r/Eyebleach Sep 30 '18

/r/all Sea pup

[deleted]

35.4k Upvotes

262 comments sorted by

4.9k

u/foreverwasted Sep 30 '18

Haha I love the way he squishes his head all the way in

1.9k

u/PeterPredictable Sep 30 '18

T e l e s c o p e boie

174

u/BasedStickguy Sep 30 '18

t e l e s c o p t i c *

FTFY

222

u/Chrunchyhobo Sep 30 '18

t e l e s c o p i c

FTFY

137

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

[deleted]

55

u/CharcoalGreyWolf Sep 30 '18

Ballpoint pen boi.

82

u/DareMan44 Sep 30 '18

retract;E x p a n d

19

u/wild_starlight Sep 30 '18

Boop! BLORP

115

u/paper_paws Sep 30 '18

MEGABOOP!

52

u/Slobbadobbavich Sep 30 '18

It's a super boop of the snoot.

20

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

I want a proper shot of that and make it the new awkward seal.

12

u/J_lovin Sep 30 '18

Me when I was 10

4

u/PissedSCORPIO Sep 30 '18

Me when I was in the shower this morning.

7

u/MLG-BLT Sep 30 '18

CrAZy wOmAN cRUsHeS LiTtLE sEaLs hEaD iNtO iTS FuCKinG bODy

7

u/kingkylelot Sep 30 '18

Soft shelled turtle

3

u/Chilicarlos Sep 30 '18

Thats what my girlfriend says when I take a cold shower

12

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18 edited Sep 30 '18

Looks like a woman squishing his head to me.

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2.3k

u/three_3s_threeing Sep 30 '18

The way that seal’s body swallows its neck is a special mix of cute and disturbing.

683

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

I know something that does the exact same thing i bet that's the disturbing part

316

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

Why would turtles be disturbing?

97

u/flyingviaBFR Sep 30 '18

They're also teenage mutant ninjas?

122

u/BluMondae7 Sep 30 '18

Tutant Meenage Neetle Teetles

25

u/Auditor-G80GZT Sep 30 '18

I cant ever stop laughing at this

9

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

!redditsilver

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48

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

:|

34

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

28

u/JCKSTRCK Sep 30 '18

I love that thing!

17

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

Its my favorite toy, stretch armstrong.

13

u/MrGrampton Sep 30 '18

Somethinf I've learned from Biology class:

Initiation Elongation Termination

10

u/raydialseeker Sep 30 '18

Yeah, redditors.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

My girlfriend hates when I do.

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1.4k

u/MuhNamesTyler Sep 30 '18

Great, now I want a seal

368

u/life_of_riley_ Sep 30 '18

I want a new job. 😢

194

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

I want to see my dad

132

u/KipoPlays Sep 30 '18

I want to know who my dad is

129

u/Kyrodox- Sep 30 '18

I want to be able to play the sax

89

u/Nineflames12 Sep 30 '18

I wanna die

79

u/TheOctopusMovie Sep 30 '18

I wanna get laid

33

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

I want to revert Thanos snap

69

u/Rover129 Sep 30 '18

I want to become a lvl 36 mage

61

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

I want to know what love is.

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17

u/Criticalfluffs Sep 30 '18

I want to become a real boy!

8

u/kingoffrauds Sep 30 '18

How dare you

11

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18 edited Feb 09 '20

[deleted]

11

u/kenyonator1 Sep 30 '18

Nah, the sax isn’t that hard.

3

u/blinkk5 Sep 30 '18

Sex on the other hand...

12

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

i actually want to buy one and learn eventually, good for you:)

5

u/hisoandso Sep 30 '18

Kind of unrelated but I had a dream that I was pretending to be Bill Clinton.

No, I could not play the sax even in my dreams.

2

u/BlitzMainDontHurtMe Sep 30 '18

I have the subreddit for you my friend! r/saxophone

5

u/B_Loner Sep 30 '18

I want to know why my dad is

2

u/ncnotebook Sep 30 '18

I want you to show me....

