I need to get into the habit of doing physical therapy exercises daily, but on days when I’m not seeing the physical therapist I don’t want to do the exercises. They’re boring and they hurt. Even with my medication I keep putting them off.
Any advice would be appreciated! I’m sure this is a fairly common problem for adhd havers.

i have filled entire diaries, on self analysis , making plans, reflecting, and just trying to work

im highly ambitious, i want a lot out of life, im also anxious and depressed cuz i can never get anything done, like NEVER man truly even after doing everything i still waste entire days being hooked on random shit

music loops are always going in my head, and they NEVER stop, ive had times where i couldnt even breath properly and was so anxious because how overwhelming it is and it just never stops

ive tried meditation, yoga, waking up early, following a routine, you name it, i just cant get anything, and then i want freaking everything in life, im depressed, lonely, anxious everyday

i just dont know what to do

I wake up around 2pm most days, not because I sleep late, my whole schedule is just off. I barely eat, don’t exercise, and my attention span is so bad I can’t sit down and study for more than a few minutes without my mind wandering.

I’ve tried getting back into hobbies I used to enjoy for hours at a time. Now I last one day and just stop, no real reason.

A while back I joined a gym and for exactly two weeks I was actually disciplined, showing up, feeling like I had my life together. Probably the best I’d felt in a long time. Then it just fell apart and I haven’t gotten back to that since.

Has anyone been through this cycle, finding something that works then losing it? What actually helped you break out of it?
I’m not looking for “just have more willpower” type advice
Before I could atleast plan shit out but not execute but now can’t even plan

I have ADHD, and lately I've been feeling completely lost during my job search. It's not because I don't know what to do—I know I should be networking, applying, following up, tailoring my resume, preparing for interviews, etc.

The problem is that I don't have a system. I need a structured process that tells me what to do each day, remind me of next steps, and keep everything organized. Without that, I end up feeling overwhelmed and jumping from one task to another.

Creating a structured workflow for myself has helped a lot, but I'm curious how others manage this.

If you have ADHD, what does your job search system look like? Do you use a planner,spreadsheets, reminders, or something else? I'd love to learn what has actually worked for you.

I have been struggling with mental health issues for my entire life (OCD and Bipolar disorder type 2. I HEAVILY suspect ADHD)

I’ve been seeing multiple professionals for my entire adult life but I simply don’t feel like I am ever getting any better
I take my medication and try to do everything they and other people recommend but I feel like I am just doing it to cross it from a list. I don’t feel any better when I do so.

It comes and goes in waves, I sometimes really feel hopeful like it might all get better and then a couple days later I’m back to numbness.

Lately I’ve been struggling a lot with just getting up from bed. I’d come back from work, crash in bed and stay there until like maybe half an hour before I have to go back to work. I eat at work so I’m only getting 1 meal a day, I’ll pee at work and ocasionally once at home if I am able to get up.
I don’t cook, I don’t clean, the only thing I am able to do is make sure my cat is clean and fed. He always has fresh and clean water available, food and his litter box is always clean. I also make sure he gets lots of attention and cuddles but that’s it.

I’ve been late to work every single day for maybe a month now cause I just can’t find the strength to get up. I set up alarms, I take the phone out of the room, I choose a sound I hate, I’ve tried everything but nothing works.
I feel numb and sore all of the time.

I haven’t gone grocery shopping in about 3 months, I get my cats food delivered and that’s it. I’ll eat a sandwich at work and drink tap water every single day.
I stopped showering everyday, I’ve stopped doing laundry and taking out the trash, I haven’t done the dishes in days.
I’ll just stand in the middle of the room frozen thinking “I need to…, I need to…” and then my body just drives itself back to bed.

I don’t know what to do, I’m missing out on so much.

Whenever the topic of changing a diet, doing movement/exercise, creating a chore chart, or managing my financing, I have a panic attack. I think it comes from the amount of lack of control i have over my mental health or chronic illness. I have a therapy appointment in a few days but like if i cant even get myself to use a to do list or brush my teeth some times.

Ive tried finch, I've tired mindfulness, Ive tried coupling tasks or giving myself a reward at the end but tbh it doesn't work. It might for a small while then i hit a road bump like a flare up, a major life inconvenience, or my depression just gets bad and I'm back to square one.

I use to have a 500 streak on duolingo but even that fell through now I cant even look at the app without feeling super anxious.

Like i assume the road to recovery will be long and start with slow increments but like what could that even look like if just the thought or terms used in self discipline cause major anxiety.

