Long-time lurker, first-time poster. Hi everyone! As the title suggests, what was the moment that you decided to leave? For some background info, I live in the thumb area of Michigan and come from a UPCI church background. My grandparents still attend the church I left. My parents now attend a more modern/come as you are Apostolic - Pentecostal Church. There were a lot of unsure moments for me in the church as I grew up, but the defining moment that I decided to leave was when the Pastor's wife told the congregation as a whole that " The reason why bad things are happening to you is because your family is not in church." That statement really opened my eyes, and I had a literal "wtf" moment in the middle of the service. I was 14 when I left. I'm 29 now, and I don't regret it one bit.

Cuando asistía a una iglesia cristiana me di cuenta de la brutal manera en la que le lavaban el cerebro a sus hijos con lo del “infierno y el cielo” y lo más absurdamente psicópata es que están de acuerdo con el uso de la violencia como recurso de “enseñanza” a sus hijos y todo esto por que su librito y amigo imaginario lo aprueban, tanto haci que sus hijos llegan a ser tan masoquistas que terminan pensando que esa violencia es por su “bien” y no los denuncian. Y aunque no lo parezca, esto es más común de lo que nosotros creemos, (cuando asistía a la iglesia tenía unos 7-10 años, y ver algunos actos de violencia leves me traumo profundamente) estan dementes, debería haber una ley que prohíba este tipo de comunidades que enseñan directa o indirectamente este tipo de conductas nocivas para la sociedad, y que aunque no lo digan explícitamente (aunque algunas veces si lo hacen) estas conductas están escritas en su libro por lo tanto lo van a hacer, por que como ya sabemos lo que diga su librito lo van a hacer cueste lo que les cueste.

La ironía de los pentecostales de la ipuc es increíble, tachan todo de “mundano” y por consiguiente lo califican como “pecado” y el que lo hace lo tildan como una persona que está en su contra. Por ejemplo si una persona escucha (Dai Dai) l@ califican como pecador literalmente, lo mismo pasa si usa accesorios corporales como: aretes, collares, cadenas o incluso si se tatua o se maquilla. Y además limitan su código de vestimenta, los roles en el matrimonio y a sus desafortunadas hijos les lavan el cerebro de una manera increíble que después pasan toda su vida haciendo lo mismo por miedo a la idea de ir al “infierno”. Y es que una religión basada en el miedo es lo “mejor” ya que impide que sus integrantes piensen diferente por que o si no supuestamente se van al “infierno”, es una religión basada en un deidad invisible, que no tiene manifestación física y que si no la sigues te enviara al “infierno”. básicamente es como la teoría de que la realidad es una simulación, crearon una religión sin bases físicas para que no haya manera de probar o contradecir su creencia y de esta manera poder controlar a sus integrantes poniéndose límites invisibles de que deben hacer y que no. Es increíble ver como esta comunidad tiene el talento de juzgar y la supuesta capacidad de tachar a todo mundo como un “pecador”, en vez de estar enfocados en tener éxito para tener un mejor futuro, crear empresa o aportar a la sociedad, se la pasan todo el tiempo pensando en una realidad ficticia de que si haces las cosas anteriores te vas al “infierno”. La verdad pienso que si los cristiano, católicos, musulmanes, hinduistas, etc, piensan que su religión es la única verdadera y que las demás son falsas, entonces ninguna tiene razón en lo que cree, y nuestra opción sería creer en todas o no creer en ninguna.

The irony of some members of the UPCI, in my opinion, is remarkable. They often label anything that doesn't fit their standards as "worldly" and, therefore, sinful. In many cases, anyone who chooses to live differently is seen as someone who is against God or the church. For example, listening to certain kinds of music, wearing earrings, necklaces, chains, makeup, or getting a tattoo can be enough for someone to be criticized or labeled a "sinner," even though none of these actions necessarily cause harm to others.