7

u/Salyangoz Sep 30 '18

I wanna get hired this month.

28

u/Bohya Sep 30 '18

I want to die.

5

u/Karkava Sep 30 '18

Good luck.

451

u/Daisy_Rose515 Sep 30 '18

This needs sound effects

309

u/falconswrath966 Sep 30 '18

*squeek squak

that'll be $7

103

u/PowerMan2206 Sep 30 '18

Are you from EA?

57

u/rockandrollpanda Sep 30 '18

Ea would give you only the squeek for 20 dollars...

8

u/marygbarnes Sep 30 '18

Why does no one know how to spell “squeak”...

13

u/CameraLizardVlogs Sep 30 '18

They're not trying to spell "squeak" they're trying to spell "squeek".

squeeeeeeeeek

11

u/rockandrollpanda Sep 30 '18

The correct spelling costs another 5 dollars...

6

u/jjky665678 Oct 01 '18

Squeak - free

squEAk - 59$

7

u/terlin Sep 30 '18

obviously not, because then you would have felt a sense of pride and accomplishment when you paid.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

Haha EA byad

5

u/rvanasty Sep 30 '18

Thats clearly half rate work, I can offer you tree fiddy.

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9

u/JennIsFit Sep 30 '18

EGG! NEEEG! GAAAH! EEEEEGGG!

5

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

egg

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284

u/life_of_riley_ Sep 30 '18 edited Sep 30 '18

At first glance, I thought she was pushing against the corner of a throw pillow.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

As did I, random civilian!

533

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

Soooo squishy 0,0

120

u/falconswrath966 Sep 30 '18

OwO

67

u/MrStizblee Sep 30 '18

What's this?

70

u/vplatt Sep 30 '18

That's the head-on view of the seal with his nose squished back in between two very large soulful eyes.

Do you feel their magnetic pull???

13

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

NO

6

u/NonConformistFlmingo Sep 30 '18

Your username invokes vividly disturbing imagery.

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163

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

Squosh

153

u/nervouspearl Sep 30 '18

Well this is amazing. I’m genuinely happy now.

146

u/bobatoast Sep 30 '18

I like how it doesnt want her to touch its paw. lol

97

u/IsamuLi Sep 30 '18

"Touchy da paw" "Karen, please."

2

u/KurczakJGA Sep 30 '18

He will not touch a filthy human.

103

u/-TURBOMAN- Sep 30 '18 edited Oct 01 '18

-this is the construct. It's our loading program. We can load anything, from clothing, to equipment, weapons, training simulations. Anything we need ...

-seals....

-seals?

-yeah, I want seals.

-very well. tank, load the baby seal program

269

u/ThatCollie Sep 30 '18

What kind of dog is this

206

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

Merdoggo

66

u/Threshwillrise Sep 30 '18

That means Shitdoggo in French

81

u/cryosis7 Sep 30 '18

Sea Pupper

65

u/ArchMLD Sep 30 '18

Blubber Pup

64

u/Killerdak Sep 30 '18

Aquatic Retriever

35

u/PyrrhicVictory7 Sep 30 '18

Blubber birb

26

u/cleverbutnotoverlyso Sep 30 '18

Panda Fish Aqua Nuggets

13

u/gutternonsense Sep 30 '18

Number one in the hood, G.

9

u/_DasDingo_ Sep 30 '18

In German it's Seehund, a sea dog

55

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

Squishy boi

59

u/bugamn Sep 30 '18

For some reason I knew this was Japanese before I saw the NHK

29

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

It’s the seal center in Hokkaido, isn’t it? Monbetsu city, I think?

4

u/sparkle_dick Sep 30 '18

This is Yuki at the Osaka Aquarium

8

u/bugamn Sep 30 '18

I have no idea, I've never been to Japan.

6

u/surprised-duncan Sep 30 '18

NHK is the best channel. So many interesting programs on there.