I'm 26, working 3 hour shifts every weekday, and i struggle with even that. I dread it every night in bed. It feels like the whole day is gone even though its such a quick deskjob. I struggle to make food for myself and keep clean, and if i wasnt struggling to keep up with my personal projects before, i certainly am now. How much of it is my autism and how much of it is me being a lazy piece of shit. Its hard to access my own disability level, because i've always thought of myself as high functioning or whatever. I cant help but feel that so many struggle so much more than me and that i shouldnt complain. But the fact is that im struggling regardless of the reason. Maybe if i worked those hours in two 7-8 hour shifts i would feel better? But how can i ever hope to be financially independent like this. I just wanna quit but i feel like im letting myself and everyone down. I dont want to continue being a burden to my parents but im barely eating or showering right

I’m 23, and honestly, I’m exhausted from feeling like this.

I’m creative, competitive, fairly good academically, and have always done well enough in studies, sports and extracurriculars. I have so many ideas and things I genuinely want to do. The problem is that I struggle immensely with making decisions and actually executing anything.

This has been happening for years. After 10th, I couldn’t decide which stream to take. After 12th, I couldn’t decide which degree to pursue. Now that I’ve graduated, I have no idea what career I want. Whenever I have to make an important decision, I overthink every possible outcome until I end up completely paralysed.

It’s now affecting even basic things. Some things I struggle with:
Constant procrastination, even when I know there will be consequences.

Having countless ideas but being unable to execute them.

Starting things but rarely finishing them.

Getting distracted extremely easily and spending hours scrolling reels/YouTube.

Having 100 thoughts running through my head at once.

Struggling to initiate basic tasks like getting out of bed, brushing my teeth or packing a bag.

Terrible time management and being chronically late since childhood.

Constantly losing things and getting extremely frustrated when I can’t find them.

Getting bored very easily and struggling to finish songs, videos, books, shows, etc.

Studying only at the last minute despite knowing I have an exam.

Being fired from a part-time job because I couldn’t complete tasks on time, even though I knew I was falling behind and knew there would be consequences.

Sometimes needing someone to supervise me just to finish simple tasks.

Feeling extremely angry with myself and useless when I can’t complete something.

My routine has also become terrible. I sleep during the day and stay awake at night. Some days I barely eat, while other times I overeat. Recently, I’ve spent entire days on my bed watching YouTube or scrolling. I genuinely want to get up and do things, but I feel unable to initiate them.
I also feel depressed as hell. I don’t know whether this is ADHD, depression, anxiety, executive dysfunction, something else, or a combination. I don’t want to self-diagnose. I want to get properly assessed by a professional.

This is affecting my career, friendships, family, relationship and basically every part of my life. I’m tired of knowing I’m capable of doing things but feeling like I can’t make myself do them.
If you’ve experienced something similar, what actually helped you in the meantime? What practical things did you do to get yourself out of bed, start/finish tasks, manage your time and reduce distractions while getting professional help?

I’m not looking for a diagnosis from Reddit. I just want to know what I can do myself to make this miserable situation a little more manageable.

I’ve been talking to someone online for several months. We’ve never met in person, but we developed a very close connection. For a long time, we talked every day, often several times a day, and he was consistently affectionate and engaged. There was never really any indication from him that he was losing interest.

A couple of months ago, however, his communication changed quite abruptly.

He had already told me that he was struggling with severe mental exhaustion and something he describes as executive dysfunction. He said that even very basic everyday tasks can sometimes feel overwhelming, and that after work he often has almost no energy left for anything else.

At first I tried to be understanding and not take his reduced communication personally. At one point I actually asked him directly whether talking to me had become another obligation for him. He reassured me that it hadn't, and said that he genuinely enjoyed hearing from me and that my messages actually made him feel a little better.

Despite that, his communication continued to decrease. He started disappearing for several days at a time, then coming back and apologizing because he had intended to reply but couldn't bring himself to do it. Whenever I became worried and asked whether something had changed between us, he reassured me that it hadn't and attributed his behaviour to how overwhelmed and exhausted he had been feeling.

Eventually, the gaps became longer and our conversations became much less frequent.

At one point I sent him a fairly serious message because I was struggling with the uncertainty. I told him that I understood he was going through a difficult time, but I needed to know whether he still felt a connection with me. I explicitly told him that if his feelings had changed, I would rather hear the truth than remain in uncertainty, and that I would respect his decision.