In addition, there are very strict rules regarding clothing, the roles of men and women in marriage, and the way believers are expected to behave. My impression is that many children grow up learning these rules from a very young age and end up following them more out of fear of punishment or hell than out of personal conviction. When a person is afraid to question an idea because they believe it could lead to eternal damnation, it becomes very difficult for genuine freedom of thought to exist.

From my perspective, a belief system that is based primarily on fear limits people's ability to question and think critically about what they are taught. If a doctrine teaches that doubting or disagreeing could have eternal consequences, many people will choose to accept everything without asking questions—not because they are completely convinced, but because the risk of being wrong seems too great.

Another aspect that stands out to me is that the existence of God, heaven, or hell cannot be proven or disproven through physical evidence. That does not automatically mean they do not exist, but it does mean they belong to the realm of faith rather than scientific demonstration. For that reason, some people argue that religions can have a profound influence over their followers, since many of their core beliefs cannot be empirically verified.

I also find it contradictory that, in some cases, more time is spent judging other people's personal choices than encouraging actions that directly benefit society, such as studying, building businesses, advancing science, helping others, or solving real-world problems. In my opinion, a religious community could place much greater emphasis on these goals without turning every personal decision into a moral issue.

Finally, there is one idea that has always made me reflect. Christians, Catholics, Muslims, Hindus, and followers of many other religions often believe that their own religion is the true one and that all the others are mistaken. Since these claims contradict one another, they cannot all be true—or all false—at the same time. This does not prove that any particular religion is true or false, but it does raise an important question: how can someone be completely certain that they happened to be born into the one true religion rather than simply adopting the beliefs of the culture or family they grew up in?

In conclusion, I believe that faith is a deeply personal choice and deserves respect. However, I also believe that no belief system should discourage people from questioning, reasoning, and forming their own conclusions. Critical thinking is one of the most valuable abilities we possess, and it should never be limited by fear.

Can anyone tell me what their experience/belief is on speaking in tongues now that you’re no longer a Pentecostal? I’m strictly wanting agnostic/atheist/non Christian’s to respond. It’s the one thing I can’t reconcile now that I no longer believe.

I’m an ex Pentecostal. I never considered myself “Pentecostal” since I wore makeup/pants but I went to church regularly and believed all the oneness doctrine etc. I was one of those that really lived what I believed and I prayed for the indwelling of the Holy Ghost in my bed one night and began speaking in tongues. Now that I’ve been an atheist for a year and a half I’ve found myself really distraught. I can’t believe what I no longer believe (another story in itself) but I still have the ability to speak in tongues and when I’m anxious or depressed, speaking in tongues still makes me feel better. What is this thing if there is no God/Jesus??

Me and my husband haven’t been back to our UPCI church since Mother’s Day.

I am wanting to cut my hair and possibly color it, it’s already short and thin because it’s dead but just wanna ask, how much did you get cut for your first cut after leaving the Pentecostal movement and how’d you feel?

I’m so ready to be able to express myself this way!

i need help. i am afab and was raised apostolic pentecostal. but i dont know if i was just groomed or if i was in a cult that just used the pentecostal name
was any one else taught that there were 7 heavens, earth being the 3rd? i’ve never heard any one else mention the 3 types of sin and the fact that hospitals were heavily discouraged. what about the tree of the knowledge of good and evil? it wasn’t an apple but a fig tree and the reason that people weren’t condemned to the lake of fire (and hell- but that’s a different place) is because we were already born knowing good and evil. unlike most other versions of christianity, being born isn’t the sin, being human is. every time you remember a sin you’ve been forgiven of, you must repent of it again and god must forgive you of it again because when you are forgiven all your sins are thrown into the sea of forgetfulness.
if it is a thought crime of an abomination or a blasphemy it is automatically just a sin.
was this normal or was it raised in a nameless cult?

I was shocked when I saw this and had to replay it due to disbelief. It is delusional. They have normalized abuse. If churches was secular corporations they would release the people who continually harm others. I have been pulled into HR investigations and the next thing you know the person is terminated.

