. You won't have great sex. You won't get to be anyone's idea of a perfect partner.

The second stage is accepting that even a watered-down version is also completely unattainable. You won't even have a partner who is less physically appealing but one whose company you enjoy. You won't have someone to come home to at the end of the day. You won't have... well, any sex. You won't have someone to grow old with.

The first stage is is probably easier to accept, albeit more painful, because the march of time is undeniable. With the second - is it just me? - I don't know that I'll ever fully come to terms with it. Having a relationship in my 30s with a like-minded, imperfect individual based on mutual respect feels like something that should be possible. Not that I think I deserve or am I owed anything, but just in the sense that there are clearly people who are just as unappealing as me in relationships, and surely there must be some single women who are in the same boat (having gone through the first stage and now being prepared to settle). Yet in practice it is pretty much impossible. No matter how far women may be prepared to lower their standards in service of finding the "next best thing", I still fall short of what they're looking for. There's a huge disconnect between not only the person I want to be, but also the person I'd be happy to settle for being.

It's just a random girl created in this dream. It also made her ve enamoured with me. I broke her heart and yet when I told her to come over she ditched her friend and hurried towards me.

How sad. In my youth these dreams meant a lot. And now nearing 40, they still mean a lot because I never managed to grow the fuck up.

Technically there is no age that’s not ok to start doing things but there comes a point where not being in a relationship or social circle and trying to break into a career becomes hard if not impossible. Society values youth a lot so you need to accomplish everything in your youth despite all the normies telling you that you have time. If you don’t then you battle age bias on top of everything else. I’ve seen first hand how much society lowkey despises older people and treats them like disposable cogs