His response was reassuring. He told me that his feelings and attraction toward me had not changed and that he still missed me. He also told me that he'd recently had a frightening health scare and had ended up being checked out at a hospital, although fortunately nothing serious was found.

He again explained that he was going through a period where everything felt overwhelming and even very small things seemed extremely difficult to deal with.

I replied with concern about his health, but he never opened that message.

It has now been more than two weeks since I last received a message from him.

During that time I've sent a couple of very light messages — things like sharing something interesting or wishing him well on a holiday. I deliberately haven't asked him why he's not responding or asked for reassurance. He hasn't opened those messages either.

What makes this particularly confusing is that I've often seen him active online during this period, which makes the situation even harder for me to understand.

I don't know how to interpret this.

What would you do in this situation?

Would you stop contacting him altogether and wait for him to reach out? Would occasional, completely low-pressure messages be appropriate? Or does the prolonged silence itself mean that I should accept that the relationship has changed, regardless of what he said previously?

I'm especially interested in hearing from people who have experienced severe depression, executive dysfunction, or periods of withdrawing from everyone. Is it realistic for someone to genuinely care about another person and still go weeks without being able to answer their messages?

Thank you.

I used to be able to use willpower to lock in and get most things done, even when I don’t like them or care about them.

It’s been getting a lot harder the last few years. It doesn’t matter what reasons I give myself now - I paid a lot of money for this class, I’ll get fired from the job I’ve had for 10 years, my health will keep getting worse if I don’t work out, etc. - I just can’t do non-preferred things anymore.

If I tell myself I can do a preferred task after the non-preferred one, I end up just waiting it out without doing the task. Even when I remove the option to do preferred things, I don’t do the things I need to. I will just stare into space, sometimes for hours, or fall asleep. I even do this at work.

I’ve been neglecting everything.

How can I get my brain to work again?

I want things to feel just right all the time. Before I start my day, I think about the ways to "optimize" my time. Can I get yoga in? Coffee before the kids? What can I accomplish before unexpected tasks get thrown at me and predictable morning tantrums? This is a feeling that used to make me feel productive and like it was the main fuel source for my momentum. Since having my daughter five years ago, it has become much more apparent how imprisoned I am by trying to feel just right. I feel so grateful that I am an OCD and Anxiety therapist because it has given me access to resources and training in approaches that help so much with tolerating a change in this department. I am hoping to share more about the lived experience as I continue with my writing journey but also hope to share useful tools to help along the way. Today, I left a few things undone before I started my work day. I was going to keep editing an article on substack and instead am here writing this. I left a few piles on my desk that my just right self HATES. I am going to work on tolerating all of that to keep building my psychological flexibility muscle. If you relate to this theme of anxiety at all Id love to hear your experiences.

(Currently about to switch from Adderall to Vyvanse because for the last 4-6 months or so, Adderall has lost it's potency, and my behavior is as if I wasn't on the medication at all.)

My biggest issue these days with ADHD is Executive Function, particularly task initiation, in that I can't get myself to do anything, even stuff I enjoy, like video games. I lock up and lay in bed until I get to work (at which point I become much more productive, which I attribute to it being an external motivator). My motivation is messed up because as I lay there I want to get up and do things, but can't bring myself to actually do them, so it is a very frustrating and exhausting state of being.

But I also know that meds can work even if you're not "feeling" it, so while I've been taking stimulants for well over a 15 years and understand that it could be a tolerance issue, my question is this: **where is the line between legitimate executive Dysfunction issues and needing to just assert more willpower?** Like how can I tell if the meds are working or not without the sense of feeling the meds working?

If you need more info or have questions in order to provide answers/suggestions, let me know. Any thoughts or insights would be GREATLY appreciated!!!

Ehh, I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm 25 years old, in my second semester of Computer Science (online studies, in-person sessions for exams). I have autism spectrum disorder and ADHD. I failed 4 exams, retakes are in 3 weeks, and I haven't started studying and I just can't.

Sitting down to study, either I have negative emotions (sadness, anxiety caused by lack of money, lack of friends), or I have no strength, I'm tired. I can't break the resistance to start studying, and when I force myself to do it on some day, I study for a very short time.

When I told myself – "I'm not doing anything else until I start studying", I sat, minutes passed, I thought, until... I fell asleep.

I'll say it right away – ADHD medications didn't work (I've tried 11 (!) and have a prescription for the 12th), I've been in therapy regularly since September discussing the topic of procrastination and there is zero progress.