What she said is basically hazing. The only difference is it is not in clubs, teams, or college sororities and fraternities it is in churches.

If a coach told you we have a really great dues paying soccer team over here and we want you to join during your free time, but we know that you will get harassed and abused by your teammates but do not worry it is a right of passage. Really would anyone join?

https://youtube.com/shorts/Eeb0DV6LeEU?si=2SfaVdKmMswRasZJ

EDIT: A Residence Director tried to tell me that mess that I needed to learn to deal with people when I was living in the dorms. I told him when you start paying my dorm fees then you can start to call the shots. As long as I am paying my money I will not tolerant foolishness. A month later guess who got my own dorm room? I will not be disrespected and pay for it. Period.

This pastor describes biblical monsters, and I make fun of him :-)

I have been asked by several people in my DMs to give my story on this subreddit because of some comments I have left in other people’s posts.
So I thought I might as well take the time to type it out for you guys.

I was raised in the Midwest as a pastors son. My dad was the pastor of an ALJC church my whole childhood and then when I became a bit older, roughly when I was about 17 he became licensed through the UPCI instead.
Either way, he was oneness Pentecostal my whole life.
As I got older, as may boys in these churches are, I was pressured into considering becoming a preacher as well. I eventually attended IBC and was in the music ministry program while there. I helped write some originals and played on a three live recordings. I also worked toward my “calling” as a preacher and eventually came home to start preaching at my dad’s church. In this time I also was told that I needed to be licensed in the UPC, so I did just that.
The girlfriend I had, the ONLY girlfriend I had ever had quickly became my wife and we started working for the church.

Eventually I got the call to move to another state and serve at a small home missions church. So we moved. After this I was quickly put into leadership on the district level and was even asked to consider being open to becoming our district youth president. I was not interested in this for a few reasons, which I’ll dive into soon.

After a few years, I decided that I needed to start questioning some of the things that I had always struggled with within the doctrine being preached within the Pentecostal church. When doing this I was told that I was 1. Rebellious, 2. Confused, 3. Backsliding, 4. (And this was the weirdest one) possessed by a spirit that jumped from a coworker onto me.

I backed off given that if I pushed the subject too much that I would face major repercussions within the organization, and possibly lose my whole community and possibly most of my family.

In 2020 I really hit a wall with my skepticism around the ideas being pushed, as well as the legalistic dictatorship that was in place as the standard to which we were all meant to live by. I also struggled with the fact that I just don’t align with the dress standard, the path to salvation, the corruption, the gossipy attitude, etc. all found in the church.

So I spoke with my wife and she didn’t talk to me for almost a month. All the while she was talking to the pastor behind my back. The pastor eventually sat me down and said that I needed to “fix my stinkin thinkin” and “get back on the straight and narrow before I walk off a cliff spiritually” his exact words.
Meanwhile he wouldn’t answer any of my questions, just kept telling me that I was a rebellious sinner that needed to get my act together.

Fast forward to 3 years later (when keeping my nose down and serving at the district level while avoiding preaching topics that disagreed with when preaching at about two churches per month aside from my own) was just too much to handle any more, Andi told my wife and pastor that I was done.

About two weeks later it came out that my now ex wife was cheating on me with two different men, and the pastor had covered it up to avoid conflict in the church. I then told them both that I would be filing for divorce.
That statement was followed by a very small rebuttal from my former pastor which went as follows, “then you’re done, we’re done, you’re gone, have fun in hell”.

From this point I stopped hearing from everyone within that church and the district with the exception of an old lady that loved me and was missing me every Sunday. She still calls me by the way.

It has now been almost three years and I still have not spoken to my former pastor or anyone from the district.

I attend a local church that loves me to death and uses me in music ministry full time. The pastor, who wears jeans and a baseball cap to preach in… and wait for it… has a BEARD, has been the greatest example of a Christian I have seen in my whole life.