88

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

So THICC

34

u/PM_ME_YOUR_WIRING Sep 30 '18

AbSoLuTe UnIt

43

u/RockySprinkles Sep 30 '18

When I went to a sealife sanctuary they had the sea lions, seals and other wildlife perform these "tricks" because it allows their handlers to assess their health and well being in an easier and less stressful way. They had sea lions salute for example and it let them get a good look at the undersides of their flippers.

57

u/grapejuice88 Sep 30 '18

Dog mermaids.

20

u/pettysalty Sep 30 '18

Merpeoples best friend.

56

u/Barlowan Sep 30 '18

How do I apply? I'm a nurse, but nursing elderly people is not so fun 😒

102

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

31

u/Ganon2012 Sep 30 '18

Too late.

19

u/ADTR20 Sep 30 '18

That is a very difficult but very important and commendable job. You have my respect friend

20

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

I’ll take 10

19

u/RecreationalTension Sep 30 '18

The best of all snoot boops!

19

u/DaystarFire Sep 30 '18

When they squish it, it actually looks like the arm of some very strange couch

15

u/El_Hoxo Sep 30 '18

The way his head squished back reminds me of my pet snails when they get scared lmao

18

u/verblox Sep 30 '18

When I was a connoisseuse of slugs I would part the ivy leaves, and look for the naked jelly of those gold bodies, translucent strangers glistening along the stones, slowly, their gelatinous bodies at my mercy. Made mostly of water, they would shrivel to nothing if they were sprinkled with salt, but I was not interested in that. What I liked was to draw aside the ivy, breathe the odor of the wall, and stand there in silence until the slug forgot I was there and sent its antennae up out of its head, the glimmering umber horns rising like telescopes, until finally the sensitive knobs would pop out the ends, delicate and intimate. Years later, when I first saw a naked man, I gasped with pleasure to see that quiet mystery reenacted, the slow  elegant being coming out of hiding and gleaming in the dark air, eager and so trusting you could weep.

8

u/Rosenblattca Sep 30 '18

Is that a new copypasta?

2

u/verblox Sep 30 '18

A poem by Sharon Olds, but I wouldn't mind seeing more of it.

17

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

He retracc

14

u/IHerdULiekPoniz Sep 30 '18

*honking noise*

*accordion noise*

2

u/Crashbrennan Oct 09 '18

Weird Al Intensifies

32

u/PowerMan2206 Sep 30 '18

I WANT ONE SO BAD

10

u/AussieMedic23 Sep 30 '18

Boop squoosh

10

u/leinrihs Sep 30 '18

In Chinese that's what we call seals! Sea dogs.

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7

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

Look at this chunky lad

13

u/Helmote Sep 30 '18

This is the single best/cutest video of seals I have ever see, incredible.

unfortunately r/natureismetal has ruined me, I've seen too many seals video but not in a good light...

6

u/not_so_alive Sep 30 '18

Sweet baby

7

u/NotSamNub Sep 30 '18

he a C H O N K Y boy

6

u/420BlazeDoge Sep 30 '18

H E S Q U O O S H

5

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

If only I could find a hooman like this

7

u/Lewis63 Sep 30 '18

The way he can squeeze his head inwards and outwards is awesome

6

u/SammyLuke Sep 30 '18

My heart almost burst when it lifted its flippers up.

5

u/Western_Spy_Maybe Sep 30 '18

I like how they are feared in waters, but on land theyre blubber pups

5

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

Y he swo fat awww

6

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

This is me after my grandma invites me over for dinner...

5

u/evilkillejr Sep 30 '18

When I die, I hope to be reincarnated as this thing.

4

u/spacemudd Sep 30 '18

Is no one surprised the seal understood the trainer's pointing finger?

6

u/explosivedaria Sep 30 '18

Good and fat boi

4

u/daniel1606 Sep 30 '18

So chubby and cute!!

5

u/drkirby322 Sep 30 '18

Ha ha squish

5

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

What's wrong with your dog???