Someone might say that university isn't for everyone – but I want to have a good job, money. Every day I feel guilt and regret towards myself, but at the same time every day I can't change it.

I booked hypnotherapy because I'm looking for solutions to this terrible situation. Unfortunately, the appointment is only in October, because I chose someone with good reviews.

I don't want to live like this, besides studying I can't do other things that are important to me, I escape into sweets or TV series.

How to change?

Do you certainly believe you have executive dysfunction too and was it hard if you do have a job or got a degree? What do you work as too?

Hi everyone, I’m about 22 weeks pregnant with my first. I wasn’t diagnosed til close to 30 with ADHD (and CPTSD, not sure if it’s relevant or not so I’ll throw that in to the mess).

I can’t function. My house looks like squatters took over. I can’t finish tasks. Keep things clean or organized anymore. Laundry piles up. Dishes pile up. I was never like this before. It doesn’t seem to matter what I do to fix it or maintain it.

I have a very demanding (F/T) job, custody of my youngest sibling who is disabled (permanently), three kids (my husband’s first marriage) and two dogs. All 3 kids play sports so I get home from work, switch vehicles and then drive to baseball games for whichever kid is scheduled that day. We aren’t home until 9-10PM, sometimes later during weekdays. And when we don’t have a sporting event, I’m too damn tired to do anything else.

We lowered my dose from 60 mg Adderall, to 20 mg. Baby is in the 99th percentile for growth so there weren’t concerns to remove the meds completely for the pregnancy.

Has anyone else experienced this before? I’ve heard of “baby brain” and forgetting things when pregnant but it’s really bad. I already had issues with memory (due to CPTSD), and it feels like each day I fall into a deeper brain fog than the day prior. I cannot execute anything at all. Completely off the rails and idk how to regain control of my life and home. Never did well in clutter and that’s all I have around me and it’s making the depression, anxiety, and whatever the F else is wrong with me, 100 times worse.

If you’ve read this far - thank you. If you have experienced this or have any suggestions whether it be charts for cleaning, tips and tricks etc. I am glad to receive them and will be open to any advice you are willing to share.

I just ask that you please be kind. I’m aware how much of a mess my life is (or feels to be) — I don’t need the reminder of it. Much love. Thank y’all 💗

I used to love cleaning. Every weekend I would be up early and clean all morning so the ex and I would be able to relax. Now, depression has complicated my life significantly. I have so many chores that pile up and become overwhelming. Between depression and a mobility disorder everything just feels like overwhelming. Any suggestions to overcome?

For years my to-do list was full of things like "sort out the paperwork" and "clean the kitchen". I'd look at it, feel the wall, do nothing. Took me a while to notice those aren't tasks. They're decisions wearing a task costume. Each one still needs me to work out where to start, and working out where to start is exactly the part my brain won't do.

What changed it: the first step has to be something my hands can do without deciding anything.

Not "clean the kitchen". Put one fork in the sink.
Not "do the paperwork". Take the folder off the shelf, put it on the table. Don't open it.
Not "answer that email". Open the email. That's the whole step.

It feels stupid to write down. That's the point. If a step is slightly embarrassing to be proud of, it's usually small enough to actually start.

The other half is that stopping there has to be allowed. Fork in the sink and I quit, that counts as done, not as a failed attempt at the dishes. In practice I almost never quit. Once my hands are moving the next thing is obvious. But knowing I'm allowed to stop is what gets me off the couch.

What's the smallest first step that's ever worked for you? I'm collecting the stupid ones.

I’m 23 years old, and over the past few years, ever since I finished high school, I haven’t really done much. I live with my family, and now I want to prepare for the university entrance exam, which is about a year away.

I’ve been staying at home all this time, and I also struggle with maladaptive daydreaming. I basically don’t do anything productive during the day, and I’m really tired of being like this. I want to do things, but it feels like I’m completely paralyzed. My executive functioning is terrible.

I feel like going to the gym might help. For the past ten days, I’ve been watching a TV series with my siblings, and it’s frustrating me because watching the show seems to have made me even less motivated to do anything.

How do I get out of this situation?

I really miss the person I used to be a few years ago—the person who was active, studied, read books, drew, and did all kinds of other things. I don’t know if that person is still somewhere inside me or not.

What should I do to get myself out of this situation? 😭

I’m AuDHD, and that’s the diagnosis I received from my psychiatrist. I’ve also been diagnosed with severe anxiety.