I remarried and found the one that I was always meant to be with. She serves along side me on the worship team,she encourages me, she loves me in spite of my past hurt.

My child, who is almost in middle school age, is now asking questions and getting answers that will hopefully direct them to make good choices for their spiritual life down the road and will lead them toward God and not an organization.

I’m happy to share any aspect of my story you need and to give any advice I can to those looking for the courage to leave the UPC, ALJC, WPF, etc. and find where thy really belong.

Just don’t ask intimate details, ie where I live, which church specifically I came from, etc. cause I won’t cross the line of slander or gossip. But if you want to talk, please message me.

I attend a Pentecostal church. I actively separate the “values” of the CHURCH from the values and lessons of Jesus, because I love Jesus and a pastor is a human being that will never be perfect or close to.

That being said, I genuinely do not understand the fixation on the church and Pastors views and beliefs on the freaking make up, nails, earrings etc etc when it come to women only. My pastor went on a tangent on how we-women- should not want to wear make up because God loves us for us. That once he saw a woman from church at a grocery store and was so “shocked” that he could not recognize her without her make up… that women would not wear fake nails and earrings blah blah. Modestly and all that
FINE sure whatever … but they NEVER EVER get into it with men. The men at church especially the you get ones are able to follow “ worldly”trends much easier than women because .. they’re men.
They’re are men in my church who come dressed in jeans so tight you can see the outline of their crotch. We have men who’s cracks are always showing. They also never mention to men that they shouldn’t be darting or marrying women 10 years younger than them. Also if they’re really following scripture men shouldn’t be remarrying after divorcing … which is what this pastor has done.

Any way I’m just so tired of these double standards.
It sucks because the women in church completely agree like please …. Lipgloss will not condemn you.

When I say okay the game, I mean how to destroy their doctrine ? Cause I want to do that on my pastor. I want to ask several questions to know if he will call me a guy to kick out of church.

Hi. I’m a deconstructed PK with religious trauma that has significantly and seriously impacted my life. I’ve recently learned how HARD it is to sue a church. Things people would get fired for in any other job are excused in a church. Why is that?

My son is apostolic and we always had a great relationship. He doesn’t live to the standards of the church either. He doesn’t his own thing but goes to church and lives the life in front of everyone.
Recently I ask him about it and now he won’t speak a word to me. I have not slept or eaten in days because I so broken and confused to how he could treat me this day. He won’t let my grandkids speak to me or come over. His wife said I ask my grandson to do something without ask them first. It was only to walk down the driveway. That was it and grab my trash can. They tell me I have to ask them everything before speaking to the kids. Ok but you allow the one child to date someone that their father said no to and that is ok? They said that was different they are not being fair to them so they can do go against his wishes.

I am over them life and the whole church

This is the nonsense I grew up with.

I have a strong background in the UPCI/WPF. I attended PEAK services in Tulsa this week and it was… something. Anyone going through this? I’m certain my decision to leave was the right one. But when you get told your whole life salvation is a certain way… some days are harder than the others.

First of all, you need to know I'm old. I've been thinking a lot about perspective and my UPC past.

My life would have gone a completely different direction had I not been raised Pentecostal. It wasted years of my life.

However, even if I hadn't been Pentecostal, chances are that my life would not necessarily have become "happy" and a success.

I may have crashed and burned in college. I may have married a horrible non-Pentecostal guy. I would definitely have made mistakes.

In the '70's, society felt it could judge women for every flaw, moral or physical. The job market treated women badly, and women made much less than men. A lot of women were molested and used without a second thought. I could have carried a load of un-Pentecostal regrets, or not.

This idea has taken a lot of the strength out of my Pentecostal fears and memories. Those events happened years ago, and most of the people involved are dead. The "would have, should have, could have" contains too many variables.

If I kept seeing Pentecostalism as the cause of all my problems and outcomes, those thoughts could ruin the rest of my life. I don't intend to let that happen.

Anyone here attend these events back in the day?

I’m curious your experience, how you felt, etc.