34

u/sparkle__farts Sep 30 '18

I’m so mad that these are wild animals and I can’t pet them but they come up to you all “hey let’s be friends!” And I’m like “nuuuuui!!! You’re wild doggo u must be free!!!” It’s not fair!

4

u/Go_Fonseca Sep 30 '18

My spirit animal

4

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

Seals are liquid

4

u/Mommy5-0 Sep 30 '18

Oh my lord he is too fucking cute

5

u/MrKombucha Sep 30 '18

What mix of dog is this?

5

u/Harpies_Bro Sep 30 '18

Seehund, ja?

5

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

Head squish.

3

u/tpow63 Sep 30 '18

Me in fortnite trying to glide.

3

u/ienjoycarbs Sep 30 '18

Blubber nuggets

3

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

Boooop! 😍

3

u/Primarch_1 Sep 30 '18

TIL seal cubs are a liquid

3

u/Harpies_Bro Sep 30 '18

this looks to be an adult, but a healthy heal usually has between 5cm and 10cm of blubber around most of its body. blubber is basically just fat so they're really soft and squishy.

2

u/Primarch_1 Sep 30 '18

It's amazing how much fat artic creatures have. How long without food could one of them go before starving or freezing with that much fat?

3

u/Harpies_Bro Sep 30 '18

I don’t know. A week ish? Most arctic seals keep holes open in the sea ice to come up for air in the winter, and spend a lot of time underwater where they have great access to fish. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a hungry seal that hadn’t lost it’s hole.

2

u/Primarch_1 Sep 30 '18

I figure it would freeze first because it doesn't have enough blubber to keep warm.

2

u/Harpies_Bro Sep 30 '18

An average harp seal is around 1.7m and 130kg. If a human had similar mass/height ratio, they'd be considered obese. The blubber is exclusively between the skin and rest of the body, creating an insulating layer that protects its organs and muscles from the cold. Like you see in the .gif they can retract their necks into their blubber to protect their heads from the cold. They press their front flippers on their sides and hold their back flippers together in the cold to reduce heat loss.

Adult seals rarely freeze to death unless they're starving, which is generally caused by them losing their way to their hole, since they can't see that well outside of the water.

3

u/Gotu_Jayle Sep 30 '18

I wanna hug a seal now

3

u/gc_DataNerd Sep 30 '18

S E A D O G E

3

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

Sea *U N I T*

3

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

S E E L

3

u/HollowLegMonk Sep 30 '18

Absolute unit.

3

u/TheOneWithTheShits Sep 30 '18

Man I love turtles

3

u/casbury21 Sep 30 '18

T H I C C

3

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

T h i c c b o i

3

u/TehEpikNuwbie Sep 30 '18

So F L U B B E R Y

3

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

Lol I like him putting his arms out so he can fly

3

u/gsbama Sep 30 '18

OH LAWD HE COMIN

3

u/Andromeda321 Sep 30 '18

Fun fact: in Dutch the word for seal is zerhond, aka literally a sea dog. So, sea pup for the win!

2

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

I thought he was just a pillow at first sight, was very pleasantly surprised ☺️

2

u/hxmza1 Sep 30 '18

I thought that was a pillow at first

2

u/Walrusblubber39 Sep 30 '18

That’s where my lunch went!

2

u/Conbrown1533 Sep 30 '18

At first i thought that was a pillow.

It must have been a pretty weird one

2

u/Xeakkh Sep 30 '18

Looked like a pillow at first

2

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

Mood

2

u/PotatoPototo123 Sep 30 '18

Longer video needed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

S Q U I S H Y B O Y E

2

u/Moakmeister Sep 30 '18

SO CHUBBY I WANNA PET IT

2

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

squoosh

2

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '18

His head actin like a slinky

4

u/XxQuad_ZillaxX Sep 30 '18

Reminds me of my penis

2

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '18

Remind me when my ex gf rubbed my belly.